That Kind of Cowboy

Chapter Ten: Lucas

I did not get a lot of sleep last night. Our kiss kept replaying in my mind. This girl has my stomach in knots, I have it bad for Maddie. My feelings are growing for her every day. I know I want this. Me, and her forever.

Mom and Grayson were right, love happens. There is no time limit, sometimes you just know when it is right. I know I could not live without her or her kids. They are a big part of my life now, and I would not have it any other way.

It is five in the morning, and I am waiting for Maddie’s text. I cannot wait to see them. They make my days better, brighter even. The kids are so full of life and happiness. Maddie is slowly breaking out of her shell; she is getting better.

I am proud of her, everything she has been through, and she is still fighting. Some people would have already given up, but not my girl. My girl, I like the sound of that. Hopefully, it will be true soon.

I have wasted enough time; I need to get out of bed and start my morning chores. I want to get them done before school starts. Feeding and checking the fences will have to be done before I leave. Good thing we take turns cleaning the stalls since all the horses are in one place, behind my house. It would take me hours with just that one job.

After getting ready for the day, I headed into the kitchen for coffee and a fast breakfast. I got the machine ready and started it. Getting a bowl and my favorite cereal from the cabinet. Sitting them down on the table and went for the milk from the fridge. Sitting at my lonely table looking around at the empty chairs while eating Luck Charms. This house feels so empty with only me here. I am missing Maddie and the kids; it is too quiet in this house without them.

I want them here all the time. I want them to move in here with me. I get a lost feeling inside me when she is not around. I would go to the end of the world for her, I would take a bullet for her. This is all a new feeling for me.

I finished my breakfast and washed my lonesome bowel and spoon. I filled my cup with coffee and tightened the lid on. Heading for the back door to go feed animals. Waiting for Maddie’s text will hopefully help me get motivated to get through till she does.

************

“Lucas!” Sofia yelled when she opened the front door. Seeing Noah and Emma in the small living room. There was only enough room for a couch and television. There were no pictures on the walls that I could see. It does not look like a family lives here.

“You ready for school?” I asked her, moving my eyes back to the little blonde girl. In her princess dress and small heels, she looks just like a real princess.

“Yes, but I don’t want to go." she replied, rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet.

“I am sure it will go by fast.”

“Mom is in the kitchen, come on.” She told me, pulling me in the direction of the kitchen.

“Lead the way.” I said, hearing a raised voice coming from the kitchen. They sound upset, over what I have no idea.

“Are you going to let her open the door for strangers? Have I not taught you anything.” I overhead a woman’s voice I did not recognize. It must be Maddie’s mom.

“I knew he was coming. He messaged me that he was here, so I let Sofia open the door. It is not a big deal.” I heard Maddie reply, before we got to the entrance. I can understand why she needed to get away from here last night.

“And what are you doing with this guy?” she questioned her daughter. I believe that is none of her concern. This is between me and Maddie, no one else.

“That is none of your business mom.”

“It is when you live under my roof.” I leaned against the door frame, waiting for Maddie to see me. Sofia, standing beside me tightening her hand around mine.

“I have got to get the kids to school.” Maddie said, turning my way and catching my eye.

“Why are you not at work? You didn’t tell me you had the day off.” Can she not see what she is doing to her daughter? I can see the anger and pain in her eyes.

“I took today off.” Maddie replied, removing her bag from the back of the chair.

“What about the bills?” Her mom tried again.

“Mom, it will be taken care of. By the way this is Lucas.” Maddie told her. “Lucas this my mom, Margret.”

“It is nice to meet you.” I told her mother. She looked me over with a distrusting look on her face. If looks could kill, I am pretty sure that one could.

“You ready to go, Lucas?” Maddie asked, walking over to me, and placing her hand in mine. “I will see you later mom.” She led me into the living room, to gather up the kids and headed out to my truck.

How could someone treat their own flesh and blood like that? I knew Maddie’s dad was abusive and unloving. However, I did not know her mom was like that too. So far, I know her grandparents loved and cared for her. Is that all she had? My heart hurting for the woman and her children.

“I am so sorry, Lucas. She can be a bit much.” She apologized as soon as I shut my truck door.

“Darlin, it is not your fault. I can see why you needed to go for a drive.” I told her as I took her hand in mine. “Don’t ever apologize to me for something that is out of your control. No matter what I have your back.” I kissed the back of her hand, refusing to let her go. I will always have her back even when she forgets, I will be there beside her.

************

We got the kids dropped off at school in time. They were unusually quiet on the drive over. I know they all heard Maddie’s mom, I can tell that it is affecting them, all four of them. They wanted to play hooky and stay with us, but we told them not today. I have a feeling she tells them that a lot, I give them credit for trying.

Glancing over at Maddie, she has her head turned looking out her window. Her alluring long hair was down, falling over her shoulders, and curtaining her lovely face. Hiding her eyes from me, the ones that show her true feelings. I knew she would be stunning, but I did not expect that I would lose all the air in my lungs when I saw her.

“Do you want to tell me what I walked in on?” I asked when we got away from the school.

“Mom, trying to control me as usual. It is nothing new.” She replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

“You should not have to go through that.” I told her, applying presser to her hand letting her know that I was here for her.

“I have been going through this all my life, Lucas. And when you have nowhere to go, sometimes you must do the best you can to make it to the other side.”

“Yes, but you don’t have to go through this alone, anymore. I want to be the one you turn to when you need anything.”

“Thank you, it will be difficult at first because I have been alone for so long.”

“I know Darlin, when you need a reminder, I will let you know.”

“What are we going to do today?” She asked, changing the subject. I can tell that it is hard for her to talk about her family.

“I thought you could keep me company as I work. And I want to talk to you.”

“It is never good when someone says, ‘they want to talk’.”

“No, nothing bad. I promise. I want to get to know you better, I want to know everything about you, Maddie.”

“I want that too.” She whispered, I noticed when she gets nervous, she also whispers.

“Okay, let’s start now. What is your favorite color?” I asked, starting with an easy question.

“Blue, I love all shades of blue except the darker ones. What is yours?”

“Forest green. What are your hobbies?”

“Crocheting, reading, and writing. I used to do those all the time, whenever I had free time.” She replied with a small smile.

“What did you crochet?” I asked curiously, I do not know many people who crochet. Granny used to before she passed.

“All kinds of things really. I have made the kids different things that they are into. I am not a fan of making blankets, it takes too long.”

“You will have to show me some of it.”

“You are actually interested in it?” she asked, shocked in her voice.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” I asked, wondering why she would not think I cared about it.

“People have told me that it’s an old lady hobby. I usually do not tell people that I can.”

“They didn’t know what they were talking about. What did you write? Poems, books?” I questioned, wanting to know every little detail.

“I have always wanted to be a writer, but I don’t have time to write anymore.”

“Is that your dream job? Being a writer?”

“It was a very long time ago.” She replied with a smile, leaving her pretty face.

“You know you can still do that. I have faith in you, don’t give up on your dream.” I told her, kissing the back of her hand as we headed down my driveway.

“Thank you, Lucas.” Maddie said, when I helped her out of the truck. I really need to get a step stool, or I could keep helping her. I like the latter idea better. The little shocks of electricity when my hands are on her hips.

“What for?” I asked, closing the door, and taking her hand in mine as we walked to my shop.

“For everything.” she replied squeezing my hand. I could get used to the feeling of my hand wrapped around hers. I could get used to Maddie being here every day with me.

“Any time Darlin. Have you ridden a horse before?” I asked curiously, I would love to take her riding.

“Yes, a long time ago. The last time was when I lived here.” She replied, looking up at me.

“That has been years. Would you like to go with me sometime?”

“Are you asking me on a date, Lucas?” A playful smile playing on her lips. Lips that I want to kiss again. Stopping in the doorway, I pulled her into my arms. It is taking everything in me not to rush anything with Maddie. When she is close to me like this, it is hard to even think. Our lips were only inches apart, holding her tightly in my arms.

“I am, what do you say Maddie?” I asked as our breaths tangled together.

“Yes.” Maddie said, leaning into me more, her hands planted on my shoulders.

“I was hoping you would say that.” I replied, looking down to her lips, then back up into her eyes. She did not give me time, she took control. Crashing her lips into mine, electric currents flowing from our kiss. I never knew a kiss could feel this way. Everything about this kiss, giving me hope, that one day Maddie would become mine. Everything she does causes me to react differently than my normal self.

“Wow.” Maddie whispered when we pulled away from the kiss.

“Yeah, that was....” I do not think that this feeling can be described with words. This emotion is deeper than any I have ever experienced.

“So, what is on your to do list for today?” Maddie asked, stepping into the shop. Putting some space between us, I do not like it. I want to be near her every second of the day. I want to touch her every chance I get, even if it is brushing our arms. I need her kisses; I need her in every feasible way. I have always thought that I would never get the chance to find a captivating woman who I have fallen in love with.

“Well, I got all the morning stuff done before I picked you up. Now we are wasting time till lunch.” closing the door behind me and flipping the lights on.

“What are we going to do until then?” Maddie asked, looking down at her hands. Walking over to her, I took her hand and led us over to the chairs. I do not want her to be afraid of me, I want her to know I meant just talk, nothing else. I need her to feel safe around me.

“We are going to get to know one another.” I told her, pointing to a chair. “You can sit here.” I took the chair beside her, still holding on to her hand. I never want to let it go.

“What do you want to know about?”

“Tell me something that nobody knows.” I pushed to see if she would tell me her deepest secrets.

“I have one, but it is hard to talk about. I will tell you, but I am not ready to go into details, yet. I have never spoken why aloud before.”

“Only tell me what you are comfortable with.” I encouraged her.

“I can’t have any more kids.” She rushed out, lowering her head.

“You don’t have to answer but I am guessing it was not your choice.”

“No, it was not. Will that be a reason for you not to date me?” Maddie asked in a muffled voice. I hate hearing the break in her voice.

“No, that is not a reason. You have three wonderful children. If you cannot have any more children, we will still have Emma, Noah, and Sofia. It’s not a deal breaker, we can always adopt if it comes down to it.” Hoping that I do not scare her off with the talk about the future. But I meant every word of it.

“I wouldn’t be able to give you a child.” She is worried about me, putting me over herself. Madison is a special woman and I want her to look through my eyes, to see the girl that I do.

“That is not a problem, Darlin. I have no issue with it. If it is just the five of us, I would be happy.” I reassured her. “When would be a good day for our date?” Changing the topic from kids.

“It would have to be after work or on a weekend. No matter what day I would have to find a babysitter.”

“If Bella cannot do it, I can ask my mom. I have a feeling you don’t want to ask your mom.”

“Not really, she would be telling me how all men are the same. I really don’t care to hear it.”

“Did your dad hurt your mom?” I asked, wanting to understand the situation so I can help.

“Yes, he did. He hurt all of us. I understand her trust issues, I have them. But not everyone is like my dad and Ethan. I have told her that too many times to count.”

“Did he hit y’all, Maddie?’ Not wanting to hear the answer.

“Yes, mom mainly but occasionally me and my brother.” She told me.

“I did not know you have a brother.”

“Yep, he is older than me. He took off as soon as he turned eighteen and has not looked back since. We don’t see or hear from him much.”

“I am sorry, Maddie. That must be hard for you, not being able to get a hold of him.”

“Honestly, we didn’t have a close relationship growing up. I am used to being alone and people letting me down. It is nothing new.” How could no one see how amazing this woman is. Her strength, her courage, her love and caring for people.

“Madison, I want you to know something.” I told her, getting up from my chair, standing in front of her, and got down to her eye level. Taking her hands into mine, every time we touch, I feel the sparks lighting up around us.

“I will never let you down, I want to be your rock. On the hard days, I want to be the one you turn to. I want you to be mine, I do not care if we haven’t been on a date yet. I know we have something special, and I want to see where this goes. I have a good feeling that we can make it together, just you and me.” I told her, moving a hand to the side of her face. “What do you say, Maddie? Will you be mine?”

“Yes.” She replied, leaning into my hand, closing her eyes. Sealing the deal, I covered her lips with mine. I will never get tired of this feeling of fullness, love.

The kiss was slow, not needy, or fast. The perfect kiss with a perfect girl in my eyes. I want her to feel the passion behind this kiss. This one tells her everything I feel, my love for her. My want and need for this precious woman.

************

“Do you want me to take you to work and get the kids off to school tomorrow? We don’t know if he is here or not.” I asked Maddie, as we waited for Emma. Noah and Sofia, in the back seat, being good kids. No screaming yet, but I have a feeling she will before I drop them off. We dropped her car off at her house before picking up the kids.

“I think we will be fine; I will keep my eyes and ears open. If I feel uneasy or uncomfortable, I will get a hold of you.”

“Promise me that you will be careful. I cannot have anything happening to y’all.” I told her, as Emma came running out of the building heading straight for us. I cannot stress enough about their safety.

“I promise, Lucas. I will be careful, and I promise you will be the first person I call.” She reassured me.

“Just so you know, I do not like this plan. It would be no trouble on my end.” I told her.

“I know and thank you for caring about us.”

“I will always care about you, Maddie.” I told her, and that is the truth. I will always care about her and the kids. They are my universe now and I will not let anything happen to them.

“And I care for you, Lucas.” She replied with a small smile.

“I was thinking, Friday y’all can come over for supper. Just us, and the kids. We can cook together while the kids play. After we eat, we can watch a movie and play a board game. How does that sound?”

“That sounds good to me. Why don’t you ask the children.”

“What do y’all think about going to my house Friday?” I asked the kids, shutting off my truck, and turning to face them.

“Yes!” Sofia screamed, drowning out Noah and Emma’s replies.

“It is settled, I will pick y’all up after school and we will have a fun time.” I told them, as we all climbed out of the truck. “Hey Emma, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked, noticing Maddie giving me a concerned look. Looking directly into her eyes, I nodded my head to let her know that it was okay.

“Yeah.” Emma replied, moving to stand beside me.

“Let’s go.” Maddie herded the younger two into the house, shutting the door closed behind her.

“Can I put my number into your phone? I want you to have it in case of an emergency. I will be here for you and your family. Do you think you could call me if something happened?” I asked the girl, who looks just like her momma.

“Yes.” She said, handing me her phone. I put my number in and gave it back. I want her to have it in case Ethan shows up and Maddie cannot get ahold of me.

“I want you to message or call me any time.” I told her, being as discreet as I could about the Ethan problem.

“I will Lucas, you can count on me.”

“Good. Let’s go in so I can tell everyone bye.”

“Come on.” Emma said, taking the lead to her house.

************

What I would not give to protect this sweet family. A family I want to take care of and never leave. Leaving them even for a few hours puts a heavy weight on my shoulders. This little family has become my everything, the reason I smile, the reason I get up every morning.

Walking away from Maddie and the kids is one of the most difficult things I have done. I hope they will be all right while I am away. I know I will see her tomorrow but that is too far away. I wish this were easier but that is not how life is.

I know Maddie can take care of herself, but it does not change the strong pull inside of me. Pulling me to her, needing her beside me. Needing my house full of love and laughter. I need it to be this family that is wrapped around my finger.

Today has shown me exactly what I want in my life, and I will do everything I can to keep them. I know they need me just as much as I need them. Everything reminds me of them, every little thing. I would not change anything about this path that I am headed on. If it led me to Maddie and her family, that is all that matters.