Delicious Zeal

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

QUINOA, The Ancient Grain Desert

Kendall looked out the window of the Gourman cruiser. The brown sands of the desert below glistened in the heat of the day. The expansive dunes were quiet.

Kendall was glad for quiet. Just a few hours ago, the desert was at war—him and the Vegans, the sand Gourmans, the ancient grains, and that crazy provolone.

Things were just getting weirder and weirder, like his whole reality was going through a sausage grinder.

He felt a cool, air-conditioned breeze on his face, turned around and took in the ship.

Much better than that TV dinner blimp.

It had originally been designed to carry cargo, but the interior was empty, leaving a lot of room for everyone to find a space.

Brocc was lying on a bed of crates, taking a nap; Celerity and Geoffrey were playing cabbage rummy; Lady Duxelle and King Carrodias were at another window, looking out over the sands.

In the conical-shaped bridge, Frank piloted the ship.

“How you doing over there, Frank?” Kendall asked. “Need me to take over?”

“I'm fine, buddy.”

“You sure? I can fly this thing, I know it. Controls are much easier. I could—”

“I got it,” Frank said. “Why don't you take it easy?”

Kendall sighed, then snapped his fingers.

“Dang, man. I want to carry my weight. I just feel useless, like I should be doing more.”

“You've done enough,” Frank said. “We wouldn't have gotten this ship without you.”

Brocc, who was laying on a set of crates, waved a hand.

“Relax, Kendall,” he said. “It's called re-energizing.”

“I thought you were asleep,” Kendall said.

“One eye open,” Brocc said, opening an eye. “One eye open, Kendall.”

Then he closed the eye and put an arm over his face.

Kendall still wanted to do more. Ever since he'd found the human settlement, Moderation, he'd wanted to keep fighting.

He was on a streak, and he wanted to keep going, punch those processed foods in the throat and teach them for fooling him!

He snapped his fingers again and strolled over to Celerity and Geoffrey, who were still playing cards. An unlikely pair, they were engrossed in a game.

Kendall grabbed a crate and slid next to Geoffrey.

“Ha haaa, what's up, people? Need ‘ol Kendall to show y’all how to play this game?”

“Quiet,” Celerity said. She drew a strawberry joker and threw it away.

“I'm calling cabbage,” she said.

She slapped down a set of kings down on the floor, followed by a run of two through eight, and a pair of queens.

“Pity,” Geoffrey said, revealing a set with a four of cabbage, four of asparagus, a four of endives, and a four of spuds. Then he laid out a set of deuces.

“How the hell!” Celerity asked, frustrated.

“My, a pleasant turn of events,” Geoffrey said, smirking.

“You sure you don't play that much?” Celerity asked.

“I assure you that I had more important things to do as the Chief Scientist at the Nutrizeen Labs.”

Kendall looked at the cards.

“Damn, girl,” he said. “Geoffrey steamed you.”

“This game really is one of deduction, fortitude, and that grand sport of all sports: arithmetic,” Geoffrey said.

“You counted cards!” Celerity said.

“It's not illegal, my dear,” Geoffrey said.

“I couldn't count even if I tried,” Kendall said. “But you're a genius. What's it like to have all that intelligence in your head?”

Geoffrey shrugged.

Kendall clucked his tongue.

“I bet if we opened up your lid, there'd be a bunch of IQ points, scientific theorems, mathematic equations, and a bunch of bananas. Ha ha haaaaa!”

“The bananas part is apt,” Geoffrey said, “but you are quite mistaken about the other contents that are swimming about in my head.”

Kendall scratched his temple. “Uh, there's something that's been bugging me and I gotta know the answer.”

“Ah, the grains in the desert. I suppose I owe you a thorough explanation, don't I?” Geoffrey asked.

“Not that.”

“Caulette, then? The super food conundrum is rather troubling.”

“Naw, I think I'm good on that.”

“Then what?”

Kendall started to speak. Then stopped. Then started. Then stopped. He leaned over, then started. Stopped. Scratched his temple. Said “uhh” a few times.

“You're a banana shake,” he said finally. “And your wife is a strawberry shake. How come your daughter is a mint chocolate chip shake and your son is a graham cracker shake?”

Celerity laughed. Even Frank in the cockpit slapped the dashboard and let out a loud cackle.

Geoffrey rubbed his lid.

“Well, erhm…Kendall, the genetic variance in milkshakes is greater than the rest of the Gourman population, which accounts for the differences you see.”

“Genetic variance?” Kendall asked. “No idea what that means, man. But all right, I'll take it.”

“How else can I explain this,” Geoffrey said searchingly.

“Naw, I got it,” Kendall said.

“You do?”

“Just another case of voodoo science,” Kendall said. “If there's one thing I've learned about this world, is that there ain't a damn thing that makes any sense. I'm startin’ to get okay with that.”

“Atta boy,” Brocc said.

Celerity stacked the deck. “Wanna play, Kendall?”

Kendall almost fell off his crate.

“Whoa!”

“What?” Celerity asked.

“Did you, Celerity, just ask me, Kendall Jerrod Barnes, to play a game of cabbage rummy?”

“Yeah, so what?” Celerity asked.

“You barely spoke to me before,” Kendall said. “Now you are.”

“Fine. Don't play,” Celerity said.

“Naw, I'm cool,” Kendall said. “I don't feel like getting slaughtered by Geoffrey. No offense. Maybe next time.”

“Good,” Celerity said. “I can focus on exacting my revenge.”

She dealt Geoffrey a fresh hand, and the shake accepted the cards.

“It would be my honor to destroy you again, Madame Celerity,” Geoffrey said, bowing.

Kendall jogged to King Carrodias and Lady Duxelle, who were whispering.

Kendall pretended to whisper with them.

“Ssss pssss ssssssssssssss...”

The king laughed. Lady Duxelle frowned.

“Y’all plottin’ over here?” Kendall asked. “Damn. You been whispering for the last hour. Whatch’all talkin’ bout?”

“Everything, Kendall,” King Carrodias said.

“I’d like to know what's coming next,” Kendall said. “I know everybody here knows how to fight and all, but Monte Cristo scares the cheese out of me. That hotdog ain't no joke. That's the kind of dude that would slit a guy’s throat just for fun. Know what I mean?”

“Monte Cristo is just a symptom of the larger problem,” King Carrodias said. “But the vegetable kingdom is strong. We will resist him with every fiber of our bodies.”

“Sure hope so,” Kendall said, looking at Lady Duxelle. “Hey, I don't think we ever had a formal introduction—”

Lady Duxelle shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, human,” the mushroom said. “Now if you don't mind, we’re busy.”

Dang.

Mushroom lady was fierce. With her shiny armor and sword and menacing demeanor. You didn't want to cross her. Celerity was fierce, too, but Lady Duxelle was a soldier kind of fierce. Kind of chick that wouldn't think twice about spearing you if it was for justice.

He tiptoed away, looked out the window again.

“Frank, you sure you don't want me to fly?” Kendall asked.

“Still sure,” Frank said. “Kendall, why don't you take a nap?”

“Please,” Brocc said. “You're wandering around the ship like a lost puppy. We need some nice and quiet.”

Kendall said nothing. He returned to the window. Outside, the ship was sailing over the brown sands quickly. The terrain grew rocky and full of cacti. Then they passed over a blue river that snaked through the valley.

And then, an in instant, they were over a mountain range, with short mountains covered in trees and jícama boulders.

“Out of the desert, baby!” Kendall said. “Adios, heat!”

“What a relief,” King Carrodias said.

Kendall watched as the mountains overtook the windows.

Quinoa, the Ancient Grain Desert, was behind them now.

The place where humans and vegetables and processed foods lived together. Together!

Man, he still couldn't believe that.

He remembered Neal Kresge, the leader of Moderation. He seemed wise. Like he'd seen a lot of things. So did his bell pepper friend Phil.

Kendall wished he was that wise. Maybe one day he'd start a settlement of his own. He'd be a shepherd to a wandering flock of humans.

He thought about New Eaton and all the humans trapped there.

According to Geoffrey’s book, they were trapped in every sense of the world. Physically. Emotionally.

He felt for those people.

He'd been one of them.

And now he was here, among friends, and the future was up to him.

He put his fingers on the glass and rested his head on it, glancing at the tree-lined mountains.

“Future’s up to me,” he said.

“Gang, we’re coming up on Ginger Rock in a few minutes,” Frank said.

Brocc sat up and stretched.

“Good work, Frank,” he said. “We’ll want to avoid the Gourmans.”

“We’ll have to sneak back into the kingdom,” Lady Duxelle said. “I recommend that we do it secretly.”

“Agreed,” Brocc said. “Fly a few dozen more miles and then ease us into the trees, will you?”

“On it,” Frank said.

“You all right, Kendall?” Brocc asked.

Kendall grinned.

“The future is up to me, so based on that, I'm all right!” he cried.

Brocc stared at him.

“You're killing me,” Brocc said.

Kendall grinned again. “I'm not going anywhere, so get used to it.”

Kendall watched as Frank steered the ship downward into a clearing in the trees.