~~~
I took deep breaths as I walked upstairs, trying hard to block out all resurfacing memories of tonight. I finally made it to my room, welcoming the darkness that's with it.
Maybe tonight was a dream, maybe I'd wake up and everything would be back to normal with Bryce, deep down I know it isn't, it's never a dream.
Nothing can go back to normal, I caused him pain, I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to hurt myself the way I hurt him. I set my eyes on my known tool for inflicting pain on my skin.
It actually doesn't hurt anymore.
Maybe if I cut deeper, harder. Maybe I'd feel pain. Maybe just maybe I'd be so focused on the physical pain, I'd stop hurting emotionally.
I lazily took the pocketknife from my table, sitting on my bed. I took a deep breath, bringing the knife to my wrist.
Th
