𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

𝗙𝗜𝗧𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬

Unni was watching a soap commercial on TV. A young woman in a short dress leaped into a forest river. "Wow! Look at those taut muscles, Lord!" he exclaimed.

Just then, his wife Devu rushed in, flustered.

"Unni, look at my face for a second!"

Unni didn’t hear her.

"Are you even listening?"

"I am! Very closely. If I’m going to watch something, it might as well be this soap ad. Back in the day, we had to peek at such things from bathing ghats. Now we watch them in our living rooms. Ah, the wonders of technology!"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Weren’t *you* asking about the TV ad?"

"TV ad? Nonsense! I asked you to look at my *face*!"

"What’s the point of staring at your face now? You should’ve paid attention when we were getting married. Too late for regrets!"

"Then just abandon me! I won’t complain," Devu huffed.

"Who said anything about abandoning? I was just joking!"

"Joke? More like your true feelings slipping out!"

"Enough! I’ll slap you—"

"Wait! Why did you want me to look at your face?"

"I’m aging, Unni! Today, some girl called me *Aunty*!" Devu sulked.

"You’re still my little Devu! People call others *Aunty* or *Uncle* to feel younger themselves. Let’s just ignore them. We know we’re young!"

"Really?

Yaa.....A forty-year-old called *me* ‘Uncle’ the other day!"

"What?!"

"I was standing there, all dressed up, and this *senior citizen* called me ‘Uncle’!"

"And?"

"And... I forgave her. It’s just a word. You should too."

I can’t! I’m only 32!"

"By tooth count?"

"No, by age! I’m still young. If I’d had a gun when that Gen-Z brat called me *Aunty*, I’d have shot her!"

"Yikes! That sounds extreme..."

"Just a slip of the tongue in anger!"

Unni frowned. "Wait, you’re 33, right?"

"Uh..."

"You just said 32. Did you shave off a year?"

"Shhh! I’ve told everyone I’m 32..."

"Should’ve cut five years instead!

"Never!"

"But you look twenty-five!"

Devu brightened. "I know! But that *Aunty* comment shattered my confidence. No one should call me that again. I have a plan."

"A lawsuit?"

"No! I’ll freeze my age with diet and exercise!"

"Exercise won’t stop aging!"

"Look at Mammootty! He’s twice your age but looks younger. That’s the power of workouts!"

"Fine, start tomorrow. I like you youthful."

"What about *you*?"

"No one in my family ever exercised. My ancestors wouldn’t approve."

"Your belly’s jiggling! If you don’t start, even kids will call you *Grandpa*! Join me for a jog tomorrow."

"No!"

"Then I’ll lock you out!"

Unni yelled toward the family temple: "Betrayed by my own gods!"

---

The next morning, Unni collapsed after jogging through trails and streams. Devu bounced in.

"Sleeping after a jog? That’s pointless! Drink this orange juice—it’ll help!"

Unni woke with a yawn. "Jogging is pointless. Whether we run or not, we’ll age. Better not run!"

"Nonsense! Exercise slows aging. After thirty, time races! Without workouts, you’ll be a haggard old man by forty!"

"Stop reading those women’s magazines! They’re full of lies!"

"I can’t stand being called *Aunty*! I need to focus on my health!"

"Focus on *your* health. Leave me alone!"

"I won’t live as a young wife to an old man! *You* stay young too!"

Unni’s mom eavesdropped and muttered, "This jogging nonsense! Prancing around like a goat... That hussy will ruin my son!"

Devu said:"Let’s eat breakfast. Chapati"

"Chapati?! Is this a prison? I hate wheat!"

"Ever wonder why Haryana and Punjab breed wrestlers? They eat wheat! It builds strength!"

Unni stared at his plate. "Two chapatis? I’ll starve!"

"Moderation is medicine; excess is poison."

"These magazines will be the death of me!" He shredded one angrily.

--- ..... ........ ......... .......

When Devu returned from jogging, her friend Latha was waiting.

"Where’s Unni?"

"He vanished halfway.

Devu, you’ve lost weight!"

"8 kilos! How do I look?"

"Amazing!"

Unni’s mom interjected: "Jogging turns men into wanderers! Soon he’ll ditch you for the woods. That hussy Jasmine and Meera are already circling him!Your husband’s too handsome now. Girls flock to him. Guard him like musk deer—or crows will snatch your treasure!"

Devu laughed it off until a call came: Unni was seen jogging by the river with *two women*.

Devu panicked. Lata advised: "Let him gain some weight. Stop the juices and workouts. Protect your marriage!"

Devu shredded a women’s magazine, vowing, "No more orange juice or saffron milk! Let his belly grow!"

Lata approved: "Smart! Better a chubby husband than a stolen one."

Devu tore up a women’s magazine and tossed it skyward.