What Loving You Cost Me

Chapter 4- Divorced,Baby! Divorce

Elizabeth

The three of us sat down for dinner. I had spent the last hour in the kitchen preparing everything while Hayley explored the house with Daniel. Now she sat across from me, smiling like we were old friends.

Daniel’s was quiet, his eyes moved between us with an unreadable expression.

Hayley picked up her wine glass and took a sip. Then she looked at me with her head tilted slightly.

"I have to ask," she said, setting the glass down. "How come Daniel never mentioned you were married?"

My hand stopped halfway to my water glass. The nerves kicked in immediately.

Nothing came out.

I did not know what Daniel had told her or what I was allowed to reveal.

Hayley pointed at my hand. "The ring."

I looked down. My wedding ring was still on my finger. I had forgotten to take it off in all the chaos of the morning.

I pulled my hand back quickly and slipped the ring off. My eyes darted to Daniel whose eyes looked like they could kill.

I forced a smile at Hayley.

"Yes," I said. "I am married. Actually separated. We have been separated for over a month now."

Hayley's face softened. She reached across the table and touched my hand.

"Oh, I am so sorry," she said. "I did not know."

I shook my head. I kept the smile on my face even though my heart was pounding.

"Do not be sorry," I said. "I do not even know why I still have the ring on. Old habit, I guess."

Hayley nodded slowly. She looked at me for a moment longer, then picked up her fork and turned to Daniel to ask him something about the project.

My hands shook under the table as I stared at the jewel on my laps.

I did not put it back on.

I went to bed early that night. I did not want to see either of their faces anymore. I lay in the dark for a long time. But for some strange reason, I did not cry. The tears did not come. I did not feel the urge to get up and pick the ring up from where I had left it on the dresser. I just stared at the ceiling until I dozed off.

Morning came faster than I expected. I woke up late than usual.

I got dressed and walked downstairs. The smell of coffee and eggs filled the kitchen.

Hayley was cooking. Daniel sat at the table with a mug, already dressed for work.

Hayley turned to him and smiled. "You need to eat more before you go."

"I am fine," he said, standing up. He picked up his briefcase from the chair next to him.

I stood in the doorway. Neither of them had noticed me yet.

Hayley walked over to him and fixed his collar. She did it so naturally, like she had been doing it for years.

"Love you," she said.

"Love you too," he replied. He kissed her forehead and walked toward the front door.

Hayley turned back to the stove. She still had not seen me.

I watched her for a moment. She moved around the house so comfortably. Like she has always been here.

And I felt it. The pain was there, eating at me from the inside. But I did not react. I just stood there and watched.

It felt like I was finally coming to my senses. Like something in my head had shifted. I had been so stupid and blinded. For four years, had begged for scraps of affection from a man who had none to give.

And now, some other woman was getting the version of him I had always wanted. Not because she was better than me. But because I had been too blind to see that he was never going to change.

It had not even been a full day since Hayley arrived.

Just a day and that was all it took for me to see my husband clearly for the first time.

Maybe Hayley was exactly what I needed.

Not to take my place.

But to show me who I had married.

We spent the entire day together after Daniel left. Hayley suggested we have breakfast together and I did not have the energy to say no.

She talked a lot. About the city, her work and about a photoshoot she had done last week that went wrong because the photographer was terrible.

I found myself actually listening and not just nodding along like I usually did.

She asked me questions too. Small ones at first. What kind of music I liked. Whether I had always lived in this house. What I did for fun.

For fun. I almost laughed at that. I could not remember the last time someone asked me what I did for fun.

By the time lunch came around, I realized something. I was enjoying her company. She was so nice and so sweet. She laughed easily. She listened when I spoke and did not look at me like I was something pitiful.

And that made everything worse. Because she did not deserve to be lied to.

She had no idea that the woman she was having lunch with was not Daniel's half sister but his wife.

The question that changed everything came after lunch. We were sitting in the living room. She had her legs curled under her and a cup of tea in her hands. I was on the other end of the couch, pretending to be comfortable.

"So what do you do?" she asked.

I blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"For work," she said. "I told you I am a model and a business mogul. That sounds so arrogant when I say it out loud. But you know what I mean. What do you do?"

I looked down at my hands.

"I am a housewife," I said softly.

She did not say anything for a moment. When I looked up, her face had changed. She did not look angry. She looked confused. Like I had said something that did not make sense to her.

"A housewife," she repeated.

"Yes."

She set her tea down on the table. "Elizabeth, can I be honest with you?"

I nodded. I was not sure I wanted to hear what she was going to say, but I nodded anyway.

"I do not like that," she said. “You don’t look like someone who’s meant to stay stuck at home."

I felt something in my chest loosen. Not because she was wrong but because she was the first person in four years who had said it out loud.

"I don’t think like it either," I said. "But my husband insisted."

She shook her head. She looked genuinely bothered by it.

"You are separated now," she said slowly, like she was working through the thought as she spoke. "Maybe this is the time you get your life together. Do something for yourself."

I said nothing.

"Just to prepare yourself," she continued. "Just in case there is a divorce. You need to have your own thing. Your own money. Your own something."

I stared at her.

She had no idea that the man she was engaged to was the husband she was telling me to prepare to leave.

And yet, she was right.

I had spent four years waiting for Daniel to love me. Four years making myself small so he would not be annoyed. Four years believing I had nothing without him.

Maybe Hayley was not my enemy.

Maybe she was the wake up call I did not know I needed.

Hayley was quiet for a moment.

she reached out, her fingers brushing my arm as she laughed softly.

“You know, Elizabeth… maybe it’s a good thing I’m here right now,” she said. “I feel like I came into your life at exactly the right time.”

She paused, her expression shifting from playful to observant. I felt her eyes scanning my face, and I suddenly wanted to look away.

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings," she said gently, "but you aren't exactly great at hiding them. I can tell just by looking at you... you’re not happy, are you?"

The bluntness of her words hit me deep.

I had perfected the art of the obedient mask, yet within twenty-four hours, this woman had seen right through it.

Before I could stop them, a tear slid down my cheek.

I wiped them away quickly,but she noticed.

Hayley's eyes widened.

"Oh no," she said. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry, Elizabeth."

I shook my head. I tried to smile but my face would not cooperate.

"I’m so sorry. It’s just... when I get comfortable around someone, I tend to speak way more than I should.” She said quick. “That’s the curse of being an extrovert. I’m just way too straightforward, and honestly, sometimes I hate it about myself."

She pulled me into a heartfelt hug.

I sat there for a moment. Then I hugged her back.

"It’s fine," I said. "It’s fine."

And for the first time, I meant it. It was fine because I wasn’t pretending.