It Was My Fault
1984 Words
"I have this fear of losing you, so each time someone courts you, my entire system freaked out and i became possessive... because the truth is, I am a very jealous person"
When Alyssa stepped out of the taxi, he saw a man standing in front of her gate and he was like patiently waiting for her.
She was hesitant to move at first, but she had no other choice but to go in. And the moment he saw her, he immediately walked towards Alyssa.
She was planning to give him a warm hug, when he got close. But she got terrified the moment he abruptly grabbed her arm. It was too tight that she could feel the burning sensation on her skin.
She tried to get off his grip, but the more she tried to loosen up...The tighter it got and he was actually hurting Alyssa without realizing it.
Marcus continued to drag her inside her house, and as she struggled- she was looking at his face. His demeanor was really scary, his gaze was piercing through her soul like a sharp blade.
He has never been mad at her, and she has never seen him like this furious too.
She was calling his name and begging him to stop forcing her, but it seems like he has gone deaf that he couldn't hear her voice crying out loud.
"Marcus, please let go of me, you are hurting me." She cried in pain while being forced.
"Marcus! Please!" Pulling her arm badly to escape.
"Don't do this!" Repeatedly she begged.
The minute they reached the front door, Marcus suddenly stopped and raised his left arm to hit Alyssa on her face.
She knew that it would happen, so she quickly covered her face with her both hands and screamed out. "I'm sorry!" then she started crying.
Marcus stopped as he heard her weeping voice. He put down his hand and placed it on his side.
Then he started resenting.
"You know how much I tried to avoid things like these. I don't want to hurt you, neither to be mad at you" He yelled in anguish.
"But you always provoke me Alyssa."
Then she felt the sudden guilt took place in her heart, when he started blaming her.
"You are not the same girl I used to know!" he said in a pity voice.
"You never ran away from me Alyssa, rather...You ran to me whenever you were sad. Have you forgotten all that?"
He held his hair up against his forehead for a while when he closed his eyes to compose his self.
Apparently, Aly remained standing in front of him with her eyes looking away to hide her stubborn tears.
She couldn't stand seeing him on that state, because she felt sorry for him- and she hated herself for hurting the person who truly loves her.
Each time she go against him, a part of her regret that moment, for the fact that she knew she'll break him, and heaven knows - it was never her intention to give him heartaches.
It is just that...their feelings were not mutual in terms of having an intimate relationship.
While her tears were pooling inside her eyes, his voice lingered in silence.
"Do you still remember those days you hugged me, like you don't want to let go". His voice cracked down.
"And when you tell your stories, you were resting your head on my shoulder" a deep sighed slipped in his mouth.
"Even if I touch you... Cup your face and embrace you in my arms- you never object! You comfortably sleep on my chest, under my wings"
His heart was aching along with his body shaking out of disbelief.
And her tears rebelled, it fell on her cheeks without permission upon hearing the truth.
"I am your best friend! And to me- you are my one and only friend. How could you ran away and hid from me when all I want was to be with you that night?
Then Marcus started to cry like a pathetic boy, his fingers were curling. He got down on his knees and was embracing Alyssa's both legs, while crying and begging at the same time.
"Please, don't do this to me. Don't despise me! "He begged.
In the name of Love, he asked for some tenderness.
Alyssa felt the need to console him. Beside of being guilty, she knew that arguing with Marcus wouldn't solve the issue.
She needs to show him some affection so he will cool down.
After all, she was the one who put him on that state. No one is to blame but herself.
A part of her was telling her that she was wrong all along, the way she was treating him - but a part of her too- only stand for what she thought was right.
Her happiness matters, and that means falling in love with someone she likes.
So to make up with her mistake -she grabbed his both arms and tried to help him get up.
As soon as Marcus was back on his feet, she held his hands to aid his aching heart "Marcus, listen to me." her voice was appealing.
"I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, I must admit I was wrong when I ran away" she started explaining while she was gently caressing the back of his palm.
"I didn't mean to leave you behind. I was just scared that time to face you, since I made a mess in the bar and I didn't tell you where I was." the truth must be revealed, so she mustered up all her courage to confess her sin.
And he was like frozen in front of her...listening.
"Do you believe in me?" she asked and Marcus nodded without a doubt.
"Thanks for the trust" She replied. And before saying another word- she stroke the hair on his forehead away from his eyes and stare at them.
Then she found love. True love that was meant only for her.
"Thanks for loving me all these years Marcus. I can't promise to love you the same way, but surely I will try my best to at least make you happy.
His heart raced so fast and he seemed to be carried away. He started drying his tears the minute he came back to his senses.
He faced Aly with confidence after he gathered his courage. He held her hand and placed it over his cheek to feel the warm of her touch as he organize his thoughts.
"Aly, what shall I do to make you love me the same way? What must I do for you to long for me too?"
Alyssa was stunned for a few moment, she didn't expect him to ask her that question. She tried composing herself to deliver the perfect answer, but she couldn't find the right words and her silence, has brought frustration to him.
"Was it too hard to answer?" Marcus shook his head, out of disappointment.
"Please give me some time" She begged.
But Marcus couldn't wait much longer, for he wanted to make her his wife.
He wanted his hands all over her body as he devour her lips with hot kisses.
He wanted to be with her every day of his life, so he can protect her and show her how much he really loves her.
He wanted that to happen right away, and waiting was not his forte- because he was so impatient.
"Let's get married soon!" He exclaimed and Aly's eyes grew big.
Her heart started to pound faster than before.
He took Alyssa's hands and held it tightly close to his heart. "I love you so much. Please, let me love you." Her knees weakened, while her head spin, out of shock.
She wanted to reject him, but she doesn't know how. She wanted to say - "No! I can't" but those words didn't come out, rather... It just stayed inside her head.
It's driving her crazy, but Marcus doesn't seem to notice the terror that lies within her.
He grabbed her elbow and pulled her to his body. His hand was on her waist and the other one was resting at the back of her head, then he leaned over to rest his forehead against hers.
"Don't worry hon, you will eventually learn to love me as a man. I'm sure of that, because I will spend my whole life loving you." He mumbled as his tears rolled down on his cheeks.
"Just give me a chance, I'll pamper you like a queen."
A moment of deep silence captivated the night. No words can explain what was going through their minds.
You can only hear snow falling into the darkness. It was too sharp-It could rip your heart.
Alyssa deeply inhaled and let all the tension out of her system in a big blow, she cleared her throat before trying to send him off.
"It's already late Marcus, let's talk things over tomorrow when you pick me up at lunch." she held his hand on her waist and squeezed it gently.
"Go home and take a rest." then she immediately pulled her body away from Marcus.
But he held her back too fast that her whole body was plastered over him.
Their faces were just an inch away from each other that they could hear ones heart beating.
She swallowed hard as her heart skipped a beat, the moment he raised her chin up and leaned over his face across her lips.
He wanted to kiss her. He was going to kiss her... without hesitation.
He opened his mouth and move closely to her lips. But Aly didn't permit him to have a taste of her sweetness, so she immediately covered her mouth with her hand, and pushed him a bit to have such distance between them.
Marcus was surprised and he glared at her while she was covering her mouth.
"What? You can't even kiss me? His voice was rough and it scared her to death, but she pulled herself together and mumbled
"I'm sorry, I'm not yet ready for this!" her voice was edgy.
"Then when will you be?" he asked with a shaky voice, it seems like he wanted to cry again because she hurt her again.
"If I wait hard enough -will it makes any difference? Will you change your mind?" he was seeking for some hope in her words so his heart would be at ease.
But Aly didn't know what to reply, she remained quiet and her head was narrowed down.
Marcus was extremely holding his feelings so he won't explode again. His random thoughts was creating havoc inside of him and it was tearing him apart.
"Take a rest, I'll see you tomorrow" he gave her a slight pinch on the cheek and he smirked before leaving.
She sighed out of relief.
Luckily, Marcus didn't make a fuss out of her objection.
"That was embarrassing" She hissed and closed her eyes to erase the incident in her mind - but instead of forgetting that awkward moment, a different point of view came across her suddenly.
She thought...
Marcus was indeed a pleasing man. He is so attractive inside and out and no doubt that any woman who would get to know him will definitely fall for him.
If only they didn't grow up together, and shared so many things as friends. This wouldn't be so hard in the first place. She would probably fall for him and she wouldn't have that uncomfortable feeling towards kissing him.
To be honest, Marcus was really hot...And Alyssa was constantly appreciating his gorgeous features.
If only they didn't start as friends, maybe there would be a high chance for a different feelings to grow.
But since they have known each other since middle school, he was like a family to her.
- Writer
