I am Darling

My Sanity

I am Darling and I was Invincible. I could be invincible at times being with my loved ones but the moment they were taken away from me I felt so weak and becoming so fragile. I didn’t know where to start. My mind was perplexing. It has been three days that Daniel was missing. The police said they’d been doing everything to find him and searched every place that he could possibly go. Maybe it was time for me to take action. Police in our area had some clues and leads but they ended up with nothing. I have been waiting for new updates on the cases of Uncle Tim, Shawwie, Gwen, Coach Jim and even my Dad but they didn’t have any. I couldn’t wait much longer. Daniel’s life was in deep trouble and I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing when I knew I had a lot to share and do.

I was preparing to look for Daniel and no one could stop me. I didn’t come with Dad and company at the store. I stayed home for them not to know that I went looking for him. I left a note in the kitchen for Dad, Mom and Aunt Gracie and locked all possible entries of the house. I was worried but I had to be strong for Daniel. I went on directly to the place where he could possibly be hurt or abducted. I asked everyone living in the area if they had noticed or witnessed any untoward incident happened in the last three days and nobody had a positive response. I walked through the minuscule aisles of the place. I searched for empty houses and abandoned buildings and I scrutinized every person I come across with.

I happened to pass by the teeming people on someone who fainted just meters away from me. I immediately ran to them and I peeped over to see who was lying on the ground. I was terribly afraid to the reality of finding that it maybe Daniel’s body. To my surprise, it was Jessy. What was she doing here? Was she with Gab? Why did she fainted? I reached her hand and found she still had a pulse. I came to her and tried to wake her up but she was unconscious. I tried to carry her but I was still so weak that I couldn’t do it. I called for help from bystanders and they helped me brought her to the nearest clinic. After few minutes of waiting outside the clinic the nurse called me to get in. She had regained her consciousness. I saw her lying on the bed smiling at me and saying “Thank You for bringing me here. You always saved my life.” “No, Jessy, you are my friend and though you happen to be a stranger it’s still my duty to help you no matter what.” I replied to her. Though I had so many questions I tried to keep it to myself first and wait for the right time. “Can we go now?” She asked the nurse. “Yes, you may, just take the medicine the doctor prescribed.” The nurse said. We went out of the health center and I got the chance to ask her. She was behind me as we walk. “What happened to you Jessy?” I asked. “I don’t know, I just felt my head was spinning and there I fainted.” She replied. Though it was not what I meant I still managed to control myself. “What are you doing in that place?” I added. She just shrugged off her shoulders and I pretended not asking. I stopped walking and waited for her so I could talk right to her face but she made sure that she stayed behind me. But I could still glance at her and determine from her face whether or not she was lying. I suspected she was up to something. “Listen.. I have to go, I am looking for Daniel. He’s been missing for three days now and I don’t know where to look for him.” I told her. “Daniel is missing..? She asked unwillingly. I could sense she was hiding something from me and avoiding my questions. She may know Daniel’s whereabouts. “Have you seen him or you know the places he has been going?” I again asked. “N..N..No, I haven’t seen him for a long time now, H..he could be with his friends, y..you know.. Guys.” She answered. She was lying to her teeth. As we walk along the streets, we were going to the direction to where I always saw that old lady. I was about to ask her more when somebody from behind covered my mouth with a cloth with some foul odor on it. I tried to fight and loosen from those hands that were covering my mouth but I began to feel unconscious. I woke up in a bed. “Where am I? I asked. Then I saw my hands and feet were tied in every corner of the bed and nobody was in there except Jessy. She was sitting on a swivel chair and waiting for me to wake up I think. “Jessy, is this all your doings? What have I done to you? Why are you doing this? I was screaming at her. I was trying to release the ropes from my hands but it was too tight. I kept on pulling my feet but I couldn’t tear it. “Jessy untie me please, what are you doing, you are my bestfriend, how could you do this to me? I kept on begging. She was not responding but I saw tears falling from her eyes. Though she seemed to be deaf and numb, I can see the hurt from the inside. She maybe lost her mind. She was just looking at me pretending not to be feeling anything but I just couldn’t deny the deep down tension that was about to surge. She was just watching me wrestle to the rope as if she was so sure that I couldn’t make it anyway.

I looked at her and I remember the girl I had been with during the times I was in trouble. She was a dependable friend and a happy companion. I couldn’t ask for more from her not until this time. I shouted “JESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY! What are you doing? It’s me Darling. How could you forget our friendship and what have I done to you to deserve this?” I added, “It’s me Darling.. Look at me.. look at me.. it’s Darling! Whatever you’re into right now I could help you let’s do it together, just like old times..remember? Is it still you? JESSSSSSSSSSSY PLEASSSSSSSE!” I was screaming and begging her. Suddenly I was looking right through her face and I remembered someone from her. And that made me more surprised and horrified. My eyes were fixed on her and never even tried to wink. Then she talked, “You didn’t really recognize me did you? Were you really that stupid or just a numb little creature?” “I’d been waiting for this day to come.. now You! Look At Me!” She slowly wiped off her make ups, took off her wig and to my great surprise I recognized the real person that was in front of me now. I almost vomitted from that situation. I could never imagine such a moment would come like this in my life. I cried and cried and wanted to end my life from there. My screaming changed to calmness and sympathy. I almost had a breakdown. I wanted to hug the person tightly.. so so tight.

“You’re ALIVE ! .... I AM SO SORRY..I am so sorry.. please forgive me.. IF I COULD STILL SAVE THE GOODNESS LEFT IN YOU I would do it right here.. this very moment. I know that I deserve all of this, you can end my life today if you want but please spare my cousin Daniel. I don’t want more of my loved ones to be involved in my past wrongdoings. Please spare Daniel. He’s a good man. His family needs him. Uncle Tim is already dead. His mother is waiting for him.” I was pleading for mercy. My situation was so fragile. “HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU HUMILIATED ME MOST OF THE TIME IN FRONT of so many people? HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT CONCERNS me WHEN HOW MANY TIMES WHEN YOU HAD took ME for granted? HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT MY SITUATION when HOW MANY TIMES HAD YOU TOLD ME I AM STUPID?” AND THE SCREAMING WAS ALL OVER the place. THE Tears WERE falling from both of our eyes. “I am so sorry” was all I could say. My heart wanted to burst and my mind was boggling. “God knows how much I regret all I did to you and GOD KNOWS HOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GAB. I missed you so much and I never thought that you would be bringing the hate forever in your heart. BUT IF MY LIFE IS ALL IT TAKES TO EASE YOUR PAIN I would gladly give it to stop what you’ve been doing. I know I was the reason in all of these but Gab, you know what you are doing is not acceptable.” Just take my life now. Just promise me one thing.. you would release and would no longer harm Daniel. I was so sure now that he had Daniel. He never denied my accusations from the beginning. He was silent for few minutes but I could glimpse tears from his eyes were flowing like a river. Oh God what did I do to this guy. I would move heaven and earth just to see him back in my arms again and here he was, so near, yet a thousand miles away. “I LOVED YOU AND I ALWAYS DO but like all the others you never gave importance to my feelings.” He told me while screaming. I suddenly noticed the knife in his hands. It wasn’t the knife I was looking for. It wasn’t the one that has been used during the killings of all my loved ones. Was it him or not? I asked myself. “Yes! I admit it Gab I was an asshole.. but after I lost you I woke up from being a miserable personage to a sorry loser.. you’ve been with me as Jessy and you knew that I’ve been missing you since you left and how much I was sorry for all I’ve done.” I answered. I knew he was listening to me from his heart and I felt the most intolerable hurting that ate his whole being. He also knew that I really meant what I said because he knew me more than I knew myself. I was just crying there. I couldn’t fight anymore. I surrendered. I no longer begged to untie the rope. I already accepted my fate in his hands. HE SCREAMED AND CRIED LIKE A BABY AND MY HEART BROKE EVEN MORE. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. I could no longer stand the reality of pain I caused to this guy who gave me everything. I could no longer stand the fact that I’d been so rotten to this guy I called my life. I could no longer stand the adversity of once a great man but forsaken because of my selfish desires. If only I could bring back the time I would change humanity, only for him and give him all the love in the world.

I couldn’t stop crying and I almost lost my consciousness again because of the unbearable pain that gradually destroying my sanity.

There was silence and I was so tired that I didn’t noticed he got out of the room. I wondered where he’d gone and what was he gonna do next. I was alone for almost an hour. I fell asleep. I was awakened by a loud bang from the door. When it opened I saw Gab pulling someone on the floor from the outside. It was Daniel down on the floor, eyes had been covered, maybe so he couldn’t see anything and no doubt he was tortured because of so many bruises I noticed almost all over his body. Blood was coming out from his nose, his ears and even in his lips. His face was stinging. He may have wet his weary and ripped pants maybe because of the pain he suffered from Gab’s fuming hands. I screamed “Daniel.. Daniel.. Gab please stop this to Daniel, it is me you want.. I beg you Gab.. please!” I cried and begged again over and over. I was again trying to free myself from being tied up by pulling and pulling from my hands down to my feet but my strength was not enough. I tried talking to Daniel. “Daniel can you hear me? It’s me, Darling.. I’m gonna get you out of here I promise..” Daniel wasn’t responding. He looked unconscious. “Gab please spare him.. I beg you. Let him go. He needs medical attention. “AND NOW YOU’RE BEGGING? BEG SOME MORE.. COME ON.. BEGGGGG!” Gab shouted and screamed again. “YOU WANT THIS DON’T YOU? YOU ASKED FOR THIS AND I AM JUST GIVING IT to you.. BEGGGGGGGGGGG!” I again cried “PLEASSSSE.. PLEASSSE GAB, I AM SORRY.. I AM SORRY.. PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. How many times do you want me to say I am sorry? I know it wasn’t enough but I can’t turn back time Gab.. All we had is the present and I was, am and forever be sorry to you.” Gab was silent again. He may have listened or he may not. I was just watching him when he took a cloth from his backpack and covered Daniel’s mouth. “What are you doing Gab.. GABBBB?” He was not minding me and continue to what he was doing. He then pulled Daniel’s unconscious body again from the floor. “Gab.. Gab.. where are you bringing him? Gab.. please stop hurting him.. GAB PLEASE I BEG YOU.. GAAAAAABBBBB!” I cried and screamed over and over. I couldn’t do anything but watched him bring Daniel outside to where I couldn’t see.

It took him several hours to come back. When he came back I no longer saw Daniel but a plastic of food and water on his hand. “Where did you bring Daniel? What did you do to him.. what did you do to him.. DANIEL… DANIEL?” I shouted endlessly. I was trying to call Daniel hoping he could respond but silence was all over the place. “S H U T U P… S H U T U P! Gab exclaimed. “DO YOU THINK HE CAN HEAR YOU? HE’S NOT HERE ANYMORE and you should stop asking. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TREAT ME THAT way because I HAD BEEN GOOD TO YOU. I treated you as my princess and I gave everything, my time and my career just to be with you but what did you give in return.. NOTHING BUT PAIN. Maybe IT’S PAYBACK TIME and you have to pay CENT BY CENT. So you better S H U T U P.” He added. I couldn’t do anything but follow him. I just cried and cried for Daniel. I didn’t know what happened to him. Minutes later he came to me with those food in his hands. “Here.. open your mouth.. you need to eat.” He said in a calm voice. I was surprised by his actions but couldn’t help but worry about Daniel. He took the food and put it in my mouth and let me drink the water. While he was doing it I kept on looking at his face and said to him. “OH GOD.. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, I thought you were dead but here you are now. I long to hold you in my arms again. My life had never been the same without you and I know it was my entire fault. We could start over Gab.. I’ll help you.” I knew he felt awkward. He stopped and turned away. “If you thought you could fool me again you’re wrong.” He said. He then took some cloth stained with some blood on it and covered my eyes tightly. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING GAB? Please stop.” I cried again I tried pulling and pulling the rope from my hands and feet but I just failed from untying myself. “Stop what you’re doing, you’ll just get disappointed.” He said. “PLEASE GAB UNTIE ME.” I begged. I was groping him and I could tell that there were times he was back to his normal self then afterwards he was losing it. A little help could definitely heal what Gab had lost. “Now THAT YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, YOU COULD FORGET ABOUT ME FOREVER.” He added. Then I felt that he was leaving and went right through the door. “Where are you going? Please don’t leave me here. I must know if Daniel’s safe. What did you do to him? Please Gab I need answers.” I exclaimed. But he just continued on walking through the door as if he never heard anything of what I said. I had no idea where he went but I was again left alone still tied up on the bed.. Then quietness once again arose.

I didn’t know how long I was there alone in a room. I was left behind for days and I couldn’t see anything. I never had a clue where Gab was. He never showed up after leaving the last time. What was he doing? Was he planning on something? I had been in bed for days now and I couldn’t even move. My whole body was aching. I was starving. I was so weak. I felt I could die any moment. I remember that he just left the food just beside me but after days I could no longer eat it. I couldn’t even reach it. “HEEEEELP.. HEEEELP.. PLEASE HELP ME! ANYBODY THERE?” I was calling for help and no one was there. My voice couldn’t even scare mice now. All I could do was scream and cry and scream again but no one could hear me anymore. Was I really on this situation? Was anything of this true? I was left alone in this cold and dark room, tied up all over, blindfolded and so hungry. But deep inside me I said I deserve all of this. It was better that I would be the one to suffer instead of my loved ones. I started all of this anyway. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Daniel. Where was he? Did Gab kill him? Or let him ran away? But he was too weak already; he couldn’t make it if he was just left in the middle of nowhere. “Gab.. GAAABBBBBBBBB.” I shouted on the top of my voice. “WHERE IS DANIEL? What did you do to him? I traded my life for him but you never listened. How could you never listen?” I screamed again. “Now you’re leaving me here to death…. GAABBBBBBB PLEASSSSSSSE..!” I was so tired and weary. I wanted to sleep that moment.. sleep for a lifetime!

Suddenly there was a big bang on the door. I was surprised by noises coming from everywhere. I thought it was a bunch of police in uniform that showed up. Then there I heard the voices of Dad, Isabel and Christina crying and untying the ropes from my hands and feet and taking off the blindfold from my eyes. The light hurt but I was so glad seeing them all. “No one is here, but traces of food and trashes left behind by that scoundrel and she was being left alone. He was starving her to death.” I heard the police said. I could no longer open my eyes. I felt Dad was hugging and kissing me saying “I am so happy you’re alive.” But I was already too weak. I just whispered “Thank God you found me.” Then I was unaware of everything.

I woke up in a hospital bed few days after. “GAAABBBBBBBBBBBBB!” I screamed. I was hallucinating. Mom was there calming me down. She said “Calm down my dear, Calm down.. you’re safe now.” But I was still too weak. I almost couldn’t speak yet. “It’s alright Darling, you’re in the hospital now.” It was Isabel’s voice. “Be well Darling, Daniel’s recovering.” Christina said. When I heard it I immediately opened my eyes and asked her in a low tone “Where did you find him?” “Daniel was lucky he got into the hospital in the nick of time. He was left behind by a certain man just outside the Emergency Room of this hospital.” Christina added. “How did you find me? I asked. “It was because of Daniel’s pants. What’s odd was, in his pants doctors found a small paper with handwriting on it saying “AT ABANDONED BUILDING NEAR SOUTH” so we looked for you there together with the police. If you would ask Daniel he didn’t know about that paper.” Isabel said. I was again filled up by tears that just couldn’t stop flowing from my eyes. I knew it was Gab who left him there and the small piece of paper telling where was I. No matter what Gab has done, he has still that gentleness in his heart and he never failed to amaze me. Daniel said he was stalking Jessy when a struck in the head made him unconscious. He was brought somewhere with eyes covered with cloth and was tortured. He just gained consciousness in the hospital and he never saw who did it to him but he suspected that one of them was Jessy. Isabel told. “One of them? Why would he say that, how many were they?” I asked in a low tone because it was really hard to speak. “Yes, they were two or more according to Daniel but we have to ask if he had fully recovered.” Isabel added. “Stop the worries first my dear, you should rest to regain your strength.. Come on have a sleep.” Mom said. I closed my eyes and trying to realize that God is good all the time. He is just there protecting me and Daniel. I hadn’t told them yet that it was Gab who brought Daniel here and I don’t know if Daniel knew it but he has the right to know. But I didn’t know if I could tell them that it was Gab all along in the person of Jessy. I couldn’t tell them exactly about the truth because I knew they would hate Gab especially Daniel. How could I tell them that the person behind all the murders was the person I loved so much? How could I save Gab when everyone was trying to kill him? When in fact I was the one who pushed Gab to where he became and I was willing to sacrifice myself just to see him alive and well. But it made me wonder what Gab meant when he said before leaving the room that I could forget about him forever. Where did he go? Would he try to forget me forever? Would he stay away from me and stop the killings? But how about the accomplice.. Who was it or they? Was someone helping Gab? Or Was he really the killer? I didn’t know what to think anymore but I would definitely find it out.

But now that I knew that the man of my life was alive, I was inspired in doing better than my best to ensure safety of everyone including Gab. He had still a chance to change and he needed me on that process. I must convince him to go back to what he had left off. I knew from the beginning that there was still goodness left in him and I was right. He was just being blinded by the hurt he had suffered and the revenge that he had been planning against me. He may had suffered psychological disorder in his younger years but love was still the most powerful weapon I could bring to him. Good communication and acceptance was all he needed to hear. If I could pull out all those hate, anger and vengeance that were instilled in his heart a long time ago I would definitely do it. I must not give up on him. In the meantime I have to gather all my strength with my face off with Gab. I would find him for sure and had him surrender for his own sake. I wanted him to realize that killing wasn’t the answer for the pain I caused him. But if I would trade my life for him to stop the killings I would gladly do it all over again. This accomplice should not ever think of getting in my way because I would totally kill him if he meddles with my plan of saving Gab’s better future and mine. I didn’t care anymore who that could be but one thing for sure I would be in my best shape in confronting the man I used to and still love more than life could ever imagine. I placed it all in God’s hands.