In the arms of my father

9. War and losses

Valens POV

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A deep rumbling sound followed by an earthquake rips me away from my much needed slumber.  Bolting upright, I watch with wide eyes as Sebastian leaps from the bed in a fighting stance glaring at the door.

As I’m just about to tell him that it’s an earthquake when the sounds of screaming and the hum of electricity from the direction of the open window stops me.  I move to get out of bed so that I can see what the noise is all about, but am hissed at by Sebastian.

Seriously, he hissed at me!

“Oh shut up you stupid man-snake, I just want to see what’s going on!”  I agitatedly announce a deep frown lining my face with annoyance. 

“You will heed my will little wolf, stay in that bed!” he haughtily demands with a side of snobbery that rubs me the wrong way.

Quickly I remove the bedding from my body and stand up only slightly unsteady on my feet.  My body still feels like it’s not my own but I’ve finally healed and gained a considerable amount of strength since last I fell asleep in his arms.

“You will not control me, Bas.  That’s not how this works and the sooner you get that the better our non-relationship, relationship will go. ” I remind him in a tone of voice just as lofty as his, then I move towards the window to take a peek outside.

An angry hiss meets my ears before he earnestly begs, “Just promise me you’ll stay in the room while I go and see what’s going on.” 

The swoosh of the door closing behind him is the only sound I hear before the room is filled with silence.  Well okay then, he must not have wanted that promise after all I think to myself as I finally lift up the blinds to take a look outside.  

***EXPLICIT WAR SCENE***

The first thing that I notice as the afternoon sun shines merrily on the open fields and buildings around the hospital, is the people dressed in black combat clothing, some of their faces covered in black paint, all their heads covered in dark coloured beanies with various weapons in their hands or none at all. 

The second thing that I notice is that they are attacking anyone that they come across, gender and age doesn’t seem to matter to them.  I watch in abject horror as three of the black figures break away from the others to corner a running woman frantically pushing a stroller.  She's crying while her toned legs pound the pavement as hard and fast as she can, trying to get to a building next to the one that I’m in.  They catch her around the middle sending her flying harshly into the ground, the stroller miraculously stays the right way up still rolling along aimlessly.  

Two of her assailants pull the woman up and hold her tightly as the third saunters towards the stroller as it comes to a stop and reaches into it, he pulls his hand back quickly his hand now covered in blood and I only just then realise that he was holding a dangerous looking hunting knife.  My heart stutters in shock at how quickly everything is taking place in front of my eyes.  I feel a tear track down my cheek as I watch the baby’s mother scream and struggle to get out of the hold of her captors, while they in turn laugh in glee at the barbarity of their actions, in the gruesome actions taking place all around them.

I stand there frozen in trepidation as I witness the baby’s murderer step towards the mother and his friends, he licks the baby's blood from his red soaked hand, shakes his head vigorously in sinister bliss and with his eyes closed smiles in some sort of sick euphoria.  He opens his eyes and watches the mother's pale and anguished face with an evil grin.  Stepping directly in front of the distraught mother, he slides his knife over her face, stonily examining the look of pain in her eyes as she flinches trying to get away from the offending weapon.  Finally and without remorse, he plunges the knife into her chest so fast, I barely catch the action; all while peering deeply into her eyes, intensely searching for something that I doubt I will ever understand.

In the distance, I hear an animalistic mournful roar that shakes the ground and temporarily stops the combatants from their fight, then I see a man running towards the woman; it’s her mate.

It's enough to move me from my frozen state, I can’t stand still while my people suffer at hands of these fiends!  A plethora of extreme emotion engulfs my whole being, I’m not sure what I’m feeling, it’s all so mixed up and pulsing inside of me.  At the root of it all I discern feelings of fear and a desperate need to protect my Were people, pushing me into fight mode.

The fact that I’m still slightly weakened from my ordeal doesn’t enter my mind, I quickly go towards the standing wardrobe that I spy in the corner of the room.  Opening it, I’m pleased to see that my clothing has been brought over from home and quietly thank Manaia or Kara for thinking ahead for me.

Shedding the hospital garment as quickly as possible, another explosion of electricity rocks the ground making me jump slightly in fright.  Shoving on a pair of track pants and a t-shirt then slipping my feet into a pair of sneakers, I make a run for the door just as another explosion closer to the hospital causes the floor to shift, the walls to shake and plaster to fall from the ceiling.

The scene out in the corridor resembles one from a wartime horror movie.  Bodies are already piling up in various states of life, medical staff running around in panic, the lights have started to flicker on and off with the damages that the hospital building has sustained so far.

In amongst all the screams and crying from all directions, I can barely make out the shouts of orders.  

Deep in the pandemonium, I close my eyes trying to pinpoint the location of my father's voice.  It’s hard though, the sounds and heavy smells of sweating bodies, blood, and disinfectant is highly distracting.

Opening my eyes and grunting in frustration, I take a deep breath through my mouth and try once again.  After what feels like forever, I finally locate the sounds of my father’s heartbeat, he’s outside and from his elevated heart rate I know that he’s fighting, like the warrior king that he is.

In a flash I’m standing outside not far away from my father, who is now in wolf form taking in the macabre scene all around me.

So many more have fallen from the black figures than our own, now that the women, children and elderly are no longer in the way of the attackers.  Spying a fallen opponent, I decide to steal his beanie to keep my loose hair out of my face, I really should just cut the damn thing.

When I place the beanie on my head effectively shoving my hair inside of it, I gasp in wonder as the beanie magically adjusts to the size of my head and sits comfortably.  With no time to ponder the amazement of magic, I quickly jump into the fray.

Taking on opponents in hand to hand combat, using my skills to duck and weave, punch, karate chop and kick; trying to make it to my dad so that I can fight directly at his back since he’s alone.

When I finally reach my dad’s wolf, he has an opponent in his mouth chomping down hungrily with his sharp teeth.  He looks over his shoulder with large chunks of flesh and blood dripping from his jaw.  

“What are you doing, princess?  Get inside you’re still recovering!” he demands via mindlink.

Spying a figure dressed in black trying to sneak up at our nine (meaning 9 o’clock direction) I swiftly run to one of his fallen comrades to pick up his axe, twisting so fast and releasing the weapon aiming in the direction of the sneaky little bastard, effectively the deadly sharp axe cuts through his or her throat.  I watch in horror as the head detaches itself from the body, my eyes widen in shock at the fact that I am now a murderer.

“Valen!  Snap out of it, now isn’t the time!”  my father yells through mindlink.

He’s right, now isn’t the time to dwell on the fact that I’ve just taken my first life, there’s so many of them.  It’s like we cut down one only to be facing four more of the black figures.

There is a lull in the fighting for me, so I gasp in a few fortifying breaths hoping to gain some strength for my tired muscles and screaming lungs.  Then two more black covered figures come storming towards me - one male the other female, the whites of their eyes peering eerily at me with murderous intent.  I note that both of these ones have weapons, an axe and large hunting dagger in each of their hands.

Weaponless I instinctively place my feet apart, one foot in front of the other bending low with my arms outstretched, ready to deal some damage.  I can’t allow myself to be distracted by the feelings of horror and fear coursing through my veins right now. Taking deep breaths, I start counting down from ten in my head, willing my emotions to lock themselves away completely.  I just reach the number one when the male black clad warrior reaches me with his arm raised high brandishing the axe in a malevolent manner, the incarceration of my feelings coming at just the right moment for me to think of how to move my body strategically.

As his arm comes hurtling down toward me, I move my upper body to the side while aiming a fist to his kidney hoping that the strength of the hit will hurt enough to disable him for even a few seconds so that I can get the upper hand.

The satisfying sound of his painful grunt only gives me joy for a split second as I reach out to grasp and hold steady his axe wielding fist, while concurrently grabbing his other wrist tightly giving it a hard flick causing him to reflexively drop the hunting knife.  His head is almost level with mine so I rear my own head back then snap it forward to hit him in between the middle of his forehead and top of his nose.

Quick as lightning I let go of his weapon free arm, moving to grasp the axe in his other hand and using a strength I didn’t know I possessed, I wrench it free from his grip so quickly the speed causes my arm to swing wide around his body, the axe lodging itself in the middle of his back.  I get a glimpse of the blood that trickles from his nose and mouth before I turn to my eyes on the woman who is screaming like a banshee, her tiny legs propelling her closer and closer towards me.  

She’s a few paces away from me still so I let go of my hold on the axe and the arm of the now dead warrior and move to meet her head on.  

She has both of her arms raised, leaving her whole midsection open.  Classic rookie move.  She’s not a trained warrior and obviously has no business fighting here, but blood drips from the blade of her dagger, so I know that her obvious inexperience will not stop her from trying her best to kill me.   Quickly lifting my arms to chest height, I pull them backward as fast as I can, angling my body slightly backward and lift my foot in a strong forward kick, using the force of her own speed to hit her squarely in her sternum.

She cries out in surprised agony and as she sails backward through the air she loses her hold on both of her weapons.  The projection of her dangerous tools of destruction zooming toward me almost randomly. The knife flies towards my face and just as it’s about to hit it’s mark, I easily bat it away to the side, not caring where it lands.  I reach my right hand out to grab the still airborne axe just as the woman hits the ground in a haphazard heap a few feet away from me.  

Striding purposefully toward the woman writhing in pain on the patch of grass she landed on,  I prepare myself to deal a death blow when in the corner of my eye I catch the sight of my sister being overwhelmed by so many of our opponents, she struggles to make the swing of her arms knock anyone away.  Her desperation is evident on her tear stained and exhausted features.  Like she knows that she isn’t going to survive.  

My heart frantically thuds in panic as I take in the scene, then my feet spring into action before my mind can even catch up.  That’s my f*****g sister they’re trying to drag to the grave!

I didn’t realise how far away from me she is until I’m halfway to her.  Four whole football fields to go before I can pull those assholes off of her, even with my super speed strength its taking too f*****g long.  Tears of my own desperation prickle my eyes just as a flicker of movement on the outskirts of the horde attacking my sister gives me a little hope that someone close has come to her rescue.

That hope blooms into a feeling of relief as I realise that it’s our brother as he hacks his way through our enemies and seemingly from out of nowhere Brody joins the fray.  I continue to run towards them to help. 

Bolstered by the back up of our brother and my boyfriend, my sister's movements become more determined and sure.  Maybe they won’t need my help after all.

Just as that thought enters my mind, I watch in horror as one of the ‘black coats’ wielding an arbalest aims and lets loose an arrow for my sister while she’s distracted.  I raise my hand in the hope that I have developed some sort of psychokinesis ability that I’m unaware of, only to fail.  

I’m not going to make it.

Watching helplessly from my viewpoint a tear joins the sweat that is on my face, a sob is ripped from me as sorrow fills my heart.  A blur of movement pushes my sister away from the projectile of the flying wooden missile only for it to lodge in the middle of the naked bronze chest of Mikaera. I can’t tell how close it is to his heart from where I’m standing, but I’m guessing it’s pretty close. My eyes widen in horror as my feet skid to a halt so quickly, I almost trip over them.  At this point I’m unsure if the unsteadiness of my feet is due to the sight of my brother being dealt a deadly blow or because of the speed and sudden standstill of my now tingling feet.

My sister lands a few feet away from where my brother now stands staring at me in shock, his mouth soundlessly moving open and close.  He grimaces in pain and wrenches his eyes away from mine to take in the gruesome sight the weapon that’s deeply entrenched into his chest while rivulets of blood pours profusely from the wound.  

My breath catches as four more arrows are embedded into his chest, his body moving jerkily as each arrow hits their mark.  A mournful cry escapes from my mouth as my feet move towards my dying brother, I’m angry to realise that I’m finally doing what I couldn’t before, moving so swiftly that I feel like I’m flying.

Only now I’m too late.

Just as Mikaera falls I reach out to him, my arms connecting with his heavy body as we both fall to the ground heavily, the pain shooting up my leg a small price to pay in light of the terrifying events that is unfolding.  With one arm around his shoulders propping him up, the other arm hovers mid air, my hand waving useless over the arrows as they quiver with each laboured breath he takes.

I whimper helplessly, I don’t know what to do!  I don’t know how to fix this.  There’s so much blood!  Oh my goddess, the blood is everywhere!  Seeping into my clothes and clogging up my nose!  

Absentmindedly, I notice that Manaia followed by Brody are kneeling on the other side of Mikaera and I.  Manaia reaches out and takes our brother's hand into hers holding it to her mouth as she sobs loudly, in contrast Brody’s strained facial expression is stoic, almost cold as he holds himself tensely trying his best to stave off the un-shed tears that dangle on the edges of his bottom lashes.

At the gurgling sound coming from Mikaera’s mouth I rip my focus from the arrows and the heavy bleeding of his chest and look into the scared beautiful chocolate brown eyes of my baby brother.  And though tears are streaming down my face without a care, I force myself to smile at him.  I don’t know what that smile looks like because I can feel my lips shaking with grief.

“It’s okay, little brother.  Where you are going there is no more pain or hurt.  Only happiness and love.”  I try to assure him with a quiet jittery voice.

He tries to speak but can’t due to the blood that sputters from in between his now pale coloured lips.

“S-sshhh, little brother.  Don’t speak.  You were the best big brother in the whole wide world today and I’m so proud of you for protecting our sister.” I shakily tell him while my smile dips in sadness as I see his eyes droop a reciprocating tentative smile mirroring my own.

“We love you, little brother.”  My voice quivers as I weep out my agony.  Bending my head to place a gentle kiss on my brother's cheek for the last time, I notice that Manaia has bent forward to do the same.

“You can let go now, Mikaera.” I whisper brokenly in his ear.

In amongst the chaos of war my ears pick up the sound of a deep voice just as broken as mine mutter, “Fly high my bro.  Don’t worry, I’ll protect our whanau with my life.” (Whanau translated into english means family)

Gathering her strength, Manaia leans away from our brother and with a watery hiccup says, "Aroha ahau ki a koe, Mikaera. Mauruuru kua whakaorangia ahau e koe."  (translated to english - "I love you, Mikaera. Thank you for saving me.")

She then leans forward once more and with the tips of her index and pointer finger she runs them over the middle of his forehead, over his nose and mouth only to stop on the tip of his chin and encourages, "Haere ki o tatou tupuna inaianei. Kei te tatari atu koe ki a koe i nga wharenui o te Kingi, Kuini, rangatira me nga rangatira wahine o to taatau iwi a tetahi ra tuakana, ka tutaki matou ki a koe i reira ka kanikani ka kata ka kai i nga hangi katoa e hiahia ana matou." (translated to english - "Go to our ancestors now. They wait for you in the halls of the King's, Queens, princes and princesses of our people and one day brother, we will meet you there and dance and laugh and eat all the hangi we could ever want.")

My brother's face slowly relaxes from the pain he must be going through, his eyes conveying so much love, pain and sadness.  I watch transfixed as a single tear escapes and travels down his high cheek bone and with one last shuddering breath, my brother closes his eyes and leaves the corporeal world of the living.

Closing my eyes as if my body automatically wants to leave this world with my loved one, my best friend, my baby brother.  I hear a shrill and hysterical wailing sound and distractedly assume that the person making that god awful sound of grief must be Manaia.  She is his twin after all.

The wail goes on and on like the person omitting the sound has forgotten how to breath or like me, wishes that she would never ever breathe again.

I’m suddenly angry at the sound of her grief, I don’t care that she’s our sister.  She doesn’t need to make a sound so f*****g heart wrenching it makes the pain of my own loss more profound.

My body heaves as I take a shuddering breath and open my eyes, it’s then that I realise that it wasn’t Manaia making that horrible sound.  She’s buried her head into the neck of Mikaera sobbing a whole lot more quietly than I just did.

The anger I feel doesn’t dwindle away at this realisation.  No.  If anything the anger unfurls into a being that exists beyond the bounds aggression.  It breathes and revels in hatred all on it’s own, like malignance is all it needs to survive.  It builds itself up into an inferno that cannot - will not- be diminished or be put out.

I’m not sure what point they were trying to make by coming to confront us here in a place that’s virtually unknown territory to most of us.  Hoping to shake our tree so that a f*****g victory to them would fall out and smack us on the head.

Fuck off and f**k no!

They don’t get to do s**t but f*****g die for the sins they’ve just committed.  In my head, I know that we’ve suffered more than a few losses, but no one else matters more than the loss I feel for him.  They may have just taken the only person worth more to me than all of Were Nation combined, but I get to take their blood.  I get to bathe in the copper scented, sticky velvety texture of it for what they’ve stolen from me.

Dark anger fills my soul with a numbness so profound I can no longer feel anything else inside.  There is no joy, no happiness, no pain, no suffering, and I revel in the empty misery that lurks in the darkness.  A cruel twist to my lips darkens my face as my vision slowly turns to shades of black and an evil laugh rips through my lips with animalistic glee as I stare at the ashen corpse of what used to be my brother in my arms.  

The dark laugh spewing from my lips - though quiet - is enough to stop the sounds of battle from  those closest to me.  Both friend and foe, causing a ripple effect as warriors cease, battle sounds desist and magic dies. 

All except mine.  I am an empty shell slowly filling up with all kinds of f****d up blood lust and I’m going to make these mother fuckers pay for killing Mikaera.  Even if I die right along with him to make it happen.  Whatever it takes.

There’s this place right below rock bottom called hell, and I’m going to one day co-rule that pad like the boss ass b***h I am, but in the mean-time; I’m gonna be the best mother f*****g Queen in training the world has ever seen.  Starting today.

Distractedly, I hear a shocked gasp from someone in front of me followed by the heartbroken voice of Manaia loudly demanding, “f**k them up good, sister!”

The deep and scary laughter erupting from my mouth stutters to a gasping stop as I feel a painful pop deep inside my chest.  Similar to the sensation I felt when Snow was released from deep inside of me, there is peace within the pain - like something is being let loose to come out and play.  An energy that’s powerful and strong consumes my body so quickly that a trickle of fear for myself enters my thoughts, which is quickly dashed away as Snow whispers in my mind.

“Accept everything that you are, human.” she tells me in a soothing voice. 

I’m not completely sure what she means by that, but instinctively I know it’s in my best interests to trust everything that Snow tells me to do.

I close my eyes taking a deep inhale of breath hoping to connect to all the parts of myself that I know of but more importantly the hidden.  Suddenly the pain starts to ebb away leaving a feeling of hot powerful energy.

Rising gracefully to my feet and lifting my hands slowly above my head, I watch with a sort of detached fascination as all our enemies who are still standing, slowly rise into the air gasping for a breath that I refuse to allow them to have.  I slowly twirl in a circle taking in the sight of the estimated three hundred bodies floating in the air all around me as I let loose yet another diabolical cackle.  My ears pick up the muffled sounds of someone shouting, telling me that I need to stop, several pairs of running feet aiming for me trying to steal my vengeance.  But they’re too late.

Wetness trickles from both of my nostrils as a cold wind gently whips around me as well as Manaia and Brody who are still kneeling beside my fallen brother, it’s like we’re in the eye of a twister that’s just gearing up to be set free to mutilate the land.

I don’t stop.

“Lights out!” I whisper vehemently, a cold and cruel smile glances across my mouth as I hear multiple necks cracking coming from all directions.  So loud and deafening is the percussion, it echoes across the compound over and over and over again.  I watch in dark satisfaction as blood drips to the ground, trickling from every orifice of the magically hanged, gloriously raining down on the ground and painting the dirt a deep red.

One by one the bodies of the dead slowly drop to the ground and then speed up until it seems like they’re falling in groups.  The muffled thuds of their bodies hitting the ground is nothing compared to the splashes of blood flying everywhere as fatigue quickly smacks my body raw.  

Now I’m falling too, then there is nothing.