In the arms of my father

4. Awake

Valen's POV

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Nothing.

I am adrift in a void of nothingness and I'm not going to lie, the fact that I feel nothing is awesome because now I finally feel free.

Here in the dark, I don't feel any fear. Not like when I was younger and I used to ask my mother to please leave my night light on.

Or the kind of crippling fear that I felt when I was being abused by two men who weren't supposed to hurt me the way that they did.

Or the pain I felt every time Tiernan denied me the love that was meant to be mine.

It's peaceful enough in the shadows and I am so exhausted that all I want to do is give in to what my body is begging me to do, drift away into nothingness.

And so I let go.

_______________________________

I can hear sounds cutting through the darkness. It feels strange to my ears, so loud and piercing that I cringe at the peculiarity of it. I'm not used to it after the long silence that has encompassed me, it rudely jarrs me out of my state of unconsciousness causing a feeling of confusion to fill my body.

What's happening? What's that f*****g beeping noise all about? There are so many voices around me, all trying to talk above the other in order to be heard. But whose attention are they trying to grab? Who are they?

It's too much, I can feel the heavy palpitations of my panicked heart. It's beating too hard, way too fast, making me feel like my body is moving with the motion of each beat. I try to open my eyes, but they're just so f*****g heavy, they don't obey my need to move them at all.

My heart beats faster still.

I try to move my leg, wanting to get away from the voices that I don't recognize, I don't even know if it's working. I can't feel s**t and that's when true fear kicks in.

Debilitating fear has me firmly in its grip.

Oh my goddess, I'm f*****g parazlyzed! What the f**k?

Come on...you can do it, just open your eyes a tiny little bit.

But I can't do it no matter how hard I try, now I'm really worried that something is seriously wrong with me!

My whole body hurts, it feels like someone threw a bomb at me and detonated it while I held it to my sternum. That must be why my lungs are no longer working properly, my lungs or my legs, or my eyes.

I can hear someone demanding in an authoritative voice for someone to leave, followed by a multitude of angry shouts and voices, that makes me want to cry.

I'm so scared right now.

I can just feel a hand lightly take a hold of one of my hands, and then a voice that I barely recognize talks quietly to the right of my head, while another warm hand glides along my cheek.

"It's okay, Little Flower. I know that you can hear me, baby. You're safe, no one will hurt you like that ever again!" it's a man's voice. Hearing it makes me feel really sad and happy at the same time, it's a peculiar feeling.

His hand glides over my face again and then he says, "Don't cry. Open your beautiful green eyes for me please. Open your eyes, Little Flower." His voice sounds choked up with emotion now, which makes me feel really terrible. Why is he sad? Who is he?

"Please!" his voice breaks off on a sob, that makes me want to cry along with him

So I gather some determination and try to open my eyes, for this man who obviously cares about me very much. After a few more strenuous attempts to open my eyes, I finally feel them flutter gently, "That's it, Little Flower. Come on beautiful, you can do it." the male voice says encouragingly.

Feeling a strength fill me with his words, my eyes finally flutter open, it's enough for the darkness to lighten up the tiniest bit, but that's all. That minute action is enough to steal all the strength from me, leaving me more exhausted than I've felt in a long time. I can't do it.

I give up, until then there is nothing, once again.

I like nothing.

The Nothing can't hurt me.

The Nothing is safe.

_________________________________

Whispers and quiet voices speaking words that I can't quite make out is what wakes me from my slumber, the constant beeping sound that is close to me, pulls me away from the place that I have started to call 'The Nothing'.

I try to open my eyes, remembering the voice of the guy asking me to do it for him, I feel like he is someone very special to me but I honestly just can't remember.

The velocious beeping of the annoying machine must alert the other occupants in the room that I am conscious, because all of a sudden I feel warmth on both of my hands, and a few more spots of warmth on various parts of my body.

Curiously my left hand is tingling pleasantly, making me feel things that I don't really understand.

I know this touch. I know all of their mixed smells, the quiet hum of their voices niggles at something at the back of my brain. Urging me to investigate the feeling of safety that I feel afraid of but am longing to know.

A sudden burst of images and sound comes into focus behind my closed eyelids, flashing through my mind like a movie with the settings set on fast forward.

Forcing me to remember who I am, the life that I have lived, the loneliness that has been a big part of my life, the people that I've known my whole life, the new people that I have met, the people that I have learned to love deeply. The people who hurt me.

The betrayal, the torture table, the cell, the desolation, the rescue mission.

War.

That thought makes me gasp loudly, fearing for the safety of my family, of my people as well as the other Guardian's and their people. The need to protect all those innocent lives gives my immobile body the strength that I need to finally move, making me bolt up from my prone position, wrenching my eyes open and ripping a gravelly and painful scream from my lips.

My breaths coming in short and sharp, my heart rate bumping up faster than I have ever felt it go before.

I squint against the brightness of the light that burns my eyes, trying to put my hands up to protect my body from the pain that has erupted everywhere at a force that is so quick, I can't help the inarticulate screams or the tears flowing from my face.

The hands on my body gently pull me towards the mattress until I am once again lying down, my eyes squint at the brightness all around me, my head starts to swirl with dizziness making me feel disorientated, it's annoying and sickening as f**k!

"Get the lights." a gruff voice demands. Then suddenly the sharp overhead light that's hurting my eyes, finally dims down and I can finally make out the faces of the people around me.

I gaze at each of them, trying to place names with the faces that I see in what looks like a white sterile hospital room, their faces display a mix of eagerness, worry, fear and fatigue.

Slowly, so that I don't hurt myself or cause a bout of dizziness, I turn my head to the right hand side and peer up at the familiar face smiling down at me with tears teetering on the edges of dark lashes.

"Daddy." I croak painfully. My throat feels like a f*****g desert making me cough painfully, then someone holds a plastic cup of what looks like water in front of my mouth.

I open my mouth gratefully, while the hand that's holding the cup tips it onto my dry, cracked lips. I gulp the liquid gratefully while my dad pulls the hand with the cup away from my mouth, making me whimper in protest.

"I'm sorry Princess, but if you drink too quickly, you could get sick, so sip slowly." he instructs, I nod my head imperceptibly and then dad let's the hand go.

I take my time sipping from the glass, momentarily forgetting that there are other people inside the room, when the water is finished I finally decide it's time to pay more attention to the others in the room with me, starting with the person that's holding my left hand.

The face that peers down at me makes me pause in surprise, because what the f**k is he doing here? Wait, where the f**k is here? And why does his touch make my hand tingle, like he's my mate? What the actual f**k is going on?

"Tiernan? What the f**k are you doing here? Where's Bianca? Why aren't you with Bianca making perfect Alpha babies? And why the f**k is my hand tingling?" the husky sound of my mouth shoots off the questions faster than they can enter my mind in short succession.

The tension in the room suddenly skyrockets up and out of the stratosphere, making me curiously look at the other occupants of the room. My heart warms at seeing everyone that I love here in this ginormous, sterile room. Well almost everyone that I love is here as well as some faces that I don't know.

"Hi Valen, yes it's me. I'm here because we are at war, and all of Were-kind, as well as the other species, have been out searching for you. Bianca is back in America with her mate, probably making perfect Beta babies. And your hand is tingling because we are still connected until the anniversary of our Acceptance or we both mate with other people." he says gently.

Oh, that's why there's so much tension in the room.

"Okay, so you were out looking for me too?" I ask him curiously, as he gazes into my eyes, like I'm the answer to all of his prayers.

Nodding his head, he explains, "Yeah. Jared, Storm and I were in a team with some other people in the Middle East.  I joined the search when you were taken."

"Okay." I tell him. I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to react. Do I still have feelings for Tiernan? Of course.

Do I trust those feelings? Not on your f*****g life!

I move my eyes to the person next to him and smile as widely as I can. "Hey River."

I watch as Tiernan is basically shoved away from me, so that River can stand right next to me, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Kiwi girl." his deep voice fills my space while I smile at the nickname.

"How are you feeling?" he asks me curiously.

"Like I was tortured to death." I tell him seriously, my voice and face deadpan. I instantly regret my words when I see his face, as well as the faces of the people around me drop.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask as panic sets in.

"I'm not dead am I?" I ask quickly, my head swiveling around to take in the faces of those around me.

My father leans in, shaking his head negatively, "No, no Princess, nothing like that. But it was a close call." he swiftly assures me.

"What do you mean close call and where's Bas?" I ask quickly, I'm not sure why but I really want to be near him, I want to see his face, I want to know that he's ok.

No, I need to know that he's ok, I need to see him.

I peer into my dad's eyes curiously, slowly a frown forms on my face the longer my dad is quiet. "Daddy, where's Bas? I want to see him!" I ask in a slight panic.

"Baby girl, he isn't here. He had to leave to take care of his Nation." he answers me slowly.

I look around the room at all the faces, Kara and Kaiah are standing near the door. Brody is standing at the front of my bed, my brother and sister and step mother are sitting on the couch looking extremely happy but still worry lines and fatigue line their faces. Other people are in the room too, but my frantic eyes skim by them looking for the one face that I know will give me comfort.

"BAS!" I shout loudly into the room, maybe he's outside in the hallway or something.

"BAS!" I shout louder, I don't understand! I know he was there when they rescued me. I remember his voice telling me to hold on. Where the f**k is he?

"WHERE THE f**k IS HE?!" I scream trying to get up to go look for him.

I feel multiple hands trying to restrain me to the bed, I know they don't want to hurt me, because I know that they love me but I feel like my chest is on fire my whole body yearns to see him.

"Valen, you need to stop or you're going to hurt yourself. He isn't here, please calm down!" I hear my dad desperately tell me.

"NO! You don't understand, I need him daddy! I NEED HIM!" I huff out harsh breaths while trying to fight my way off this mother f*****g bed.

"Valen! Stop it right now!" my father Alpha commands me.

I fall back on the bed, sobbing dejectedly. My body is burning and I don't know why, my heart is aching and I don't know why.

I turn my body and curl into a fetal position trying to hold in this hurt I'm feeling. I'm so confused, why do I feel this way towards Sebastian? I know that I didn't feel this before, but I have this gnawing ache in my heart, that just needs him so badly.

I can hear a wailing sound that sounds so forlorn and broken. It makes me feel even more sad, until I realise that the sound is coming from me. Is that really me, crying like that?

What the f**k is happening to me? I've never cried like this in my life! Not with my abusers, not with my mother's and not with Tiernan either.

But still I continue to sob loudly into the noisy filled room, almost screaming my pain out into the universe. Begging one of the deities to take pity on me, to tell me why I'm feeling this way. I mean sure, I felt a small connection to Bas before, but nothing like the way that I do now.

It almost feels like I'm mated to him, but that can't be right.

The hands still holding me are no longer holding me down in restraint but in comfort, but it's doing very little to calm the frantic beating of my heart, or the panicked thoughts of worry over not being able to see Bas.

I feel a shift in the room, and my soul leaps for joy thinking that it must be him, but when I raise myself into a sitting position to get a better view of the doorway to the room, I see someone that I recognise, but I honestly can't remember where I know him from. The other man and lady are dressed like medical staff so I kind of know who they are; but no Sebastian.

Although I can't remember where I know his face from, the man who obviously isn't a doctor looks at me with so much reverence, and adoration that my sobs quickly hiccup to a stop in mild surprise.

Smiling at me kindly, the man steps forward and leans his head towards me in a respectful nod and as he does this notice the room has quietened down to the point that you could hear a pin drop.

"It gladdens me to see you have awoken, my Regent, but it burdens my heart that you are so distressed." His kind eyes and deep voice soothes me somewhat, but not by much.

He takes my hand in his cool one and earnestly asks, "Please my Regent, tell me what disheartens you so?"

Hiccuping as a few tears escape my eyes, my body shudders with the remnants of my anxieties. Without taking his gaze from mine, he reaches up and catches my tears as they fall after which he nods his head in reassurance that I can speak freely.

I take a little bit of time to take in this mans features, he has dirty blonde well kept hair, hazel blue eyes, a strong nose with a smattering of freckles that would be really cute if he didn't have such a serious disposition, high cheekbones and medium sized lips with a fuller top lip, quite fair skin and a strong looking body dressed in an navy blue Armani suit and pair of black oxford business shoes. The overall effect is that he's a f*****g hot rich dude.

Smiling gently at me he verbally reassures, "It's alright, you may speak freely."

Taking a few deep breaths, I can smell Bas on him, I know who...or more to the point what he is now.

"Vampire?" I hesitantly ask.

Frowning down at me in confusion the handsome man replies, "Yes, my Regent. Do you not recall the time we have spent together?"

Shaking my head I asked him, "We spent time together?"

I watch as a sad expression flickers in his eyes, then he answers, "Yes, my Regent. You and your friends spent a short time with my coven, at one of the many houses that we own around the world. I facilitated your training in various offence and defence techniques, although to be fair, my Regent is very well versed in many forms of combative arts so we did not toil unnecessarily on the training field. Do you not remember me at all?"

As I am gazing at him, trying to make my brain work properly, I see flashes of scenes with him in it. We're talking, fighting, laughing, and I am learning so much history and war strategies from him off and on the field and training room.

A smile of recognition lights my face, causes his smile to widen into something that would have been an amazing smirk if I didn't recognize the genuine joy in his eyes. "Boris!"

He chuckles lowly, releases my hand and takes a deep bow, "Eternally at your service, my Regent."

"I remember you." I tell him happily.

"I am glad, my Regent. Now that we have reacquainted ourselves, would you care to explain your distress?" he asks me once again.

Nodding my head, I answer him, "I'm confused. I don't know where I am, who some of these people are, I don't know how long I've been in here or how long I've been gone for and why do you keep calling me your Regent? What is a Regent? More importantly,I don't know where Sebastian is. I know he was there when I was found, I heard him, I could feel him inside here." I point to my heart while peering into Boris' eyes, feeling my own eyes begin to water.

"I need to see him Boris, I don't know why but I feel like I need him. I'm confused and I feel like if I just see him, if I just speak to him I won't feel so bad, I won't hurt any more." I suck in a calming breath, hoping that he won't stay quiet like my father did, when I asked him where Bas was, praying that he'll answer my question.

All of them.

I'm not sure why but I feel like no one wants me to know anything of what's been happening yet.

Taking Boris' hand in mine, I ask him almost desperately, "Please Boris, where is my Bas?"

I hear collective gasps around the room along with some menacing growls, but I honestly can't bring myself to care, I really want to know where he is. I can feel myself getting tired again and I really want to understand even a little bit of what's going on before I allow myself to close my eyes again.

"I understand your current disquiet, but if you would allow me to answer the simplest of your expeditious queries, I believe that it will ease a good portion of your...agitation." Boris states matter of factly and with so much confidence that I feel compelled to agree with him.

"Okay." I tell him, feeling a little tired so I lie down onto my bed feeling a need to get comfortable.

"Right now, you are being cared for by the Dragon race of your Nation called the Lán huǒ léi, in English it means Blue Fire Thunder, you are currently in China about 20 miles outside a town called Wuhan. You were brought here because it was the closest territory from where you were found since you required medical attention to complete your recovery. You were found in the Himilayan Mountains, in a fortress that belonged to the Dragon's many centuries ago. You were held there for nearly 3 months. You have been here in this Thunder for 4 days."

He takes a breath and waits for me to digest this information, this is how he worked when I trained with him and Sebastian's people, at least that's what I remember. Clear, concise and to the point, that's what I liked about the way he spoke, because it allowed me to focus on what was important.

After a few deep breaths, I nod my head to let him know that I'm ready for him to carry on, telling me the rest of what I need to know.

"Every person in this room, excluding your sister and step-mother, were all placed in search parties with the sole purpose of securing your safe return. They were also present in the battle of the Keep, where you were held. The people you do not recognise are your friends and they all fight on your side, I cannot and will not explain my reasons for my calling you my Regent, as only Grand Regis Sebastian can do that. However, I would very much like to continue calling you Regent if you would allow me to." he deep voice rises in tone, almost like he is hopeful that I'll agree.

Biting my bottom lip, I turned my head to peer at my blanket covered feet at the end of my hospital bed, there was a lot of information in there. And I'm not going to lie, there is quite a bit for me to get a handle on.

"Va-..." my father starts but is cut off by Boris holding up his hand for him to stop.

"I must apologise, Guardian Kamaka I mean no disrespect. But may I suggest allowing Regent Valen a little bit of time to digest the information she has been given?" Boris asks my father in a surprisingly respectful manner befitting a member of Werekind, my father takes one of my hands into his and doesn't say anything else.

I continue to stare at my feet for a short while, before I feel my eyes start to grow heavy, sighing deeply I blink my eyes rapidly trying to stay awake so that I can think more on what I was just told and hopefully long enough to get the answer to my final question. Where is Sebastian?

Leaning forward, Boris catches my attention and says, "Look at me, my Regent. You must sleep to gain your energy. Sleep." his voice is almost hypnotic in nature, his pupils contract in an interesting way.

Clearing my throat I deadpan, "I know what you're trying to do Boris, and you're wasting your time. I can't be compelled, the first and last time Sebastian tried to compel me, I laughed in his face."

I watch in tired amusement as Boris' eyes widen in shock before returning to normal, I also notice that there are a few chuckles around the room, which makes my tired face light up with a small smile.

"Oh...uh. O-okay, I apologise for trying to compel you, my Regent. I know I have yet to answer your final question, b-but I thought that given...uh that I have answered the majority of your questions, you could rest a little before we speak about Grand Regis Sebastian. For the sake of the babies." he stutters through an explanation.

Now it's my turn for my eyes to widen in surprise as I nervously look around the room at my family, friends and uh...strangers.

"You know?" I ask Boris in a quiet whisper.

"Yes, my Regent. The occupants of this room and I are aware of your current condition, and if I may be so bold as to say, I am so very proud of how strong you are to endure what you have been through and still hold firm to the children in your belly." he proudly declares.

"Wait...WHAT?!"I exclaim in shock.

"You all know that I'm pregnant and what the hell do mean babies?" I ask vehemently.

"Oh, yes we are all aware and very happy that you are...pregnant with twins." he informs me with a large smile on his face.

I glance around the room in shock, my tiredness momentarily forgotten. Oh Goddess, please let Brody know that these babies belong to him, that they are not a product of a r**e that didn't happen while I was imprisoned, I think to myself. I focus mainly on the faces of my father, brother, sister, step-mother, Brody and Tiernan; noticing their mixed expressions of pride, joy, fear and something else that I can't quite decipher; before I once again focus on Boris.

"And Bas, does he know?" I ask, scared of the answer for some reason. I'm not sure why I'm so afraid, it's not like the babies belong to him. I mean shouldn't I be more afraid of Brody and Tiernan's feelings towards this pregnancy? We are super young after all.

"Yes, he is very much aware, and let me assure you, my Regent. Grand Regis Sebastian is very happy that you and the babies are safe and sound." He tells me confidently and with a kind smile, like he knew I was on the verge of a freak out sesh, similar to the one earlier.

"Really?" I ask him hopefully.

"Yes, now please. Sleep." He utters into the quiet of the room, "I will be here with your family when you wake, no one will hurt you, I swear it." he whispers to me with a reassuring smile.

Smiling back in return, I close my eyes and just before I fully allow sleep to finally take me away, I hear the voice of my father say, "I love you, Princess. I'm sorry "