Orphaned

Chapter 5

Kayla’s flashback 2 days before her parent’s car wreck

“Mommy! Daddy!” I scream at my pastel pink door, squeezing my eyelids closed, pulling my white comforter over my head. It’s not real, it’s not real, I repeat the chant to myself over and over as I feel my heartbeat beginning to calm. I slowly pull the comfort back over my head checking to see if the figure is still staring at me from the corner of my room. Slowly, I peek out from behind the comforter to see the corner now empty where the figure once was now empty. I sigh feeling the fear leave my body, rolling onto my side, I look down at the floor a black shadow being cast over the carpet. My heart pounds in my ears as I try to force my body further into the mattress wishing it would just swallow me whole. I move only my eyes in the direction of my mirror to see the black figure clinging to my ceiling right above my bed.

It’s just your imagination Kayla, I think to myself as I slowly tilt my head back, raising my up eyes to look up at the ceiling a pair of soulless white eyes staring at me. “Mommy!” I scream the word becoming stuck in my throat as I throw my comforter back over my head slamming my small frame into the mattress.

Nick

Kayla has been avoiding me all morning and I do mean avoiding me she has gone as far as to full on sprint in the opposite direction of me even when I am standing next to her locker.

I can’t help but wounder what I did wrong, what I did to make her avoid me, I haven’t heard a single thing the teacher has said as I have impatiently waited for the bell to ring announcing it was time for sixth period.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Ring. Finally.

I walk towards sixth period rounding the corner as the sound of Kayla’s laughter fills the hall causing the corner of my lips to pull up into a smile. At least she can’t avoid me in class. I think to myself as I sprint down the hall.

The smile on my face disappears when I walk through the classroom door to see Kayla sitting next to Hector laughing at something he is saying. James walks in behind me clasping his hand over my shoulder guiding me to our seats directly behind Kayla and Hector.

“What are you doing tonight?” James asks sitting down next to me.

“I didn’t have anything planned what’s up?”

“There’s a get together with the old crew on the east side if you’re down to go.”

I haven’t seen the crew in months we’ve been busy running with Antwon that we really haven’t had the time to stop and hangout, I glance Over at Kayla noticing she is no longer laughing but her body language suggest that she is either super interested in what Hector has to say or is trying to hear what James and I are talking about.

“Will she be there?” I ask just to test my theory. Kayla’s body tenses up as she slightly c***s her head to the side.

She is defiantly eavesdropping.

“Only If you want her their James says.” His eyes flickering between me and the back of Kayla’s head as he catches on to what I was getting at.

My body is frozen as I listen to the bell ring, Kayla and Hector get up and walking out of the classroom together. Adrenaline shoots through my vines and I sprint through the classroom, catching a glimpse of Kayla’s raven colored hair as she rounds the corner.

If I don’t talk to Kayla now I will spend the entire weekend stuck in my own head trying to figure out why she is suddenly pushing me away. I round the corner Kayla and Hector walking down the hall in front of me, Kayla stops to rummage through her locker as Hector takes a left into the men’s bathroom. I slow my pace as I approach Kayla’s locker my hands glistening with sweat as I step closer closing the small amount of distance still between us I feel the adrenaline rush begin to melt away as I step into Kayla’s personal space, pressing my left shoulder into the lockers.

My phone vibrates in my pocket notifying me that I have received a text message I peek up at Kayla still rummaging in her locker before pulling my phone out of my pocket 'Here’, I glance over my shoulder to see James standing on the other side of the hallway his arms crossed over his chest. I shake my head at him turning back to see Kayla’s silver eyes shining up at me her facial expression says pissed but her eyes are so much more complicated.

The connection between my mouth and brain must be seared because what I say makes no sense.

“So good and you just pushed, and I don’t – don’t understand why?” Kayla looks up at me her hand reaching covering her mouth as she suppresses a laugh.

“I am so sorry.” Kayla a giggle escaping her lips. “Wha -what was it” she stutters unable to fully finish the sentence before erupting into a fit of giggles. “I’m sorry, that was rude, what was it you were saying?” Giggles still escaping her lips as she tries to regain her composure. Her contagious laughter infecting me as I try to suppress my own laughter, her nose scrunching the huge smile on her face causing the apple of her cheeks to reach her eyes. God she’s beautiful.

“Why have you been blowing me off? I thought we had fun yesterday but then today you are just completely avoiding me.” I ask her, her giggling abruptly stopping as her silver eyes search mine, fear flashes in her eyes before disappearing and I am left wondering if I imagined it.

“Nick, I’m not avoiding you. I just – I just” she sighs closing her locker before turning back to look at me. “I think you’re great Nick and I would love to continue to hangout with you as friends. I also understand that that doesn’t necessarily make sense considering, well you know yesterday. Nick I can’t be with you, and I won’t.” The words pound in my ears my vision becoming hazy as the words settle in the air. Well Nick you wanted an answer, there it is.

Hector walks out of the bathroom interrupting the now awkward silence.

“Hey, I’m Hector.” He says offering his hand to me.

“Nick.” I say, shaking his hand firmly. James walks past Hector standing beside me.

“I’m James.” He says shaking Hectors hand. “Are you ready to head out? I want to shower before we go to the party tonight.” James says turning his attention to me.

“Yeah, lets go.” I say glancing at Kayla before me and James walk away.

I am a little shocked by the fact that James doesn’t question what happened with Kayla back there, but I am more thankful that I don’t have to admit that I have no idea myself.

My brothers and sisters are waiting by the car for me when I walk out of the school, I take them to pick up dinner before dropping them off at the house. I pull up to James’s house admiring the single story 3-bedroom 4 bath home, James had bought his mother an empty lot and given her full control of designing her dream house and she had done an incredible job. The outside of the house has a beautiful wrap around porch and is an olive-green color, it reminded me of one of those modern farmhouses you see in magazines with the built-in shutters and big windows. James’s mother is an immigrant who came over with nothing, he watched his father beat on his mother taking everything from her for years before he finally packed his s**t and left. It was the best thing he could have done for them. I walk up the walkway before opening the front door and walking into the living room. I take my shoes off, then head towards the kitchen to find James’s mother, Maria, cutting up some watermelon on her kitchen island, her sss Echo playing a new station in the background.

“Hola hijo” Maria says handing me a piece of watermelon.

“Hola” I say walking over and giving her a kiss on the cheek before popping the piece of watermelon in my mouth. I walk down the hall noticing that Miles’s bedroom door is open. I stop in the doorway all his stuff in the exact same place as he left it, Maria changes the linens and dusts every Friday even two years later. At first I thought she was just doing it to cope but I have come to the conclusion that she never full processed the passing of Miles, I think she truly believes that Miles is going to come back as if he was just away for two years at college.

I really wish you were coming home Miles; I think to myself before continuing to James room.

The sound of water splashing against tile and the smell of body wash tells me that James is still in the shower. James walks out a few minutes later wearing a pair of medium blue wrangler jeans and a well fitted black T.

“So do you think they have something going on?” James says rustling through his closet

“James- “

“Don’t give me that same old bullshit Nick, we have been best friends our entire life, you look at Kayla with the same googly eyes now as you did when you saw her for the first time when we were 11 and she transferred to the East side. I remember the day you came to class and found out that she had switched school and was going to a Jr high on the West Side. You can lie to a lot of people yourself included but you can’t lie to me Nick.” James says his tone remaining calm and even, I always admired James for his ability to remain calm in situations where most people would lose their composure.

“Can you just drop it.” I say clenching my teeth together.

“No, I can’t James, you shut down when Riley left, you shut down when your dad left and to be frank with you Nick, I am tired of watching you take on all this s**t alone. You raise your siblings, you take care of your mother, and instead of talking about it you push everyone away Nick. You push everyone away and then you stack on more work with Antwon you put yourself in the worst situation. Do you have any idea how much pain you put everyone in when you went out and got shot.”

“James not - “

“You were in the ICU for days Nick we were told to say goodbye to you. You took a suicide mission all because you wanted to find your piece of s**t dad. I know about that Nick and instead of talking to me or anybody what did you do? You went behind my back and went and got shot.” James stops talking before talking a deep breath. “Your room was right next to the one Miles was in Nick, I thought I was going to watch you die just like I had watched Miles.” James goes silent again and I can tell he is having a hard time keeping his composure.

“I don’t know what to say James.” I know its lousy but what am I supposed to say to that? Sorry I wanted to find my piece of s**t dad and that he didn’t remember me, so I went and almost got myself killed?

“You don’t need to say anything but next time I ask you about Kayla, your dad, Riley, anything be honest about it, talk about it. I already buried one brother; I can’t bury another.” James words stay with me as we drive to the party, I had been so wrapped up in myself that I hadn’t realized James was hurting. We pull into Mikes driveway, James parks his electric blue hell cat underneath the carport before getting out.

“Hey James, I’m sorry I didn’t think about how my actions affected you.” I say, getting out and closing the car door.

“Come on lets just enjoy the night.” James says tossing his arm over my shoulder a stupid grin on his face. We walk across the yard before entering Mikes double wide trailer, the smell of w**d greets us as we open the door, the sound of music pouring through the speakers. We walk through the trailer most of the guys saying their hello’s and showing their respect to their boss, me. It used to be weird having men older than me calling me boss and waiting on me to bark orders at them, however over the last two years I had gotten more comfortable in my role as Antwon’s right hand. But at events like this I wanted them to treat me more like their friend. James wanders off to find us some drink and I take a seat on the couch neck to Rowdy who is watching two girls I have never seen before grind on each other, James comes back handing me a long neck bottle and a dab pen before taking a seat next to me.

James ended up wandering off with one of the girls that was dancing earlier, it feels like forever ago sense he left, Rowdy is snoring beside me. I need to get up and find James to let him know I am going to order myself an uber. I sit up pushing myself off the couch the concoction of substances I have done swirling in my system I put my hands out as the entire room begins to tilt. I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours before the room stops spinning and the nauseas feeling finally passes over me, the screen door slams shut capturing my attention as a small group of girls walks in, the last one being Riley. My stomach lurches as the room begins to spin. This is not the time for this, I close my eyes begging any part of me that might still be sober to get us out of here before I make a total a*s of myself. When I open my eyes Riley is staring directly at me her innocent honey eyes giving no hint of emotion, I hated how well she could hide her emotions from me.

But I also knew that hiding her emotions was the only way Riley knew how to survive.