Feelings of Life Torment

Untitled Episode13

But until he finds Leyla, the heart will not be calm. John's footsteps are now echoed in loneliness. Light sounds in the air, the noise of people, everything is like a distant story. His heart says, "Whoever gets lost, he can be found." And John went out in search of that, hoping to find a way even in the dark. Every moment for Leyla is now a goal, an invisible promise. John knows, maybe pain, maybe uncertainty, but he won't stop. Because the heart never lies.

When John could not find Layla even after a long search, his mind became heavy. He silently set off towards the college. The clean environment of the college, the teacher's voice, the chatter of the students could not hold his attention. Standing in the classroom, he was teaching history, but his eyes were repeatedly lost outside the open window or in the crowd. Layla's face kept floating before his eyes. The pain, pride and strange emptiness hidden in that final gaze were not allowing him to settle down.

After the class ended, John headed straight towards the library. The clock on the wall showed five o'clock. Sitting in a corner of the college library, by the window, he was immersed in his thoughts. It was raining lightly outside. The sky was full of clouds, and silence was mixed with the smell of wet earth in the air. The sound of raindrops seemed to create a kind of peace in the quiet atmosphere of the library, but that peace was not reaching John's mind.

A thick history book is open in front of him, but his eyes are not on the letters of the book. His gaze is lost somewhere far away. He remembers that last look of Leyla, silent, long, strangely empty. The dream of two people, a small family, a day with a smile, maybe one day the noise of a small child, everything has been shattered. The doctors' words still ring in his ears, "Leyla will never be a mother again."

John tried to convince him again and again, "We can adopt another child." But Leyla wouldn't move. There was a depth of emptiness in her eyes that John could never break. He felt that the person who had become his life, that Leyla, was now lost in an unknown empty world.

The rain began to fall a little harder. The drops were slowly falling down, hitting the window glass. Suddenly, a loud scream sounded outside the library. The sound entered through the window, shaking the silent atmosphere for a moment. John looked at the window in shock. The students, immersed in their books, rushed to the window with a shout. John had to control himself under the pressure of the crowd. He stumbled and went out through the library door.

Sitting in the shade of the oak tree, John took a deep breath. It was no longer possible to contain all the pain that had been building up in his heart for so long. Tears started to fall down his cheeks. The rain was falling on his eyes, but it only made his emotions clearer. For a while, he looked at the street with a bored expression.

Meanwhile, Leyla was walking down the street in a bored mood. The crowd of people around her, the sound of vehicles, everything was vague, as if everything was far away and gray to her. Only one feeling was swirling in her mind: emptiness. She didn't know where she was going. The path was long, and it seemed that every step was taking her deeper.

As she walked, Leyla came to a busy intersection. Her eyes could not see anything. People were moving, cars were honking, but everything was like a different reality. Thousands of thoughts were swirling in her head. He was asking himself, "Am I doing the right thing? Will I be able to find a way?" But there was no answer.

The same kind of pain was swirling in John and Leyla's mind. John could also understand that no matter how busy he was busy or thinking about the book, Leyla's ultimate emptiness was floating in his shadow. The rain outside, the shadow of the trees, the silence of the library, all reflect his mind. Suddenly John goes back to the memory. The small happy moments they spent with Laila, the evening light, the game of laughter, talking in the cup of tea. It all disappeared in a moment. He was feeling that nothing would ever be the same. The emptiness of Leyla's eyes reminds him again and again, all the love and dreams they shared, has become an unfinished story. The rain is falling harder. The dust and water of the road are accumulating. John stood up, coping with the inner suffering. He knows, now it is important to control your feelings. But the mind, the mind is only Leyla. Outside, Layla's movement on the far end of the road, disappears with John's mind, two emptiness, two lost hopes. John started walking. The raindrops are falling on his shoulders, but it does not alleviate the suffering. Tears in his eyes, but a new firmness is coming in his mind, the man he has loved for so long, he must let him go his own way. Leyla still stopped at a corner of the road. It seems that he has lost himself, but still has a little unknown hope. Maybe a new beginning, maybe there is a light in life in the void. The two are bound in an invisible relationship, where lost dreams, feelings of emptiness, and depths of tears are combined. Life has cut their paths apart, but memories, love and suffering are following them silently. Both John and Layla are moving slowly toward a new reality, where the shadows of rain, emptiness, and lost dreams meet, and every step makes their inner suffering more transparent.

Just at that moment, a car suddenly passed by at high speed. Some people close to him shouted, “Beware…!” But by then it was too late. With the sound of the brakes, the cracked metallic and rubber sounds echoed on the road. Leyla's body fell on the road, in an instant a shadow of panic descended around.