The Last String

|10| This is a part of me

|10| This is a part of me

When Gavin told me that I should be real to them, I was stuck thinking about who's the real me. 

I always had to be the strong girl who speaks her mind with I don't give a f**k attitude. I mean, really? Let's face it, I'm not a good girl. That's it. Thinking back, I have no distinct personality aside from being the rude girl the society labeled me. 

I remember one time when a teacher of mine taught something wrong with a lesson and being a no filter b***h that I am, I told her that it was wrong and explained why in a calmest manner that I have but she only dismissed me thinking that I'm only f*****g her mood. That's the thing when your image has been stuck to their mind. Twisted images that the society painted you will forever haunt you. 

What did I do? I grabbed the mask and portray what they wanted me to be. When I did, they were so enraged. 

Sometimes I don't know my place in this f****d up society. You don't go with the norms, they'll be mad saying deviance will lead to nothing. You do what they wanted? They'll be mad for not being perfect. 

People be saying that they don't care. Most of the times I found myself saying to myself that I don't care but honestly? I still find myself listening to what they're saying.

Pure bullshit. I'm a clown, aren't I?

Now, I'm lost and I don't freaking know where to start. 

How to be real? 

"This is Maddy, my make up artist. Maddy, this is Finn my friend." Maria introduced me to a male make up artist who looks absolutely hot but I know he likes fine men too and it's fine. Being gay is not something that we should be shy of and it also applies to the other members of the l***q. Support is what they need so that's what we need to give. 

Periodt.

"I never knew that you have a bombshell of a friend, Maria." Maddy exclaimed and Maria looked so proud like a Mom. 

"Let's get your hair done while we work on Maria's make up, okay?" Maddy then led me to one of the newly installed vanity inside my condo unit that they've brought. They seriously turned my living room into a mini salon!

This morning, Maria called some women and we had spa and facial session the whole morning. I've never been so relaxed like this. My skin feels so soft and velvety to the point that it glows. 

My nails were painted b****y red making my hands look paler than usual. I'm not a fan of mani and pedis but experiencing all these pampering with Maria made me think twice. 

They started working on with my hair. I heard Maddy instructing the look that he wanted me to have—a greek style messy bun with loose hair curls to frame my face. With my long hair and bangs, they easily made their vision into reality. 

It took them almost thirty minutes to fix my hair using the flat iron and bobby pins. It looks so good on me and I've thanked the hairdresser a couple of times now. 

"You look ready even without a makeup," an assistant said to me which made me smile a little. I mumbled a small thank you and look at my reflection. I looked so different—a good different. I'm still the girl with the lifeless gray eyes but I can't pinpoint what changed in me. 

"Looking good, Maria!" I smirked as I saw her wearing a long black wig adorned with a red ribbon. She looked gorgeous with a tinged of creepiness with dark veins on her neck and chest part. Her dress is an off shoulder type with an a line skirt with a high slit on her left leg. Her eye make up looks so mysterious that it looks like it's enchanting you to do something. Her lips was painted with b****y red glossy lipstick. Wow. She sure is serious when she told me that she's gonna steal awards tonight.

"You're up next, Finn!" She said almost shouting as she's readying for her pre-halloween party shoot to the made up set inside my living room. 

"Let me do some magic!" Maddy said and started doing my make up. Since I'm going to be a vampire queen, Maddy used a lighter shade of foundation on me. With his expert hands, he did my makeup. He told me that he won't do dark make up but instead, an ethereal one but still hinting that mysteriousness of a vampire. A pale vampire who glows with ethereal beauty, that's what he said. 

With his soft hands, he put every colors on my face as gentle as he can. 

"She'll use these jewelries and oh! This crown too!" 

I opened my eyes and saw the enchanting change that Maddy gave me. He was like my real fairy godmother! 

"Get dressed! Get dressed Finn I am so excited!" I laughed at her reaction and headed to my room where my gown's at. 

"Do you need help!?" Maria asked me from my bedroom. 

"Not really!" I replied. I'm inside my walk-in closet, slipping into the designer dress that I'll wear for tonight's event. It's not really hard to wear the dress so I needed no help in wearing it. When I was done, I slipped on my silver Jimmy Choo stilettos and graced my way out. 

"Oh my God! You look so stunning!" Maria exclaimed and she's all over the place telling how good I look and how I will totally bag the awards home tonight. 

"The jewelries! Oh my God let's put it on!" Frantic, she walked ahead before me leaving shaking me head off. 

"Look at you serving looks tonight," Maddy said in a teasing manner as he put my ruby necklace in place. 

On my head, I have a black crown with tear shaped ruby jewels that matched necklace. I still have my piercings on so I guessed my peg for tonight is a bad a*s vampire queen. 

This is halloween party to the next level. 

"Pre halloween party shoot!" Almost five people assisted me while I'm doing the shoot. They directed me to do this pose and to act like this and that and it's fun actually. 

The last pose that I did was me holding a wine fluke. Damn, I look cool. 

"I should really make you my queen," Gavin, who's serving looks with his black satin inner wear with three buttons opened, black tuxedo and pants, said with amazement lacing his voice. He has diamond piercing too! I knew that he's hot but I didn't know that he can be more hotter than before. His hair was fixed in a slick back style and the minimal makeup on his face made him look a hot vampire royalty. 

Damn his lips looks so red. 

"You should wear your crown first," I teased which made him laughed. He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. 

"Okay lovebirds, photo shoot!" Maria shouted. 

I took several pictures with Gavin same as Maria and Taehyung. Taehyung is wearing a white and gold prince charming suit but his make up made him look like a badass prince. With a basket of apple on his hand, he looks like a badass softie. 

"C'mon Maria just look into my eyes!" Taehyung said with a fake frown on his face. How can someone believe that he's mad when his eyes glint of happiness? "Do you like me that much? C'mon don't blush babe!" He teased. Maria looked flushed and mad so he glared at Taehyung like she always does. 

"My babe looks so gorgeous. C'mon here give me a kiss!" 

After their shoot we had group picture and I smiled upon seeing the result. 

In the picture, Gavin was hugging me from the back with me smiling my eyes out while Taehyung's kneeling on one knee and Maria sat on his knee. We look cute and happy. 

Am I really happy or it's just happiness in a spur of a moment? 

But whatever it is, I'll take it because it let me breathe and it sparked something inside me...

...like making me alive. 

"C'mon I don't want to be late!" Maria said giddily and grabbed Taehyung's hand. I shook my head in disbelief. Maria's seriously numb! 

I pocketed my full charged phone and a b****y red lipstick (yes girl, my gown have a pocket!) before looking at the mirror one last time. 

Tonight, I'll be taking my mask off. I don't know what will happen to me but I hope everything will be alright. 

Waiting for Carl at the lobby, we're the center of attraction. Everybody's looking at us with amazement in their eyes. Some kids took pictures with us and Maria was more than happy to do so we had no choice but to ride with her trips. 

"Maybe we should charge them per picture," Taehyung whispered but enough for the four of us to hear. "We can eat later after the party at a fancy restaurant with the money we can get from them." He said shrugging and of course, Maria just had to smack his head. What do we expect? They banter again like we're invisible to their eyes. 

"Your cousin is one of a heck numb, right?" Gavin chuckled with what I've said and nodded his head. "Everyone can see that Taehyung likes her." I added. 

"She'll eventually get it. She's not stupid." He said nonchalantly.

With Carl the chauffeur and the awesome limo service, we reached MAE in no time despite of the moderate traffic we experienced on our way to school. 

Classical music is blaring from the sound system that the student council rented for tonight's event. I heard that a famous party organizer had organized our halloween party and that explained why my mouth almost hung open at the sight of our venue for tonight. The ballroom hall looks fantastic with the designs screaming elegance and extravagance. The mysterious air is there with the maroon, gold, white and black theme inside. Huge chandeliers were lighting up the room with the candles adorning the walls adding to the royal feels. Everything is so good. Damn. So this is how rich people organize halloween parties, huh? 

As soon as Gavin and I entered the venue, everyone looked at us. Being the social hierarchy king and queen, we're bound to catch everyone's attention. Gavin's now wearing his crown which resembled mine and I can see how the girls swoon over his looks.

He's Gavin Wraith Smith. With his name alone, girls will come flocking to his side. 

His hand on my waist supports me as we walked down the stairs. Amazement. That's what I can see in their eyes. The whole crowd's watching us and I can't help but to be proud because duh? I'm Gavin's date! Tonight, I became an envy to the lady population. 

"They're burning holes into my body," I whispered to Gavin whose cold, smug look was plastered on his face. "Don't be shocked if you'll find me lifeless later," I joked. He turned to look at me straight in the eyes. 

With all seriousness, he said, "vampires' heart doesn't beat so they're literally lifeless." 

Triggered, I smacked his chest earning a grin from him. This guy, seriously? 

"Cheer up, Sera! Let's get real tonight, shall we?" He said with a wink. With a scrunched face, I pinched his cheeks lightly and tapped his shoulders. 

"What do you mean by real? I'm a lost soul," I replied playfully. "How to be real?" I asked curiously.

His calm demeanor looks so unreal that I had to blink several times. He looked taken aback despite of his calm facade. 

"Well, to be real first of all you need to let go of yourself. Let yourself be free. That will work, I guess." Gavin said. "I really hate that look on your eyes," he groaned suddenly when I loosened up myself and I smirked. 

"You said that I should let go of myself," I opened up my arms with a sad smile. 

"Well this is the bare-faced Finn with no mask at all. This is a part of me that no one has ever seen," I said almost monotonous. 

He heaved a deep sigh and tackled me into an embrace like he never wanted me to let go. His hands was settled on my waist as he bury his face on my neck. His warm breath tickles the hell out of me but he stayed still and said nothing. 

A low murmur erupted inside the hall as our scene unfolded before their eyes.

"I want you as you are with your strengths, flaws, habits—everything." Gavin said. 

"I know you're hiding behind your mask to hide the pain and I can't do anything aside from being with you and understand your situation because honestly, you're the only one who can help yourself. I'm just here to say what I think you need to do but the decision still lies to you." He fixed my lose strand of hair and clip it to the back of my ear. 

"You are you. Whatever you do, I'll support you as long as it's morally accepted since there's no real meaning of right or wrong because it's only a matter of perspective." He gave me a smile and kissed my forehead.

"Forget what the society says and prioritize yourself. We all have different ways of coping up and living our life." His eyes glint of seriousness as his hands settled back on my waist and pulled me closer. 

"We're here for you no matter what happens. Some things may shock us but hey, that's the real you so I'll gladly embrace the changes because finally, you'll be free from the cage that you made to protect yourself." With a small smile, he grabbed my hand and kissed it while looking into my eyes. "It's okay not to be okay." 

Breathless, I stared at the man who made me feel worthy of being myself—that it's okay to be who I am.

My emotions are all over the place but his warmth made me feel okay. Tonight, I made the biggest decisions I've ever made. 

Tonight, I chose to be myself. 

Tonight, I chose to be freed.

Tonight, I chose not to be okay. 

Tonight, I've accepted who I am. 

Tonight, I'm ready to be real.

Tonight, I realized that Gavin Wraith Smith is special to me and I couldn't have imagined how good my life would get from the moment that I've met him. 

Tonight, I'll be real.

#

end of chapter ten