When I Married You

WITHOUT AFFECTION

I sat so still as if my behind had been glued to the seat as I stared at myself in the mirror.

The beautician miraculously transformed me into a very beautiful woman.

The fact that I was this beautiful added very little to my happiness, my heart wretched with every layer of makeup that was plastered on my face.

With every breath I took, my heart tightened, and a knot formed in my stomach.

This was not what I had expected as a child, I had wished that my big day would be full of so many surprises and smiles.

I had wished to get married to a Prince Charming, someone I love, someone that worships the ground I step on, not some billionaire cripple who hates me with everything in him.

The hairstylist had already given the finishing touches to my hair.

I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spring out. I was only doing this for the sake of my make-up, so as not to ruin it and let everyone know that I was crying.

Every bride on her wedding day was supposed to be smiling, not feeling this kind of pain racing through her heart.

The thought that Dad and my stepmom knew that Sebastian was cripple, but they did tell me it was frustrating and wicked.

I knew they hated me, but not this way.

So I was paying a debt to a cripple as his wife.

I sniffed as I thought of it and I hated them both. This was the reason why they didn't want Felicia to get married to him.

I will never forgive them, never.

"Tears of joy, huh?" The beautician said, smiling at me, tapping one last touch of pancake on my face." You are the prettiest bride I have ever had since."

She said and stepped away,

Admiring her work on my face.

I stood up and looked at the woman in the mirror and gave a thin smile.

My ivory white wedding gown made me look so stunning, I smiled at my reflection and when I knew what was going to happen in a few minutes, the smile vanished.

"Hello to the newest bride in town." The door was pushed open and Felicia walked in smiling broadly.

The beautician and the hair stylist excused themselves, and I was left with this devil of a sister.

My tongue was tied as I kept staring at her and I knew she was here for nothing but trouble and to mock me.

"Look at what you are wearing, your husband will faint because of how beautiful you are." She taunted and gave another broad smile and I knew that whatever was coming wasn't good, I didn't want to even listen to it.

"Can a cripple even faint ?" She asked, coming so close to me, half covering her mouth to whisper.

I stood transfixed, watching her, and even though I wanted to reach out and give her a dirty slap, I couldn't do it, my hands felt so heavy and paralyzed.

"Or maybe he will run to hug you. " She slapped her temples. "Forgive me, these days I tend to forget a lot. Maybe because I'm expecting twins."

Anger rushed through me like a flood and I felt the hot sting of tears in my eyes.

I didn't. I went to become a clown for her to laugh at. Tears almost rolled down my eyes and I sniffed.

"Wow, tears of joy." She clapped her hands excitedly like a little child." What a lovely bride, you just can't wait to see your beloved."

My tongue felt so dry and limp in my mouth and the words down in my throat were trapped in a bubble that I just couldn't force out.

"I guess I should take my leave now, big sis, love you." And with that, she was gone.

I shot my eyes momentarily, I held myself not to cry again.

I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I was still standing there, feeling self-pity when the door opened and the driver came in announcing that we were leaving for the church soon.

The drive to the church was a blur of thoughts and memories as I just couldn't hold myself back from crying.

I was so sad I was walking on hot coals which I had no power to run away from.

It seems my life wasn't mine, that I was trapped in a body that wasn't also mine either.

I was getting married to a man who didn't love me, spending forever with him.

Soon return arrive at the big Catholic Church.

And I didn't expect what I saw. The church grounds were full of so many journalists, flashing cameras all around.

For a split second, I felt so important, but I knew it was just for minutes and not forever.

I stood looking at the crowd outside, and I wondered what was on their minds. Could they have thought me lucky and unfortunate?

I am getting married to him today. I barely knew him or knew what he was capable of, and I was sure most of them were feeling a kind of pity for me.

I met Dad at the entrance and the smile he gave me was one of the first genuine smiles he had ever given to me since I was born.

I clasped my hand with him as he led me through the aisle.

There were so many guests and almost all of them had an air of importance around them, and it felt like this was a kind of business meeting.

Sebastian was at the altar with the priest in his wheelchair, his eyes met mine for the briefest of seconds before turning away.

I stood before the priest with him in the wheelchair.

The priest recited the vows, and he followed. He seemed to be in a hurry as he pushed the ring onto my finger,

The Priest turned to me and said the vows.

"Do you, Nalini Susan Peterson, take Sebastian Felix O'Reilly to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I was shivering and a sob wanted to escape from the deepest part of my stomach.

All of a sudden, for the first time in my life, my voice betrayed me.

I couldn't utter a single word.

The priest repeated the question and I said nothing, murmurings began to rise in the cathedral, and from the corner of my eyes, I could see my parents giving me deadly stares.

For the third time, the priest repeated the question and I looked up at him and, with a shaky voice, I sealed my fate.

"I do."