Chapter 15 | Don't Hurt Me Again
1333 Words
"So you had a girlfriend this whole time without telling me? This makes me feel horrible because I aloud you to kiss me." I say to Killian, watching his face fall.
Killian finally told me about Milah, his girlfriend that he's being dating recently, I hated the fact that he was taken, but then again he's not mine.
"No it's not like that Emma." He pleaded, "Can we not talk about this right now okay."
"No I want to know now!" I demand, "Why didn't you tell me? You kissed me when you had a girlfriend!" I was angry, this is why I never get close to anyone, Regina warned me about him.
Running his hand in his hair through frustration Killian spoke, "Emma can't we talk after this event is over." His eyes held sorrow, confusion, even lost.
I wipe away my tear that rolled down my cheek, "No." I shake my head, "It makes me feel not worthy of what happened, I shouldn't let it happen."
Killian sighs. He held back his words, like he wanted to really tell me something important.
"It was a mistake." my voice croaked out. I ran out of the room that we were in, in the first beginning having this conversation.
I wipe another of my tears as it fell, this was wrong. Why make a big deal out of it? First he just cheated, Second he lied to me when I was trusting him and maybe third he could never be mine. He's charming, handsome, everything a girl wants. While I'm dull, not worthy, and broken. I'll never have the life I dreamt of since I was little.
I ran out of the building, into Killian's limo.
"Can you take me back to my place?" I asked his driver.
He nod, "Sure Miss. Swan." He answers, slipping his black shades on.
I climbed into the limo, slamming the door shut.
A voice hollered my name, "Emma!"
I didn't dare turn to look to see Killian as I rolled up the window not glazing out the window as the limo drove off to my place.
***
I slammed my door shut. I slipped off my heals and dumped my belongings on the floor. I walked into my kitchen to grabbed my wine and a glass, I sat down while I slumped in my comfy couch.
I filled the glass half-way with wine and set the bottle on the living room table. I drank a large gulp of the wine, tasting the bitter sweet taste at the back of my throat.
I was a mess.
My hair was rearranged in a messy way from me stroking my hair too much. My make-up was ruined from crying for long and I had red puffy eyes.
My heart felt hurt, broken again. Little by little the pieces kept breaking. Kissing my boss was wrong, I should have not let it happen even for the siltiest reason. I was beginning to trust him, my walls was beginning to roll down slowly. Now they are higher, than before. Regina warned me about Killian. I felt like giving him a second chance, now he ruined it again.
I finished the rest of the wine, gulping the last bit from the bottom.
I'm such a waste.
My eyes started to feel heavy, eye lids dropping. Until my door bell rang, making me jolt out of my sleepy state.
I groan, as I got up almost tripped over my own feet giggling.
Swinging the door open, Killian stood there, hands in his pockets staring at me with his amazing blue eyes.
"Why are you here?" I question, in a giggling state.
His eyes widen, "Swan." he says, "Are you drunk?" he asks.
I started giggling, "I swear to drunk I'm not god."
Killian chuckles.
Ok maybe I'm a little tipsy, but probably not too much to remember this conversation.
Killian reaches for my hand as I quickly back my hand away stumbling backwards falling on the ground with a big thud. I rub my sore ass.
"Don't hurt me again." I growl in anger.
"I didn't try to hurt you love." he explains, "I would never hurt you for the matter." His eyes softens.
I lazily point to my chest, poking it, "You hurt me right here." I glare at him.
Killian closed the door, sitting down on the floor with me, sighing, "I didn't mean to hurt you Swan, I swear." he says, "It's j-just complicated, I wanted to tell you but I was scared."
Scared of what?
His eyes held a past, I've seen and experience this before. I once held those in my eyes, and I probably still do. I understand him.
Without hesitation I wrap my arms around him, giving him a big warm hug. He received the hug wrapping his arms around my small back. I suddenly felt safe, I felt at home. I felt secure, protected. It felt nice.
I smile.
Moments then he backs away, making my arms cold, lonely. I wanted him to stay in the position with me. Forever.
He clears his throat, "C'mon Swan." he gets up from the floor, grabbing my hand lifting me up along with him, "Time for you to get to bed."
I pout, "No, I don't wanna." I say folding my arms around my chest.
He smiles, "You're cute as a button." he says, touching my nose.
I blush at his comment.
He smiles as he helped me up my steps to my bedroom.
Why does this feel like this has happened more than once.
Oh right because it's happening again.
He opened up my room door and sat me down on my bed.
"Are you capable of putting your pj's on?" He asks.
I eagerly nod my head.
But I didn't move, nor didn't he.
I sat there staring at his deep ocean blue sparking eyes, getting lost in them. He's so perfect, his hair, his smile, his teeth, his chest, his lips.
I dryly lick my lips.
As I do so I noticed he stared right back, examine me as well, with a smile plastered on his face. He bends down to my level.
Stroking my cheeks, he whispers, "Swan you're so beautiful." He comments.
I blush a deep red. What's with all the compliments tonight?
His eyes trailed down to my lips, he leaning closer. My heart races fast, pumping, making my stomach fill up with butterflies.
Don't bring your walls down, Don't bring them down I tell myself.
Before anything else happens, I spoke up, "Don't be silly." I say, hitting his chest playfully giggling.
Stay away as possible my mind echos. But heart says another.
He shakes himself out of his trace, awkwardly smiling, while scratching the back of his neck. "I'll get your clothes."
He push himself up from his knees, walking away into my dresser where my pjs were located.
I watch him as he opens up the first drawer, then quickly shutting them blushing.
My mind was slow to process, still little tipsy from the wine. Then my eyes widen, as I blush again for the third time tonight.
That was my underwear drawer.
He opens the next one and grabbed me a t-shirt, and pajama pants, shutting it.
"Here you go." He says, handing me the clothes.
I smile, "Thanks."
I quickly got up from the bed, maybe way to fast as I stumble again. I ran into my bathroom as I got dressed. Opening the bathroom door again and stepping out, my room was empty, Killian wasn't here.
I furrow my eyebrows looking at a paper on my bed. So I grabbed it, reading the message:
Meet me in my office tomorrow at 8
Have something to explain.
—Killian
I sat the note on the night stand, eyeing two aspirins that wasn't there before, with a bottled of water.
I shrug and got into bed, pulling the covered up to chest snuggling deeper as I rest my eyelids.
- Writer
