the dark days (book one of the darkness saga)

Chapter 30 - All in

Chapter 30 - All In

Dameon POV

Present time -

“How the f**k did this happen? “ I growl at everyone in the room. Two of my best lieutenants in the pack, Max and Logan—my Gamma and Delta, respectively, stood in the center of the room, their heads low, afraid to make eye contact with me.

They both take turns exchanging looks with Justin. I knew they were talking through mind-link, and they’ve managed to block me from the conversation.

“f*****g speak! Stop blocking me!” I boomed. “Why wasn’t this reported to me immediately? Where were our patrols? Does the commander know about this already?”

“Maybe if you stop shouting at everyone we can go through the details.” Justin sits on a chair in front of my desk. He nods at Max and Logan to sit on the couch.

He goes on, “First off, the sheriff only found the bodies today. It was on the humans’ side of town, after all. We don’t patrol there without prior consent. It took them a while to find because the bodies weren’t really out in the open, and the victims were low-lifes; nobody bothered filing a missing persons report.

“But since evidence points to mauling by a wild animal, the sheriff felt it best to contact us. Lola is with him now. I’ve also sent our best trackers to the area. As for patrol, we have doubled up; especially on the humans’ side, since most of the killings has been happening there. The sheriff surely appreciates all the help.”

Our town was mixed with humans; not all the humans knew we existed, and those who knew were handpicked, usually in office, and in a position to keep the relationship between communities mutually beneficial. On our end we made sure they were protected.

In all the years I’ve been the Alpha we’ve had no murders, not like what we have been having these past weeks.

At first I thought it was Xavier. It made sense at the time, those men who died tired to force themselves on Lexie. If I was there I would surely have killed them the same way. Yet his scent was nowhere, not on Lexie, nor the victims, or anywhere else in my territory. Not even my best trackers caught a whiff of his scent.

Who the f**k was our mysterious killer? What if Lexie was a target? Is she safe with these three creeps dead? That’s all I cared about, keeping Alex safe. Justin’s right, my outburst doesn’t help anyone, most of all Lexie. I need to be level headed if I’m to lead my pack into uncovering who this killer is and preventing another disaster.

“The men who died were identified as drug addicts, wanted for harassing some school girls a year ago. The sheriff ID'd them and confirmed their identity.” Justin continues as he breaks down the information.

Justin reminds me of Xavier. Perhaps that’s why we got along. He’s always the calmer one who would rein me in and stop me from solving every problem with my volatile temper.

Xavier. s**t, I haven’t really thought about him for days now. At least not in a positive light.

From behind my hardwood desk I nod towards Max and Logan, “I apologize for my outburst earlier. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention as soon as you can. I know I wasn't available the past few days.”

- 2 days ago, morning -

I woke up to hair tickling my nose. It was Lexie's. Her head was on my shoulders, her hair in a tousle. I brush it aside with my fingers to give her room to breathe. Her skin was glowing, and I suddenly become conscious of her naked skin against mine.

She slept quietly. It's the first time I've seen her sleep this well since she started staying here.

Back when she was in her own cottage I felt helpless when I heard her screamed in the middle of the night, I wanted to help her, be there for her, but I feared I would only make it worse. I had to wait out her acceptance of who I am, and the world I've inadvertently thrust her into.

We've rebuilt whatever bridges were burned since then. And as of last night, we've crossed a new one, and it's a bridge that will define the changes in our relationship moving forward.

I free one of my arms from under her, and rest my elbow on the mattress. I hover over her as I watch her sleep. I don’t want to wake her. Not just yet. She is so beautiful to look at. And I need time to think about what's next.

She's been broken since I saved her from him. She couldn't properly talk. It breaks my heart when I think about it. I thought that if I can get her to open up to me I can fix her. But even before all of that she has to trust me first. I wanted her to trust me with what she feels and have no fear that I will misuse her trust. Could I have permanently damaged our friendship by pushing her too far? She was so vulnerable last night, and all I wanted was to make her feel safe.

It started when she finally spoke without the stutter. I egged her on to talk to me, to finally open up. I wanted to finally fix her. But the moment was so intimate, I couldn't resist what my body has been aching for.

So I kissed her. To my surprise, she kissed back in a way I’ve never been kissed like before. I don’t think it’s ever been that innocent or sincere for me—it was no secret that I f****d girls from high school to college.

I realize now that was all just a facade. I surrounded myself with women thinking that more of them might drown out my need for Lexie. I’m not making excuses, yes I was a genuine f**k boy, and I'm not about to say I wasn't.

She has always been in my life. I guess I put her too high up on a pedestal that I unconsciously didn’t see myself being worthy of her. She always saw me as the jerk friend, and I accepted that label because the predictability allowed her to feel safe around me.

I had been pining for her ever since she’s been back in my life. I saved her from a dark life with Xavier, at first because she really needed saving. But as time went on I realize the feelings are still there. I started to feel desperate, but still not stupid enough to do or say something stupid that would jeopardize our friendship.

But last night—man, oh man; last night I decided to push the envelope. Make or break time; I’ll say what I feel and if she didn’t want it, I would have released her.

But good god, no. I didn’t even get the chance to say it until after. She wanted it too. She was all in. She was all in meeting my every touch, every nibble, every suck, every stroke, grind for grind—she gave it her all.

Every time she squeals in ecstasy I get lost in my own lust, I was so hungry for her. Our fingers tangled in her hair without a care, we kissed deeper every time—if that was even possible. And I already had her that close but I still couldn’t have enough.

I’ve had countless fantasies in my life, but nothing could have prepared me for her coming undone in my arms. She's been unsure since I’ve been back in her life, and I caught her slipping several times, mentioning him in her moments with me. But last night he was no longer there. She couldn’t stop calling my name. So I knew, this was undoubtedly the moment that I have hoped for. Finally, I have her heart.

Or at least her s*x. She climaxed deliriously calling out my name. It was glorious!

She peppered kisses on my cheeks as she went back to earth. And that laugh, oh dear god that laughter after. I laughed back, more at myself for risking it all by foolishly assuming that I can be intimate with her. I couldn't stop laughing after because my gambit paid off.

Her eyes were fluttering while she laughed. I knew Lexie was a sight to behold before but Ive never seen her that close. I could count the freckles on her cheeks, and how one was shaped like a heart. Her eyes had a very fine golden halo around her iris. How come I’ve never noticed these before?

How she looked at me after was all I needed to see to know that she loved me too. With women, the look after mattered. Some looked victorious, having conquered climbing Mount Dameon. Some looked at me with disgust after. Most don't bother looking at all and just leave.

Lexie never dated, except that one time but ended abruptly. So, I’m guessing Xavier was her first. She never was easily won over. For her to have given in to me fully, counts for a lot in her book. She's finally choosing me. Last night she had her heart out on her sleeve, then took it all off with her clothes to make love to me, then handed said heart to me on a silver platter.

Did I deserve it though?

Lots of thoughts to ponder and questions that need answering about where exactly we will be after last night. But those need to be put on the back burner for now. She may still be in danger. It may be my overprotectiveness kicking into overdrive, but she has to be kept safe.

She was still asleep when I mind-link with Justin.

Justin. Double the patrols around the house, and don’t accept any guests today. No, make that until tomorrow…

Well good morning to you, to Alpha... Had a good rest? I’m guessing it was a good night? Did you have her singing karaoke for you finally?—Justin answered.

I blocked him off. I felt stupid that I would jump into Alpha duties while she was right here. This moment is a gift I shouldn't waste.

First, I need to be sure that she is really ok. She’s been through a lot, and has a lot to deal with still, especially with the whole ex-best-friend-husband. I’ll ask her later. We’ll have plenty of time to deal with him then.

She’s right here, right now. Can’t I be selfish for once, and just keep her all to myself? Oh yes, Lexie you’re all mine. And I intend to make that last as long as I want to.

Lexie turned her head. Her eye lashes fluttered as she woke. Her muscles all tensed up against my body as she gave out a hearty yawn. God, I wanted to take her again now.

Everything I’m thinking and feeling was probably written all over my face because she was looking at me inquisitively. I’m shitty at hiding emotions. Exactly why I’m here in this ‘naked’ situation with her right now.

Meanwhile Lexie was like a brick wall. You’ll never know she was hurting until she explodes. Usually. But not today. Today she is clear as glass. She smiled from ear to ear as she turned to face me. She moved closer, pressing her chest against mine.

I wanted her again. There was no hiding how excited I was.

“Good morning, hot stuff,” she murmurs as her eyes widened. She must have felt my excitement press against her thigh.

“Look at you, talking!” I responded as I kissed her forehead. Oh, to hear her talk straight! I was ecstatic she was talking again.

In the back of my head I knew we had to have that talk about how she was harming herself last night. We’ll have that discussion some other time.

“Really, that's why you’re excited? That I'm finally talking. I don't think so. I think it's something else," she said pointedly. I love hearing Lexie talk sassy.

I take her in, her disheveled hair, her pouty lips, her skin flushed and taut. She is the epitome of my erotic satisfaction. The realization of my fantasies. I crouch over her on my palms and knees.

“Before the craziness of the day starts—before you get lost in your thoughts again—let me be clear; last night was not a one night stand, nor a spur of the moment decision, or an itch that just needed to be dealt with. I want you to know, I’m all in...”

She interrupts me with an arched eyebrow. “An itch?“ She looked at me teasingly. God, that look will be the death of me.

“…as I was saying. I am all in here. I will help you deal with ex-best-friend-husband. God, I will get the best f*****g damned lawyer to help with your divorce. But I need to know—” I pause, I wish it were for effect; in reality fear crept in as I realized what I was about to ask. “—are you with me on this, Alexandra Matthews?”

She smiled and held my face by my cheeks. “Do I have a choice? I mean you kinda trapped me here.”

“Lexie,” I fall on to the bed as I sigh in relief, “whoever thought that you getting your wisecracking voice back was a good idea has got to be stupidest person who ever lived.”

She laughs as she straddles me. She made it took like the very same position we were in the fist time last night, only she was on top instead of me. "You wish that person was you. Because It's a perfectly good idea. If I could't talk, I wouldn't be able to say what I'm about to say.

"But first tell me, isn’t it intimidating to be on top of someone like this while asking all those serious questions?” She gave me her best tiger-look intimidating stare.

“You’re too cute to be intimidating,” I protest.

She flops her arms on her side and her shoulders slump. She takes on a more serious tone. “I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to file for divorce. That will mean I’ll need to deal with things I am not yet ready to.“

That stung. What she’s saying amounts to essentially having her options open to choose Xavier. Even after what has happened. I try to put up my best poker face but fail. I look away instead.

Her face brightens up and she cups my cheeks with her hands, raising my face so that I face her. “But Dameon, one thing I’m sure of is that I love you. I’ve been running around in circles in my head since I’ve been here, figuring it out. And every time I come to the same conclusion. I love you, Dameon. I’ve always loved you. And I know I’m not that easy to love back, especially with all my baggage.”

I didn’t want her to finish her sentence. I crashed my lips into hers and I pulled her closer. I push her down on her back, reversing our position.

I loved my relationship with Lexie, but I wanted more. I felt her smile against my cheek as I pinned her down on the mattress. With my knee I opened her thighs and rested my body in-between her legs.

She takes a deep breath as I pressed my body against hers. I let one hand roam from her neck, down the valley between her breast, to her stomach and finally stopping between her legs.

I massaged her already excited folds. “Clearly I’m not doing a very good job at showing you how much I love you if you think your baggage can scare me.”

I trailed my hand from her folds to her ass where I pinched her. That took her by surprise, she gasped and her eyes widened.

“I’m your man, Lexie. Your man. Do you hear me? I want to share my life with you, with whatever baggage you have. Allow me to carry it for you. You came into my life unexpectedly 16 years ago and I’ve only kept on falling deeply in love with you over the years. I won’t ever let you go. I love you, unconditionally. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I’ve loved you too all those years too, Dameon. And yes I will never forget that.” her voice was wobbly with emotion.

“Now, were talking.” I pinched her ass again.

“Dameon, stop.” She giggled.

“No can do, I don’t intend to ever stop. You see all of this?” I gesture at her, motioning from her head to foot, "All of this is mine to pinch, kiss, and fondle. You are mine, Lexie!”

"Shut the f**k up and take me."

I oblige.