Chapter 20 - It Was Me
1533 Words
Chapter 20 - It was me
-present time -
“Those plates must be spotless.” Justin was standing by the kitchen door. “You’ve been washing them for over an hour.“
I look up at the clock, bewilder where the time went. I'm suddenly awash with guilt at how much I’ve allow my mind to wander.
Justin changes his tone as he turns the faucet off. “The Alpha needs you in the office.”
He tries to catch my gaze.
“Don’t tell me you were talking to Your-big-bad-ex-alpha!” He looks at me disapprovingly. “You shouldn’t open your mind to him Lex.”
Justin has been the one who explained to me the whole mind link thing. Apparently it’s common for mated couples. Mated, what a strange terms. But he has never heard of a human having the connection before.
I just shrug.
Justin has been a good friend when I have none at the moment. How strange to feel so friendless all of a sudden. I used to have two I could turn to anytime.
Now I was alone.
With a deep breath, Justin puts a hand on my shoulder, “Lex, I didn’t mean it that way. I know things are difficult now between you and the Alpha, I mean Dameon. Just give him some time. He will come around.”
“Wh... i... ch Al... pha?” I teased.
Thanks to Justin I could kinda speak. Well, more like stutter, but it was a start. Justin’s been helping me with speech therapy, which he studied in university.
Justin arches his brow as he shakes his head. “Feisty!” He laughs.
I know Justin means well and I am more than grateful that he's been a friend I could lean on. But he will never understand why I couldn’t just shut Xavier out of my life.
- later on the day -
Sitting in the chair farthest from Dameon in his office, I peek through my thick book and spy on Lola; in her ultra sexy active wear, leaning ever so close to Dameon.
Seriously, who wears a sports bra and cut-off shorts?
I couldn't help but focus on Lola, who wasn’t trying to hide that she is flirting with Dameon. And thick-headed Dameon who doesn’t seem to mind. Or perhaps he is enjoying it.
I just roll my eyes and raise my book.
Ever since the killings, Dameon has moved my things from the cottage to the guest room across his own room. He has also placed me under 24 hour surveillance, either Justin or himself needed to be around me all the time.
I know he was is worried for my safety, but most times it was just annoying – especially when he is trying to ignore me, while Lola hovers ever so close.
Was I jealous? I know I have no right to be. But it still was annoying.
Today the agenda was narrowing down on possible leads, organizing border patrols, and expanding the search radius.
It is all very annoying indeed!
Why worry about the rapists' deaths? Isn’t the world a better place without them?
I grumble under my breath as I bury my face in my book.
Lola's lupine senses allow her to hear me. Actually, I think all three of them did. But she was the only one who call me out,
...to mock me, of course.
“Anything to contribute, human? Oh wait you can’t even speak. And you just, quite conveniently, couldn't remember anything.” Smirking,
She leans forward on the desk, “You must be so lucky to have been left unharmed. Either that, or you're protecting someone.”
“Enough, Lola.” Dameon command.
“What? You told me to investigate the murders. I just find it so convenient that she was left unharmed. I mean, didn't you see how those men were brutally murdered? They were killed like animals.” She continue,
"And so far, from everybody else we've listened to? It's her story that doesn't add up." She accusingly points a finger at me.
Pushing my glasses up my nose, I lean forward and lock eyes with Lola. “Th... ey... des... er... ved... It!”
“What?” All three of them say in unison as they gawk at what I just said.
Anger pulses through my veins. Have they forgotten what those two men almost did to me? I bet I wasn’t the first! Why are we wasting so much energy to find the one who gave me justice?
I stand up slowly, eyes still lock with Lola's. Her facial expression changes when I spoke clearly: “THEY DESERVED IT!”
Dameon and Justin are both stun. Justin’s eyes were full of sympathy while Dameon’s stare was more confused. Like he was deciding how to feel about my out burst.
“You can’t be serious?” Lola retorts.
I grip my book tighter, until I can feel my nails digging into its cover.
“Dead serious!” I barely recognize my own voice.
My vision blurs as my memory was brought back to those two men. One on top of me, ripping my hoodie. The other pinning me down. An overwhelming sense of helplessness consumes me.
I don’t remember leaving the room. The next thing I knew I was outside, being chase by Dameon as I walk with purpose across the clearing to my old cottage.
“Lexie,” Dameon calls out.
“Lexie, wait up!”
“Dammit, Lex, Can you please, stop!” Dameon grabs my arm and turns me around to face him. I yank my arm away.
“Ah... I'm sorry, I know how frustrating it must feel. I'm sorry I didn’t consider how his must be for you. But...”
With Dameon, there was always a “ but “, I want to scream at him, instead I just roll my eyes.
But what? That one minute you were kissing me, telling me you want all of me. The next, you're giving me the cold shoulder. Then Now you're acting all concern about me. The more I thought about it the more frustrated I got.
Where was this coming from? Wasn’t it just this morning that I told myself that am keeping my distance from all this feelings I have for Dameon.
I remove my glasses and push my hair back; and lose my breath. I get another flashback of the incident, the two men dragging me into the dark alley, their hands all over me.
I shake my head, and try to remove the images from my mind.
A tear falls, “You... don’t un... der... stand,” I quickly wipe the falling tears with the back of my hand.
You will NEVER understand how helpless I felt that night. Nothing may have happened but they took away my feeling of safety. I lost that night.
“You're right. I don’t understand. I probably never will, as long as you don’t let me in Lexie.” Dameon slowly steps closer to me.
“But How am I to understand any of this if you keep shutting me out?” He says calmly,
“Trust me when I say I wish nothing but to kill those two men. Guilt has been consuming me ever since. Guilt that I wasn’t there for you, again.” He's now right in front of me.
I try avoiding his gaze, yet I am just drawn to him.
“You know how it eats me up that I'm never there to protect you, Lexie. And how it was my fault that you stormed out of the house in the first place.” He puts his thumb under my chin and lifts my face. “So I need to apologize for allowing you to walk away from me that night. For allowing this whole Lola thing much further.”
“It..it’s s..s.silly of ..m..e to h..have b....be..been j..e..a..jealous” I breath out.
He was smiling from ear to ear, “ I knew she’s been flirting but I didn’t do anything about it. Am sorry for that”
His stops smiling as he continues, “however, Trying to find out the truth doesn’t invalidate what happened to you. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. But I have people that count on me Lexie, they count on me to keep them safe.”
I could see the muscles in his neck tense as he spoke, already feeling something was up.
“So if you do remember anything,” he places his other hand on my arm.
I knew it, he wants to know who did it. I couldn’t be so sure, everything that evening was a blur. I could only piece together snippets. But the images where enough to send shivers down my spine.
On cue, images flash before my eyes as if it’s happening all over again. Screaming, blood, torn skin, broken nose, my hands covered in blood, and the sheer peace it brought me as I heard their hearts stop.
I shake my head, trying to erase the images from my mind. I look away, consume by guilt. Guilt that I found peace when those men died.
I didn’t realize Dameon was watching me as I was lost in thought, could he see my guilt?
“You don't need to protect who did it, Lexie.” his eyes search mine as I avoid his gaze.
How do I tell him? When I couldn’t even face the truth.
“You don’t have to protect HIM, Lexie.”
My mouth fell open, surprised at what Dameon meant. He couldn’t be serious, right?
“He... is... not... a... m-monster!” I stutter.
“Isn’t he?”
“No!”
How do I tell Dameon I am the monster his looking for?
- Writer
