At night, the two of them decided to sleep here, and while we were at the dining table earlier, we didn't exchange words. I'm not angry with them because I have no right to be. In fact, I owe them gratitude for not abandoning me during times when I desperately wanted to give up. However, I only wish to keep Rihav, especially the twins, out of our conversations.
I will do everything to prevent Rihav from seeing the twins. It's inevitable that the twins will inquire about their father, and I usually give them excuses or, at times, Amer jokes that their father has drowned in soup.
Currently, I'm on the balcony of our house. It's not that big, but it's enough for the three of us and the twins. The lower part is made of cement, while the upper part is constructed from wood. We weren't able to finish it because I used the money to clean the Madreal Mansion. Laundry work is not enough; I couldn't even afford to have Nanay treated.
I remain silent as I gaze at the surroundings. We live in La Meyanda here in Isla Fera. Almost everyone here is a farmer, and we're in a part of Isla Fera that isn't highly regarded. There are very few tourists in our area; most are locals. It's quite far from the town or La Fera.
Despite that, it's peaceful here, and we're far from trouble. Even if this place isn't famous, what matters is that our lives are peaceful. In the next school year, I'd like to enrol the twins in a local school, but the question remains: who will look after them? There are only three of us at home, and there's no certainty whether Amer will come home or not.
I was looking far away when I felt someone sitting next to me, Zoe.
I hear her take a deep breath before she speaks, "I'm sorry for what happened earlier, sorry for what I said, Fay. I know what happened in the past years; I've seen you crying many times, and you've tried to give up on life multiple times." She pauses, then holds my hand, "But always remember, Zav and I are always here for you. I also know that what my brother did to you in the past wasn't right, and he doesn't deserve to see the twins, but I hope they're not being mistreated."
"They're not being mistreated here, Zoe. They eat three times a day, and I'll save up for what they want. I know that their blood is significant just from the color of their eyes; we can tell who their father is. But, Zoe, the pain..." I point to my heart, "It's still here. I don't know if I can forgive Rihav for everything that happened or if time will heal it." After that, tears start to fall.
The pain I feel is still here in my heart. The hurtful words he uttered are still etched in my heart. Rihav is the only man I loved, even though I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love with someone wealthy because I'm just a province girl.
I made that promise because of my love for him. It wasn't because of his handsome face, his wealth, or even their power; I loved him because I saw him as a good person. He had everything I was looking for in a man, but I didn't know he also had secrets and he could be deceptive.
That's what hurts.
You pour all your love into someone, but in the end... nothing, you'll get hurt. Maybe that's a part of love, that when you love, you're bound to get hurt.
"There will come a time when you'll face my brother, and I hope you'll still listen to him. Even if the world turns upside down, they are still my brother's children, even if you've hurt each other. Yes, he doesn't deserve them, but I hope you both find clarity if you ever meet in the end."
I shook my head, "We won't meet again, Zoe." I said firmly.
Zoe sniffed and nodded, "If that's what you want, we won't do anything unless you're ready."
I didn't say anything more and hugged Zoe tightly. I don't know if they consider Rihav to be their brother or not. It's like I'm their sibling, given how much they help me. I don't know where my twins and I will end up without them, without Zav.
We broke away from Zoe's embrace just as I was about to speak, and we heard the excited shouts of the twins downstairs. Zoe and I immediately stood up and hurriedly went down to the first floor.
As we reached the stairs, both of us instinctively held our breaths, hoping that nothing happened to the twins. Just as I was about to say something, we heard the twins' enthusiastic cheers from below. Zoe and I exchanged relieved glances, thinking that everything was fine.
"Fay!" It turned out that Amer had arrived.
He brought gifts for the twins, and upon hearing his name, the twins shouted in excitement. Well, that was unexpected.
"Amer, I thought you were arriving tomorrow?" I said, carefully descending the stairs.
He handed each twin their gifts before speaking, "Come on! I'm not Amer; I'm Amera! Seriously, you're losing it, Fay! I've told you multiple times that I'm a girl. I may look like a guy, but I'm Amera!" He said with a sassy tone.
Since we were kids, I've always known Amer to be gay. He walks with a sway, and when we play, he insists on having only girls as playmates. When I already knew, that's what I used to wonder about my Rihav, why he was always jealous of Amer.
"I don't know about you, Amer," I said, taking a seat on our bamboo sofa.
"Godmother Amera, this gift is so beautiful!" Hera exclaimed, proudly showing the Barbie doll she received, which was of regular size.
Amer clapped in delight at Hera's words.
"It's good that your godchild knows what I am, but you, calling me Amer— " he didn't finish his sentence as he noticed the twins. "Oh, so the Madreal Twins are here. Are you staying overnight?" he casually asked.
They first met during Nanay's funeral. At first, Amer couldn't believe that the Madreal twins were on Isla Fera. It's been four years now, and Zoe is already managing their business. Zavia, on the other hand, has taken an interest in modelling.
"Yes, we are going to sleep here. I have gossip for you, Amera, a new model. A boyfriend..." I didn't catch the rest of their conversation as Zavia immediately pulled Amer out of the living room.
Amer, being Amer, just went along with it. It's as if nothing has changed. He used to dislike having male playmates, and now he's into guys. It's a pity, though, because he has a lot of admirers, and he's good-looking. But he insists on not liking girls.
"Mom," Hacov called, looking up at me as he sat beside me, hugging my side. "Do you know what a cellphone is? I wanted to watch what Obet is watching, but he said it's only on a cellphone." he said gently.
I ran my fingers through his hair, "Do you even know how to use that? You're just four, Hacov; your eyes might get strained if you stare at the cell phone too much." I replied, kissing his head.
"I'll try to figure it out. They don't want me to watch what they're watching because they say I'm a fairy's child." He pressed his face against my chest.
"A fairy's child? What fairy?" I furrowed my brow.
Since I returned to Isla Fera and the villagers found out about my pregnancy, rumours and gossip spread like wildfire. People were quick to judge, assuming I was some saintly woman turned pregnant. I decided not to entertain them because they didn't know the real story. They didn't know me, and only I knew myself.
When the twins started playing outside, there were days when they would come home in tears because our neighbors were teasing them. There was even a time when Hera asked me what a p********e was, as someone had called me that. I chose to stay silent and advised my children about respecting others.
We may not have wealth, but we understand the value of respect.
"Because our eyes are like this, just like Obet's mother said, our father is American. Where is our father, Mom? If he were here, maybe those outside wouldn't treat us badly."
I closed my eyes and sighed at his question.
"You're not a fairy, Hacov. You're not the child of a raw American. Your father is far away—"
"Your father drowned in soup, Hacov!" Amer interjected, listening in on our conversation.
I'm grateful that Amer is here to catch me whenever my children ask about their father. Amer knows who the twins' father is. He used to go to the Mansion Madreal to report on her mom's condition, and he also went there to see Rihav. When facing Rihav, he turns into a tough man, speaking with authority.
"Because you two are good girls and boys, we'll go to La Fera!" Amer declared, lifting the two of them in his arms
The two laughed happily, teasing Amer as he carried them. When our eyes met, Amer winked at me before kissing them on the neck.
"Are Tata Zoe and Tata Zav joining us?" Hera asked the Madreal twins.
Zoe picked up Hera from Amer and pretended to be sorry, "Sorry, Tata Zoe and Tata Zavia are not available for tomorrow; we have work." Zoe acted sadly as she talked to Hera.
"It's okay, Tata. Next time, make sure to come with us, okay?" Hera added.
"Sure, Hera," Zavia said with a smile.
"Since we're leaving tomorrow, we need to get some rest," Amer said, carrying Hacov towards the second floor.
I don't know what Amer's plan is. He used to work in a famous restaurant and is now a renowned fashion designer. Zavia is always his companion at events. He has a lot of income, maybe because he bought a mall.
The following day, I woke up early as the Madreal twins were about to leave. They ate quickly because I cooked, considering that Manila is quite far, and they might get hungry on the way. After eating, they headed upstairs to kiss my two children before finally leaving.
I cleaned the entire house until Amer woke up. He immediately looked for the Madreal twins, and I informed him that they had already left. He made coffee and sat on the bamboo sofa before speaking.
"You're looking for a job, right?" he asked, yawning.
"Yes, do you know of any?"
He looked at me from head to toe. What's with this flamboyant guy again? Once, he wanted me to apply for a secretary position with a CEO he knew. I backed out when I found out that the CEO was known for being like a dragon. I could understand and speak English, but I was afraid he might say something bad to me in front of many people.
"Have you seen yourself in the mirror, Fay?" he said, turning me around. "You may be small now, but you're fit to be a model—"
"Don't include me in your whims, Amer," I said as I rolled my eyes.
He has been trying to get me into modelling for a long time. I never thought about whether I was beautiful or not. I don't put on makeup or have any fancy body features. I'm not interested in modelling, so I don't want to try.
"Amera, seriously! You're getting on my nerves, Fayre. You were beautiful then, and you're still beautiful now. If I were the first one Rihav met, we might be the ones who had kids."
"You don't have a uterus, Amer," I retorted.
I saw him frown, and his eyes rolled. He returned to his seat and took a sip of coffee.
"But seriously, I know of a job for you, but you might not handle it. You're too thin; you might get sick."
I looked at him, "How can I buy what Hacov wants if I don't work? Okay, any job is fine, as long as it's dignified." I even held his arm.
He screamed and pulled his arm away; what an overacting of this gay man!
"Okay, but don't touch me; I'm still a virgin." He moved farther away from me, "I'll watch over your kids. I missed them; we hadn't seen each other in three months. I'll sleep here while you're away."
"What kind of job?" I asked.
"Waitress to Club of La Fera Dos. I've already arranged it with Tessa, the manager. She knows what job you applied for there. She'll brief you on the rules. By the way, we're besties."
I couldn't help but give Amer a hug. He was one of the people who never gave up on me. He was one of those who helped me find my voice again. Even when challenges came my way, God didn't abandon me; He gave me people to lean on.
"Don't hug me!" he said in a somewhat snobbish manner, even pushing me away.
We left the house at one in the afternoon to go to La Fera. Amer mentioned a new mall there, which he said was the largest in Isla Fera. It had only been open for two weeks and was still drawing a crowd.
We hopped into Amer's car. He may have a lot of money, but I couldn't just keep asking him for help. With the Madreal twins and Amer, I needed to stand on my own two feet.
We travelled for an hour and a half before reaching La Fera. The eyes of the two seemed to be coming out of the window because it was open; they were not used to air conditioning, so Amer opened it. I saw the twinkle in their eyes as they looked at the new mall that Amer was referring to.
The sign read "RMall" on top of the towering structure.
As Amer parked the car, the twins eagerly hopped out. This was their first time setting foot in La Fera. Holding their hands, we entered the mall together. We explored various sections until we reached the toy store, their main goal for visiting the mall. While they were busy choosing their toys, I wandered around, taking in the entire mall.
It was indeed vast compared to the earlier malls in La Fera. As the twins were engrossed in their toy selections with Amer, I decided to step out of the store. The mall was bustling with people, and the facilities were impressive since it had just opened.
I was taken aback when the crowd suddenly increased on my left side. I saw a man in a tuxedo, and although he was partially hidden, he seemed familiar. When he faced me directly, my eyes widened as I recognized him—it was Rihav. Our eyes met, and without wasting any time, I quickly retreated back into the store.
"Let's leave," I was relieved that they had already paid for their purchases.
I guided Hera while Amer took Hacov.
"What happened, babe? We're not done shopping yet," Amer complained as we entered his car.
"I saw Rihav inside!" I couldn't help but raise my voice.
With the two of them here, there's a possibility he might see them if we stay longer. No...he shouldn't see them. He has no right, especially since the time he spoke ill of me and declared he was getting married as if dismissing me.