The Darkness

Festival

Dark spots slowly receded from my vision as I woke up from the dream. It took me a few minutes to realize that at some point I had fallen out of bed and onto the floor, my legs wrapped up in the blanket I had fallen asleep on top of. I winced as I sat up, remembering where I was.

The room around me was darker now, a soft glow emitting from under the closed door. Lights popped on with my movements as I stood, casting a yellowish glow on the walls. Golds and green swirls covered the walls and a large doorless entry lead to a room with a large claw-foot tub. Books were stacked on a shelf next to a large wardrobe and a beaded dark green dress was hung on next to the doorway with a note pinned to the collar. It didn't look like a dress I would normally choose to wear, as the neckline was much lower than what I was used to and a large slit was up the side, but it looked regal compared to the silk robe that was wrinkled and hung off my body from tossing and turning during my dream. On the positive side, I noted, I could move freely if I needed to spring into offensive mode. I didn't know what to expect at any time and anxiety swirled in my guts.

The sun looked like it was beginning to set outside. I heard soft music outside from what I could only assume was the beginnings of the festival.

I sighed, crossing to a large mirror that was in the bathroom and wiped the sleep from my eyes. My hair looked snarled from sleep and the journey and I looked paler than usual.

"You look horrible." I whispered to myself as I pinched my cheeks to bring a little color to them and attempted to pull my hair curls high onto my head with the string I kept around my wrist. While I didn't look Laurel approved as I would have liked, I looked a little less ragged.

I couldn't help but smile as I left the room with the tub and my eyes found Cage's. He was sprawled across the large bed, his arms tucked behind his head and his ankles crossed in a way that looked effortless. He was wearing different clothes now, a pair of soft looking pants made up of browns and golds and a loose white top. His curly hair flopped over his forehead as if he had just washed it and he smelled like lavender. I was starting to see a pattern here in Spiris of warm earthy colors and soft herbal scents, which made sense.

"I thought maybe we were playing hooky." He mused, shooting me a smile. "You look much more well rested. My beautiful she-wolf. You always talk so badly about yourself when you think you're alone." I squirmed under his gaze, but offered him a small smile as he lifted and crossed to me.

He kissed my head gently, his arms wrapping around me in a warm embrace. I sighed as my body relaxed against him.

It almost hurt to be in Cage's arms while Paeris was terrified and alone somewhere. Laurel had said he was spotted by the Ruins which was entirely unknown territory, as far as I knew. Was he even safe? I wanted to lock myself in this room and cry for him.

"I got you something. You were resting so soundly when I checked up on you earlier, I thought I would get you a small present. I thought it might remind you of Keya." Cage said softly, his tone changing to a mix of worry and happiness.

He pulled a small box from his pocket, raising his eyebrows with excitement as he waited for me to open it.

"What is it? You didn't have to get me anything."

"Just open it. It's not a ring, Ray." He frowned, opening the box to reveal a beautiful green gem covered necklace with a soft green string and delicate stones swirling over a heart shaped crystal. I gasped and ran my fingertips over the cool stones. "Do you like it?"

I nodded, tears prickling my eyes again for the millionth time that week.

He placed the necklace around my neck gently, and adjusted it with a smile.

"It's gorgeous. Thank you, Cage. This means a lot to me."

"Are you okay? You're shaking." His lips brushed my forehead. "Are you feeling sick?"

"I think it's just nerves. And I miss Keya. I'm nervous." I listed a string of lies to cover my true worries and sadness.

A voice inside of me whispered: traitor.

_________________________________

The music pouring from the garden was beautiful and unlike anything I had ever heard before. While it seemed up beat and cheerful, there also seemed to be some undertones of sadness. Almost like the musical embodiment of death and rebirth.

Cage rested his hand on my lower back as people began to notice our arrival. My eyes danced over the chatting people and children that were chasing one another, noticing that nearly everyone had a different complexion and hair color than those from the High Wall. Jonas stood out distinctly with his silver hair and radiantly pale skin. In the lights, it almost looked like he was surrounded by a halo.

"Your Highness!" Fern gushed, nearly ripping Jonas' arm off as she dragged him over to us with her. "You look gorgeous! I was so worried that the gown would be slightly too big, but it looks nearly perfect! With a few adjustments..." she chattered on about different textures of fabrics and cut patterns.

"You're going to throw her into an anxiety fit, Fern." Jonas said in a way that came across as genuinely warm. "Ray isn't used to so much energy and fashion isn't exactly her favorite topic."

"Oh hush, you." She swatted his chest in a friendly way that made my heart swell.

"Please! Mingle! Enjoy the party! I will find you in a bit and we can chat." Fern exuded warmth and kindness in every word.

Cage let out a long breath as she walked away, dragging Jonas along with her. I couldn't help but laugh at how happy he looked and how at ease they both seemed to be around one another.

"She is a bit much, isn't she?" He laughed. "I ran into her while I was exploring earlier and she challenged me to a ball game with some of the kids. I don't know how she does it. She kicked my ass."

I laughed out loud at the idea that someone who was probably triple Cage's age could beat him at a child's game. "I think they have a history."

"Who?"

"Jonas and Fern. It's like they were close once. Maybe even in love."

"I thought Keya was the last of the original Council members?" Cage asked, pulling his eyebrows together in confusion. "Wasn't Paeris' mother of Penum? Jonas said something about a past love, but he didn't..." His tongue clicked softly as the pieces fit together in his head. "It makes sense."

I nodded slowly. "I think maybe he married out of duty and not necessarily love." I swallowed the lump in my throat as Jonas tucked a strand of wild hair behind Fern's ear, his eyes shining in a way that I had never seen before. The way he looked at Fern reminded me so much of the way Paeris looked at me, I felt momentarily dizzy. Cage pretended not to notice my falter, but steadied his arm around me slightly.

Time slid by in a daze as people came up and introduced themselves, wishing us good fortune and expressing their excitement for the future, united together again. I had a terrible time remembering names, but the faces all looked so different. Even the children had come up to Cage at one point and teased him for being beaten by a girl. To that remark, I had to explain that he was used to getting bested by me on a regular basis. The kids looked in awe of me, but not in a way that was uncomfortable.

Eventually, the pull of exhaustion started to weigh on me again. I knew the quality of sleep I had been getting the past few weeks, when I actually tried, wasn't good enough to keep me moving strong. I settled myself on a wooden table and sipped drinks of water, but it was as if my brain was completely somewhere else. All I could think of were the blurry trees in my dream and Paeris' voice.

"Ray!" Fern called, waving her hands in the air to catch my attention as she crossed to where I was sitting. Cage had been roped into a rematch game with the children which had left me on the sidelines, laughing every time he was knocked over by someone trying to get the ball. "You know, he really does have good form for being so young."

"He trains constantly. He knows he has to be ready for anything."

"Well, I do think that is a great quality to have, but the Guardians shouldn't be the only ones responsible for protecting everyone." I nodded in agreement to her words. Paeris had told me that in the past, elves trained and protected themselves. It had been Lorelei that thought it was a good idea to leave the Guardians solely in charge of our protection.

"I want to change a lot. But I have to learn how to control my own powers before I expect anyone else to do the same."

Something lit up in her eyes at my words, as if she had been waiting for someone to say them for a long time. "Jonas told me you were special."

"Do you think you can show me? Keya attempted to help me control it, but I think I scared her a little too."

"It's natural to be intimidated by strong magic." She giggled to herself and leaned a little closer to me, as if she was sharing a secret. "I love a good challenge."

"There's something else as well."

Jonas walked over to us, his arms crossed right across his chest in clear amusement of watching Cage play with the children. "He does know how ridiculous he looks, doesn't he?" He laughed to himself and gave me a warm smile.

"Hush, Jonas. Enjoy the show so you can give me highlights of the ridiculousness later tonight. Your Queen was speaking." She patted my arm in encouragement to continue. "Go on, dear."

"Well.." I hesitated, avoiding Jonas' gaze. "A friend of mine, there was a situation-"

"Paeris." She clarified, wrapping her arm comfortingly around Jonas. "I heard. I'm so sorry. To you both."

Of course Jonas would tell his friend about his son being in danger and turning dark. Of course he would seek answers on how to help his only child.

"Do you have any idea how to help him?"

"Ah, you love him." Her eyes sparkled and her hand shot up to silence me as I started to back peddle. "I understand. Duty isn't necessarily what the heart wants. But it doesn't make you love him any less." The way she said it made me realize that she was speaking from experience. Jonas patted her hand absently as he turned his focus back to the game in front of us.

"I will help you. We will discuss it more tomorrow."

"Fern, we can only be here a couple more days. I have to visit Fluvis still and make it home before hell breaks loose. I have gotten really good with fire, but I need help with water and healing still."

"We will begin training tomorrow. I want to see what you know and what you have yet to learn. You won't become a master in only a couple of days." She smiled. "I hope this means you will return soon for more lessons. I would like to nominate my own addition to the Council for Head of Spiris. But Fluvis will be the best place to find answers about your dark secret."

"That's what I was hoping to discuss. With reuniting the High Wall and the Regions, I would like to introduce some old traditions back to our ways."

"I will send a choice from Spiris to you by the time you return. Chel is a fantastic nomination and I believe she would do great things in the High Wall. However, there is also someone I would like you to meet in Braun. She shows promise and may be able help with a problem you haven't realized yet. Consider her to be a back up plan."

I wanted to ask what she meant, to give me more details and thank her for her input and help, but a loud thud brought my attention back to the game as Jonas let out a hissing noise. I laughed at the pile of children laying on top of Cage, wrestling for a ball that he refused to let go of.

"Help!" He called, wiggling and laughing. "These children are strong!"

A night of relaxing and happiness didn't seem so horrible in that moment.

___________________________________

Every day was exhausting and every night, Cage would fill the large claw-foot tub with liquids and help me into the warm water. My nakedness didn't seem to bother him and I had gotten used to Laurel bathing me on a regular basis. My muscles ached and my skin felt as if it were on fire from the strain. Fern had called it an energy burn, though it didn't help that we were working in the sun for hours at a time.

I would soak in the tub, chatting with Cage as he lounged on the chair beside me. Some nights we would discuss the training, other nights he would rub my neck while I silently cried over the possible loss of Paeris. I didn't want to admit to Cage how much I missed him, but I couldn't contain my grief. I would sit in the bath and soak my achy muscles until my fingers were pruny and usually, Cage carried me to bed.

I had nightmares relentlessly, when I could sleep. Often, I would sit awake with racing thoughts, but eventually exhaustion would take hold and the nightmares would return. Often, it was Allie standing over me with eyes as dark as coal. Other times, it was Paeris helplessly crying the same way Allie had when I had found her during her storm. No matter who I dreamt of, they always left with an air of darkness, taking a piece of my heart with them.

Almost a week after we had arrived, Fern commented on the circles under my eyes and the ribs poking from my shirt.

"Are you not eating enough, Ray?" She asked, worry overflowing through her eyes. "You need to keep up your strength. You can't defend yourself or save anyone if you are weak."

She made a soft ticking noise with her mouth and tugged on a piece of hair that had fallen loose from my bun.

Sunshine filtered through the trees around the field, casting soft shadows on the ground around us. Clouds had been rolling in slowly for the past few hours, but we were sure it wouldn't storm any time soon.

Fern had thoroughly exhausted me physically and mentally. My body ached and my eyes stung from forcing them open for the past hour. She insisted that we take advantage of the last few moments of sunshine before sending me off for a bath. My eyes fought to focus.

From early morning to sun down, Cage and I had worked on our physical training - him with physical defense and me with magical offense for a while, then we switched to strictly physical combat. It was strange to not use my physical training in the way I was used to, but training with Paeris had helped jump start the process to feel a little more comfortable. Occasionally, Fern would call a halt and would readjust my body to 'center' me, she said. I was always taught to guard my face, use my smaller stature as a strength instead of a weakness. Fern suggested that I should be grounded to the earth when conjuring earth magic, which was something I had a hard time wrapping my head around.

"Focus on your strength! Feel the ground bending to your will! Breathe through your nose!"

The ground tumbled beneath me as I focused my intention on building a defensive wall. Cage's face was pink from fighting me, but the smile that crossed his features made him look proud.

I looked up as the sky started to crackle, rain drops pulling away my attention and the ground stopped growing upward around me.

"I think it's a sign! Fluvis will be perfect for you tomorrow!" Fern beamed, an excited smile forming on her lips.

I tipped my head to the sky, enjoying the cool drops of water on my too-hot skin.

"I think if you visit me a few more times, we can really hone in on some of the traditional magic. You're doing brilliantly with combat, but you need to be more in touch emotionally with the earth." She wiped her hands on the front of her skirt, leaving traces of grime on the fabric. We all were sweaty messes, but there was a type of serenity that fell between us all.

"Alright, I'm going to take a bath." He smirked, eyes dancing over me. "You can come if you want." He offered, starting up the stairs before turning to look back at me with a raised brow.

"In your dreams."

He shrugged with a soft chuckle and continued up the hill toward the house. "Worth a try."

I sighed, raking my fingers through my dirty curls.

"He looks at you how I used to look at Jonas."

I whirled to look at Fern, taking note of the sad smile that was settled on her lips. "What happened?"

"People move on. We weren't meant to be. Jonas was destined for so much more than a life in Spiris with me."

I nodded slowly, wondering what the story was between the two of them. "Were you in love?"

"Once, a long time ago. But everything happens for a reason." She clapped her hands, as if to signal that our conversation was done. "You have a long journey ahead of you all. I'll ask Chel to make up some food to take with you and she will be off to the High Wall shortly after you leave here. In the mean time, rest those muscles. Jonas and I are meeting shortly to discuss travel arrangements and notify Dax that you will be traveling to Fluvis first thing in the morning."