The Darkness

Head of Spiris

The days blurred on as preparations began for the naming of the new Head of Spiris. There was so much reading to do to prepare that I had barely seen anyone aside from Paeris or Laurel.

I had learned quickly that the Naming Celebration was more politics than an actual celebration. It would begin with dancing and chatter while the Heads of the Council discussed their nominees before my entrance. This would be the time the Council would decide if the nominees were a good fit for the seat at our decision making table. Eventually, the nominees would be presented to me and the celebration would continue. I would have until the Harvest to make my decision and learn more about the nominees. At the time of my decision, a tree would be planted at the edge of the Spiris division in the nominee's honor and the harvest would be blessed. It all seemed like a lot of traditions and politics to me, but Laurel had made it clear that this celebration was very important to Elven culture.

Laurel and I had spent the day getting ready for the party that was now beginning below us. She had pinned my hair into a meticulous updo if curls and little green ivy plants. While I had to admit it made my hair look beautiful, my head was pounding from the lack of sleep I had been getting lately. No matter how hard I tried to sleep, it was as if my brain didn't know how to shut off anymore. She had lectured me as she applied a creamy foundation to my face to try and hide the dark circles under my eyes, but none of her words really sunk in.

She looked gorgeous in her pink dress, the color bringing out the soft waves of her hair and the blush of her high cheekbones. She looked like a princess as she swayed around the room, picking out a pair of heeled shoes for me to wear. Paeris would be her date tonight and while I was happy for them, I couldn't help the bitter taste in my mouth at the thought.

Instead of training, my physical activity had been dancing lessons. At first, I had been all left feet, stepping on Laurel's toes at every turn until her feet ached. She had berated me for not disclosing to her sooner how little grace I had, but quickly we had ended up laughing and picking on each other for how sweaty we had gotten trying to waltz. She had attempted to persuade me to practice with Paeris, but I had refused every time the topic arose. Eventually, I relented to allowing Cage to be my practicing partner since he would be my unofficial date and would also need lessons of his own.

Laurel had entered the party a few moments before I had, disappearing into the crowd of formally dressed spectators. I tried to lose myself in the beauty of the room, noticing the touches of ivy and flowers and tables overflowing with food, but my heart wasn't in this celebration at all. All I could see was Paeris. Of course he would be tasked with introducing me in an official capacity, as he was my mentor and right hand. He offered his arm to me as I cascaded down the stairs, becoming a bit more comfortable with wearing heels since I had been here. They still pinched my feet, but I was able to balance in them much better now.

Cage and I had practiced dancing in my room when I could get away from my duties, learning how to go from awkward toe-crunching movements to fluid gliding. Laurel had helped to show us the basics of what was appropriate but after the first day, it seemed like she was always distracted. I figured it was better to learn to move gracefully with my partner than force her to be away from Paeris for long periods to teach us.

His smile seemed radiant as I tucked my hand into the crook of his arm, allowing him to lead me to the dance floor. I nearly asked him to let me get a drink of wine before we danced, but with the way everyone was watching us expectantly, I knew it wasn't an option.

Cage stood on the outer ring of the crowd, an unreadable look on his face as he watched us.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as Laurel moved to Cage's side, clearly trying to ask him to dance while Paeris pulled me to the middle of the floor. Was she as upset with this as Cage seemed to be? Of course Paeris could move on if he chose to. Even if we weren't together, we could still be friends. I knew that Paeris was different now, but he still had a strong hold on my heart. I knew I hadn't been entirely fair to Cage either.

He wore a black tux with elegant gold trim on the lapels that made the green of his eyes pop while his pale skin and blond hair was a sharp contrast from his clothes. He smiled at me sweetly as his eyes caught mine.

He noticed how my confidence suddenly wavered. I was sure he could see the pain that shone in my eyes, even as I forced a smile to hide it.

"You look beautiful. I didn't think you could make a dress like this look so good." He swallowed, clearly affected by how exposed I was through the lace of my bodice. While Laurel was right in saying I wouldn't be exposed, it did reveal a little more skin than I was comfortable in.

Without meaning to, we had somehow closed the space between us. The feeling of his body close to mine set my skin on fire.

"If you get any closer, I can't promise to keep my hands to myself." Paeris mused, his cheeks growing rosier as well. There was a slight irritation in his tone that I hadn't noticed before. "Do you want to put on a show for everyone?"

"Would it be so horrible? It's not like we haven't been in interesting positions together before. At least I'm wearing underwear this time."

He looked at me, his fingers twitching. "What are you doing?" He demanded, his aloof sarcasm from was nowhere to be found.

"What do you mean?"

"You want to be with Cage. I've been beyond respectful of that decision." He said with ice in his tone. "No matter how unfair it is to me."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and nodded. I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces.

"I just -"

"Just nothing. You may be Queen, but you can't mess with people's emotions like this, Alaray."

I shook my head, tears springing to my eyes despite myself.

"Ray, wait.." his tone was softer now.

I had to get out.

"I should go find Cage. Thanks for the dance." I choked out, forcing myself to turn away with him with what little dignity I had left.

I chose Cage when I chose both paths. I loved Cage. I was destined to grow old with Cage.

Why couldn't I rip my eyes away from Paeris?

Cage took me into his arms as I nearly ran to him, pulling me along in a slow dance that was meant to be elegant yet intimate. To me, it felt unnatural and awkward. While I didn't step on his toes this time as I had many times in the past couple of days, it wasn't nearly as fluid as I had hoped.

"Whoa, where's the fire?" He teased, hugging me close to him.

I watched the way Paeris moved to do the same with Laurel, tipping her back and floating with her around the dance floor in a way that made my stomach squeeze with jealousy. He practically oozed pheromones that made my breath catch.

"No fire. Just missed you." I lied, tucking him closer to me, willing myself to revel in his warmth the way I had with Paeris.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." His words made my stomach churn with guilt.

Traitor. A voice in my head whispered as Cage turned me.

"Paeris and Laurel seem to be happy." Cages voice ripped me back to our dance, his hand gently rubbing my back with affection.

"They do, don't they? I always thought they would end up together." I vocalized aloud but pulled my eyebrows together as she laughed at something Paeris said.

"They look almost as good together as we do, my Queen." He said in a way that I could tell was meant to be sweet and loving, but it felt wrong. My heart tugged as I tucked my head against his chest, trying to block out the dancing couple across the room.

My heart danced uneasily as Cage and I continued our own dance. We seemed to glide for hours before Cage separated from me to get us some drinks. As he returned with two glasses, I downed it in one tug, causing Cage to lift an eyebrow at me.

"Were you thirsty?"

"I just needed a drink. All the attention. Is there anything stronger?" I normally wasn't one to drink hard liquor, but tonight seemed like the perfect opportunity.

He nodded in understanding, kissing my forehead gently before disappearing again to get me another drink. I silently wondered how serious Laurel and Paeris had become. Was I wrong for pushing him away? Was there still time for us?

"Your Highness, are you ready?"

I looked up, pushing Paeris out of my mind as Lilliana, the leader of Fluvis, called to me from her place beside the small stage at the center of the room. Her silver hair was piled on top of her head in an extravagant bun, while her blue pantsuit glimmered from her place on stage. She smiled from ear to ear as she put her hands on a younger man's shoulders. He didn't look to be much older than myself, but like Paeris, I realized that age did not necessarily reflect looks when it came to elves.

He also wore a tux, much like Paeris', but the flowers attached to his lapel was a vast difference, signifying that he was of Spiris. He had a small amount of stubble on his jaw and his blond hair was a curly mop on his head, but not in a way that made him look messy. He seemed like he was sweating through his suit.

Cage returned with a small glass of dark liquid, offering it to me before fading into the throng of people, leaving me to stand alone in the middle of the room. I felt entirely alone as all eyes fell on me.

"Of course. Can you state your name for the Council, please?"

The man nodded and blushed.

I caught the humor in Paeris' eyes as the man didn't respond right away. He seemed to be enjoying the show more than anyone else. His humor had also become darker in the past few months.

"Oh! Right. My name is Cecil of Spiris."

I fought off the urge to roll my eyes in Paeris' direction, but forced a smile. The sleepless nights were starting to get to me and sour my already bitter attitude. Or maybe Paeris was rubbing off on me.

"Cecil of Spiris. My dear friend Liliana has decided you should have a chance to become Head if Spiris." I looked around the room at all of the bored patrons. "Are there any objections? Do we have any others who would like the chance to show their promise?" I called throughout the room, smiling as a young girl in a light green dress stepped forward apprehensively. "What is your name?"

"Bridget." She replied with a bit more confidence than she originally seemed to have. I noticed Paeris nodding in the background.

"And does Bridget have a Council Member who is willing to speak for her talent?" I asked, wishing this would just be over. I wished Keya were still here.

"I will." A familiar voice rang out, causing me to frown. Paeris moved out from the crowd and placed his hand on her shoulder fondly.

"Paeris..." I started, sighing softly to myself. While technically, Paris was a part of the Council as my official right hand and teacher, it was also a very giant conflict of interest. I knew what it would look like if Bridget was now chosen as Head of Spiris over Cecil. While I never used to care what the rest of the Council thought of my decisions, I knew now that I relied on these people to keep us all united. Politics.

Unfortunately, if I denied Paeris' word, it would look equally bad to the Council and show Paeris that I didn't trust his word. I downed my drink, wincing as the rancid taste slid down my throat.

"Bridget was Keya's most promising student and has always been said to have incredible gifts." He said slowly, looking around the room as if to challenge anyone who wanted to speak against him. "Keya had personally taught her the most of the Spiris culture. I stand with Bridget in Keya's memory."

"I'll allow it." I said finally as his words registered, shooting Paeris a look that only he would understand:

We'll discuss this later.

Many around the room seemed satisfied with the two nominees and slowly went back to the tables filled with food and wine while others whispered.

"I look forward to meeting you both personally and discussing your views on your ideas for the future of our home." I said then, forcing a smile at both. To my surprise, Bridget bowed deeply while Cecil turned to Lilliana as if to ask permission to bow. She nodded quickly before he dropped to a single knee and bowed his head.

Interesting. I thought. Since when does a Council member give permission to bow to a Queen?

Paeris cleared his throat behind me, his presence making me jump slightly as the music resumed playing around us. My eyes quickly scanned the party, looking for Cage, and sighed as I saw him standing by the food table next to my father who looked genuinely unhappy.

"What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how this would look?" I snapped at Paeris softly, allowing him to take my hand and pull me into a dance again as the music slowed. "Bridget? Why?"

The party had slowly started to calm down, the patrons wished those of us who lived in the castle farewell. Many still had duties to return to in the morning and while it was a celebration that hadn't taken place in many years, the overflow from our recent battle left plenty of work to catch up on.

"You know, you probably shouldn't go around downing liquor all night in front of everyone." He seemed to be teasing, but my tipsy mind took it as an attack. As I stumbled slightly as he turned me, he laughed softly and wrapped his arm more securely around my waist. It felt nice to know that Paeris knew exactly what he was doing and could lead me even as I stumbled.

"As Queen, I reserve the right to get as drunk as I want."

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair as I pulled the pins from the curls and let it cascade down my back.

He pulled me close again, his chin resting gently on my forehead as my head tucked closer to him despite my mind screaming to run away.

"You have improved. Laurel's lessons seem to be helping." He whispered into the cuff of my ear, his lips brushing along my skin. I shivered slightly. "You can dance on my feet if you like. I won't let you fall." He offered, helping me shift just enough to put the toes of my heels over his dress shoes.

It felt as if we were drifting and spinning for hours before Paeris pulled away from me slightly, taking in my flushed face and glazed exhausted eyes. I hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks.

Being so close to Paeris, continuing to dance well after the music had ended, made my head pound harder than ever despite my relaxation. Or maybe it was the liquor.

"We need to discuss Bridget, Pae."

"You do know how to ruin a perfect moment, don't you?" He growled softly before slowly releasing me so we could talk.

"This is serious."

"Lilliana just wants Cecil to be on the Council so that she has more control. You know he will listen to anything she says." He rolled his eyes as if it were obvious. "He hangs on her every word, Ray. No one should have that much sway over the Council but you. It could cause an uproar. Do you want to be Queen or a pawn?"

While I agreed, I couldn't help but feel like maybe he wasn't telling me the whole story. "And what does Bridget bring to the table? I hate to say it, but even if she was Keya's protege, I need the Council to support my decision. You know how they pushed out Keya. It feels like you're trying to prove something. If I choose her, it will look like favoritism."

"Don't you favor me?"

I swallowed hard at the ghost of a smile on his handsome lips. My cheeks flamed as I felt his eyes on me, studying me.

"You aren't denying it."

"You know how I feel, Paeris."

"You have another option, you know."

"Pae..." I sighed as he moved closer to me, fingertips brushing away the makeup that had clumped under my eyes.

"You could go to Spiris itself and speak to the Leader there. Go back to our roots. You could make the Council the way it was years ago, the way it was meant to be."

I felt silly for thinking he was suggesting another choice for my love life. I scolded myself for letting my drunken brain get ahead of itself.

"That's actually not a bad idea."

"I do have decent ideas occasionally." He smirked.

His boyish charm from before was gone now, his hands thrusted in his pockets and the way he watched me almost predatory. The way his eyes travelled over my body both scared and delighted me. My stomach clenched hard as he took my hand and slowly kissed my knuckles.

"This... Paeris.."

I inhaled deeply as his hand found the back of my neck, his lips capturing mine. His tongue pressed against my lips, deepening the kiss and demanding my full attention. He took my breath with him when he pulled away.

"I'll tell my dad and reach out to Fern in Spiris to arrange a visit. He'll want to meet with you to discuss logistics."

And we're back to strictly business. Again.