The Lost Goddess, A War On Mates

Chapter 20

It had been a month since I moved into Drew’s house, and I cannot deny that I love it here. I get to eat whenever I want, Drew makes time to talk to me and spend time with me. I have a bunch of clothes now as well. I have put on about ten pounds since I moved in, and I looked healthy again. I could withstand looking in the mirror.

We had also developed a routine; I made breakfast and then went to the pack house to cook their breakfast and start my chores. I finished the first three floors of the packs general cleaning before lunch, then Drew would come and have lunch with me in the afternoon, he would leave then I made dinner and cleaned the kitchen and left. I only watched the kids when they wanted me too, but they never seemed to want me near the kids.

I was a bit happy about that because kids had a lot of energy and I barely had any by lunch time. I also had started to train with Drew after he caught me leaving the house at two in the morning. He now trains me on Saturday and Sunday along with doing placebo schoolwork for fun together. Drew was making everything better. Sometimes I caught myself staring at him and wondering where his mate was in the world. It seemed sad to be alone all that time.

Smiling to myself I went to the kitchen and started pulling out ingredients for breakfast starting our routine. After the eggs and bacon were done, I started to brew some coffee when I heard Drew gliding down the stairs.

He came up behind me and kissed my cheek, “This looks great little love.” He took a piece of bacon and chomped it down smiling a wolfish grin.

I rolled my eyes, “You say that every morning Drew.”

He smirked, “Well every morning its true.”

My heart fluttered at his words, and it made me happy but uneasy. I had never felt conflicted on my emotions, but everything seems to be intense or dull lately. I was starting to think I had a mental disorder with how up and down my emotions were.

I made my plate and ate quickly; the sun was starting to peak through the trees, I needed to keep on schedule. I finished my food, rinsed my plate and ran up to Drew crushing him into a hug. I nuzzled into his chest, “Bye Drew!”

I let go and walked out of the house as I heard him yell back, “Bye Aeris, stay safe! See you for lunch.” Smiling I walked into the pack house kitchen and started my day.

Drake had taken his time in getting to know Salem. His affection for him slowly grew as he learned more about who Salem was before he was turned and why he acted the way he does. Looking down at Salem’s sleeping form in the bed Drake moved his hair from his face and smiled at his relaxed expression. He always had a tense posture and facial expressions.

Drake kissed Salem lightly on his slightly parted lips and got up for the evening. He needed to go speak with a private investigator to start his petition against the Blue Moon pack. It seemed so odd that they skipped the tradition of hosting the peace treaty on three separate occasions, along with that young boy who was whipped to the bone. It seemed like such a tiny thing to disrupt a party for the punishment to be a severe lashing like he received. Nothing was adding up, this boy also had to have known Aeris at some point. I had never met anyone else with her name and I would figure it all out.

Walking into my office I immediately dial up the investigator.

The phone rang five times before a rough voice answered, “Private Investigator Colt Hart speaking, who is this?”

“My name is Drake and I have an important task for you Mr. Hart. I need you to infiltrate a pack and find me vital information involving their businesses, how they handle their members, a list of every member in the pack and those who have left, and a constant detail on the Alpha and his son.” The line went silent, and Drake thought he had possibly hit the mute button.

A few minutes later Colt answered,” Send me the pack address, pack name, and payment. I can start today getting into the pack. It won’t be hard really, just have to play as a rogue for a bit.”

Drake sighed in relief, and he smiled, “Excellent how much do you want?”

“I need fifty thousand now and fifty thousand later. With that amount I can get you all the evidence in the world on this pack.” Drake could hear the smugness through the phone.

Rolling his eyes, “Very well, you’ll have it by morning.” Hanging up Drake felt a bit better about his search for Aeris. It was almost the new year and that scared him. Shaking his thoughts away he got back up and went back to his room.

Opening the door, he found Salem still asleep. He mumbled to himself, “I swear this man would sleep a century without batting an eye lash.” The thought made him chuckle and he then stripped again thinking, ‘f**k it, time for a day off.’  Climbing back into the bed he pulled Salem tightly into his chest and kissed his forehead. Lately Drake had found a comforting solace in Salem. Salem had also changed drastically since Drake had started to pay more attention to him.

Suddenly he treated the staff and coven members with respect, his clothes looked less like expensive garments and more like comfortable everyday clothing, he had even taken to sleeping in Drake’s bed whether Drake was at the castle or not. He never asked about prince affairs and had started to treat Drake as a normal low-ranking vampire.

Drake had appreciated it immensely. It slowly made him realize that he liked Salem enough to keep him as a life partner, but he knew he could not ask Salem to be his partner without a doubt he would love no one else. It only solidified his need to find Aeris and make sure she was safe and happy before he could officially let go and be happy himself.

Sighing he kisses Salem and nuzzles into his hair drawing patterns on his back. He whispers out, “I love you Salem. One day I will tell you that.” Drake steady’s his breath relaxing after his confession to the air. It weighed him down often thinking that he could not let Salem know how much he started to mean to him. Salem was a cute beam of tense sunshine around here, it reminded him a lot of how Aeris was growing up but she was less tense. Salem still has so many things I do not know but I will take him out on a date soon to know him better.

A few hours later I woke up without Salem in my arms. I sat up rubbing my eyes and heard the toilet flush. I sighed in relief and leaned back thinking about how to find Aeris. Salem came out and crawled into the bed straddling my lap.

I was a bit too dazed to notice at first until he pulled my face into a heated kiss. He pulled away and frowned,” What are you thinking so hard about?” I bit my lip contemplating making him upset. He was a bit touchy about Aeris.

“I was thinking about Aeris and how to find her, how to handle the Blue Moon Pack, things like that.” I tried to smile but it disappeared when Salem looked away biting his lip.

He looked ready to cry when he whispered out,” Why is she so important to you, you are always thinking about her, and it’s been eight years of searching. I am literally right here and trying so hard to do better about my behavior and yet…” He sighed and started to get up. I pulled him back down onto my lap roughly and kissed him hard.

Pulling away I lean our foreheads together, “Salem, she was an important person to me who just disappeared. I love her so much I would still die for her, but I need closure. I have no idea if she left or was taken. I do not know if she is alive and happy or dead without a grave. I just need to find her to know why. I cannot move on and be completely free and happy, whether it would be with you or not, until I see her again.”

Salem sat with a hard look on his face, he seemed to be thinking when he mumbled out,” So if you found her, you would be able to focus on our relationship better and move on?” I nodded and he looked determined. It made my c**k twitch and I groaned internally. This was not the time to be horny even though Salem was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. I was staring at his bare chest when he ripped me away from my thoughts, “Have you tried a witch to find her?”

I opened my mouth and then shut it thinking about all the tactics we tried. I looked at him and frowned, “I think we overlooked witches because there are not many in the area and most do not count as allies to the coven.”

Salem nodded and smiled, “Well, I have a friend who is a white witch. She would be able to help us find Aeris, she is the best out of any witch. She is extremely old and has powerful magic blessed by the moon goddess herself. I used to visit her often when I lived closer to her magic shop. She is about four hours from here heading north. If you would want to try it?” He looked unsure suddenly.

I cupped his cheeks and pecked his lips lightly,” Hey why are you doubting yourself? If you think she can help that would be great.”

He sighed nodding in relief,” I just realized it might look like I hate Aeris. I really do not have a real problem with her, but I envy her. The coven loves her…you love her…I have not had anyone love me since I was a human. I was pretty naïve when I was turned thinking that man loved me…” He scoffed as a stray tear ran down his cheek.

He wiped it quickly and continued, “He basically used me for s*x and then after a few hundred years he tossed me aside for a new toy. At that point I had no real vampire connections, it was hard, but no one seemed to want me without any status, so I made sure I had loads of money through hard work and investments…” My heart was breaking for Salem as more tears broke free. This was the most open he had been the entire time he was in the castle.

Salem took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes tight,” Even now I like you a lot and I cannot compete with a human girl who is not even here. I feel so worthless and ugly in comparison to her.” I pulled him into a tight hug as he broke into sobs.

He was yelling out in pain that he had never let out, “I have the money, the status, my s*x skills are through the roof and yet I cannot hold your heart. It hurts to be rejected for as long as I have been. I even thought about just walking into the sun and dying about 500 years ago but I was a coward and forced myself to stay alive thinking one day someone will love me. When will someone love me, Drake?”

I rubbed his back and held him tightly to me as a few tears broke loose from my eyes. I was mad at myself for treating such a big-hearted person as a second choice. He continued to sob out and mumbling about his low worth and how he was never good enough. He missed his human family and how much they loved him, how his farm was always warm and homey, he missed having siblings and dreams to look forward to. It broke me to hear him beg for love, not just affection but real love.

I pulled him away from my body slightly to look at his face. He was red and blotchy while his cheeks were soaked in tears. I wiped them away as he was panting and shaking from being so worked up into a frenzy. I would have never guessed he was so sad and lonely.

Suddenly he was mad and punched me in the chest and as I keeled over, he got up and started to pace the room, “Why am I not good enough! Tell me what it is that is not good enough about me! Is it that I am ugly or is it my personality? I know I can be a bit abrasive at first but I used to not be like this so what is it about me that screams run and do not commit! I mean what do I have to do for someone, anyone to cherish me, I would give up everything just for someone to care about my thoughts and feelings like I was precious and valuable…”

He kept flailing his arms while pacing the room, angry tears falling from his glowing eyes. I wanted to laugh at his adorable arms flailing animatedly but I figured that was a bad idea. He kicked the bed and threw a chair across the room as I watched with wide eyes his hysterics. After another thirty minutes he collapsed to his knees hiccupping and whimpering. He hugged himself tight and curled over his knees in a sitting position.

I slowly stood up and knelt in front of him,” Hey baby boy, it’s okay. I like you a lot. I realize I am a terrible courter, and I did admit that back a few months ago. I never meant to put you into this much turmoil because even if I never loved you as a life partner, I already love you like family. I want to get this right. Please never think you are worthless, baby, please?” I reached out cautiously as his chest slowed down and his hiccups slowly disappeared.

“There we go, it’s all going to be okay, Salem. You’re such a good boy. I know no one treats you how you would like, and I am getting there. I promise this is not me jerking you around. I know I must let her go and I am working on that, you will never ever be a rebound. Understand? I respect you too much to do that. I also agree, you do have the best s*x skills in the world.” He let out a giggle at that making me sigh in relief.

“Let me see those beautiful eyes, yeah?” I gently lifted his chin; his lips were quivering. I gently ran my thumb across his lips as I leaned forward and kissed his cheeks then his forehead, his eye lids, his chin and finally his lips which had stopped quivering.

He relaxed into the kiss, and then I realized Salem was a person. He was not just a political move or a forced marriage, he was someone desperate for love and reassurance. He wanted more then what most vampires did, suddenly I felt a wave of warmth thinking about how much Salem means to me.

I deepened the kiss and held him tight. It held passion and love, I wanted to reassure him that even though we were not completely connected for life, that I was having an internal battle finding Aeris, he needed to know that he was a part of my top priorities.

Pulling away gently he immediately hides his face in the crook of my neck, I feel him whisper against my skin,” I am so sorry I threw a tantrum; I can fix it all…” I shook my head and ran my fingers through his hair.

“Never apologize for having feelings baby boy, I do value you. Your opinions and feelings matter to me.” He nodded and I felt all my energy drained as we sat on the floor together until I could feel myself yawning.

‘The sun must be coming up’ I thought. I looked down and Salem was knocked out and snoring lightly. I chuckled lifting him up, placing him into our bed, and taking a cool cloth from the bathroom to wipe his eyes gently and clean his face. After he was settled, I ruffled my hair and looked around my room giggling at the messes he made.

I smiled at how intense Salem was, ‘He has so much passion, I wonder who hurt him enough to hide that side of him.’ I frowned at that thought, he was much older than me which meant he was alone longer than most. I started to clean up at the broken chair pieces and made a pile in a corner. Sweeping up the rest of the mess and mopping, I finished in the later hours of morning.

I smiled at my cleaning job and mumbled out with a yawn, “He did a doozy on the room but now we can cuddle…” Walking over to the bed lazily I climbed under the covers and pulled Salem into my chest. He nuzzled in with his hands on my chest. I was not going to let him go for the rest of the day. Kissing his hair, I nuzzled into him and closed my eyes thinking about the white witch that could locate Aeris and relieve me of my one regret, losing my beloved family.