The Lost Goddess, A War On Mates

Chapter 12

Aeris woke up the next morning cold and stiff. She had not missed sleeping on this sad excuse of a cot. It was barely a thin worn-down rug. Groaning while clenching her teeth she stretches and finds herself looking into the dusty body-mirror. She was still extremely frail and thin. Being called fat had not made her feel fat but it made her wonder if she was still too big for her size. Staring over her stomach, thighs, arms and face she cringed at how scraggly she really was.

Her body had lean muscle, but it did not look quite right. The longer she stared the more she frowned. ‘How can I be a slut when I am not even pretty enough to be noticed.’ Aeris also noticed her hair was close to touching her ankles. It was becoming a problem to train and maintain that much hair. Thinking hard if she would be allowed to cut it made her fidget in the mirror. She gently pulled her hair into a loose ponytail and tried to frame her face with the length she thought could be manageable.

Humming to myself I nodded and pulled the ponytail out. I quickly braided my locks and put on a sleeveless hoodie with some shorts. It was extremely early, around four am. Heading downstairs to the kitchen I opened a drawer quietly. Grabbing out a pair of scissors I started heading to the public bathroom. I looked at my reflection and found myself staring. ‘Who am I?’ rang through the empty sounds around me. It would not go away and the only answer that rang back was, “A useless pack slave…’

Pulling the braid forward and undoing it I stared at the waves it had created. I grabbed a chunk of hair and made a tight fist around my hair near stomach length. Almost as if I were holding a ponytail, I put the strands into the mouth of the scissors. I sat still holding in a breath. Closing my eyes, I quickly started to chop away with the swishing motion of the scissors. After my hand pulled away naturally, I peeked open my eye. I suddenly jumped at how short it seemed. It felt liberating to have my hair back to reaching my stomach. Suddenly the excitement gave me an idea. I once again repeated the process of holding my hair like a ponytail but this time near shoulder length. I did not close my eyes this time afraid of hurting myself so close to my face.

Without hesitation I started to chop through my shoulder length hair. I dropped the loose hair and stared at myself in wonder. I shook out my locks and ran my hands through them. It felt so much lighter. Smiling to the mirror I pulled a few tiny strands forward and gave myself some cute little bangs. They fell gently around my ears and jaw line. It did not seem to suit me though. It was evenly cut but felt off. Shakily grabbing the scissors, I slowly started to cut single strands and style my hair. By the time I was done I had what I heard other girls call a pixie cut. It was extremely short on the sides, and I had a long, beautiful bang that swept over in such a wave it framed my face like a crescent moon. I felt intimidating and powerful with short hair. No one could pull on this and it would not need as much cleaning and brushing.

 I beamed at my short hair and found myself giddily sweeping up the new white carpet I left on the tile. I smirked at my hair as if it lost a battle and checked the time. Gasping I threw my hair away and quickly put my hood up. No one needed to see my hair yet. Quickly running out of the house and to school I found myself biting my lip on edge for when my hair would be revealed.

 ‘I always wore such a blank expression at school it may actually get everyone to be afraid of me!’ I stopped myself frowning, ‘When did I want people to fear me…’ I heard the bell ring in the distance and made my way to the school faster. I ran into my first period out of breath and late. I kept my head down in respect to my teacher. I found my seat and stayed quiet.

The rest of the day went well and then I came to gym where I had no choice but to change clothes. I smiled and decided I was stuck with my hair anyway. I pulled off my hoodie and heard a collective murmur and gasps. I kept undressing and ran my hand through my hair laughing. It felt so good. Everything was exhilarating in gym class. My hair had not kept me distracted or held down. No one could tug on me and ruin my jogging. I had rid myself of a burden all on my own. Coach seemed surprised but smiled at me none the less. I loved my coach he was a good guy.

“Alrighty everyone, the warmups are done. You need to partner up for free weights!” Everyone scattered to find a partner and I shrugged walking over to my own bench press. It was only partnered for safety. I honestly felt safer without any of these wolves around my weights while I lifted. I started to add weights to each side when someone grabbed a twenty-five-pound weight from my hand.

“You think you can bench something so heavy little thing?” He smirked. A bunch of random gym students started to surround us, and the boy looked familiar. I squinted at him and confidently snatched the weight back adding it to the other three. I had a twenty-five, fifteen, and ten-pound weight on my bar for each side. It was extraordinarily little to a wolf but for a human, especially of my traditionally small size, that weight would be insane. A total of one-hundred pounds which was a little less then what I currently weighed. I found myself improving and wanted to bench more but coach said I should maintain this for a while to get used to it. Muscle memory he called it. I simply continued forward and put my headphones in and put on music. This did not last long though because the moment I sat down onto the bench someone pushed me down and held my hands above my head while they lowered the bar down onto my chest. I held in my scream and shortened my breaths. I felt my lungs burning as I kept trying to wriggle free of the male wolf holding my arms down.

“I wonder why you think you are so great suddenly. I heard you are an easy lay as well, can I get some now?” He smirked and ran his hand up my stomach under my shirt. The pain from my lungs ceased and my arms were freed. I sputtered and sat up coughing out my lungs, I took slow deep breaths even though it burned. Things were hazy and I could hear growling around me.

“Aeris are you okay, I am so sorry I went to fix a girls form before she broke her wrist! Who did this to her?” He yelled getting everyone to bow down. He grabbed my hand and had me stand up. Looking through the crowd of people he narrowed his eyes and bowed curtly.

“Alpha Lucas, what do I owe the pleasure?” Coach seemed tense and insincere. I stared at Lucas as angry as ever. He looked to me and grabbed the boy who put the bar on my chest and threw him to the ground. He then targeted the one who held down my arms.

“Is this how you run your class Mr. Apollo? Allowing boys to hurt women?” Lucas growled and coach raised his eyes.

“I would not test me Alpha, you know my status and just because I do not run a pack anymore does not make me any less then you. Now as for this incident I was assisting another student. These two will be severely punished and apologize to Aeris immediately!” He growled at the boys making them whimper. I hugged myself lightly panting from standing too long after the lack of oxygen. Lucas looked over and his anger vanished.

“Let me take you to the nurse Aeris.” I nodded not feeling like fighting when I might need some medical help. He took my hand in his ever so gently and lead the way. He started to take me out the front doors making me pull back enough to stop us.

“I thought we were going to the nurse?” I mumbled slightly scared.

Sighing he smiles,” I would rather the pack doctor look at you if that is alright with you?” I nodded and started to walk with him again. As we approached his car, I felt extremely dizzy and tripped.

“Woah, are you okay?” Lucas sounded on edge, and I nodded weakly dozing in and out. I fell limp and felt sick to my stomach. Stars started to blur in front of me while the ground was spinning.

I barely whispered out, “Text Jake, need help!” This earned a violent growl and a swift yank forward. He suddenly picked me up and carried me to the car. He buckled me in, I leaned against the door with my eyes closed. I panted and felt extremely hot again. This time it was different. It was a slow ebbing heat that seemed to increase with time.

“I am taking you to the doctor hold on, okay? Is this normal after an injury?” All I could do was shrug slightly. I heard the slight humming of the car and felt myself relax. I drifted in and out feeling sleepy. A fleeting thought sparked, ‘When did I trust him enough to sleep near him?’

Driving towards the pack hospital I glanced over at Aeris, she seemed so tired and weak. I could not believe she was going to try and lift one hundred pounds when she was clearly not well enough to do that. Sighing I pulled into the private parking spot and got out of the car. Unbuckling and picking her up, she nuzzled into my chest while wrapping her arms around my neck.

 I stiffened while Adonis wagged his tail in my head. ‘Not the time man!’

‘But Aeris snuggled us!’ He pranced around as I rolled my eyes.

‘She is obviously not well; can you focus on helping her please?’ Adonis slowed down and nodded his head with a solemn expression. I felt bad bursting his bubble but if she gets worse, we will never get a healthy and conscious Aeris again. I took her to the private Alpha suit and buzzed for a doctor.

One arrived immediately,” Alpha, what can I help you with today?” they smiled and looked me over curious. I stepped aside and they gasped and hurriedly took her vitals. The doctor seemed frazzled. Muttering nonsense, he ran out and came back with a yellow bag, a clear bag, and a large syringe of bluish liquid.

“Um, what is all that?” Adonis seeped through anxiety building at all the sudden medicine.

“Alpha, she has a severe fever, a broken sternum, dehydration, and worse yet she’s also caught the flu.” Lucas looked amused at the human girl here being so ill from a simple flu. He did not mean to chuckle, but it escaped his lips which earned him a death glare from the doctor.

“Do you think this is funny young Alpha?” He narrowed his eyes further and stepped toward me growling. “Why bring her here if she is amusing to you when she is in pain? She could die Alpha. She is human, her bones are broken, and she is dehydrated! Humans do not heal well from viruses and her immune system is shot from the lack of fluids, high stress, and lack of food. Along with the broken bones, she should have died from blood toxicity at this point with all the damage she keeps receiving.” He huffed and continued hooking up her IV’s as he ranted about how terrible I am.

I ruffled my hair and sighed. Adonis pushed through and whined at the doctor. This surprised him because Lucas never let his wolf out randomly.

“She will be fine?” He asked hopefully with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. The doctor shook his head and looked at Adonis sadly.

“She needs a lot of medicine right now and your Alpha is depriving her of key nutrients. She will not have a healed bone for at least nine months with her health like this.” Adonis growled and the doctor simply nodded leaving the room. Adonis took Aeris hand as she was passed out on the bed. He whimpered and rubbed his face on her hand over and over purring. He wanted to bring her comfort so badly. Adonis stayed at her side every day. Lucas could not push forward, and his body was looking scraggly after being in the hospital for five days. Jake and Adrian had stopped by to see her with teary eyes. They left quickly because of Adonis. They did not want to argue with a sad Alpha wolf.  Basil refused to see her until she was awake. He felt guilt and regret for yelling at her and not saying sorry before they all went to bed. It was the last words they said to each other.

I was back in the black abyss. It was still uncomfortable. It felt unreal to have so much blank space and when it did have a memory it was so fuzzy. I sighed just floating around. I felt a familiar warmth near my hand constantly. I liked it. I could hardly believe that I was sick again. ‘I really was useless. I wonder who was cooking dinner and how long I have been here?’ I pondered. I sighed and decided to meditate for a bit. I found myself slowly going numb and releasing all the pent-up anxiety the time here in the abyss has filled me with. I let the thoughts flow through me and suddenly I am pulled forward and the abyss is gone.

 I see a man who had beautiful fiery red hair and charcoal black eyes. He is a beautiful mocha color and is wearing a handsome black and red suit. He is sitting nervously waiting at a dinner table. He keeps checking his watch and I start to realize; he has been stood up. He keeps on nibbling his lip and drinks from the wine glass until the bottle is empty. The waiter whispers something to him as he blows out the candle and hands him money for the table. The waiter bowed and left. He stood stiff and started to walk away. I reached out not thinking but I grabbed his hand. He stopped and looked towards me. He opened his eyes in shock and I tried to smile reassuringly.

 I repeated the words of the mysterious man, “One day, you will be loved by someone incredible.” He broke into a big smile and bowed kissing my hand.

“Thank you for letting me know that my goddess. It eases me and my inner demon, will I get a mate one day? Another lady has refused to meet me as you saw…” He sighed and got onto his knees pleading,” Please goddess tell me how to find my mate?”

I smiled at him perplexed and got onto my own knees holding his cheeks, “My friend, I do not know where your mate is, but I will say, you will be happy when they come to you. I am sure they are as desperate for you as well” He smiled and hugged me tight. He felt nice to hug so I hugged back just as tightly. Suddenly he faded away and I felt at ease knowing he was no longer as sad as before. Although that was not a memory. He seemed real and unfamiliar.

Wondering around again I found a library. ‘It seemed this was most of my memory anymore, books.’ I giggled and stared up at the shelves of books. I looked around when I started to explore once again. This time the library did not fade but lead to more memory. I peeked out and found myself walking with ease just following my body’s instincts. I was in front of the familiar office from before. I stepped in and found, once again, a busy man. I rolled my eyes and sat down just staring at him. He did not bother looking up and he seemed stressed. I cautiously sat up and leant over the desk looking at his work. It was nothing special but necessary for the finances of the coven. It also had an invite to the peace treaty. I frowned remembering that sorry excuse of a holiday. He sighed and threw his hand down causing me to jump ten feet in the air. Immediately a warrior came in with the little me. I smiled remembering being caught and brought in for punishment.

The man seemed more amused then upset but I was wringing my little hands together terrified. I giggled at myself, “Aeris, what have I said about going to the training grounds?” He tsked and leaned back in his chair rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You may go now, thank you for bringing her in.” The man bowed and left. “Come here little girl.” I could not have been more than five years old. Slowly approaching, the little me still stood two feet away.

“I sowwy dwae…I wanna be stwong like you…” I mumbled. I awed at myself and watched as he picked me up and hugged me tight.

“My little princess it is my job to keep you safe. You would not want to make me do a bad job at keeping you safe right?” He smiled overflowing with love and adoration.

I nodded furiously and squished his cheeks, “Dwae no bad at anyting. Dwae the bestest!” I squealed and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I smiled at that. I know now if I saw him in person, I would know this man. I could not describe him though nor could I remember how exactly he looked during the day.

I had already tried to draw him, but it never came out quiet how I remembered it. It felt hopeless. I had someone who loved me, and I obviously cannot remember who it was or how to find them. I walked away ready for something else. Walking endlessly, I headed towards the sounds of crying.

It seemed urgent so I picked up the pace and walked towards a young girl who looked to be only twelve. She was on her bathroom floor and bleeding heavily out of her wrists. I gasped and she whipped her head to me with shock on her face. Tears never stopped streaming down her cheeks, and I quickly knelt in front of her and wrapped her in a hug. I cried with her feeling an overwhelming sense of pain.

I pulled away and gently took her wrists in my hands, “Why?” was all I could manage as I looked her in the eyes.

With a shuddering breath she whispered, “He took my virginity, now my mate will never love me…” She sobbed and curled tighter. It broke my heart and then fury ran through my veins. I stood and grabbed a first aid kit form under the sink. I pulled on her hand again making her wince. She stared at me working to stop the bleeding. I found it calming to work like this. I smiled and started to hum. I gently traced a heart on each wrist and kissed it. I smiled up at her and touched her forehead giving her a nuzzle for comfort.

“I will be back, stay here for me okay, sweet girl?” She nodded and I stood tall and angry. I walked out of her bathroom to find a man asleep on her bed. I did not know who he was to her, but I could sense he was not worth the life given to him.

Gently walking over to him I straddled him, he started to stir. He looked around and did not seem to see me. I grabbed his throat and just started to choke him. Eventually after what felt like hours, he went limp under me and I let his heart fade into a different world. I prayed to the goddess for a better life for the man next time around.

 I walked away from the bed to reach the girl, but she was just thanking the moon goddess and suddenly disappeared. I was so confused as to where these people were coming from. It seemed never ending. The man and woman from my dreams suddenly appeared smiling at me. They kissed and reached a handout to me.

I took it and was pulled into a hug, “Keep saving our people, it will get easier with time little one.” The man whispered happily and kissed my head. I sighed in relief and contentment.  He pulled away, “This is the last time we can visit you; it will become dangerous very soon. They will find you and try to control you. You need to be ready for war little one…Terrible things are about to happen, and you need to stay just and fair.” His stern voice made me frown as he faded away holding the woman’s hand. She did not speak this time and she seemed on the verge of tears. She kissed the palm of my hand and suddenly a searing pain went all over my body. I dropped to my knees gasping as they both looked pained.

They disappeared and the pain stopped. I panted and shakily stood to my feet. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “What in the hell is going on!?” I continued to simply scream like a banshee letting out all the pain and frustration I could not understand. Tears welled in my eyes, and I gripped my short hair and closed my eyes shut.

“I want to remember! Why can I not remember anything before the damned pack?” I broke into hysterical sobs and sat still awaiting something else to happen. As time passed the sobs turned to hiccups and the hiccups turned to whimpers. Standing again I continued to walk endlessly, I ran into another man. He seemed to be praying for help from the moon goddess. I walked up to him to help. Afterwards, I continued finding more and more people. I would not stop helping until I could figure out who I was and what I could not remember. I needed answers.