Past Sins

Chapter 8: Valerie

I woke up to the sound of someone banging on my door. Reluctantly I got up to answer it and whoever was on the other side was about to get an ear full. I swung the door open. 

“WHAT?!” I screamed. I’m not in any way a morning person so whoever this is better have a good reason to be knocking on the door at the butt crack of dawn. 

Blake stood there staring at me with wide eyes. “Sorry, Blake.” I quickly apologized. 

“Why?” he hissed. With his arms folded across his chest and stared directly into my eyes with a gaze that could kill. I looked at him with a confused look on my face. I just woke up so there’s no way that I've already done something to piss him off. No one pushes his buttons the way I do but even I'm not that good. 

“What?” I questioned. 

“Why did you leave the party last night? Why did you go off on your own when you know that your father and brother would enact hell on earth to keep you safe? Why would you do that knowing that I would receive the brunt end of things when they realized you were gone? WHY?!” he shouted. I knew I was in trouble because Blake hardly ever raises his voice at me. Right now he was screaming so loud that China could hear him. I put my head in my hands. I completely spaced on the fact that Blake was obviously supposed to keep an eye on me and David would have his head for failing. I was so caught up with my own s**t that I didn’t take him into account. No wonder he’s pissed off, I know that David didn’t let what happened slide. This did confirm my suspicion that David asked him to watch me at the party. Figuring out that small piece of information would have felt like a win if it didn’t come at the extent of my best friend getting his ass chewed out for it.

“Oh my goddess! Blake, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about the fact that they would blame you for me wandering off.” I whispered. 

“Obviously you didn’t! Your brother tore me a new one when he came back and you were gone!” he said, still somewhat shouting. I didn’t have to look at him to know that he’s giving me a disappointed look. Goddess, I hate that damn look!

“Of course he did. I’ll talk to him. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” I promised. Probably won’t do much for him since I'm in the dog house too but I have to try. 

“No, it's fine. I just want to know where you went and why.” he sighed.

“I wanted to know what was going on so I decided to follow David and Enzo.” I stated. 

“Into the woods?!” There he goes, raising his voice again. Maybe I should have left that part out. Whoops!

“Yes.” I mumbled.

“Valerie, come on.!” he said. Here it goes.! The “you don’t have a wolf so you have to be more careful” talk. “You don’t have a wolf Val! You’re aware of this, yes?” Bingo! There it is!

“Yes smartass. I’m aware.” I rolled my eyes and punched him in his shoulder. Like I needed him to remind me that I'm wolfless for four more months. I have everyone, literally everyone, doing that for me. At home everywhere I go people keep commenting on how they don’t miss their wolfless years. How I must be so excited to finally be at one with my wolf. How my mother would have loved to be here with me to turn for the first time. That last one always burned me the most. Bringing up my mother was always hard but lately knowing that I won’t be able to go through this milestone with her killed me. I was young but I remember watching her shift once and she let me ride on her back. Her wolf was so beautiful just as she was; tall, jet black, with her emerald eyes. Even at a young age I wasn’t afraid of her wolf, I was mesmerized by it. The fact that she would never see what my wolf looked like and that we wouldn’t be able to take my first run together. The other girls in my pack have gone through their first transformation with the help of their mother. Hearing the stories of how their mothers stood by their side coaching them through it and running through the woods. It made me miss my mother more than ever. 

“I know your dad had you guys train like crazy so you can kick some serious ass but without your wolf you’re not at full strength. You could have gotten seriously hurt.” he groaned.

“I don’t need a lecture, Thanks!” I went to shut the door but he put his foot out and stopped it. Grabbing the door and opening it back up- he reached out with one hand and grabbed me by the waist pulling me flush against him. His other hand went straight into my hair and cupped the back of my head. “Wasn’t lecturing you baby but I will be asking a favor of you. Next time you fly the coop. Let me know and I’ll go with you. I can’t have you getting hurt.” We stood there staring into each other's eyes for a while before I finally spoke. All the raw emotion and heat that we tried to ignore and dampen down flowing full force between us. My breath was coming out ragged and shallow. A smirk played on his lips seeing the effect he still had on me. It was a while before I spoke- partly because I didn’t know what to say and more so that being this close to him and feeling every muscle that graced his body had my mouth drier than the sahara. 

“Okay. I Promise. Now will you move your foot so I can get changed?” I said, putting both hands on his chest and trying to push him off. 

“Go ahead. It’s not like I haven’t seen all of that before” He licked his lips and smirked, tightening his grip on my waist. 

“Don’t be gross. Move!” I said. Using both hands I pried his arm from around my waist and shoved him out of the way of the door before I slammed it shut. What is with him? What’s with me? We made an agreement to break up and go back to being friends. I shouldn’t be letting him get close to me like this but I can’t say I don’t miss the closeness. My stomach started rumbling and I knew that the only thing I needed to figure out right now was breakfast. I got changed and headed down to the dining room for breakfast or what was left of it. I could smell syrup on Blake so I know that he already ate which means breakfast we served early. I’m sure my father will want to know why he didn’t see me at breakfast, assuming that it was my attempt at getting out of the discussion about where I went last night. I got to the dining room just as an omega was getting ready to put things up. Seeing me she smiled and handed me a plate. “Help yourself honey. I’ll be back once you’re done. No rush” she said. 

“Thank you so much! I’ll be on time tomorrow. I promise” I said happily. She smiled and went into the kitchen.  After loading my plate with eggs, bacon, toast, and some fruit I decided to take my plate out into the courtyard. It was a beautiful day outside and I know with the pack meeting going on and the party last night the inside of the house would be chaos of omegas running around. They would be cleaning up last night's wreckage, this morning's breakfast, and tending to making lunch. Some people never realize how much omegas do for us on a daily basis until you stop and pay attention. After I’m done eating I think I'll find that nice omega and see if I can help with anything. I want to keep myself near the house just in case the meeting ends early. My dad and brother will no doubt want to talk about last night. I mentally prepared myself for the conversation we would have just in case I bumped into one of them on the way down. Which was unlikely because they had to wake up early due to the Alpha meeting starting at the butt crack of dawn. I was halfway done with my plate when Laura walked into the courtyard carrying her own plate. Looks like i’m not the only person who slept in today. 

“Hey Laura. Slept in too huh?” I wondered. 

“Yeah. It was a long night.” she agreed, taking a seat next to me. 

“Gross! No details, please! For the love of the goddess, no details.!” I roared playfully. 

I pretended to fake vomit and she rolled her eyes and laughed. “Not like that dummy! The rogue attack had David on edge so he didn’t get much sleep.” she countered. 

“Yeah. Blake told me that’s what happened last night. Any idea why they attacked.?” I ventured. 

“No. Not that David shared with me. I swear he slept for two hours last night. He’s going to run himself into the ground if this keeps up.” She picked at her plate and pushed some of her food around. Laura has always put David first and has handled it with the poise and grace of a true Luna. There are times though when how exhausted she really is slips through the cracks. 

“Hey come on now. David will figure this all out and then everything will be okay again. Don’t worry.” I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed trying to comfort her.

 “Thanks Val. You know he’s going to murder you for what you did right?” she stated. 

“Yeah. Write me an amazing eulogy?” I teased. 

Punching me in the arm she said, “Of course! I’ll make sure everyone knows how much of a pain in the ass my sister in law was. It’ll be great.”

We both laughed and finished our breakfast then I went to help the omega clear the breakfast buffet. Laura decided to help since David was in the meeting all day. Though she could attend if she wanted to, she knew this was something that David wouldn’t want her to worry about too much. After helping Kara, the omega from breakfast, clear the breakfast buffet I went in search of Blake. Since he’s not the Alpha or Beta of our pack I knew he wasn’t in the meeting. It took me a bit but I finally found him in the packhouse gym in the basement. Blake took his training very seriously since my father made a comment about me needing to be protected. To which Blake stated that I was more than capable of handling my own. I leaned against the door frame and watched him working on his jabs on a punching bag. Once I turned 18 if Blake happened to be my mate I wouldn’t be mad about it. He’s seriously hot! Standing almost 7 ft with brown hair and hazel eyes and a jawline that most men would kill for he was not hurting for a date. 

“You gonna stand there or you wanna get a workout in with me?” he teased.

“I’m more than happy standing here but by all means please carry on.” I took a seat on a nearby bench and motioned for him to proceed.

He laughed and went back to hitting the punching bag. Once he was satisfied with his workout he came and sat next to me wiping his face with a towel. 

“What are you thinking about over here?” he asked.

“Do you ever think about Kol?” I sighed. 

“Way to answer a question with a question… Yes. I do.” he rebuked.

“I can’t help but wonder what he’s up to and if he’s okay.” I said, not being able to hide the sadness in my voice. 

“Why not ask your dad? You know he has him check in. One of his leadership stipulations”

“I’ve been scared to ask. If I ask and he’s hurt or worse I'll be devastated.”

“Yeah I get that. Keeping yourself in the dark probably isn’t the best move though.“How about this? When I get the chance I'll ask and if it’s good news I'll tell you.” he said. I 

“Thank you.” I smiled, putting my head on his shoulder. We aren’t fated mates but there’s no doubt in my mind that if there was never such a thing as mates- Blake and I would be together. 

He kissed the top of my head and whispered. “Of course baby. I’m gonna go hit the shower, stay here and we can walk out together.” 

I nodded and Blake took off for the showers. I still couldn’t stop thinking about Kol, if he were here he could help David realize that not everything has to be done on his own. Kol was just as determined as our brother but he was more laid back and willing to admit when he needed help. My fathers last act as Alpha was letting Kol become the new head warrior of our pack. Our last head warrior was there when my dad took over as Alpha and after many years of service he wanted to retire and spend time with his grandkids. It’s been years since Kol has been in Silver Fang and no matter how many mindlink messages and pictures he sends it’s not the same as seeing him with my own eyes. I still remember the day they told me he was taking over for Marcos. I yelled for a while, tried to talk him out of it for a bit, and cried for days. 

Once Blake was done with his shower we headed out to take a walk around Autumn Moon. At the top of the steps to the gyms we bumped into Luna Rory. 

“Good morning Luna Rory.” We bowed our heads in respect. 

“Oh! Morning you two! It’s Valerie Johnson and Blake Brook, right? Of Silver Fang?” she asked

“Yes ma’am. My father is the former Alpha Robert and my brother is the current Alpha.” I explained. 

“I see. Where are you two off to this morning?” She said, smiling. Even though I’d never met her before last night I can tell that Luna Rory is an amazing soul. She’s spoken to both of us with such happiness and kindness. 

“We were thinking of taking a walk, would you like to join us?” I hoped to get some intel about the rogue situation last night. I figured as the mother of the Alpha she would know something. 

“Actually I'm on my way for a quick workout of my own but you two should go have fun. It’s beautiful outside but a tad hot. Make sure to stop by the kitchen and grab some water bottles before you go.” She continued past us down the steps to the gym to start her workout.

“Hey. Let’s go.” Blake said playfully and shoved me, smirking like the Cheshire cat. I giggled. 

“Alright, come on.” I grabbed his hand by instinct and automatically started to pull it back but Blake had already intertwined our fingers and was caressing the back of my hand with his thumb. We took the Luna's advice and walked to the kitchen and grabbed some water bottles before heading outside. 

Autumn Moon was very beautiful, almost as beautiful as Silver Fang. We walked through the tree line, talking and reminiscing about our happier moments from when we were younger. Autumn Moon had a little pond out in the woods much smaller than the lake back home but just as pretty. We stopped there to sit and chat for a bit then Blake was called away out of nowhere. “Come on! I’m needed back at the house. We have to go.” he declared. He extended his hand to help me up. I looked at his hand and back up at him, not wanting to leave just yet. This is the calmest I've felt since we left home and I wanted to enjoy it more. 

“I think I'm gonna walk a bit more. You go ahead.” I stated as I got up and dusted off my pants.

“Not happening. You’re a flight risk and I’m not getting reamed again because you want to wander off. Come back with me or I’ll carry you back” His hand was still extended to me, I pushed it aside. 

“I’ll stay near the house and won’t wander off, scouts honor.” I crossed my heart and held my hand up. He rolled his eyes and huffed. 

“Fine. If you run off again I'll kill you, got it?!’ He tried and failed to sound authoritative but all I could do was chuckle. I’ve known him since we were kids on more than one level and he couldn’t hurt me if he tried. I’d let him think he had me in line though to stroke his ego. 

“Yes. Now go!” I insisted. He took off back towards the house and left me to myself staring at the sun reflecting off the pond. I closed my eyes for just a second and imagined I was back home at the waterfall.