Past Sins

Chapter 10: Matteo

Seeing my mate laying in a hospital bed with wires attached to her broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. Whoever it was that played a part in this should enjoy their last couple of days. The second she’s awake and able to tell us what happened it’ll be my mission to track that person down. I sat by her bedside and David sat at the other, both of us refusing to leave until we knew she was okay. The sun was beginning to set and we had not moved. Barrett, Enzo, and Asher all left to go rest before their patrol shifts and David tried to convince Robert to go rest as well. Not wanting to leave his daughter's side he stuck around until Laura came and forced him to go. Sitting in complete silence I wondered what David was thinking about all of this. I looked at him and just knew; whoever was responsible was done for. After 5 of the longest hours of my life waiting for her to wake up she finally began to stir. I moved closer to her bed and gently stroked her cheek. 

“Valerie?” I whisperd. Slowly she opened her eyes. 

“Alpha Matteo.” She smiled and my heart flipped. She's not questioning why I'm here or why I'm stroking her cheek. She just leaned into my touch briefly then turned to look at David.

“David. What happened?” she asked, eyes wide as saucers.

“That's what we were going to ask you. Who’s neck am I going to snap today?” he said. 

“It is hard to explain.” she mumbled. 

“Tell us everything. Start from the very beginning.” He gave her shoulder a little squeeze reassuring her that she was safe before she began.

“Blake and I headed out for a walk after his workout in the basement gym. We ran into Luna Rory, spoke with her for a bit and she suggested that we stop by the kitchen and get water bottles since it was hot outside. Halfway through our walk Blake was called away and I decided to finish the walk without him. Before you start, David, I stayed close to the pack house. Anyway, I stopped for a minute in a clearing at the west end of the forest for a breather. It’s when I heard the voice in my head. It was darker if that makes any sense, more sinister. He spoke to me with more intensity this time and before I knew it my vision was starting to blur. I was getting dizzy and that’s when I heard noises coming from the bushes ahead of me. I took off running but with my blurred vision I ended up right at the western border. I almost collapsed and I heard him again..” I dropped her hand and started pacing around the room trying to get my wolf in control. I could feel my claws elongating and I knew that my eyes were already beginning to darken. Whoever this person was had to be a pack member of hers to be able to mindlink her. Once I found out who it was I'd be taking a trick out of Rolands book. She looked down and began to smooth out the sheets on her bed to avoid having to look at either of us. 

I got myself in control and put my finger under her chin and gently lifted her face so I could look her in the eye. “What did the voice say?”

“He said, ‘Come to me my little wolf, its time’” she rememebered. 

I don’t know why but I had a feeling she was keeping something about this entire encounter from us. Whatever it was, I wonder if she didn’t feel comfortable saying something in front of me or her brother. I had to assume it was the latter and as much as it pains me I'd have to excuse myself so David could get the full picture. I’ll make sure to ask him what was said later. 

“I am sorry but I have to excuse myself. Barrett needs me for something important.” I turned to leave but stopped when I felt a hand closed around my wrist. 

“Don’t go! Please? I’d like it if you’d stay. Please?” I reached for her hand and intertwined our fingers. 

“Of course. I’ll stay. Someone should check on Blake though. We need to see if he had a similar encounter or at the very least who called him away.” I looked at David indicating that he should check into that since Blake is of course a member of his pack. He smirked at me, seeming to take the hint. 

“I’ll go do that and be back tomorrow.” he chuckled. With a kiss on her cheek he left, leaving us on our own. 

I took my seat beside her and lifted her hand to my mouth for a kiss. We sat mostly in silence with conversation here or there between her and the nurses that came into check on her. When the nurse finally finished her exam Valerie broke the silence. “You’re my mate, aren’t you?” she wondered. 

I was shocked at her revelation and curious as to how she figured that out. “Who told you?”

“No one. The extravagant hospital room, the attentiveness of your hospital staff, and the way you’ve been looking at me and holding my hand. Dead giveaways” I chuckled, she’s observant i’ll give her that. I thought my actions would prove to be a problem in keeping my secret. I couldn’t help myself though and I didn’t want to. Giving into my urges and desires to be close to her felt amazing. The warm, tingling sensation I get when I touch her drives me mad. 

“My inquisitive little wolf, yeah i’m your mate. Found out last night at the Purnima celebration. I didn’t want to tell you yet, I was hoping we could get to know each other better first.” I teased.

“Well now seems to be a good time. What do you want to know?” she asked. 

I never really thought about what I would ask her once we started spending time together to get to know one another. Was it too cliche to ask her what her favorite food is? Or her favorite color? Even if it was cliche I want to know those things about her. It’s easy to know her body but knowing the little things and knowing her mind is what I wanted. I wanted to know what makes her happiest and what absolutely pisses her off. Knowing everything about this woman was my main goal. I decided to start with something simple that we could build off of. “Your brother told me you’re seventeen. When’s your birthday?” 

 She nodded. “It’s September 17th, what about you?”

“July 8th. Are you excited for your birthday?” I stated. 

A look of pure sadness covered her features as she shook her head.  

“Why’s that?” What would make her not be excited for her birthday. I don’t get excited for mine but I assumed 90% of the female species did. Any past girlfriends I had would almost demand that I take time off of training for a week to celebrate their birthday. At one point I was dating a girl who wanted me to take her out every day for the month of her birthday. Girls being excited about their birthdays is just something that I thought was the norm.

“It’s something my mother and I used to look forward to. I would get full access to my wolf and the powers that come with it. It would also be the time where I would be able to find my mate. I guess that second part came sooner rather than later.” She smiled and tightened her hold on my hand. That smile was the fakest I've ever seen- I decided right then and there I never wanted to see it again. She should only ever feel true happiness. 

“Yes it did and I've never been happier. I’ve waited a long time for you. ”I didn’t know if this would upset her but something was pushing me to say it. “Once you gain full access to your wolf… I’d be honored if you’d allow me to join you on your first run through the forest” I vowed right then and there since she couldn’t have her mother on that day that I'd make sure it was special for her. Even if she wouldn’t let me run with her, I'd find some way to make it special. My parents were there with me the day I shifted and I couldn’t have imagined getting through it without their help. 

“I’m sorry you have to wait a couple more months.” she whispered. 

“I’ve waited a lifetime for you. A couple more months won’t kill me.” I looked deep into her eyes so she could see that there was no fault in my words. I meant every single one of them. 

“Can I ask you something? It’s been on my mind for years.” she said in a curious tone. 

“Of course.” I said calmly.

“When you first shifted, what was it like?” I sat back and thought about the question for a minute. Every wolf is taught the ins and outs of their first shift but it’s nothing like actually going through it. The diagrams and the pictures are nothing compared to the pain that comes with your first transformation. The classes did get something right though, fighting the shift makes it worse. It’s the first thing they teach us in school and I'd be damned if they don’t reiterate it throughout the years. I wondered how to explain this without scaring her. My parents explained it to my sister and she was terrified of her first shift; she almost fought against it. Mother had to transform with her to show her how quick and easy it could be if she just gave in. Madelyn gave in and it was over within minutes and her wolf was truly amazing. A little brown wolf with our signature grey eyes.  

“I’ll be honest with you, it wasn’t the most pleasant experience. All your bones are breaking and rearranging at once, your skin is shredding off and fur is sprouting in its place, your teeth are sharpening to points, and your fingers are elongating into claws. Your natural instinct is to bear down and fight against the pain but It hurts like hell if you fight it, trust me. When it’s your time just give in to it and let your wolf through. What comes after is so worth it. Feeling the ground under your paws and the wind blowing through your fur as you run. It’s an experience unlike any other.” 

She nodded, seeming satisfied with my answer. The doctor came in before I could ask my next question. He stated that he’d like to keep her for a week under observation and then she’d be able to go. He’d already sent an omega to let her family know. He took her vitals and made sure she didn’t need anything then left. 

“Well I guess I'm stuck here for a bit.” She sighed and leaned back in her bed. 

I know she’s upset by this. Clearly she wants to get out of here but I couldn’t help the happiness I felt. This would make telling her that she would be staying in Autumn Moon a lot easier. Which I realized that her brother and I have failed to do. We haven’t fully figured out how to tell her she won’t be returning home. I know that I wanted to be there when they told her though. Whether or not she could feel the mate bond fully or not my presence may cushion the blow for her. Then I get the pleasure of telling her that her security measures will be doubling her time here. Barrett, Asher, and I are hand picking the best warriors to stay by her side until we know she’s safe and even after that. Until we pick ones we can trust with her life she’ll be staying under my protection or theirs. I have other duties to attend to but I plan to come be with her everyday until she’s released from the hospital. If I'm not here David, Enzo, Barrett, or Asher will be. We are at a bit of a disadvantage since we aren’t familiar with this Roland person who is threatening her. It would be easier if we were but at least this way we are on our guard even more. Barrett and Asher have already set up shop in their offices combing through our warriors dossiers to see who would best fit the post of being the Luna royal guard. I trusted them with my life so I knew I would be able to trust them with hers but I would have final say as to who would be guarding her. I was deep in thought and didn’t realize she’d been staring at me for a while. Those emerald green eyes staring at me with such curiosity. There’s no doubt she’ll be able to bring me to my knees with those eyes.  

“Where did you go just then?” She asked.

“Nowhere little wolf. I was just thinking about what the doctor said. Since you’ll be here for a bit I thought I'd come visit you everyday. Keep you company and all. Would that be alright?” She winced at my words and I thought maybe I had overstepped my bounds. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable with me. When she mentioned figuring out she was my mate I thought that she was open to that and to me. Looking at her now I think I may have gotten the wrong impression. I released her hand and rubbed the back of my neck. I need to tread lightly from here on out, she is clearly overwhelmed by everything that’s happened and I'm not really making it better. As hard as it’s going to be, maybe I shouldn’t spend everyday with her. Every other day should do just fine, I'd be able to keep an eye on her and satisfy my own need to be close to her at the same time. Barrett and Asher will still be here in my absence though, I won’t play fast and loose with her safety. 

“Hey?” She reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “I’ve never had much of a poker face. Don’t worry it’s not that I don’t want you to spend time with me. I’m happy to spend time with you and get to know you. It’ll make the mate bond that much stronger when I turn 18. It’s just the nickname you’ve given me.” I looked at her confused. “Little wolf. He calls me that and it honestly sends a shiver down my spine. That’s all, I promise.” Of course, that creep of a half-uncle or whatever he is to her calls her little wolf. No wonder she looks uncomfortable when I refer to her that way. How could I forget that? It must bring back the memories of him in her head declaring his intentions of sweeping her off into the night. He’s completely delusional to think that I would let her go without a fight. To think that any of us would let her go without a fight. I meant what I said to David, the pack and I will fight to the death for our Luna. Roland has another thing coming if he thinks we’ll let her go quietly. “Of course little.. Mi amor. I won’t refer to you that way again. I’m truly sorry I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. What do you say we finish our game?” I raised my eyebrows, smiled, and gave her hand a squeeze which earned me a smile in return.

Hours into our game I've found out a ton of interesting, funny, and menial things about her. I’ve also opened up more to her than I ever have with anyone. She makes it very easy to talk to her and you constantly find yourself revealing things you’ve never told anyone. It wasn’t long before we were sharing funny stories and secrets about our siblings that they would surely attempt murder if they found out we were sharing. She knows about the time that I scared Madelyn so bad that she flew backwards into a wall putting a Maddy sized hole in it. Then she spent the week learning the ins and outs of wall repair after my mom found the hole. And in return I know about the time their mother walked in on Kol about to shave all of David's hair off in his sleep as a revenge plot because David super glued Kol's hands together. Hearing the antics those three have gotten into over the years made me miss Madelyn even more. I could not wait for her to come home. I was more than happy for her when she got accepted into Oxford but found myself missing her every single day when she left. Valerie and I didn’t just share the funny moments in life, we shared all our dark spots as well. Nothing was darker for her than the night her mother died. It was hard watching her recount what she remembered from that night and the years after. From her recollection of what happened I could see why Robert went crazy with his children and packs security. A werewolves' most precious thing in life is his mate and when that’s taken a piece of your soul is taken with it. You never fully recover from the loss of someone so important to you. While my grandfather was on his deathbed he said “I’m glad your grandmother went before me. I wouldn’t want her to feel the pain I felt when she died.. The pain I feel now is nothing compared to that of losing my mate.”  Back then I didn’t understand what he meant and how he could possibly be happy that grandma wasn’t there to hold his hand through this. Now I get it- I would never want Valerie to feel the pain of losing me. It would rip my entire world apart to lose her but I'll shoulder that burden so she would never have to. Her father was one of the strongest people I knew to be able to go through what he went through. To live in constant fear of what would happen to his children if he let his guard down if even for a second. I don’t know what i’m going to do if she doesn’t take the news she won’t be returning home well. 

We spent days getting to know each other and her week of observation was coming to an end tomorrow. David and I discussed it and we are going to give her tomorrow to get settled but the day after; we are telling her that she’s not going home. Hopefully she enjoyed her day, I enlisted two of her favorite people to help her get packed up and discharged. I would spend the day making sure everything is set for her. I had the omegas set up the guest room down the hall from mine and stocking it with clothes and the necessities. The last thing to do is to finalize her security. Asher and Barrett have come through for me and narrowed it down to 4 wolves which I'll decide on.