Angel On Fire

Chapter Four

Song for this chapter: Happy - Julia Michaels

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I sat impatiently at the breakfast table. I didn't want anyone to feel my lack of patience, but I couldn't help it. I was in a deep urgency to see this man. I wondered - if my theory was correct - if he felt it too and that was why we received a new waiter.

I needed to stop thinking about it as much and spend time with my family. Although it was my birthday, this day was important to my family and I felt I was being a bit selfish. They didn't see me yesterday, and it was only fair that I gave this morning to them. That was all it was, a breakfast. I didn't need to be as impatient as I was being.

"It's such a nice day out, don't you think?" My mom asked me and I smiled at her. I hoped my smile wasn't as disingenuous as it was in my head.

"It's been a nice couple of days, actually. Did you guys go out yesterday?" I asked them. My siblings didn't seem to be paying attention to me, which was okay. My sister, Ally was fourteen years old, so she was still in that phase where the only thing that mattered was her phone. My brother, Haydon was a mere ten years old and was at that age where he would look over my sisters shoulder and read all her messages and then would proceed to tell me what was said between her and her friends as if I cared. But he was ten, and I was obligated to act shocked.

"Your father and I took a walk on the beach-"

"And we complained that you'd rather spend your birthday with Eloise than us." My dad joked and I rolled my eyes. My dad's jokes were very flow, but I pretended to find them funny anyway. He made an extra effort to joke with me, because he always tried to get an emotion out of me. It disappointed him when I didn't feel happy, and as much as he told me that it was okay that I couldn't feel human emotions, I knew that it disappointed him. There was nothing I could about it, unfortunately.

"Paul." My mom said and I laughed as I shook my head.

"It's okay, mom. I had a good day yesterday, though." I didn't know if I could call it a good day, but it was definitely a life changing day. I wished I could tell them about it, but that would just cause worry and they'd try to over analyze what happened, and I couldn't deal with that. I had Eloise's calm reactions for a reason.

"Ally, will you get off your phone?" My mom said and she huffed. As she did that, she noticed Haydon looking over her shoulder and she groaned loudly. A few people looked over at us, and my dad glared at both Haydon and Ally.

"Stop reading my messages." She switched her phone off and I reached my hand out.

"No." She said and I lowered my gaze at her. I had my ways of getting through to her, more than what my parents could. She and I both knew that it would be better if I took her phone than if my parents did. If they did, she'd never get it back and they'd proceed to check it as well. She was fourteen years old, they felt obligated to invade her privacy. I was at that age too, I knew what it was like and I hated it. I wasn't as bad as she was though. Nothing affected me, so I just did what I had to do in order to move on with my life. All it did was waste my time, but it never scared me like it did her. I supposed that was what happened when people could feel human emotion.

I wished I could.

"Ally." I said, giving her a knowing look. She sighed before turning her phone off all the way and handing it to me. I didn't know why she did that, because I wasn't the type to invade her privacy. Not that I cared, but Haydon told me all about her and her friends anyway. The truth was that she was a well raised kid, and her messages weren't as inappropriate as most kids her age. I thanked her and slid it into my back pocket.

"Anyway, you said you had a good day?" She crossed her arms and I looked at her with astonishment.

"You were listening?" That was rather surprising to me. I didn't think she paid attention to anything when she was on her phone.

"I have ears, Molly." She rolled her eyes at me and I couldn't help but smile.

"Just tell us about your day." Haydon said, his baby voice cutting through our silence. I loved my siblings. I often lived vicariously through them. I wanted to be them sometimes, especially Ally. She felt things and sometimes I wished that I could feel things the way that she felt things. She was so passionate and sometimes she felt things too deeply. She felt everything more deeply than the average person. She was an empath and I knew that it was hard for her sometimes, and that she wished she couldn't feel so many things. But something I always taught her was to embrace it, because I would give anything, absolutely anything to just feel something. I often reminded her that to feel things, was so beautiful to someone like me who constantly felt numb all the time. I couldn't say I even felt numb, I felt so far away from numb. I didn't feel an ounce of anything, that it wasn't even sadness or numbness. It was just absolutely nothing, and that was something I'd never wish on anyone - not even my worst enemy.