Desolate Night Talks

Chapter 7: Fracture

After that day, the female student could no longer view the male engineer as she once had. He had seemed to her a calm and profound figure, someone who had grasped the absurdity and emptiness of the world, a spiritual anchor she could rely on amidst her confusion. But the revelation of his true self shattered everything. He was nothing more than another person alienated by modern life, a hollow shell lost in desire and emptiness.

Her heart swelled with disappointment, anger, and pain. She no longer yearned for their late-night conversations or sought comfort in his words. Every time she saw his indifferent face, she felt a profound disgust, as though all those nights of dialogue had been nothing but lies masking his emptiness. Her trust and dependence now seemed like pathetic self-deception.

One night, unable to hold back any longer, she confronted him. “What do you even believe in? What do you think of life? Or does none of it matter to you? Are morality and values just meaningless words to you?”

The male engineer showed no reaction to her anger. He simply looked at her with calm detachment, his gaze tinged with a faint coldness, as though he were observing a naive child. He let out a soft chuckle, his tone laced with mockery and indifference.

“Morality? Values?” he repeated coldly, his voice devoid of warmth. “Those are just chains invented by this world to bind people. Humans cling to these illusions only to give themselves a reason to keep living. But do they truly exist? In this cold and ruthless society, who really cares about such things?”

A surge of anger rose within her, almost impossible to suppress. She had thought of him as a kindred spirit, someone struggling, questioning, and searching for genuine meaning in this modern world. But now she realized that what he had chosen was nothing but utter surrender—a burial of the self in emptiness and desire.

“Your so-called spiritual solace is just an escape,” he continued, his cold tone cutting like a blade. “None of us can escape the chains of reality. No matter how much you struggle, it’s all futile. What are you looking for from me? Comfort? Understanding? These are nothing but illusions you create to ease your pain.”

She felt a sharp ache in her chest, as if the man before her had become the embodiment of everything she loathed—a soul completely numbed and alienated by modern life. His abandonment of hope, his disdain for morality, and his indifference to her sincere emotions tore apart her last shred of trust in the world. She had once tried to find a glimmer of hope in his words, but now she understood that his so-called “insight” was merely complete moral decay.

“Is that truly what you believe?” she asked, her voice trembling with despair. “Do you really think everything is futile, that there’s no meaning to anything?”

He stared at her silently before letting out a cold laugh. “Yes. Meaning is just an illusion. People are nothing but walking corpses, manipulated by society’s rules and their own desires. Struggle and ambition are ultimately pointless. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and try.”

She was rendered speechless, consumed by a deep sense of loss and loneliness. She had thought their connection transcended worldly pretense, that it was rooted in genuine understanding. But now she saw that his detachment, indulgence, and so-called “awareness” were merely veils to hide his self-abandonment. He had long since given up on life, and to him, she was nothing more than a foolishly persistent child, deluding herself in her pain.

She stepped back, her voice weak but resolute. “If that’s all you see in life, then we have nothing in common. You may have given up on the world, but I haven’t. I’m still searching for meaning, and all you’ve chosen is to escape into nothingness.”

He didn’t respond, merely continuing to gaze at her with a cold pity, as though watching a child who didn’t yet understand the world.

That night, she felt the connection between them shatter completely. She no longer sought solace in his words, nor did she wish to see him again. The encounter left her in an even darker state of despair, her mental state further deteriorating. Yet, within her, a stubborn spark remained. She refused to sink entirely, even though her path ahead was still riddled with uncertainty.

She began to understand that true growth wasn’t about relying on a spiritual “mentor,” but about facing life’s challenges on her own, no matter how painful or confusing. She realized she had to find her own answers and stop hoping for anyone else to guide her.