Chapter twenty-five
1188 Words
A few days later...
That night, Moha was right to wonder what the future might hold for them, for in the days that followed, he and Ndeye began to drift apart, albeit for different reasons than they thought. Moha was running away from Ndeye to prevent himself from committing a crazy thing that could drive them apart forever because without understanding why his desire for her had suddenly increased tenfold. He couldn't be in the same place as her without wanting to jump on her, his mind invaded by thoughts that were not at all catholic, borderline insane, and completely losing control, both he and Aras. He had almost taken action the day after Ma'Khady's arrival.
Indeed, after spending a sleepless night thinking about it, he had finally resolved to go and see Ndeye, not wanting to leave her in the dark and watch her walk away from him. So he went to his room as soon as he had finished getting ready in the morning. It was with surprise that he found her door ajar, but out of respect for Ndeye's privacy, he refrained from entering and knocked on the door, calling out to her without any answer. Only when, after a few minutes of waiting, he heard nothing and got no answer, he began to worry and as he was about to enter, the door opened on Ndeye who seemed to be coming out of her bath, her hand in her wet hair, wearing a bathrobe that revealed more than it hid. She seemed to him, thus dressed, so innocent, beautiful, and desirable that he did not know at what moment she found herself with her back against the wall, his hands on either side of her head holding her captive. Before he knew what was happening, he saw herself leaning in with the obvious intention of kissing her, acting without control over his actions, like a puppet despite the fear he saw in her face. He even heard her speak but her voice seemed so far away that he could not hear her clearly, let alone understand what she was saying. All that mattered was to satisfy this desire that was more than consuming him from the inside. His right hand came to rest on Ndeye's neck, which he squeezed lightly, while his left hand then lowered to the edge of her dressing gown, under which he passed, bringing back such bad memories to her that she couldn't help but burst into tears, fearing that history was repeating itself for her. It was only when he saw her crying and begging that he was able to pull himself together and let her go before they fell to the ground, he with his head between his hands and she with her hands on his neck, crying. He could not believe how close he had come to making her relive his nightmare, a puppet of his surprising and monstrous desire. She couldn't believe it either, but she knew curiously that it wasn't his fault, he hadn't done it on purpose, because if there was one thing she had noticed, it was that his eyes were neither blue nor yellow as they could have been, they were slightly black. Only, before she could speak, Moha got up and left the room as if he had the devil on his tail, after having apologized.
Following this incident, he began to avoid her fearing that he would find himself in a similar situation again and that this time he would not be able to control himself and would hurt her unconsciously because he could never forgive himself. Ndeye, who had put the incident behind her, did not understand why Moha seemed to be bothered by her presence at his side, unbearable by her presence, whereas it was quite the opposite with Ma'Khady, who practically spent all day with him without anyone mentioning it.
Could it be that Ma'Khady had managed to achieve her goal in such a short time?
To be sure, Ndeye decided to go and see Moha, who was supposed to be in his office, to clear things up over a chat. Only when she got to his office did she find the door open and venture inside. What she saw left her speechless. If seeing Moha let Ma'Khady interfere in his daily life to the point of hugging him, sitting on him, helping him dress and many other things had hurt her a lot, seeing them kissing was the last straw. Feeling tears welling up in her eyes, she ran to her room where she threw herself on her bed, bursting into tears.
_ Is that Ma'Khady again? asked Fa'Bintou, who was standing right next to the bed, having entered the room without her realizing it.
_ I... What are you doing here? Ndeye replied in surprise, rising to sit down.
_ That's not the point. Am I right or not, Ndeye?
_ Yes, it's because of her.
_ But why? Why do you run away every time?
_ I... So you knew all along.
_ I did. I thought it was up to you to deal with it on your own, but from what I can see, you're not strong enough yet.
_ What can I do? He does prefer her to me, right?
_ Where did you get that from?
_ He's been running away from me for days now, even though he spends most of his days with her by his side.
_ That's what she wanted you to think and from what I can see, she succeeded.
_ What about the times I found her sitting on top of Moha, helping him get dressed, hugging him, and now kissing him?
_ And did you follow through all those times? Did you just try to do something to stop them from happening? No.
_ For your information, after you ran off earlier thinking you saw them kissing when they weren't, Moha threw Ma'Khady out of his office almost bullying her, angry that she might have tried to kiss him.
_ I...
_ Everything you saw was staged, Ma'Khady's attempts at kissing Moha. If he is running away from you, understand that it is not because of her but because of the incident you told me about.
_ .... What do you mean? I told him I didn't blame him.
_ But he was afraid that something worse would happen to you. I also found out that he was not himself that day. He was under a spell whose purpose was to separate you. And who among us could want that?
_ ..... Ma'Khady!
_ So running away every time will not help. You have to make Moha understand that you are not angry with him, that he is not a danger to you, and you have to do it as soon as possible or you will end up losing him for real.
_ But how?
_ Break the ice, tell him about your past, your secrets, your fears. Tell him how you feel. Close the chapter on the past and start afresh with him.
- Writer
