A gentle love

Episode 1

It was almost six o'clock in the afternoon, and Julian hurried home with his shopping bags. His mother didn't like it when Julian was late, and Julian didn’t like it when his mother was angry.

Fortunately, he was close and when he turned around the corner he saw the familiar path leading to their one-story house. It was by no means new. The plaster was already falling off in several places, and the roses, once planted by his mother, now disappeared behind layers of weeds and dead leaves.

Julian's mother hadn't taken care of the garden for a long time, and Julian didn't have the time or energy to take care of the garden himself. Fortunately, their house did not stand out in the once picturesque, now declining neighbourhood.

He hurried into the hall and was relieved to find that he had five minutes left.

“Julian? Is that you?” came from the living room.

“Yes mother, I just came home.” replied Julian. Mother, not mom. The distinction was very intentional in Julians head, as the more familiar address was saved for the woman his mother once was.

“So move a little! I don't like to wait.” said his mother.

Julian sighed sadly. What did he expect? Excited greetings? Those hadn’t come for several years now.

He took the shopping bags to the kitchen but decided not to unpack them until he fully took care of his mother. So first he set up for tea and then took out a box of medicines from the top of the cupboard. He carefully took out the pills and put them into the dispenser according to the prescribed amount. He did this for so long that he didn't even need the layout that was pasted on the fridge anymore.

Julian poured the tea and with a glass of water stacked everything on a tray and then, with a deep breath, headed for the living room. His mother lay on the gray worn out sofa under a thin blanket, staring into space.

However, as soon as she heard footsteps, her eyes shot toward Julian. "Where have you been for so long? I hope you didn't mess with that Luke again."

"No mother, I was in the library the whole day. Then I went to buy some groceries.” Julian replied as passively as possible as not to give his mother any excuse to blow up.

It would now be three years since Julian's father died. He and his mother never had a good relationship, but without his father, his mother got worse. Her outbursts of rage were now even more unpredictable, and Julian tried to keep their contact to a minimum. "Only one more year!" he thought to himself.

That was the plan. To finish highschool and go as far as possible. Where? Julian didn't know that yet. Maybe to New York, where his paternal grandmother lives. They had not seen each other since his father died, but hopefully she wouldn't have rejected her only grandson, right? But truth be told, Julian didn't really care at that point. He just really needed to be away from the place he hated so much.

As soon as his mother swallowed the last pill, Julian picked up everything he needed and, without a word, quickly left the living room.

It was already dark outside when he finally got to his room and was able to close the door behind him. Here in his room he finally felt comfortable. It was the only place where he didn't have to look over his shoulder because of his mother, or his classmates.

Despite the used furniture, he considered his room to be rather cosy. Opposite the bed was a small bookcase with a lamp and an armchair in the corner of the room. Old posters of UCLA were still, although barely, hanging on the walls. It was a bitter reminder of old times and dreams that Julian still couldn't entirely give up.

Lots of fairy lights were hung up on a window next to his desk. But today, Julian didn't feel like turning them on. The gloomy rainy weather of the coming autumn only intensified his melancholic mood, so he decided to just play some slow rock and start with one of the many books he had scavenged and read over the years. Today might be a good day for The Wuthering Heights.

As Julian reached for the book, a passing car illuminated his window, stopping at the neighbours across the street.

He quickly dived into the story, enjoying the silence which was interrupted only by the gentle drumming of raindrops falling on the window panes. Although many people do not like such weather, there was something attractive about it to Julian.

It was almost midnight when he realized that he should probably go to bed as soon as possible if he didn't want to miss the first day of the new school year. As he closed the book and turned off the lamp so he could change, Julian looked absentmindedly from the window, only just now noticing the car that had previously disturbed his contemplation. Despite the heavy rain, it was obvious at first glance that its owner did not live in this part of the city. The sporty polished black car looked more than luxurious. “Poor thing, maybe he's lost.” Julian joked in his mind and drew the curtains.

Today was a challenging day. Maybe it was the weather. For Julian, autumn always awakens ancient memories. Memories of the time when he had loved ones around him, when he could lean on them and not worry about what tomorrow would bring. Of the time when having big dreams made sense.

But that time is long gone and there is no point in dwelling on it. The important thing now is to focus on the last achievable dream he has left. Graduate and walk away from Sully and never come back.