When War Meets Love

Selma Was Moses

The next morning, I woke up with an intense feeling of excitement; I had this burst of confidence like I was ready to conquer the world.

After finishing my regular morning routine, I packed my swimsuit in my bag and kept making sure that I really did put it there. (I checked once after watching the morning news with grandma and then another two times after breakfast.) The swimsuit is a really beautiful piece. It is a dark blue one-piece that fits snug to my body like a second skin.  Swimming alone in an empty room made me feel comfortable enough to wear it, as I wouldn't exactly like being seen in it by any of the students, as showing skin was not something I was accustomed to.

I glanced down at the outfit I chose to wear for the day.  I had on a black hoodie that said 'Born to rock and roll' and jeans that were ripped at the bottom, matched with a pair of black boots. I shrugged nonchalantly, not really making my fashion sense a priority, and decided to let my hair cascade freely down my back in slight waves.

After checking my reflection for one more time, I trod down the stairs to the kitchen to make a plate of scrambled eggs for grandma and me.  I was happy that we finally had a stocked kitchen again. While the eggs were cooking on the stove, I packed a cheese sandwich as my lunch for school and then placed a bowl of last night’s carrot soup in the microwave for grandma to have for dinner. Since I am going to be swimming this afternoon, I will be late and I don’t want grandma getting hungry. Plus, the last thing I want is for her to try and cook something by herself.

And for this particular reason, I always turn off the propane tank under the stove just in case. Why? You might ask. Because one time, during summer, I was working overtime and came home late. When I arrived home, the air inside was heavy with smoke thick enough to choke her. I found out that grandma, who had tried to prepare baked potatoes, had forgotten her food in the oven, almost burning the house down. 

She was fine, thankfully, but her little stunt not only burned the food; but made the house smell like smoke for weeks after I spent days scrubbing it clean. It was one of the worst weeks of my life.

I shook my head, ridding myself of that memory. It was over, and I learned from it, that is what's important. I grabbed two plates from the cupboard and filled them up with eggs and placed them on a tray along with grandma’s glass of water and her morning pills.

“Morning grandma, how are you today?” I greeted her warmly, placing the plate of eggs in front of her.

“Good, my love. What’s this? It smells nice,” she complimented sweetly. I sighed happily at her while she breathed in the scent of her fried breakfast. 

This moment right here is my happy place.

“Scrambled eggs made with two big spoons of milk, just the way you like it.” I watched her take a small bite and nibble on it. Enjoying the taste, she chewed the rest of her food hungrily, and I did the same. It warmed my heart to see her eat with an appetite. Her weight loss was worrying me, but I think it won't be too long before she gains that weight back. She seems to be healthy recently. 

When we were done with breakfast, I piled the dirty dishes in the sink and quickly washed them. Grabbing my bag, I went to give grandma a hug. “I’m going to be an hour late today, maybe be back around, I don't know, five? Six o'clock? But do not worry, if you get hungry; I left a bowl of soup in the microwave, just press the little button that reads ‘START’ when you want to heat it up.” I kissed her forehead. “Be careful, okay?” I half-pleaded.

She pursed her lips in annoyance and waved her hands in front of her. “Just go, I’m not a little kid, I’m 48 years old, I can take care of my own business.” She folded her arms in front of her chest, "and I can surely make dinner, it is not like I haven't done it before." I chuckled at her, subtly shaking my head. Only she would think she was 48.

Just then, I heard Julian honk the horn of his car outside my door. Oh crap, that must mean I am running late. I quickly said goodbye again and hastily swung the door behind me, running to the blue car parked outside; a car I have grown extremely fond of.

Selma was occupying the passenger seat, the only expected behavior, leaving me no other choice but to sit back. “Hey,” I greeted. They simultaneously replied back with a ‘hey’, but one was slightly more enthusiastic than the other.

“Did you pack your swimsuit, Lia?” Julian asked, excitement visible in his voice.  

I grinned, matching his level of excitement. “Wouldn’t forget it for the world. It is sitting right here in my bag.”

“Try not to drown though, no one will be able to hear you there for them to save you.” Selma kindly retorted.

I scoffed and Julian shook his head at her in disappointment. Yes, discipline her, please.

“What, why are you looking at me like that? I’m just giving her solid advice. It’s true! No one can hear her in there!” I was surprised not because she said that but because she slipped and said it in front of Julian.

Showing your true colors, Selma?

But Julian, the best friend he is, was quick to defend me. "Well, I am thankful for your concern Selma, but Audelia happens to be a really skillful swimmer. I doubt she will have any drowning incident of that kind to begin with - so it does not matter." He glanced at her briefly, secretly telling her to quiet down.

I sat the rest of the way to school in the back seat, a smug smirk sitting comfortably on my lips. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we got to school, the first thing I did was head off to Mr. Reeges' class - more like I sprinted to his class. Maths was not in my schedule today but I wanted to tell him the good news and I couldn't be patient enough to wait for recess. 

Here is the deal.

Yesterday night I was laying in my bed and I thought about all of the events that happened that day, replaying them all in my head. One of the things I reflected on was the whole tutoring deal. After giving it some deep thought, I decided to give it a chance. I reckoned Julian had a point and that I should be saying yes to more opportunities. And what better opportunity to seize than this one? 

And as much as it pains me, I admit that I have to step out of my comfort zone. I mean, if not now, when? I don't want to end up like some old, boring woman who gets a job at a financing firm, punching numbers into a computer screen, hiding behind a desk covered with pictures of her twenty cats. I shuddered thinking about it, spending the rest of my years in a cubicle, relying on coffee to get me through the day, battling the stench of smoke and tacky air fresheners. I have not decided what my plan for the future is yet, but there is no question that that is not it. I craved a job that was more interesting, something that will land my name in the books and make me look like a hero in the eyes of those who know me - which I hope are more than just Julian and Selma. 

And I have reached an acceptance that the only way to actualize that vision was to have some guts. Try something new, even if it looks scary at first. I will never know how it is unless I try it, and I am willing to try. 

On another note, I also assumed it would help me get my mind off last night's scare at the supermarket. I could still sense the way my skin crawled when I felt someone watching me like I was, a... a prey. I was being hunted down. My stomach churned just thinking about it. I wasn’t strong enough to fight a stalker and I kept thinking about how my grandma and I and how we could never defend ourselves against such dangerous people. Grandma can barely lift herself up and the only nearest thing I had close to a weapon was grandma's cane. I'm pretty sure that only knocks down infants, but let us not go there...

So to push these negative, and slightly inappropriate, thoughts aside, I took the decision to busy myself with other people’s troubles. Like the troubles of the foreign student whom I have volunteered to take care of for the upcoming period. 

I knocked twice on the wooden door of the class, waiting to hear a response. As soon as Mr. Reeges called out, “come in,” I opened the door wide enough to stick my head in. “Can I speak with you Mr. Reeges?”I asked, my voice quivering slightly. 

“Yes, of course, Miss Warrick, come on in,” he politely welcomed, ushering me inside.

I closed the door behind me and took a seat near him, preparing myself mentally to deliver the news. 

"What is the matter Miss Warrick? Did you come to inquire about the exam assigned for next week?" he adjusted his glasses, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

I shook my head, "no, not about the exam," I chuckled awkwardly.  “I just wanted to stop by and tell you that in case you haven’t picked a student yet for the tutoring job, I would like to fill in the spot of accompanying the foreign student.”

I jumped at the sudden echoing sound of Mr. Reeges clapping his hands together victoriously. “That is some great news Audelia! I will inform Mrs. Guiana immediately of your decision. Oh, and since you are the first - and frankly most qualified – student, then you will officially be the one to attend to that task. I will make sure of it. So, I will meet with you first thing Monday morning to introduce you to the student and give you any necessary information you might need for this project.” He was so genuinely happy, I couldn't help but be flattered by his enthusiasm. 

I exhaled a shaky breath, not knowing whether I’ll be regretting this later on or not. Nonetheless, I thanked Mr. Reeges and excused myself to go to my biology class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few boring school hours later, I found myself inhaling small gulps of air in front of the natatorium, eying the pool that stretched out across the large room. I kept thinking what if someone barged in here and wanted to join me? Would I get in trouble? What if I really do drown and no one would be able to hear me, just like Selma said? Is the water even sanitary? How do I know no one urinated in this? I gasped. Would Coach Michael do it?

A large hand on my shoulder made me yelp in surprise and jump four feet in the air. “NO PEE!” I shouted, not really thinking about how clever my choice of words was. I spun around quickly, my skin was paler than usual, and my fists were up in a pathetic defense mechanism.

And there he was, the jerk who sent my soul to heaven and back to my body is doubled on the floor, clenching his stomach, unable to take a breath because his organs are too busy convulsing with laughter. I rolled my eyes, trying not to let his contagious laugh affect me while I was trying to steady the fast pace of my heartbeats.

Heaving, hand on his chest, Julian gasped, “Why…Oh my…Wh-” and he repeated the cycle of guffawing and wheezing. I waited, annoyed yet slightly amused, watching him gasp for air so he could form a coherent sentence. “Are...oh god, are you okay?” He wiped his tearful eyes and placed his hands on his knees, finally able to look at me.

I was aware I have turned red in embarrassment and had turned my body to the left, avoiding eye contact. “I’m fine, I’m feeling fantastic,” I muttered in annoyance. I felt him move from his spot and step behind me, his body towering over mine. He placed his big hands on my waist firmly and began swaying my hips from side to side playfully.

Well, that’s certainly not going to help me control my frantic palpitation.

“Lia, I’m sorry for scaring you like that. I just wanted to make sure the doors to the pool weren’t locked and that you were able to make it in here. I also had to make sure that you didn’t chicken out at the last moment.” His warm breath hit the back of my neck, making me shiver involuntarily. Afraid of what I might say, I only replied with a nod.

He turned my body around so I could face him. I was looking at my shoes, but my vision was soon projected to his pretty hazel eyes when he placed his hand softly under my chin. “So... do you accept my apology, Lia?” he asked with wide, kind eyes. At this point, I was basically putty in his hands.

Don’t tell Selma about this, or I will hunt you down.

I cleared my throat. “Yes, I forgive you. I do.” I internally giggled at these words, wishing I get the chance to say them again one day.

Did I just think that? Get a grip Audelia, yeesh.

He smiled, making me mirror his actions. “Good, now wear your swimsuit.”

I blushed, even more, confused by his request. “But… not like, in front of you…right?” I stammered. He couldn’t possibly mean that, I mean we are close but not that close.

He shook his head, chuckling in amusement. “I’ll turn around, of course. I just want to see you in the water before I go to practice, is all.” Oh...

I straightened my shoulders. I guess that won’t be so bad. I trust him enough, anyway. “Okay, then turn around. And if you try to take a peek, I will personally inform Selma and help her plan your murder.” That earned me another chuckle from him. “Don’t take my threats lightly,” I warned. I wanted him to take me seriously, but I can barely kill a fly and he knows that.

With shaking hands, I pulled out my suit from my bag and waited for Julian to turn around before proceeding. Taking off my boots and hoodie was easy, but the hard part was taking off the rest. I unbuckled my jeans and pulled them down my legs as fast as I could, almost tripping over my feet.

"Careful there. You wouldn't want to fall in the pool n***d, now? It would be really awkward to save you then," he teased.

I scoffed and plunged my jeans onto Julian’s head as soon as I caught his head moving. "You wish, you perverted jerk," I retorted.  He reacted to my super awesome ninja skills with yet another snicker, making me grin like the fool I am. As quickly as possible, I stripped off my underwear, suddenly more aware of the edge of the pool, and moved further from it. I put on the blue swimsuit, stretching the fabric to cover my body. It was nice and snug on my skin. 

I stuffed my clothes in my bag and used my hair to cover the front of my body, as the suit let some cleavage show, resembling sunlight peeping through drapes. I cleared my throat, cueing that it was safe for Julian to look at me now. 

And I swore it was like it all happened in slow motion.

Julian turned around, smirking at first, only to drop the smirk when his eyes landed on me. Specifically; on my body. I followed his wandering bright eyes as they were roaming my body like a scanner, starting from my toes to my legs, reaching my waist then creating up until they reached my breasts. Bit by bit, Julian was observing each inch of my body. My body's temperature rose underneath his intense lustful stare and I had felt the urge to jump into the pool to cool myself down. I didn’t know whether to feel flattered or embarrassed, but I was a bit of both.

He took a few steps closer to me as his eyes connected to mine. They were speaking lengths, signaling something to me, yet I couldn’t decipher their message. His hazel eyes were staring at me with such intensity, his mouth agape as if he was trying to say something but was re-thinking it. 

"Wow", he finally breathed. I almost gasped at how close his body was now. He glanced once more at my body and rose his hand to gently stroke my hair. He twirled a strand of hair around his finger, intertwining them together in a soft manner. He breathed heavily and his breath smelled like peppermint, making my mouth water. His eyes traveled from my hair to my eyes then lingered on my lips. I couldn't help but glance at his lips too, entertaining the thought of kissing him. “Lia, you are so beautiful. I -”

“What are you two doing?” a female voice boomed like thunder, causing us to bolt and split miles apart just like the red sea did for Moses. We were the Red Sea and Selma was Moses. And she was fuming; to say the least.

Between the two of us, Julian was the most experienced in the field of monster taming, and so he spoke first. “Uh, nothing babe, I came here to make sure Audelia was ready to swim,” he shrugged. I think he did a decent job. Adding the word ‘babe’ was a good try to cool her down. Yet, her lips were still pursed tight together and her nostrils flared. Oops. This dragon is about to roar.

“You expect me to believe that damn lie! I saw you with my own eyes, you were about to fricking kiss her! I can’t believe you-you know what, we are over, Julian, OVER!” Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was so distressed, the vein in her neck was visible whilst she was yelling. She did not give any of us a chance to explain, let alone time to react, for she stormed out of the room, her heels grazing the tile floor.

We were in shock, speechless at first until we took a second to process what had happened. It was like we were locked in a trance that if not for Selma breaking it, who knows what would have happened. Was Julian really about to kiss me? Would I have let him? I suddenly felt grateful that she stopped us when she did. But not grateful that it was her who had to do it and witness it all. Now she thinks Julian is cheating on her, and with me of all people!

I could not allow her to leave with that in her head. She would destroy me. Plus I feel bad for her, in a way. I grabbed Julian’s shoulders and shook them violently. “You have to go after her right now and explain what really happened. Tell her that you were picking a spider out of my hair and I was frozen in place or whatever. Skip practice if you have to,  just go after her. I can’t let you two split up just because of a misunderstanding. The last thing I want is to cause a breakup.” He blinked at me, still somewhat confused. He took some time to process what I had said but then nodded in determination before running out of the natatorium to catch up to Selma.

I inhaled then exhaled. I did it again. I repeated the process. Then again. Then once more.

How ironic is it that when Julian suggested I swim to relieve stress, it ended up adding heaps more of that onto my plate? I never thought I would be a threat to Julian and Selma’s relationship. But I’m sure she will understand that it was all in her head. I paced the floor, tugging at my hair. Yeah, it’s all in her head. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and him. We’re just friends and she should know that. 

Then why did it look like he was about to kiss me? Does he like me like that? In a more than friendly kind of way?

I regret thinking that. I don’t want to think about that. He is my best friend and that is all, nothing more. 

I decided to swim to clear my head. I should swim. I mean that’s what I actually came here to do - and to not wreck homes. I skipped the whole ‘sticking the big toe in the water to find it freezing’ step and instead just dove right in. Yes, obviously it was cold, but I quickly got accustomed to it and just swam, pushing my feet and arms to stride from one end of the pool to the other.

I felt a bit calmer, lighter, and safer. It was like the water hugged me in its arms and lifted all the weight off my shoulders, stroking my hair reassuringly and making me believe everything was alright. For a moment, all my worries vanished and I forgot about the previous events. I focused on the movement of my body, mimicking the soft ripples that unfolded with every touch and vanished for the next one to rise.

My mind was somewhere else, like it liquefied and dissolved, joining the water to dance around my body. My thoughts were everywhere yet nowhere. Existent yet ethereal. 

This sensation gave me a notion of Deja Vu. I remembered the last time I was in a pool. I was at Julian's house, and even though I do not want to think about Julian right now, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about that day. I was wearing a swimsuit similar to this one, but considering I still didn't reach this level of puberty, I was less self-conscious than now. I was a good swimmer, as Julian had taught me before. He taught me to dive, and flip, and float on the surface of the water. He was so trusting, I was positive he would not let me drown.  

It was specifically hot that day, and the sun was beaming down on us. We decided to spend that summer day in the pool, and so I ran home to get the swimsuit his mother bought me and ran back to his home... 

"Audelia, I bet you one dollar that you cannot hold your breath as long as I can," little Julian challenged.

I scoffed, crossing my arms in front of me. "Oh, you're on. You better say bye to that dollar. Oh, and, if I win, you have to let me play that shooting game you always play with Adam and Billy," I huffed. He never let me play with them, saying it was a boy's game and I had to play other girl games. But I'll show him now.

"Okay. You have yourself a deal," he agreed. We shook hands, sealing the deal. "On the count of three, we go into the water. Our eyes have to be open so we can see who won," he added. 

I nodded. "Sure."

"One..." he began.

"Two," I continued.

"Three!" we shouted simultaneously. 

We dunked ourselves underneath the water. After two minutes of staring at each other, I stuck my tongue out at him. He scowled, and I could see him struggle. I shrugged my shoulders, showing him that I was doing fine. The moment he caved in and swam up to catch air, I felt victory. I swam up to see him and rub it in his face. "Ha! I told you I would win," I boasted.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he mumbled, "I let you win."

I scoffed. "Liar!" I splashed his face with water, and he splashed me back before we turned it into a playful water fight. 

Catching our breaths, he asked me, "Audelia. Do you think we are going to be friends forever?"

I frowned, not expecting his question. I grinned at him, then splashed water at him again. "Of course I do. We are Julian and Aduelia. Best friends forever!"

I sighed, smiling at the fond memory. 

I must have been in this blissful state of mind for hours because as soon as I emerged out of the water, I had a gut feeling something was wrong.

Call it my spider senses, but I ran to my bag, almost slipping, and fetched for my phone. My blood ran cold when I saw the time was almost five-thirty.

Panicking, I changed my clothes at the speed of light and ran out into the hallway. Julian told me he was going to leave the backdoor open for me. I didn’t want to disturb him and Selma any more than I did, and so I ran home.

I ran with whatever energy I had. I tried calling grandma but she wouldn’t answer her phone. Tears clouded my vision but I blinked them away, refusing to slow down while running. I wanted to curse my luck and cry, but I forced myself to stay strong. I shouldn’t be worried. She must be napping. She ate her carrot soup, and she took a nap. Or the volume of the television was too high and she couldn’t hear me call.  

Choosing the latter, I tried calling her again. Still no answer.

I pushed my legs faster, and swung my arms beside me, trying my best to avoid hitting any passersby. I ignored the burning sensation in my lungs and only thought of grandma’s safety. I finally reached home, the soles of my feet have melted away at the concrete, and my wet hair looked like wet shrubs. This must be karma coming at me for breaking Julian up with Selma. 

I already had my keys in my pocket and was about to reach for them when I noticed the door was ajar. My heart stopped working then and there. Shoving the door open all the way, I sprinted inside the house frenziedly. “Grandma? Are you home?” No answer. I was going to throw up. 

“Is anyone here!?” I yelled and started frantically searching every room in the house, yearning to see her in one of them. Reaching the last room in the house; my bedroom, I whispered, “please grandma, be here…” but when I opened the door and entered the room...it was empty.

I couldn’t suppress the sob that escaped my mouth, nor the other louder ones that followed it. As light as I felt in that pool moments ago, I felt a thousand times heavier now.    

Like a madwoman, I got out of the house and took off running. Since I didn’t bump into her during my run from school, then she must be on the other side of the neighborhood; maybe she went to the park.

I picked myself up and just sprinted. I crossed the street then took a sharp left, looking left and right for an elderly woman wearing a pink wool jacket. I wept but kept running. I cursed myself for not locking the door after me this morning and kept looking. People were looking at me like I was crazy when I asked them if they had seen my grandma.

It was getting dark, and I was gradually losing hope with every passing hour. My heart sank and I was heavy with despair and melancholy. I couldn’t take another step and I was barely able to drag my feet home. I plopped myself on the couch, hugging the pillow that grandma rests her beautiful head on. It smelled just like her, the faint smell of lavender. I informed the police a while ago but they said they had to wait 48 hours until they filed a missing person report, which resulted in me saying a few unkind words to them. Who knows what could happen to her by then?

I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. I couldn’t protect the only person in my life. The only family I had left. If anything happened to her, I wouldn’t deserve to live. I swore to be with her at all times, but where was I? Swimming in a pool without a damn care. How fricking selfish of me.

I buried my miserable body into the sofa and sobbed and sobbed into the pillow until it was soaked with my salty tears. I grew more and more tired with every bone-shaking sob and felt myself drifting off to sleep.  

The last thought I had before I crossed the bridge of slumber was: 

Oh grandma, please don’t you leave me too.