Married To You?

Tripping Over Toys & All That Shiz

Unable to handle Qasim's scrutinizing gaze-it was as if he was trying to solve the amazing puzzle that is me - I decided to go upstairs before I have to regret another rant.

I knew he was hurt that I walked off without saying why but I just agreed to marry him...

I could see it in his face, hurting me too for some reason.

But that was the only thing I could do if I wanted to look at least a little bit decent in front of him, because I just had this foreboding sense that I would lose it and just go crazy in front of him.

I don't actually know why I said yes. I mean, just because he asked me what I wanted doesn't really mean he's the best man to ever walk in my life, but it's just that instinct I had. I just felt in my heart that he was the one Allah wanted me to live with as his wife. His WIFE? I feel afraid of that word, even though I will become one soon enough.

"Khadijah, can you come downstairs?" Zohrah screamed from the bottom of the stairs.

I just wince when I realize he had to ask Zohrah to call me back down!

"Coming!" I screamed back, walking down the stairs.

Not looking where I was going, I skipped down the stairs and lucky me, I tripped over one of Umar's baby games. Wait for it, I was waiting for the pain but it didn't even come, before I could come crashing down like the clumsy fool I am I could feel someone's arms wrapping themselves around me preventing the fall. I held onto their arms and glanced up feeling the god-damn blush claim their territory on my face yet again thanks to Qasim being the hero. Obviously! This must be the part where I decide to embarrass myself.

I could feel my cheeks go beetroot-red as I held on to his arms as if I would faint, which I would out of embarrassment!

His arms were wrapped around me, my arms limp around his neck and our faces a breath away. I couldn't help but notice he had gold flecks in his eyes moulding themselves against the hazel hues of his eyes.

He grinned slyly and then stepped back steadying me making me drop my arms down to my side.

"Let's go outside in the garden for a walk, shall we?" He asked.

"Hmm, come on" I whispered shyly- feeling more aware of the fact that he's the man I might spend the rest of my life with.

He stepped forward, brushing the back of his hand on my cheek, "Glad I can make you blush!" He whispered, his lips brushing my nose.

Walking around him and off the stairs , "Let's go, shall we? For that walk?"

Laughing, he stepped off the last few stairs. "Of course."

"Why did you go upstairs?" he asked the anticipated question while walking down the path into the greener part of the garden.

"I... I just felt like I was going to do something stupid or embarrassing in front of you and I didn't want to do that so I walked off. I'm sorry, I know I hurt you but I felt shy. I just didn't know what else to do."

I looked at his face and was not that surprised to see him peering down at me.

"I'm not going to ask more about it but I want to play twenty questions with you now."

"Twenty questions, isn't that something for a first date or something?"

"This is our first date." He grinned.

"Uh-uh, yeah,sure it is."

"Okay, let's start with the simple questions, shall we ?"

"What is your favourite colour?" Qasim asked me genuinely interested.

"Green-a teal-y green not your generic green" I stated.

"Ahh, that's different. I was expecting something like pink or purple!" He admitted.

"Well, your future wife ain't no girly girl!" I teased.

He laughed, " Uhuh, my future wife ain't no girly gal, yeah?"

"Yeah, you got that right!"

"So what's yours?" I asked wanting to know some things about my future husband apart from the fact that he can get me blushing in a blink.

"My favourite colour? It's blue, the colour in your hijab. To be honest, it was my favourite colour the second you walked into the living room looking a bit dazed." He answered, staring deep in my eyes as if he could see everything going through my mind and heart, Allah help me if that was true.

I blushed, "Okay. Can you stop staring? And it's your turn to ask a question."

"Okay, I'll try to stop but it's not guaranteed. And the question is, how long have you been thinking of getting married, not to anyone in particular?" He asked.

"Uh, I've liked the idea of marriage since I was fifteen but getting married, myself, that came into my mind at eighteen. All the details, of what I would wear, how we would celebrate, stuff like that I would get excited about but the groom was always a big question mark, but now, you erased that question mark and filled out all the blanks."I answered as honestly as I could.

"Why did you want to marry me? I mean it's not as if I'm gorgeous to wake up to every morning until the end of your life" I asked, wanting to really know the answer.

"Khadijah, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I'd be honoured to see your face until my last breath. I don't want to hear you demeaning yourself when you are so pretty I'm still questioning why you said yes to getting married to me. I wanted to marry you because I've heard so much good things about you; the amount of effort and hard work you put in to getting your degree, working hard as a Muslim girl when your family's so judgmental and so much more. I can totally see you helping me with my work and still flop down to watch some cartoons . You are a perfect mix of maturity and childishness and I'm excited for our future together.. You will be the most perfect wife and you'll be mine to help complete half my deen (religion) In Sha Allah."

"Uh, oh crap, this is getting way too much way too early." There was nothing more I wanted to do than hug him as tight as I could so I settled for stepping back at least three steps, I could see understanding shine through Qasim's eyes leading him to step back too.

"Can't seem to stay away from me, can you? You made me grab you when falling down the stairs, who skips down the stairs anyway?" He grinned, teasing me.

"Hey, I didn't tell you to grab me and you saved me from dying or at least getting knocked out for a day or two so take that as your good deed for the day!" I grinned.

"My future wife isn't a damsel in distress, you definitely wouldn't have got knocked out and that proves I'll be there when you fall!"He argued with determination.

I just groaned. When he calls me "his future wife", it makes my heart skip a beat or two making me want to do nothing more than hugging him and feel his silky-looking curly hair.

"KHADIJAH, QASIM! COME INSIDE!" Zohrah screamed from the garden door.

We both started the short walk to the house in silence, questions and thoughts lingering in the air.

"Yeah baj (sister), what's up?" I asked wanting to know why we were interrupted.

She just grinned deviously as if we were doing something wrong and then nodded towards the living room.

Realization dawned on me and I led myself and Qasim to the living room. God help us all when my dad realizes I'm saying yes without a tantrum but oh well. He'll be ecstatic his first daughter's matured-just a little bit not that much, I mean come on that's expecting too much.

Before I stepped in the room Qasim stopped me with his hand on my shoulder making me turn to face him, "Whatever happens in there, you've got me now and forever, In Sha Allah."he said making my heart soar and my face plunge in deep red.

I smiled,"In Sha Allah!"

I know, I know, we're obviously exaggerating but only Allah knows how my father would react so it's best to take precautions.

I finally found my courage and stepped in the room and headed straight next to my mum, knowing she'll help me if I needed it whilst Qasim just sat on a one-seat sofa. It was almost as if he was trying to show my parents he wasn't scared and had no wories. This bold act of his led me feel scared for his life.

He sat smugly whilst his parents were just looking at mine whilst mine were looking at me and I was just sitting there not knowing exactly who to look at.

"So, Khadijah, what's the verdict?" Uncle Abdul asked me in quite a nice, soft voice.

I just gulped and looked at my mum, it was as if she could see a capital-lettered YES printed onto my forehead because she grinned and started squealing, she jumped up hugging Auntie Halima, "Congratulations,we're going to be a family now."

My dad just looked at me and then smiled warmly, "This is what you want?"

I nodded, unable to speak.

He grinned wholeheartedly and then stood up to hug Uncle Abdul.

While our parents were hugging the lives out of each other,we were staring at each other just smiling. The door opened and Zohrah walked in with Umar on her hips and in her hands- a tray of sweetmeats, clearly they planned this and had expected me to say yes.

I could see her entrance through my peripheral view, I couldn't seem to break my gaze from Qasim. Apparently, neither could he break his gaze from my face.

Watching my parents get happy made me smile at how excited they were but underneath all the happiness, I could sense a layer of sadness for their daughter going away from them and finally growing up their eyes glanced at me every so often.

I wonder if I said no, if my dad would happily give me my favourite green sweetmeat, I doubt it. He'd probably stare at me and wonder where he went wrong in his upbringing, honestly he overreacts quite a lot.

Once they had done all the adult-y conversation, my future in-laws and Qasim(I just don't have a title for the guy I happily agreed to live with forever and adjust with) stood up ready to go, deciding to meet up in a week's time to arrange the dates and finalize things.

Saying goodbye was awkward and just a bit weird. How are you supposed to say “see you again” to the people who you are going to have to live with forever, taking you away from your parents, away from everything you know and love? Awkward, right?

When I said bye to Qasim I could feel everyone's eyes subtly making their way to our little farewell. Honestly, people nowadays!

"Khuda-hafiz (may god be your protector)."

Qasim smiled sadly with a twinkle in his eye as if he wanted me to say something else, something that wasn't necessarily a goodbye,"Khuda-hafiz, Khadijah!"

We just stepped to the side, me blushing like crazy and him smiling smugly as if he won an award of some sort.

My father and mother stood up to walk them up to the door, I just stood up but the minute they all walked out the living-room I flopped down on the sofa ready to spend hours mulling over things, well I was ready to do that but Zohrah clearly didn't want me to do so as she pushed me out of the living room towards the front door hissing, "Go say bye to them and your future husband, i***t!"

Well, then!

Stealthily (like a ninja), I followed my mum (the last person in the never ending procession) determined for no-one to see me until they turn around to say their final goodbyes. Honestly, Asians are always saying goodbye but just never leaving.

Getting to the door (FINALLY) I felt this angry sort of feeling with the door- I'm so weird; I mean I'm angry at an inanimate object- for being so close to the living-room, it may have been the fact that I was enjoying walking behind Qasim and not being so far from him just yet.

Auntie Halima, Uncle Abdul and of course, Qasim turned ready to leave, that was when they all saw me not really reacting apart from a nod from my future mother-in-law and a warm smile from my future father-in-law and a smirk from the jerk (ooh, rhyming).

I just grinned at them all, it was my parent's reaction I should have being worried about but they both just had matching smiles as if they knew I'd come after them.

Once Auntie and Uncle had left (Qasim had bought his own car with him), my parents found their way inside leaving me and Qasim at the doorstep.

"Well, look who couldn't stay away?"He teased, smiling probably feeling proud of his "achievement".

"Hey, I didn't want to come, Zohrah made me. I wanted to think about what's going to change"I blurted out, clearly I didn't understand the phrase “think before you speak” because when I finished speaking Qasim's smirk morphed into a guilty s***h worried look.

"Nothing's going to change, just the fact that you're going to come home to me."He said in a serious tone as if he thought I hated that part of the change.

I just grinned, "Oh my god, Qasim, will you chill out? It's normal for a girl to start questioning shiz and well, I wanted to do it now then I can get excited about the clothes and themes and colours and flowers."

He looked at me as if trying to work out if I'm telling the truth.

"Oh well, still, I don't want you worrying or even thinking about the changes, because there are none, okay. You can do whatever you want during the day, the normal stuff you do here, you can even come here daily. You can stay here whenever you want. The only thing I want is you coming back to me."

"Yeah but if I'm here all the time, who's going to make you watch new cartoons and re-watch the greatest series with me? " I questioned him in an astonished tone, trying to get the seriousness off of his face-he suits smiling more.

And, Voilà! The man smiles!

"Ahh, that's a problem. Fine, we can watch cartoons and what's the greatest series ever made?"

"Prison Break obviously" I stated incredulously.

He rolled his eyes, "I knew you had some faults, I just didn't know they were so major. Prison Break, Khadijah? Seriously?”

“Whatever, you clearly don't know amazing when you see it”

“That's not true. I find you amazing”

“Hmm” I smiled at him as we stood at the door creating a beautiful moment

“I can't wait to take you home soon”

“Home?”

“Yes, home, with me. Call me weird or something but I can't imagine you anywhere else but home arguing with me over some stupid thing but the main point is that it's with me."

I just smiled, not feeling the need to say anything, saying anything would ruin the amazing feeling that surrounded us.

He stepped back, teasing,"I have got to go, if I stay here any longer, we might just have to get married today."

I just blushed. Suffice to say, he grinned at that!

"Bye, Khadijah. In Sha Allah we meet again and soon as husband and wife!"He said.

"In Sha Allah. Bye Qasim!"

He walked out the door, towards his car- a black Mercedes, I think-.

I turned around to shut the door but not before glancing at Qasim again, surprise surprise, he was looking at the door as well. He waved, I waved, I shut the door, he drove off.

I walked into the living room where Zohrah and my mother were sitting, Umar sleeping on the sofa, my father was probably upstairs.

I could feel my mother's gaze so I turned to face her, making my way to lie down on the sofa with my head on my mother's lap and my legs dangling off the end of the brown leather sofa.

I smiled up at her, genuinely happy.

She just nodded, not smiling but not exactly upset- just neutral!

"Khadijah, beti, are you happy?" she questioned.

"Mum, being honest I'm pretty much ecstatic. I haven't stopped smiling since I've met him and I'm such an evil person so imagine how happy I'll be living with him."

She smiled then, "As long as you're sure, baby girl! If you feel like you want to back out I'm with you on every step of the way, in fact we all are."

Zohrah nodded then cheekily smiled.

"So darling Khadijah, what happened at the door?" Zohrah teased.

Grinning triumphantly, proud of myself for not blushing and coming up with such a vague answer."I said goodbye, he said goodbye and all that shiz."