Married To You?

Arranging Dates

It was 10 o'clock in the morning and I was forced awake by Haleena and Umar as the two decided to make their presence known by jumping on my bed so great I was up.

"Come downstairs, there are people here." Haleena had said over half an hour ago.

I chose to ignore her, who cares, Zohrah and mum can handle any guests in the morning.

Getting changed, I decided to wear a black maxi-dress with a turquoise button down over it and paired it with a turquoise hijab with black flip-flops.

Heading straight into the kitchen, I sat on the counter and had my breakfast- Coco Pops as I couldn't go sit in the living room, I could hear the guests laughing with my mum.

Once I had finished my cereal, I made my way into the living room and honestly I didn't expect Qasim and his family here, but they were!! I stepped towards Aunty Halima and Uncle Abdul and met them giving them 'salams', they smiled at me warmly and I tried -key word TRIED- to run away from them all before they forced me to talk to Qasim.

Well, I failed that one because as soon as I tried to run my beloved mother spoke, "Khadijah, why don't you sit in the front-room with Qasim and Zohrah to talk? I'm sure the two of you don't want to sit listening to us so off you go."

She smirked as I subtly glared at Zohrah who was laughing using her hand to cover her laughter.

"Yes mum." I said like a good daughter.

I turned and walked off not really caring if they were coming but I could hear footsteps so, they were probably following.

It's not that I didn't want to talk to him but it's just that.... They probably came to fix the dates, making it even more real to me that I have to mature for myself and Qasim, that it's not only myself I have to sort things out for now but also Qasim. Sure, these things weren't that major but it dampened my mood hence my bitchiness to Qasim.

Once I got into the front-room I sat on one of the three seater leather sofas smack-bang in the middle, my feet on the table, yes I know, I looked like a lazy person but I did just wake up so yeah...

Qasim sat across me smirking, putting his own feet up on the table, I smiled at this cause it showed he was still the immature person I met a week ago and he hadn't changed much apart from the fact that his beard looked a bit scruffy- it still looked good on him, his beard made his hazel eyes pop out- and his clothing choices; a navy blue Guess smart shirt with black chinos and black Nike Air trainers.

He smiled back at me cheekily, "So, what was the problem?"

"Nothing." I grumpily answered.

He just nodded as if he was expecting that answer. I didn't ask for him to elaborate on the nodding because I felt guilty that he had to put up with my bitchiness as he was currently sailing with me on the same boat, only Allah knows if the boat will sink or sail off into the sunset.

Zohrah had settled herself on the dining table giving me and Qasim some privacy but still in the same room, she had her phone out with her headphones in already talking to somebody..

She looked up at me and stuck her tongue out at me, I didn't respond because you know, such childishness behaviour is beneath me, no, I stuck my tongue out at her too.

I turned to look at Qasim and saw him already staring at me in such a way that made me feel rooted to the spot and gave me the desire to hug him was strong but I did neither as I shuffled a little feeling uncomfortable in his unwavering gaze, clearing my throat, causing his cheeks to redden slightly and look away for a second.

He looked back at me but didn't say anything, I stared at him and noticed he had a scar on the top of his forehead peeking out from under his crazy hair.

"So..." I muttered.

"Khadijah..." He whispered.

"Yes," I whispered," Why are we whispering?"

He smiled at my question and shook his head, "Do you still want to get married to me?" He asked.

I looked at him and realised his hands were gripping his phone almost to the point they were going white due to lack of blood circulation, his jaw was tense. I smiled at his immature way of asking a serious question.

"Will you stop trying to break your phone?" I asked in an obnoxious manner," To be honest, I have no clue why but this marriage will have to go ahead because I don't think saying no is an option right now."

"And why's that?" He smirked loosening his deathly vice-grip on the phone and relaxing his jaw resuming his boyish smile.

I looked at him and knew exactly why I couldn't say no...

"Because I'm in too deep and I don't think anyone will catch me once I'm done falling." I whispered looking at my phone in my lap.

I could feel his eyes boring their scrutinising gaze on my face but my bravery wouldn't allow me to stare back because my cheeks were flaming red and I just admitted something that could easily gain me a rejection.

"Yeah? Well, I'm in way too deep, deeper than you and I'll be the one catching you when you drop." He whispered staring closely at my face.

I looked up at him and realised he was serious, his eyes held no emotion but reflected truth and his face was stern as he stared at me trying to gauge my reaction.

I just smiled shyly causing him to smirk. We didn't say anything, the silence being more than enough for us as we stared at each other.

"You know," he said in a teasing tone, "I think I'll be able to handle this..."

"Handle what?" I questioned.

"Handle you and your shortness and your shy way of blushing and the way you're so stubborn but you still feel guilty and the way you stare at me openly when you think I'm not looking..." He said quite proudly.

I just stared at him shell shocked. WOW, he noticed all those things about me, wait up, "I ain't short okay!"

"Khadijah, compared to me, you're a midget..." He chuckled.

I mock-glared at him.

Do I have a shy way of blushing? I am SO stubborn but I do feel guilty after like how I was being so moody to him just now but then I felt guilty, oh my days, I do that!! I'm not always staring at him, he probably said that to increase his ego, as if it needed that boost.. Ok, fine, I've stared at him once or twice or maybe three times but who wouldn't stare at their future husband anyway...

I looked up at him and realised he was staring at me in that sweet oh-so lovely way but this time he was smiling and when I looked back at him, he didn't look away!!

I smiled at him too. "Okay, then yeah, Halima that's actually okay. Oh my gosh! I'm so excited, we're finally going to become a family..."

In walked my mother dearest with my future mother-in-law and father-in-law, I quickly stood up because I didn't want them to see me looking like a slob, sprawled on the sofa and table. Qasim just straightened up and Zohrah got up, smiled and went off somewhere.

I just smiled shyly causing him to smirk.

We stood up as the three entered so they could sit down, honestly where was my father in all this?

"I'm home" screamed dad at the door, ahh there he was.

"Salaam everyone" he said as he entered the room with a carrier bag, no doubt full of sweets and toys for Umer my baby.

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An hour full of excited chattering left me with a headache and loads to think about. My anniversary (Nikkah) was in two weeks' time. The wedding day was planned to be four weeks after the anniversary.

OH MY GOD!!! I'M GETTING MARRIED IN LESS THAN A MONTH.

Finally going to have a Mrs before my name.

OH MY GOD.

Islamically once I sign the Nikkah certificates I'm married and our parents decided on doing the Nikkah before the actual wedding day to allow some time in between for me and Qasim to spend some time with each other in a halal manner but also to allow some time between me being married and walking away from my family meaning I'm really about to be Qasim's wife in less than two weeks..

I stood up and walked straight out of the front room where I was sitting with my mother and father and Zohrah on the sofa opposite Qasim and his parents, Umar was crawling around. Haleena had gone to college in between the time she woke me up and I actually got out of bed.

I went into the other room quite calmly considering it's my wedding dates they were discussing less than a minute ago.

Someone followed after me, I could hear the footsteps but I just didn't have the energy to turn around and engage in a conversation.

Thinking about me getting married is quite draining.

"Khadijah" Qasim - of course it was Qasim - called out.

"Yea?" I answered.

"Are... are you okay?" he hesitated as if I was going to lash out on him.

"I'm fine, just need to breath a bit" I chuckled trying to fake all the happiness he would want me to feel.

It's not as if I wasn't happy, I did just say I like him maybe even love but that's a whole different story...

"Why are you lying?" he asked, now facing me, stopping me in my little march.

"I'm not, it's just..." I whispered, "Just everything catching up with me"

"What's catching up with you?"

"Everything, I'm going to be your wife, we're going to married in less than a month" I waved my hands around as if 'everything' was flying around in the air.

He looked at me, deeply, scrutinising every part of my face.

"Hey, hey! I'm not changing my mind! I just needed a breather honest!!" I exclaimed, his gaze feeling too heavy on my face.

Maybe I should've put on a little bit of make-up today, make myself feel a little bit presentable at least!

I looked back at him, walking around him guiding him to the living room and put the television on.

Nothing better than a movie to make you forget about your upcoming wedding, right?

The perfect movie was on as well. Hah! Perfect!

We were both sitting down (obviously, on different sofas because I would totally jump his bones if he was sitting next to me), the curtains drawn and the movie on.

Of course, it was a horror movie but I have seen it plenty of times, well enough to ensure I won't faint, hopefully.

Half-way into the movie (PARANORMAL ACTIVITY), someone popped in to put a drink on the table and probably to double-check we weren't doing anything stupid which was wise because Qasim's eyes were wandering back to my face every so often.

Just when the freaky things were about to start, Haleena the saint, popped in, sitting next to me, smirking as if she thought we jumped apart.

Huh, as if mate!

It was definitely not as if I wanted Qasim to be sitting next to me, of course I didn't.

Qasim looked at her, smiled and said "Hello."

She laughed in response.

"Hello, should I call you papa (older brother) or is your name fine?" she asked.

"My name's fine, Haleena"

She grinned and began watching the movie. Inevitably, she got bored and began playing on her phone so did Qasim and I took that chance to walk out and actually THINK about everything.

Thinking is quite hard. Take my advice, don't try and think about anything too long!

Over-thinking is my problem.

Why am I stressed about getting married to Qasim?

Why am I worried?

Am I scared?

Where am I even going?

See, I can't even think straight.

I was walking around the garden. I sat down on the chair that has been stranded in our garden ever since I decided to buy a new desk chair. Oh well! At least it came into use before I left my home.

I wasn't stressed, I was just worried about how things would change, and sure Qasim thinks nothing will change but obviously everything changes after marriage right? You get married; you wake up to that guy in your bed instead of your baby nephew. You're expected to do things for him, help out in the house etc.

I'm not scared, Qasim's a nice person but I'm scared about the fact that this might be a facade of his, maybe he's nice in general but when it's just me and him what if he changes? What if? What if? There were so many what-ifs I didn't know what to do, it wasn't as if I could ask Qasim now, could I? Or could I? Of course I can't. That's a stupid idea. I was just so confused.. My life would be quite literally in his hands and I don't know if that was a good idea. My heart soars when I think about him but there's a reason why people say 'think with your head; not with your heart', right?

After all this being thought out in my ever so cluttered brain, my phone vibrated, looking at it, I saw I got a w******p message from a group created by people I didn't have numbers of which was slightly freaky.

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The group title was "the sister-in-law" which freaked me out too.

I looked at the contacts; two numbers I didn't recognise and Haleena's so I assume she knew these two.

Number 1: heyy ladies

Number 2: shut up you.

Haleena: okay chill you two

Me: who are you?

Number 1: Qasim's brother

Ohhh dear.

Number 2: Qasim's sister

Haleena: Qasim's future sister-in-law

Me: Qasim's future wife. I think my status rocks better right?

Number 1: lool you're funny

Number 2: urgh, ignore him. We just wanna get to know you over text before we meet?

Me: I don't mind at all!

Number 1: can you save my number as "buffest bro-in-law ever"

Me: lol no sorry only one person can have the word buff in their contact name

Number 2: Abid you're not buff. Lol I like you Khadijah/ baji Khadijah?

Me: Khadijah's fine hun.

Right, I should save their numbers!

Number 1 saved as Abid, number 2 saved as Aneesah.

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Heading inside, I realised I left Qasim with bloody Haleena! She's insanely weird which made me slightly worried about the well-being of my fiancé ish!

Gladly though, the two were sitting playing with Umer, trying to get him to go to the other while the other flashes their phone for the poor kids attention!

The way Qasim was playing with Umer made my heart warm at the sight as my beautiful nephew laughed in his cheeky way as he grabbed Qasim's phone. Qasim laughed and grabbed him throwing him in the air making him giggle like crazy. The sight was so lovely to see, I could even feel my over-worked brain turn to mush.

I sat cross-legged on the floor beside Qasim, after a few moments of silence Haleena excused herself shutting the door behind her as the two of us continued playing with Umar but our focus was on each other as we stared at each without saying a word.

Feeling a bit guilty, I broke the silence, “Sorry I walked off”

“Why did you?”

“I don't know.. I just needed a little breather”

“Are you okay now?”

“Yes”

“Promise?” He looked at me allowing Umar to get a hold of his phone.

“I promise”

Umar crawled off to his play corner leaving our phones behind, still sitting on the floor we both sat cross-legged smiling at each other, we probably looked like mad people.

“Khadijah”

“Hmm”

“Are you happy with this? If you want to get married later or something, I wouldn't mind..” he smiled at me slightly, “as long as you still come home with me one day”

“I'm happy, if it's a good thing you should do it sooner, right?”

“It's a good thing for me but I don't know how you feel, you run off to overthink and I don't know what to end up thinking” he muttered

“It's a good thing for me too I promise and that running off to overthink is a very normal thing for me I promise, I'm always overthinking..”

He inched closer and took hold of my hand, “I will always take care of you and your over-worked mind, I promise. In such a short time you have ruled over all my thoughts and made me feel so happy, ever since I saw you run after Umar at that wedding in that green outfit, I had to make you mine.”

“Wait.. you remember that?”

“Yes, I also remember seeing you in town a few months before that when you were walking alone with headphones wearing a plain black abaya with a pink hijab, you were holding a 'H&M' bag and you had no care in the world. I also remember that you stuck your tongue out at a kid making him laugh”

“Oh my god”

“What?” He laughed

“How did you remember that?I don't even remember doing all that”

“Oh honey, I'm a fan of yours” he sighed, squezing my hand making my hand warm.

I smiled and squeezed his hand back, “Thank you for being the best weirdo in my life”

“I'm not a weirdo but I will be whatever you want”

I didn't respond instead I just stared at the man I'm supposed to marry as his thumb drew random shapes on my hand as we both held on to each other. I was very aware the door could open and anyone could walk in, I was also very aware Umar was crawling around with no care in the world but I didn't care.

After a while, Qasim had to go.

We did the whole walking to the door scene but Qasim had to go with his parents because he drove them here so I couldn't really speak to him alone, but his dad did say they'll wait in the car.

"Bye Khadijah!"

"Bye Qasim!"

"In Sha Allah, the next time I'll see you will be on our engagement"

"In Sha Allah"

I shut the door behind him and headed into the living room which I regret hugely.

The living room had bridal magazines everywhere. Oh my dear, Allah. Everyday till my engagement and possibly my wedding will be so hectic from organising clothes to make up. HECTIC I SAY, HECTIC!!