Jeopardy In July

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

"Next number, B-22. I'm warning you, people, someone better yell 'Bingo' soon. It's almost time for happy hour and there's a double martini calling my name."

Everyone in the Bingo hall laughed. The tiny white-haired woman with the big attitude was seated at a table in front facing the players. She continued calling out numbers and cracking jokes at a steady pace.

"That's Darlene," Jessie told me as we stood in the doorway. "She just turned a hundred and two, can you believe it?"

"She should do stand-up comedy," I said. "I'd have a drink with her."

Jessie nodded. "Me, too! But I'm not sure about the stand-up. I think she'd have to do sit-down."

I laughed. "That will be me someday, playing Bingo for nickels and counting the minutes 'til happy hour."

"Sounds like fun," Jessie said as she linked her arm in mine and led me away.

We peeked into the arts and crafts room where residents were busy making bracelets before moving on to the library with its overstuffed armchairs and extensive collection of thrillers, mysteries, and classics. A shelf dedicated to harlequin romances also held some racy bestsellers. A sign on the wall announced that Book Club met on Wednesdays. The thought of discussing Fifty Shades of Grey with women who reminded me of my grandmother sent shivers down my spine. You couldn't pay me to join that book club, not even for a million bucks. Well, maybe a million. Hell, I'd eat a cockroach for half that. Of course, a portion of my earnings would need to be set aside for psychotherapy and once the doctors invented a cool name for my syndrome--maybe Cockroach PTSD-- I'd be famous for the most disgusting reason imaginable. Go big or go home, I say.

"Next stop,” Jessie said as we turned a corner, “you'll meet the coolest guys at La Vida Boca. They call themselves The Card Sharks."

I laughed. "So, they cheat at cards, but they let people know up front? Very considerate."

We passed a poster advertising movie night. The flick was Pal Joey, starring Frank Sinatra, Rita Hayworth and Kim Novak. It was easy to see why they had been such big stars; the women were beautiful and glamorous and Old Blue Eyes looked like he was loving life. Strolling through La Vida Boca was like traveling in a time machine. I wouldn't have been surprised to see people wearing 'I like Ike" buttons and humming Elvis Presley tunes--or to see Dr. Who hovering outside in the Tardis. How fun would that be?

"Tell me about pet therapy," I said as we continued walking through the long winding corridors. La Vida Boca was bigger than I'd thought. "How does it work?"

Jessie's face lit up. "Hooray! I get to talk about my favorite topic. Did you know that spending just fifteen minutes bonding with an animal sets off a chemical chain reaction in your brain that lowers your heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels? Isn't that amazing? Pet therapy also helps people recover from illness and surgery and it can even help with memory. Have you ever heard of Sundowner's Syndrome?"

I shook my head. "It sounds like something bad happens when the sun goes down. Is it a fancy term for vampirism?"

Jessie punched me lightly in the arm. "Yeah, Jamie, all the old people turn into vampires. It's a deep, dark secret, so don't tell anyone."

I pretended to zip my lips and throw away the key. "Okay, now here's my deep, dark secret." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "When I was a kid, I was terrified of vampires. I used to sleep with the covers bunched around my neck so they couldn't get me. You can see that my strategy worked."

Jessie's eyes grew big in mock terror. "But, did it? I mean, maybe you are a vampire. You say you don't eat meat, but that could be one of your bloodthirsty tricks."

"I guess you'll have to stick around until after dark to find out," I said, baring my teeth.

Some things never change. I knew I'd be wrapping my covers around my neck that night, just like the old days. It always worked--those vampires knew I had their number.