A Mermaid's Heart

Chapter Twelve.

I breathed in deeply and pushed myself to sit upright in the chair that I’d fallen asleep in a few hours prior. The sun had set and the dark of night enveloped the world around us, including the Sunken Soul which was oddly silent compared to the usual banter and drinking of the crew. Perhaps it was the feeling of death in the air or the smell of dread that kept them below deck, quiet and fearful. My hands gripped at the armrests when I blinked sleepily and hummed “Looking for something?” I questioned, seeing as he was rummaging through every drawer and making a mess wherever he went not to mention being way too loud for that time of the night, not that I was complaining. It was the noise he made that drew me from my dream, away from Neptune and back to him. Caleb’s eyes searched my features then dropped to whatever he held in his hand. It was a necklace, one I instantly recognized, my eyes widening and my body going numb at the memory of it dangling from Claudia’s neck the night of the ball when she had torn it from her throat and tossed it onto the garden’s gravel by his feet. I had thought it to be lost, stolen by the pirates who had invaded the town but then I realized that he’d become their Captain before the night had ended and most likely torn it from their dirty, trembling hands, keeping it for himself. He stuffed the piece of jewelry into his coat pocket then continued searching like a beast, desperate and needy, so focused on finding whatever it was he was looking for that he forgot I was even there. Was he drunk? Was his guilt starting to drive him mad? I moved to stand, my feet brushing over the Persian carpet and my hand reaching for him, gripping his shoulder moments before he turned on me. I stumbled back a step, my hand slipping from his shoulder when he held something out for me to sea. It was the crest of a roaring lion; one I had seen many times since having known Caleb. It was the Campbell sigil, a piece that fit into the palm of his hand “I don’t-.” I was going to say that I didn’t understand but he interrupted me, his fingers curling around the object as if to crush it yet trembling at the feel of it like it meant something to him but his connection to it was a mix of anger and compassion “My mother gave this to me the night she was-.” there was a flicker in his eyes as if the image he had seen surfaced in the back of his mind and he shook his head roughly, stuffing the trinket into his pocket along with the necklace only to start in the direction of the door “Caleb!” I called after him but he hardly registered, shutting the door to the Captain’s quarter behind him, leaving me stood alone with little to no idea as to where he was going or whether he was in his right state of mind. I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced at the room that was abandoned in utter discord. My eyes landed on the articles of clothing that were scattered throughout the room including a long skirt that could only belong to Rebecca since she was the only one onboard the ship who wore such gypsy styled clothing. I stiffened at the thought of her when the conversation she had with Caleb earlier that day came flooding back to me. I reached for a navy coat that lay nearby, tugging it onto my shoulders then reached for the lantern that hung beside the stairs that headed above deck. The light drizzle of rain had yet to stop and the air had grown cold because of it. I raised the lantern to examine the deck but found no one, only a layer of rainwater that most likely dripped down between the floorboards and to the crew that slept below. I rushed to the side of the ship and glanced out on the town, squinting to try and make out the various shapes and figures but it was nearly impossible since it was pitch black. My feet carried me down the plank and onto the docks, hand shielding my face from the rain that continued to soak my body, slowly making its way through the clothing that I wore. I tried remembering the way to the manor and started in that direction, holding the lantern up to see where I was going, making sure not to step off the docks or trip over the remains of fallen buildings. I knew he was going to see his mother and Claudia but I had no idea where he’d buried them all those years ago just that it had to be somewhere overlooking the sea. I froze, my body turning to stare up at a cliff that was located outside of the town, the only cliff for miles “There” I breathed, my breath condensing in the cool air when I spoke. The cold didn’t bother me but I knew that it would bother Caleb so I began running in the direction of the cliff, first cutting through the town then stumbling into a portion of woods that surrounded the morbid sight. My clothing caught on branches when I tore through the underbrush, winching whenever I would step on a sharp rock or snap a twig beneath the soles of my feet. I skidded to a stop when a branch caught on my cheek and reached up to touch the area only to find blood coating my fingertips that was slowly washed away by the rain. I couldn’t think about myself or my injuries, I had to find him and make sure that he was alright. I began running again, not sure where I was going since I couldn’t see past the trees but eventually I broke through the tree line, stumbling and breathing hard when my eyes landed on the ocean ahead along with the figure of a man who stood with his back to me. There were two wooden crosses that had been stuck into the ground, seeming almost to fall apart from both the weather and years of being unkempt. My legs were covered in mud from the earth that had been drenched and my hair was soaking wet down my shoulders and back. I raised the lantern to get a clear look at the man, his shoulders hunched with his hands balled at his sides. That was when he fell to his knees in the mud, chest rising and falling in sync with his ragged breathing that came out as white puffs of clouds “Please-.” he muttered under his breath, the single word almost being swept away by the harsh winds before they could reach my ears. I lowered the lantern to my side and watched him when his head fell forward and his voice cracked when he spoke “Forgive me” the necklace and crest were placed on their graves, Claudia on the left and his mother on the right. I began making my way toward him, my steps slow and small as if to give him time to compose himself but he was too far gone, his eyes staring at the crosses while his hair was a mess and his eyes had fallen limp in front of him. I sat on my knees beside him, raising the lantern just enough to get an even closer look at the makeshift grave markers. The names of those who had been buried there were engraved onto the horizontal piece of wood, the one for his mother catching my attention. The name ‘Emery’ made my body stiffen at the thought of her. I wondered what she was like, what color her eyes were, what her favorite perfume was and whether she liked to drink tea or not. There was so much that I didn’t know about the woman and her name, a name so foreign to me made me realize that “They’re dead because of me” I turned my attention back onto the man at my side to find that he was still starring at the graves, his teeth clenched but his bottom lip trembling while the whites of his eyes turned ever more red. I had only seen him cry a handful of times but it was hard to tell that night with the pouring rain “They’re free because of you” I corrected which had him finally looking at me, taking in the cut on my cheek, the mess of my hair and the droplets that stuck to my eyelashes. He was about to protest when I decided to follow Rebecca’s lead by being hard on him despite not wanting to “Claudia would’ve been forced to marry a man she didn’t love-.” I motioned to her grave, the sadness she had felt, the anger from having to marry Edmund vibrating through my chest. My eyes moved to Emery’s grave where the crest was slowly sinking into the mud, a reminder of her night spent with Caleb’s father, a night that had led to his birth “And your mother would’ve continued to live as a harlot-.” I hadn’t meant it in a degrading way, more in a sense that she wouldn’t have had a choice but to continue bedding men just to take care of herself and her son “I’m sure she would’ve wanted to fall in love, to see the world, to be free but-.” my breath caught at the thought of the woman, wondering just how she had become a harlot and whether there really was a man she loved or not and if so was that man Caleb’s father? Perhaps he was a regular customer at the brothel? “She could never have had that in Martin’s Port” I gave Caleb a sad smile, searching his eyes when he only looked at me, studying me while contemplating my words. He nodded, swallowing hard as if to force the tears back then glanced back at the graves. I shifted my weight to stand, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze while the other held the lantern up for us to see “Let’s go home” I insisted, dropping my hand away from him and turning to leave, pausing to give a nod to each of the graves as if greeting the two women whom I pictured as taking a stroll in a rose garden, arms looped together, laughing and conversing about the simplest of things. Grieving isn’t just about remembering those who are dead when they once were alive but also about picturing them after they’ve been long gone being happy and themselves. My head turned to gaze upon the Sunken Soul, a ship I had once seen as my prison when I had first met Caleb as Evangeline but it was home, not the manor in Port Knot nor the orphanage in Alice Port and it wasn’t just another ship, it was my home, our home. He stood and whispered one last thing that I couldn’t quite hear then turned to follow me back into the woods that lead to the town. I couldn’t help but wonder what he had said in that moment but some things were best left kept secret. When we reached the ship and headed below deck, I shrugged off the navy coat and hung it on a hook by the stairs, tugging the shirt that clung to my body over my head and discarding it on the floor by my feet in search of something dry to wear among the mess he had made. He had removed his hat, his coat, his shirt and boots and was staring at me when I bent to pick up the closest dress that I could find. I met his eyes, wondering what he’d been thinking before he continued to get undressed and tugged a dry pair of pants onto his lower half. The dress that I’d chosen was more a night gown than a dress and was the color of sea foam, a mix between blue and green that resembled white. The lantern was back on its hook when I headed for the bed, tugging my hair out of the neckline of the gown then sat down on the edge of the bed. Caleb joined me, causing the mattress to dip when he laid down beside me, his eyes searching me when I laid down next to him, resting my head on his chest while he tugged the covers up over us, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. His heartbeat was like a familiar lullaby that lulled me to sleep but not before I heard him mutter something into my hair only to place a kiss to the crown of my head. I hadn’t heard them or rather my sleepy mind had forgotten them long before dawn broke over Martin’s Port “I promise. I’ll protect ye”

Ben.

I tried sleeping but the top bunk being closer to the floorboards meant that water was dripping down on my face, preventing me from sleeping. I muttered a few complaints under my breath and sat up on the bed, legs dangling over the side as I wiped at my tired eyes to catch a glimpse of the snoring pirate’s around me, including an out cold Nolan, seated on a crate by Rebecca’s door with his head thrown back and mouth gaping. I ran a hand through my wet hair and scratched at the back of my head but paused when I realized that I wasn’t alone. On the mattress beside me was Blue, tucked up against the wall and curled in on herself, her eyes closed with her arms pulled up, shielding her face from the lights of the lamps that hung from the wooden pillars. The water that dripped down onto her didn’t seem to bother her but in fact comforted her. I was sure she missed the sea, missed being able to swim in the fast, open waters but was stuck on a ship without much room or space. She still wore my shirt, the fabric hugging her body and shifting when she moved in her sleep. I reached for her, my hand tucking the strands of her hair back behind her webbed ear, my fingers gently caressing the delicate flesh. Her ear twitched like that of a cats, causing me to pull my hand back at the odd, unusual movement that wouldn’t be possible for any normal human being. She stirred and turned onto her back, the material of my shirt slipping further down her shoulders and exposing one of her breasts. I averted my eyes, my hand moving to tug the fabric up to conceal her again, her skin feeling cold to the touch. Her lips parted, the sight of her small, pointed canines so similar to Evangeline’s yet her lips were blue and not the pale pink color. Her clawed hand fell onto the pillow beside her head when she began to wake, her head moving from side to side, eyes blinking open to look at me. They were big and had no whites to them, instead they were completely sapphire but even then they were capable of holding so much emotion. I pulled my hand away from her chest only to have her own hand clamping down around mine like a viper, holding me in place. My fingertips dangled in front of her face and she surprised me by flicking her tongue over them, catching me by surprise. My voice caught in the back of my throat, a strangled sound the only thing that left my lips ‘You taste like fish’ she decided to tell me, loosening her grip on my hand but not letting go. I was about to say that I was a pirate and most importantly the cook which meant that I had to do with fish more so than the rest of the crew but she stopped me by gently biting down on my index finger, her tongue swirling around its tip before she began suckling like a baby goat that wanted milk. I had to bite back a groan, my teeth gritting when I turned my head to look at anything but at her. There was a pirate in a hammock across from my bunk, snoring with drool dripping from the corner of his mouth but not even that could stop me from concentrating on the feel of her icy tongue against my warm finger, curling it as if to caress the appendage ‘Lust’ I knew she could smell it but I hadn’t realized just how quickly she could pick up on it. It had been some time since our encounter on the mast, since I had promised to teach her about lust and we had yet to touch the subject again with her sending her nights at my side, simply sleeping beside me on the mattress of my bunk. Her fingers intertwined with mine when she removed her lips from my finger, using her hand to drag the wet digit down her chest, stretching the material of my shirt enough to expose her chest once more. I forgot to breathe, my eyes staring shamelessly down at her with need in their depths. She tilted her head to the side, causing her hair to fall more to one side of her head than the other and dragged her tongue along her bottom lip. I tore my eyes away from her and cleared my throat, attempting to tug my hand from hers when she sat up, the shirt springing back into place, concealing her nude form from my eyes. Her hand left mine and I had to fight not to protest only to have the air drawn from my lungs by the feel of her palms slipping underneath my shirt, dragging their way up, toward my shoulders then down, over my chest and stomach. She was so cold to the touch, so cool against my radiating body heat “Blue” I breathed, looking back at her from over my shoulder when she pressed herself into my back. There was a look in her eyes, one of hunger, one that made my heart skip a beat in a mixture of fear and desire. Her gaze never left mine when she bent, pressing her chilling lips to my shoulder then neck, making her way up to my ear then my cheek and jaw. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and fight the urge that overcame me, compelling me to kiss her but before I could pull away, she brushed her lips over mine and I opened my eyes at the soft, tender touch, gazing at her with shock since I had been expecting her to devour me. Her lips tugged up into what I assumed was a smile then she pulled away, laying back down on the mattress with her back to me, curled in on herself like she had been before she awoke. I gulped, eyes searching the room around me as my hands gripped at the edge of the mattress and my heart pounded in my chest. I shook my head fiercely. The woman will be the death of me, I thought before attempting to sleep again once I had managed to calm down, getting both my breathing and heart under control.