The MW: Becoming Darkness

Chapter 2: Dreaming (Pt. 2)

I was a little freaked out and nervous. I rushed upstairs quickly.

I didn’t understand why he couldn’t wait until Addie and Jack were on their way. I felt even more nervous when I thought about it. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was taken aback. I felt different like I was glowing, yes that’s the word “glowing” I felt so plain before. But this girl staring back at me with those deep dark green eyes, full plump lips, perfect button nose, rosy cheeks, and flawless black curly hair demanded a presence that I had never witnessed before.

There is nothing that could ruin this moment, yet I talked too soon.

“Violet! Are you home?” someone outside the house was shouting.

I was only expecting Marcus, but I recognized that voice anywhere. It was Hugh, and I felt my heart was in irrational pain a second after I realized it was his voice.

I won’t go outside. I will let him think I’m not here, I want him to go away, don’t want to see his face, don’t want the glowing to stop. The different voices in my head shouted at me louder than the pain I was feeling in my chest.

“Violet, can you please answer? I know you are home…” Hugh yelled exasperated, looking around to see if any of the neighbors was listening. He lived close enough, so most of the neighbors knew him.

How could he know, how could he? The voices continued to echo along my thoughts.

“I called your mom, she told me you were here, please!” Hugh implored once more.

How could she? Hasn’t she had enough? I know she doesn’t know what happened, but she noticed I was mad at Hugh the moment I told her I didn't want to see anyone but Jack and Addy when I could get visits.

Why she would upset me? Why would she go against my will like this? Damn it! Then the realization that Marcus was on his way and could be here any minute made a panic attack to start creeping in.

I don’t want him... I don't want to see Hugh.

Especially after the stuff that Addie told me about Marcus and even Jack getting involved and giving me Marcus's number.

Marcus ditched school to come see me, messaging me even though I didn't give him my number.

I couldn't deny his interest was real. The way he looked at me.... It was as I told Hugh the last time I saw him. "I want someone that knows and shows they want me.".

He owed it to our friendship to be honest with me, even if he didn't like me that way. If he valued our friendship, why couldn't he have done this before?

I’m just getting my strength back and don’t want to ruin this moment. This thing with Marcus. I won’t.

And then my nurse comes home and lets him in…

She is so close to getting fired, well no, but you know what I mean.

“Violet, can I come in?” Hugh asked as he was walking into my house uninvited and unwanted.

“What else can I do?” I said, fully pissed.

“Please, if you don’t want to see me or even talk to me just listen, please." He implored, looking pitiful.

“Just do it, a real friend is coming and I don’t have much time to waste with people like you,” I said, harsher than I should have. But frankly, his audacity had no bounds. So why should I care?

“Ok, can I just ask you how it’s your health, or should I ask Adrienne for the info?” He said, pushing his luck. Probably upset at my 'real friend' remark.

But the sooner I answered his questions, and he said what he came to say, the sooner he would be out of my face.

“I’m getting better than what the doctors expected,” I said, trying to avoid looking at him.

“That is great news, well I wanted to talk to you, see how you were, and explain what happened that day…” He said while his face went down.

“You don’t have to explain nothing Hugh-" I started to say, yet he interrupted me.

“You told me you were going to listen…” He said defensively.

“Sorry go on.” Was I apologizing!? Violet be strong, you can do this; don’t let your emotions get in the way!

“What you saw that morning was just us goofing around.

Well, at least I was. The strange thing was that she told me that she was in love with me after you left that day.

But well, the one I care about is you.

But she has been there for me this month, and I haven’t sent her away.

I just have been lonely and you wouldn’t return my calls... And well, what you saw wasn’t real…

I wanted you to know that for me, she is just a friend and you are more than that.

I won’t deny that I’m getting a little confused by the way we are heading, and the way she makes me feel...

But it is just kind of the way I felt with you. But I miss you, us.

And if you don’t feel the same way anymore.

If your boyfriend has become more of a big deal well, I understand…

I just want things to be clear, and I don’t want to lose your friendship. That is the most important thing for me. after breathing. So please, when you are ready... talk to me, your friend would never go away, and well, I’m here for anything you need or want; that’s all I wanted to say. Oh yeah, one last thing... I LOVE YOU…” His intense gaze on me. It probably took everything for him to say that.

I was speechless; I couldn’t feel more confused than ever. Words couldn’t come out, the only one that spoke after a moment, a long for a response had to be….

“Thanks…” Was all that could come out of my mouth. My brain was still fried after his confession.

“You’re welcome…” he said with the saddest voice I have ever heard from him.

So many things I wanted to say, and I had no words to tell them.

Not now. As much as I cared about him, my feelings changed.

Not because of Marcus, but for all the things that happened since the last time I saw him.

Not even for the stupid girl. I felt different, after the TBC, after my own personal drama, and well, as much as I loved Hugh, I think it was all an illusion.

Keep telling yourself that I thought with one of my million voices, and they were right, I don’t know what I feel I just don’t think it’s what I want no more.

“Call me when you are ready, I’ll be waiting, k´? your friend it’s always there for you”

I knew the possibility of something happening between Hugh and I was dead the second I saw Lizzi in his lap. He was the one who allowed that to happen. He is the one that didn't communicated his feelings when he could have. When I had the guts, he didn't to talk about this unspoken thing between us. I swear, I will NEVER confess my feelings to a friend ever again. If I find myself in a similar situation again. Is just not worth it.

“Just give me time, I just need time…” I finally said. My walls breaking down a bit.

“You have it Vick” He said with a bright smile. Knowing I was caving in.

“Thanks, Hal,” I said, trying to tap into our once-strong friendship.

We had these alter egos. I was Victoria, and he was Hal any moment we were playing an inside joke. That way, each other’s secrets were hidden from people listening.

So I saw him from the window as he was leaving and waved goodbye without looking my way. He just kept walking.

Without noticing, I was crying, and Marcus arrived. And I went from anguish to panic.

I had my mascara all over my face, so I went to the bathroom quickly to fix my face.

I wasn’t glowing anymore, but I was okay, no gorgeous, just ok.