Thou Shall Not Touch Him(But I Did)

Episode 4

“There you are,” she muttered. “I was beginning to enjoy the peace your absence brought.” My mother, Mrs. Anna, said, her eyes smoldering with rage.

I couldn’t remember the last time she stared at me with warmth.

“Please, Mom… just not tonight,” I whispered, my fingers trailing over my aching temple. “School was rough.”

“Oh, you think I don’t already know that?” my mother snapped. “You really believe the whole neighborhood hasn’t seen what a disaster you’ve become?” She shifted on the couch like my presence made the seat too hot to handle

“Come on, Noah… Mrs. Murphy,” Father Giveon said, sighing. “I didn’t come here to be a front-row witness to another fight.”

“Oh, come on, Father—someone’s gotta remind Noah what a disappointment he really is,” my mother said, her voice laced with venom masked as concern.

“What are you going to say this time around? You’re speaking like you’ve been a good mother to me.” I spat back.

“I’ve been the best mother you could have ever had but the day you killed my husband, your father I stopped being that woman.” She said. She didn’t look at me. Tears gathered in her eyes.

“Will you ever stop blaming me? Ever?” I asked, my voice cracking. I wasn’t made of stone—I cried when it hurt, and I shouted when no one listened.

“You know it just as much as I do—it’s your fault!” my mom shouted. “You ran off that night and led your father straight to his death!”

“You know that’s not true. Blaming me is just your way of dealing with losing him—and deep down, you know none of this was my fault,” I said.

“This is all on you. You never listened—never! What the hell were you thinking, running off like that?” my mother snapped.

“Noah, that’s enough,” Father Giveon said gently. “She’s already hurting—don’t add to it.”

As if I wasn’t the one bleeding inside. I looked at him with all the anger I’d buried for years. Everyone in this community knew who he really was—a so-called priest with roaming hands and a crooked collar. “Stay out of this,” I snapped. “It’s my family, not yours.”

I looked at my mother. “If you’d just told Dad the truth that night, none of that would’ve happened,” I said.

I had always known my mother’s biggest secret. The argument that night wasn't the usual.

“What truth are you talking about?" My mom asked, staring at me intently.

“You know what I am talking about mom, you know what started the argument. It’s all your fault dad got into that car accident and ever since you’ve been trying to shift the blame on me to make yourself feel better.” I said.

I’d been playing the bigger person ever since Dad died. Yeah, Mom was cruel sometimes, but I never hated her—she was grieving in her own twisted way. And maybe Dad would’ve wanted me to step up, to hold the family together. But not tonight. Tonight, I was done pretending she was some kind of saint.

“Noah, don't you dare shift the blame on me!” She yelled.

“Dad was right. You were guilty of his accusations. I heard everything from my room and saw it all.” I said, dropping my backpack on the floor.

“Noah! What are you talking about?” My mom said, I could see her breaking down as tears streamed down her eyes like a flowing fountain.

“You did it. You slept with Uncle Marcus,” I said, voice shaking. “You cheated on Dad, and when he called you out, you couldn’t even own up to it—you were too ashamed. Don’t ask how I know, just know that I do. And honestly? You didn’t just fail Dad as a wife… you failed me as a mother.”

To be honest, I felt good after saying that. I didn’t know how long I had kept that bottled in. I didn't want to be the bigger person anymore. She was my mother after all.

She sat there, her hands held tightly against her chest as she sobbed profusely. I haven’t seen her cry like this in five years.

“Well, that is a lot of family drama today,” Father Giveon said, standing up from the sofa. “I’ll be off.”

I stood there as I watched him walk down the highway and drove off. He acted like an adult that he is, always running from responsibilities.

I stood there staring at my mom who was still sobbing like I had unleashed pepper gas in the room. I wasn’t going to stand here watching her bawl her eyes out. I had bigger issues to face.

I walked out of the house. I didn’t even bother to change my clothes or wipe the salty tears that rolled down my cheek. I didn’t bother to get a cab or a bus. I just walked. I didn't care how long it would take me, my destination? Ethan’s place.

I walked for three hours. I was barely myself at this point. I didn’t know why I decided to walk but I felt like I needed to clear my head.

I got to Ethan’s place only to find an empty apartment. The house was locked but one could tell that the people that lived here had moved out.

There were no curtains, it was evening time and no single ray of light from inside. I could even feel the cold coming from inside.

I needed answers. Why was the house empty? Did something bad happen to Ethan? I squatted at the door as tears rolled down my cheek.

“Hey there, young man. Who’re you waiting on?” an old man called out. He looked like he had to be somewhere in his sixties—maybe even older.

His sudden appearance caught me off guard, but the warmth in his smile eased something in me. In a small community like ours, news—especially the ugly kind—travels fast. I figured he hadn’t seen the s*x tape yet. That’s probably why he was still being nice.

“I came to check up on Ethan, the Sawyers. They lived here.” I said, standing up. I shook the dust of my blue Jean.

“Oh! The Sawyers. They moved out. Immediately their son came back from school they parked their things in this big van and moved out.” The old man said.

Moved out? Does that mean that I’ll never get to see Ethan again? My heart sank deeply into my stomach. I was fighting hard to hold back my tears.

“Well, did they tell you where they were moving to?” I asked.

“Not exactly, but I heard they’re leaving the country. Something must’ve happened at school,” the old man said. “Either way, sitting out here won’t bring them back. You should head home before it gets dark.”

I stood there in disbelief. Did Ethan just ghost me? I felt a knot in my chest, it hurt, just as much as when I heard the news that my father didn't make it out of the crash.

Ding! Ding!

My phone screen lit up. It was a message from Ava.

“You shouldn’t worry about finding who leaked your s*x tape. I did.”