20
Ian leaves at dawn the next day. With him goes a youth to carry the supplies needed and the shaman who will wait at the entrance for his return. Bembe is in a sling on Ian’s back. As Xia and Itzel hold me back, I imprint on my heart the face of my daughter smiling and waving her hands. She is happy this fine day thinking she is on a walk with her uncle. I hold watch until they disappear into the trees.
Xia and I have no appetite for food. He has taken the round pumice stone she rolls for play and the doll I fashioned from maize husks and put them in the grain storage so we will not have to be reminded. Her scent is still in the cloth we wrap her in at night. He has to gently take it from my hands as I’m holding it to my nose to breathe in her fragrance. She still nurses at my breast a
