How to Say Goodbye

The one where someone likes me

Neither me nor Anthony spoke about our little meet . We went on with our lives the way we always did . Better than how we were the last few weeks though . He actually started saying hello to me before class and then bid me goodbye at the end of the day.

Our relation had grown better than before , yet still it didn't make me any less rigid . Only curious about him . I found myself wondering over and over again why he had shown up that day or why he was crying . I remembered how his father told me his attitude towards me has nothing to do with me , and that had to mean he was grumpy due to something else . Either he was just like that from birth or something made him that way . I thought about family problems but his father seemed to be a kind and nice enough man . I highly doubted he treated his teen-age boy any different than what would be deemed decent .

I was engulfed in these thoughts and a bunch more on lunch when Susan snapped at me . The four of us were fortunate enough to have the same lunch hour though we didn't get the same classes .

"It's like you hardly ever join in conversations anymore ."she said accusingly .

Broken up from my trance I looked around our table . Susan was next to me and Ashley and Tiffany were opposite to us . They were all looking at me expectantly , waiting for a response .

"Uh , well , you know . Just been thinking about the game next Saturday . My dad's excited . It's the last match of the season  and they're saying a scout's coming . This might be my brother's best shot at getting that scholarship." I smile .

I loved my brother , and my parents loved him best . Which is why they didn't ever pay much attention to what I was doing . Which I was glad for . Since that meant I was free to go to those long walks at night . But still they cared more than enough . They cared about food and nutrition and grades and friends .

They cared and loved . The way they treated my brother sometimes actually made me glad that I wasn't the center of attention . Since they were always prepping him on what to eat and how to train .

"Oh . Gosh your dad's weird in that way ." Ashley said as she jiggled her can of coke a bit .

I nodded and smiled . "He has to be . David came to this school at the end of 10th grade . He didn't get a fresh start like us . It was like he was shoved in the middle of  a bunch of people ."

"Well, he's doing great now." Tiffany said with a snort as she eyed my brother's table .

He was with his teammates . They were having some kind of conversation and laughing as one person shoved the other . Everyone at that table was tall as hell and looking at them might have creeped me out if I wasn't used to living with my dad and my brother .

I rolled my eyes at them . "Yeah , he's happy ." And I might not show it often but it made me happy .

"Speaking of jocks and games , what's going on between Samuel and you?" Ashley asked as she wiggled her eyes .

I choked on the burger I was eating .

"What do you mean?" Susan asks her . Her eyes holding a mischievous glint .

"I mean, just look at him ." she said .

We all moved our heads towards the football team table and sure enough Samuel was looking at our direction . As soon as he saw us looking he turned around .

"He's always looking ." Ashley adds.

"It can be anyone of us ."I say . Trying to put more attention on the lunch in front of me .

"He does the same thing in class." she says again looking at me dead in the eyes .

"No , he doesn't ."I defend quickly . "I would have noticed if he did ."

"Well maybe you would have if you weren't always zoning out . And really you don't even look up from your desk unless to stare straight ahead at the board ."

I huff . It's not my fault I can't look up . How would have she felt if some weird guy sat next to her ? And not just any guy . A guy who throws pebbles at people ?

"It doesn't matter . Even if you defend yourself , he'll still be the one liking you . And that's not gonna change ." she retorts .

The other girls look from me to Ashley a few times . It's like the atmosphere changed at our table.

"Even if he does you guys know I don't , don't you?" I say looking up from my tray of foods to each of them .

"Of course ."Susan says with a smile as her left  hand reached out to hold mine .

That was the first time I found a guy who liked me . And I'd be lying if I said it didn't change things . It did .

It changed a few things that didn't need change .And a few things that didn't need to come see day light .

I never thought the cost of liking someone would be that heavy . But it was .

The butterfly effect had started then . And it took out a big part of someone's life . It revealed his secrets to me . And while it gave me love , just as it took away his .