In Too Deep: An Anti-Hero Mafia Romance

Virgin no more

I look in the mirror at my reflection, happy with the choice of my bright lime green mini dress with black edgings, it goes with my dark hair and shows off my tan, it’s a flared style a little on the short side - my black lace boy shorts underwear will save me flashing anything. I love it, it’s flirty and sexy, paired with my wedges, I'm happy with my look.

Kelly is looking hot tonight, she has some three quarter denim leggings on with a yellow bralette cropped top; Hayley has a white lace short dress on, looking classy as always.

We make our way to Xander’s room . . . I have butterflies.

Marty throws the door open and bellows a loud “Hola, beautiful ladies!”

Xander is walking out of a doorway, which looks like it leads from the bathroom. He has no top on, just some dark jeans, he’s carrying a lime green top in his hand. He takes my breath away. He stops in his tracks when he sees us, when our eyes meet a jolt goes through me - his eyes are hooded as they rake down my body and then back up again to meet mine, I feel like he’s undressing me with his eyes. Hell, I can’t say anything I’m undressing him with mine.

He strides over to me and puts his hands on my waist and kisses me firmly on the mouth. “You look amazing . . . you are beautiful.”

I beam up at him. “Thank you.” I look down at the top he’s holding in his hand. “Xander, you can’t wear that – we’ll match.” His top is the same colour as my dress.

He pulls it over his head and shrugs, “Good, then people will know we are together.”

I feel all warm inside, I’m happy that I get to spend all night with him. I feel a bubble of anticipation, wondering what tonight is going to bring. In the lift on the way out Xander reaches for my hand to hold. They take us to a bar they know – it’s not as far into the centre as Mambos but it’s on a cliff front - it has the most amazing views of the sunset. When we get there Stefan goes to the bar, coming back with three bottles of champagne. I could get used to having Champagne . . . I’m getting quite a taste for it after today.

Marty tells hilarious stories and Xander just pipes in now and again. Stefan is busy with Kelly, he keeps whispering in her ear and she keeps laughing at whatever he is saying. I purposely sit on a couch with Hayley so that she doesn’t feel that we’re all paired up except her.

Xander keeps glancing at me, a couple of times he mouths “You ok?” I nod and smile, I feel looked after.

By the time midnight arrives, we’ve had quite a bit of Champagne and are considerably louder as we make our way to the club. I can’t keep my eyes off Xander, I find myself watching him all the time, the alcohol giving me confidence . . . a couple of times he catches me looking at him and winks at me. He knows how good looking he is and what effect he has on me.

The club is awesome, there’s the main room and dance floor where all the DJs are. There’s also an R&B room, and a Chill Out room on the top floor.

I dance with Kel and Hayley. Marty comes dancing with us and starts to shimmy and grind with us. We all lap it up and laugh with him. I look over at Xander and suddenly his face looks like its set in stone - he looks all tense. I go over and slide my arms around his waist, kissing him on the lips. He slides his arms around me and I feel him relax, we kiss and kiss until it turns heated, so we stop. I’m having this man inside me tonight. I have to. I can’t think of anything else, and with the way he’s acting - I don’t think he can either.

After we’ve been there for a few hours, we decide to go back to the hotel to Xander’s suite. Kelly and Stefan shamelessly go straight to Stefan’s room, which is no shock . . . they’ve been all over each other all night. Hayley, Marty and I hang out with Xander, drinking and chatting and chilling.

At some point I must fall asleep - I feel myself being lifted by strong arms, I recognise his smell and wrap my arms around his neck, nuzzling into him, that’s all I remember as I drift off back to sleep.

When I wake up its light outside, I’m in a strange bed. I'm just in my underwear. I can hear breathing and turn my head to see Xander fast asleep at the side of me, his arm is draped over my stomach - his body and leg is half out of the sheets. He just has a pair of boxer briefs on, black ones, fitted. He looks so relaxed - when he’s awake he always looks on guard, but now, fast asleep with his eyes closed and his long eyelashes, heavy relaxed breathing - he looks so peaceful and young. I’m falling for him. I get a clenching feeling in my insides when I look at him. I turn on my side to face him and stroke his head, his jet black hair is so short, but I lightly run my nails over his scalp. He stirs a little and groans, I feel his grip on my waist tighten.

I push him over so that he is laid on his back, climb over the top of him and straddle him. I start to gently butterfly kiss his neck, as he wakens. All of a sudden he gives a low growl, his eyes open and he reaches up to grab the back of my head, fisting his hands in my hair, he brings my head down to his mouth and kisses me urgently, his tongue is inside my mouth . . . I kiss him back just as urgently. He unclasps my bra with his spare hand and I discard it quickly. I can feel his c**k twitching under me . . . the nervous anticipation starts to build in me - this is it - this is when I’m going to lose my virginity. I want him . . . I don’t want to wait any longer . . . I want him to be my first. I’m not going to tell him I’m a virgin - I don’t want him to hold back. With all the gymnastics I did as a kid and teenager, together with all the dancing I do, I doubt I’ll bleed anyway, so I’m just going to go for it. This man turns me on more than I’ve ever been turned on before. If I tell him it’ll spoil the moment.

“Mi amor . . . are you safe?” he whispers hoarsely.

I look down at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“Are you on contraception?” he nuzzles my neck as he asks.

I nod, “I have the implant and I'm clean.” Seeing as I’ve been with no one ever.

“What about you?” I ask him.

He nods, “I'm clean, I have always used a condom. . . I would love to feel what it is like inside you, with no barriers. It is all I have thought about since I first saw you.”

I smile down at him, “That’s fine with me.”

He suddenly flips me over moving his mouth down my neck, gently biting me and sucking my earlobe. He moves down my collar bone towards my breasts, his mouth finds one of my n*****s and he starts to suck and bite it, a moan escapes me, his other hand moves down to the apex between my thighs, he touches me and starts to stroke me . . . if possible I'm getting wetter. He slides a finger inside me, and then another.

“Oh God Xander . . . more.” I gasp. My body lights up like it’s on fire when he touches me. I reach down and hook my hands under his boxers to ease them off, his erection springs free, he kicks them off - I wrap my hand around his c**k, it’s so big and wide. How the hell is this going to fit in me? I move my hand up and down his shaft and feel him tremble.

“You do not know what you do to me mi amor, since I first saw you I have wanted you . . . to be inside you . . . to taste you - I cannot get enough.” He kisses my breasts so hard, biting them - it’s a fine line between pleasure and pain, but oh my god what a line. “Please tell me you feel this too – that you want me as much as I want you?”

I answer back, “I do want you, Xander . . . so much . . . I want to feel you inside me now.” My voice is so thick with lust that I barely recognise it. I feel him bite my breast and suck hard, I’m pretty sure that’s going to leave a mark.

He parts my legs with his knees, resting in-between my legs, the head of his length nudging at my opening.

He carries on kissing me . . . I raise my hips to try to get him inside me, my body taking over, but he teases me by moving back.

“Xander! Please!”

He growls and bites my shoulder gently. The next moment he slowly slides inside me, so that my body can get used to his size, then he pushes all the way in. I scream out as the burning pain hits me - I knew it was going to hurt, but it’s still a shock. It’s not as bad as I thought, just a burning sensation more than anything. I feel something sort of pop inside me – he stiffens and pulls out of me immediately. He leans up on his forearms so that all his weight is off me - he looks searchingly into my eyes, frowning, confused.

He says something quickly in Spanish, then realises I don’t understand “f**k! Please Elsa . . . please tell me you are not a virgin?”

I nod, “Its ok, I wanted you to be my first . . . please . . . please carry on.”

He shakes his head and mutters something in Spanish. “Are you sure?”

I nod “I need you.”

His eyes reveal how he feels at that moment, I can see the passion in them but I can see something else, he really cares. He eases back inside me slowly. It doesn’t hurt as much this time, the sensation taking over. It feels like he is filling me totally.

He does it again, he’s being too gentle with me, holding back, I encourage him, “Harder Xander!”

He groans and starts to move faster and harder, thrusting his hips into me. I can’t believe how good this feels . . . how close I feel to him.

I feel my orgasm start to build and grab on to his bottom, trying to push him further into me. “I’m coming!” I say in his ear breathlessly as I moan.

“f**k . . . Elsa!” and then we both explode and come together and he fills me. My body milking his. It’s exquisite. He slows down his moving inside me. I feel so wet in-between my legs, I hope it’s his semen that has done that and not blood . . . I’m scared to look.

He leans up, still inside me. “Why did you not tell me . . . I would never have done that?” he is frowning, shaking his head. He looks so worried.

I try to appease him. “Honestly Xander you don’t need to worry, it’s no big deal. I was saving myself for someone I truly wanted to do it with, and I did . . . you. Don’t worry, I don’t want you to marry me now,” I half laugh “I just wanted it to be special, and it so was.” I smile at him softly.

He kisses me so softly and tenderly that I thought I was going to melt, with so much emotion. “It was amazing, the feeling of being inside you was like nothing I have ever felt before . . . you are amazing . . . and now that I know I was your first . . .” he shakes his head in disbelief. “You are mine now, mi amor.”

He reluctantly slides himself out of me and I feel suddenly empty – I’m going to be sore later. There’s a little blood on the bed, not much but I’m mortified, I look up at him. He can tell from my expression that I'm embarrassed.

“I'm so sorry Xander, I . . . I didn’t think I would bleed. I did gymnastics for years, I presumed what needed to be broken would have been broken by now.”

He shakes his head. “Do not worry, we will sort this out. I have never been with a virgin before but this is normal, yes?”

I nod, swinging my legs off the bed, to get in the shower.

“Where are you going, baby?” He asks me.

My insides go to mush when he calls me baby. “I’m going to take a shower, clean myself up . . . is that ok?”

He jumps out of bed. “I’m coming with you.”

I shake my head. “No! I’m fine, I just need to . . . “

He cuts me off. “No arguments - I want to wash you.”

Did I just hear that right? “You want to wash me?”

“Yes . . . just let me do it . . . please?”

I shrug, “If you want to.”

I get the shower to the right temperature before stepping in. Xander is in the bedroom, presumably taking the sheets of the bed where I got blood on them. I’m mortified that I bled . . . he doesn’t seem to mind. I step in and let the hot water rush over me. I feel him step in behind me, his arms sliding around my waist.

“Are you ok?” he says into my ear while kissing my neck.

I nod and moan, does he know that everything he does feels amazing?

“I'm sorry . . . that I didn’t warn you, I didn’t think that I would bleed, all the dancing and stuff I’ve done, I didn’t think it was an issue. I'm so embarrassed.”

He raises his head from where he was kissing my neck “Do not talk like that - I wish you had told me because I would have been slower and gentler . . . but never be embarrassed in front of me. You have made me feel special, that you have given me this gift.

I turn around to face him, slide my arms around his neck and smile. “Thank you . . . for making my first-time one I’ll never forget, for all the right reasons.”

We kiss for a time, then he reaches behind me to get a flannel and shower gel. Lathering me up, he gets on his knees and wipes the flannel in between my legs to wash away the blood and his semen that is on me. It is the most intimate act - I know that it should be too soon for him to do anything so intimate to me, but it just feels right.

I put my dress on from last night when we're out of the shower. “I have to go,” I say sadly.

He nods, “I know, you have agreed to spend the day with your friends today, but I wish that you were not. I will miss you. I have a meeting at noon and will probably be away until at least midnight. All I will be thinking about all day is how it feels to be inside you. Thank you Elsa . . . for letting me be your first.”

My stomach flips. I kiss him, he wraps his arms around me. “Call me later?” I ask.

He nods and smiles. “One way or another I will speak to you later.” He strokes a finger down my cheek and then releases me so that I can go downstairs to the girls.