Papercut

EXTRA SHOT.

Another episode of crying me to sleep ended. When I got out of my room the next day, mom video called to remind me about my father's birthday. She asked me what had happened to my eyes and I told her that I stayed up all night watching dramas. She gave me that I-don’t-believe-you look because it wasn’t really the best lie for those swollen eyes, but it’s good she didn’t bother to ask again.

In the morning, I usually don’t eat breakfast. And it’s not like eating would fill this void I have in me. But I can’t say no to coffee and ICED COFFEE at that! So I decided to buy one later on my way to work. After getting myself ready, I headed to the nearest cafe in our area and ordered a large iced caramel macchiato with a double shot of espresso. I badly needed those extra shots in my coffee. At least my heart will palpitate for a different reason, which calms me down ironically.

Being an Accounting Staff is supposed to be an easy job, not until everyone gets on your nerves. Don't get me wrong, but I actually enjoy my work — when nobody is bothering me. What I hate the most are the people around me making groundless rumors and sometimes it's something really stupid that I also laugh at how pathetic the rumors are. Imagine being the center of these issues just because I bought coffee at Starbucks or treated myself to a nice bento for lunch. “I DIDN'T USE YOUR MONEY TO BUY IT SO SHUT UP!” is what I like to say, but I don't want to waste any of my time.

Yeah, I live with those rumors five days a week and I realized giving them attention wouldn't even get me a higher salary, so screw them. I scanned through the documents and two of them were unsigned. That would be a problem with my daily reports, so I dragged myself to the Treasury Department to talk to the Supervisor.

“You again? Lucas, what is it all about now?!” Ms. Felixa shouted when she saw me in their office. It's actually annoying when they get angry at me for coming here just to correct their errors. I collect documents from their office, so I don't think they have the right to blame me for their errors every time. But they always greeted me that way as if it was my fault.

I still smiled at her and told her about the unsigned documents. She sighed and told me I was a disturbance to their workloads. I let out a fake laugh when I put the papers on her desk and immediately walked away to avoid getting more stress from her.

Waiting is the worst thing in a job or maybe it's just me being sad and broken. Sometimes I don't know what my reason is. Maybe I miss the times when I'd simply reply to my ex's messages. Now my phone's quiet and I am constantly yawning from this boredom. I have to drink another coffee just to keep me awake.

There's also another way when I don't have any coffee left, which is thinking about her. It's t*****e to force myself not to cry whenever her image crosses my mind. It's hard to swallow every bit of happy memory that has now become a painful one.