And Ruin Followed Behind Her

Chapter 1-2

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO tell you, Julia,” Principal Anderson said, shaking his shiny, bald head. His jowls slapped the sides of his face as he stammered. “The parents have complained, again.”

It wasn’t Principal Anderson’s fault that the parents complained, but I couldn’t help resenting him for it. “What is it this time? Way I chew my gum? Way I say hello? What could they possibly have to complain about now?”

Principal Anderson cleared his jowly throat. “Well, it’s that hair, Miss Freeman. They...don’t think it’s appropriate.”

I scoffed involuntarily. “I only have this hair because they told me they didn’t like the corn rows, and I only had them because they didn’t like the afro. I wake up at four am to straighten this goddamn hair.”

I could tell my terse tone and the fire in my eyes frightened him. That sort of thing, well...it scared white people, especially weak ones like Principal Anderson. They thought I was a wild animal, ready to strike at any time. Even the smallest hint of a temper sent them running for the door. Something about black people getting angry put white people on edge, even though they have all the power. Maybe it’s because they have all the power, and they’re worried we’re gonna steal it back.

Principal Anderson scooted back in his chair, away from me. “I-I-I—”

“Speak up, Bob.” I spat the words.

I had no patience for this back and forth. In the three months I’d been teaching, Principal Anderson and I had already held seven meetings about my appearance. Still, I wasn’t supposed to be rude.

My mama taught me that—how to hold my tongue even when there was some nonsense taking place. She taught me to behave, to smile, to never raise my voice, and I didn’t, for eighteen years. It’s what got me out of this town alive when so many didn’t, but after going to Chicago, and seeing a place where black people got along just fine, weren’t looked at side eyed when they walked into a restaurant, and could puff out their chest with pride without fear of getting beaten, at least in the right neighborhoods, it was hard to act like a meek, obedient child again.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Julia,” Principal Anderson finally managed to say. “They don’t like it. They think it should be shorter, more professional. They also have a problem with...”

His eyes tipped down to my clothes, a tasteful pantsuit that couldn’t help but accentuate my curves. The parent-teacher association had a problem with me wearing slacks and a collared shirt now. Those bitties would say anything to get me fired.

“I am a curvy woman, Bob. I can’t hide that.”

Principal Anderson sighed. “The mothers would like it if you dressed more...matronly.”

“I’m twenty-five years old. How matronly can you look at twenty-five? Do you want me to gain fifty pounds to keep this job? Cuz I’ll do it, Bob. I’ll do it.”

He chuckled uncomfortably. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

I lowered my voice and dropped my eyes. “I need this job, Bob.”

“I know, Julia. That’s why I gave it to you. You’re a damned good teacher and your credentials are stellar. I want to keep you around, but it’s only been three months and you’ve gotten twenty complaints—”

“None of which are for my teaching.”

Principal Anderson shook his head, disappointed. “And now I hear students are harassing you, too.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m losing their respect.”

Principal Anderson placed his hand gently on the edge of the desk, expecting me to take it. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Julia, but you never had it.”

I was supposed to act like a meek teacher and tell him he was right, but I just couldn’t. “It’s always hard for all new teachers. I’m working on it, Bob. I’m getting through to some of them.”

“Not enough, though, Julia. Not nearly enough.”

I looked him in the eyes. “Are you firing me, Bob? Tell me straight.”

He shook his head. “Of course not. Not yet, at least. I’m just saying you might be more comfortable at the...other school.”

“You mean the black school across the tracks, right?” I said, pointing out the window behind him. “The one I came up through. The one no respectable white kid would attend even after everything that’s happened in the last twenty years?”

Principal Anderson nodded, timidly. “There are a lot of good teachers over there.”

“Then why ain’t they over here, too?”

“Because they like it there,” Principal Anderson said, smiling. “They’re happy. They’re respected. There is nothing wrong with that school, just because you say it’s a black school.”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it,” I shouted. “That’s not the point. Point is that I applied here, and I got hired here, not over there, and I should be able to work where I want as long as I’m doing my job right.”

“I agree, but...that’s just not how it is and you know it. How are you going to feel when these kids get a lesser education, not because of anything you did, but because the other students don’t respect you?”

I looked down at the ground. I couldn’t deny that giving the children the best education was my top priority. “I would feel terrible.”

“And how are you gonna feel when those really smart ones start to talk about you behind your back because you’re a distraction to their education?”

“I’m gonna feel really bad about it,” I replied. I could see him baiting me. Damn it, this wasn’t on me. Not this time. “But how are you gonna feel, Bob, when I leave this school because those women wouldn’t let me do my job? How will it feel when you let a bunch of old, white women convince you to fire a good teacher just because she’s black? Are you gonna be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be okay with that?”

“I can look in the mirror fine, Julia. Just fine. My duty is to the students, and to make sure they get the best education possible. That is why I hired you, because I thought you could provide that to them.”

I stood up, seething. “I know why you hired me, Bob. We all know why you hired me. Thing is, I have more education than most of the teachers in this place. I got a Master’s in history, Bob. How many of your teachers have Master’s degrees?”

“Not many...”

“And how many have that Master’s degree from Northwestern, huh? How many have them from one of the best schools in the country?”

“Not many.”

“Not one of them do. Not one of them but me. I’ll bet I’m the most qualified first-year teacher you’ve ever hired, and I’m gonna be the most qualified one that you’ve ever fired, too.”

“I hope that’s not true.”

I headed toward the door. “You can tell those old bitties I’ll start to wear my hair in a ponytail, and I’ll wrap myself in a sweater whenever I’m in school. I promise you that, and if they ever want to talk to me—well, my door’s open. Funny thing, though, Bob, I haven’t ever heard from one of ‘em.”

“They won’t talk to you except through me.”

“I know they won’t, Bob, and look. I know what you’ve done for me, giving me a chance to come back here and be with my mother. I know it’s not easy for you.”

Principal Anderson nodded. “Every day it’s something else. I’m trying, Julia. I’m really trying.”

“And I appreciate that, Bob. I do, but I’m a human being, with a goddamn Master’s degree from Northwestern. I’m nobody’s fool. I understand this game, and next year I might be right back over across the tracks where I came from, but until they kick me out of here, I am not going anywhere.”

“I understand.” He cleared his throat. “Uh, Julia, could you do me a favor?”

I stopped in the doorframe. “If I can, Bob.”

“Don’t tell anybody else you talked to me the way you did today, okay?”

“I was raised here, Bob. I know what’s expected of me. Consider me the perfectly behaved teacher outside this office.”