Close to the Marx

Entry 5

Entry 5

So alright that is getting annoying but whatever. So, where was I? Oh right…A short moment later we were walking outside, and the Colonel handed me a folder she had grabbed. I looked at it and saw it had Confidential on the cover.

“I am going to tell you a bit of a secret, and I think someone might be spying on me.” The Colonel said as she handed me the file. I looked at her and she continued to walk. “My room might be tapped, I had Eugene check because he is…how do you say that? A wiz at those things. He didn’t find anything. But I felt safer out here.”

We walked up to a walkway that connected two of the buildings overhead, and stopped.

“Open it,” the Colonel said.

I did what I was told and saw a picture of a man who I had never seen before. He looked to be as old as my old man, maybe a tad younger.

“That is Norman Hunraken,” the Colonel said.

“The scientist who found the cure to the Sigmosis virus?” I asked.

“Yes, that one.” Heather said she joined the Colonel’s side facing me.

“You think he is spying on you?” I asked c*****g my eyebrow.

“No, flip to the next page.” The Colonel said.

I did and when I did my jaw almost dropped.

“George Marquis Lorillard?” I said in a whisper.

“Yes,” The Colonel said.

“Why?” I asked.

George Marquis Lorillard was the owner of the Marquis Bank that came with the Fakirs when they arrived. I did not know what an owner of a bank would want spying on a Colonel.

“It could be because of my father,” the Colonel said. “Marxus, he was killed about a week ago.”

“Killed?” I asked.

“Flip the page.” The Colonel said and I did.

The next page was a picture of General Reynold Redd hanging from the rafters. It looked like an apparent suicide. However, seeing how his own daughter was standing in front of me thinking someone was spying on her, meant that this was no suicide.

“They made it look like a suicide.” The Colonel said. “In that file is an audio clip from my last conversation with my father. He was very cryptic I want you to review it and report back to me.”

“Yes ma’am.” I said looking up.

I nearly dropped everything when I saw f*****g Vinnie, he was standing in the walkway standing behind a potted plant. He was clearly jerking off! I couldn’t believe it! There he was I could see him moving his hand and his eyes rolled back, as he was f*****g jerking it!

Well…rule number one about a master knife fighter, always have a knife on you. I grabbed one from the back of my collar and quickly flicked it as if flicking a bug. I watched Vinnie go down as the knife hit him.

“Stupid fly,” I said flicking the air again.

“There are a lot today,” Heather said flicking at an actual fly.

“Anyways, Marxus, please report to me as soon as you can. Your Lieutenant is around somewhere, please get with him, it is of outmost urgency.” The Colonel said.

“Yes Ma’am.” I said saluting her.

“Come Heather, the Commodore wanted to meet with us,” The Colonel said.

“Commodore?” I asked never hearing of that rank before.

“It’s a long story, he might tell you about it eventually.” The Colonel said.

“Yes ma’am,” I said.

Heather and the Colonel walked off. Once they were in a safe distance I had to run up and confront Vinnie. I quickly got up there and saw Vinnie trying to pull out the knife in pain on the floor.

“Agh f**k!” Vinnie said trying to pull the knife out.

I looked at him, he had zipped up clearly probably not wanting to have been seen with his pants down literally on the floor. I looked at the window and saw the crevasse I had thrown the knife through between the windowpanes, I applauded myself at doing that without even trying.

“Vinnie what in the s**t do you think you were doing?” I asked.

“Marx, agh…” Vinnie said trying to pull the knife out of his shoulder. “Can you help me out this knife came out of nowhere.”

“That was because I threw it at your ass!” I said.

“You did?!” Vinnie said in pain. “Why?”

“Mother fucker you know why.” I said as I walked over to him and in one swift movement pulled the knife out of his shoulder. “You do that s**t in the privacy of your own home!”

“Agh!” he said holding his shoulder trying to stop the bleeding. “I have no f*****g clue what you’re talking about.”

I grabbed Vinnie pulled him up and pushed his face into his own c*m that he had splattered all over the plant. Vinnie was already in pain and yelped when I had grabbed him.

“I am talking about that,” I said.

“Oh that,” Vinnie said nervously.

I grabbed Vinnie and pulled him up by his collar.

“I have no time for your bullshit Vinnie you are my Lieutenant now apparently,” I said hold him tightly. “Now f*****g explain yourself before I have your ass court martialed.”

I pushed him away from me. Vinnie fixed his collar and held his arm.

“I was infected by the Sigmosis Plague, alright,” Vinnie said.

“You’re from Sigma?” I asked.

“No but my ex-girlfriend was and didn’t tell me,” Vinnie said hold his shoulder.

“And that has to do with jerking off because…” I asked.

“I can’t stand not to,” Vinnie said.

“But in the middle of f*****g public!” I said.

“I was not in the middle of public,” Vinnie said.

“You were jagging off to the Colonel and Heather behind their backs!” I said.

“How dare you say something so true.” Vinnie said.

“I don’t care if the Stigmosis made you grow eight d***s and you have to jagg off each one of them twice a day, DO NOT DO IT BEHIND THE COLONEL’S BACK!” I barked.

“You can’t blame me though,” Vinnie said. “I heard she has six perfectly good boobs because of her Sigmosis affliction.”

“Mother fucker I don’t care if she has 8 boobs 6 p*****s and 3 assholes, DO NOT f*****g JERK OFF BEHIND THE COLONEL’S BACK IN f*****g PLAIN MOTHER f*****g VIEW!” I said angrily jabbing at his shoulder making him squirm in pain.

“Agh alright point taken.” Vinnie said.

“You know what tomorrow first thing tomorrow we’ll go to the f*****g doctor and we’ll get you something for the Sigmosis you have.” I said and he gave this wince at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Is it a girl?” Vinnie asked.

“Good god,” I said sighing pushing him away.

“It’s a valid question,” Vinnie said.

“We have more pressing matters than what the f**k you are fantasizing about.” I said. “I have to research a bit, something the Colonel wanted me to research. You go take a cold shower, so cold you think your twelve d***s are going to fall off…”

“I don’t have twelve d***s alright,” Vinnie said.

“Needless…go take a shower until your d**k shrinks, tomorrow I want you here at 0500 hours you understand?” I said.

“Yes sir,” Vinnie sighed.

“And if you even think about m**********g ever again around the Colonel or Heather, I swear to f*****g Krishna, Vinnie I will chop your mother f*****g d**k off. Even if you think I won’t be able to do it. You saw how I stabbed your ass you didn’t even know it was me.” I said. “I can easily chop your f*****g d**k off and you’ll never know it was me.”

“Understood.” Vinnie said nervously.

With that Vinnie walked off nervously.

Well this thing started to beep but that was pretty much everything that happened today. I’ll log my day tomorrow. Until then this has been Captain Marx Browne signing off.