Two Hearts

Break Up!

Laura

I wasn't used to the extras in life. I never imagined that I could be taken to a driver where I needed to be. You don't get me wrong, I would have refused, but I would allow it only because of Eric, courtesy.

I asked the driver to take me to kindergarten. On the way, I called my daughter and asked her not to hesitate and to be there for the next 10 to 15 minutes. When I took the kids, I asked to take me to the store, because as always I had to think about dinner. Take the food home and prepare it. Sometimes I carry bags so heavy that I went home with difficulty. After that, my fingers and hands ached, it was difficult to start cooking right away. This time I decided to use a bit of Eric's favor and take the food home so I don't have to carry heavy bags.

At the store, I asked the kids to wait for me in the car with the driver while I quickly entered. After buying the necessary things, we went home. The heart began to beat faster. I didn't know the husband was already at home or on the way from work, I didn't want him to catch me being brought home by a stranger. Fortunately, when I got out of the car, I didn't see Jack anywhere and said goodbye to the driver and went inside the apartment building.

We did not own this apartment. We rented it and paid quite a lot of money. But you have to pay for the amenities. We have long dream of an apartment of at least 2 rooms, but this dream brought me into even greater debt, because I had to pay more than before. The apartment was beautiful and comfortably furnished. I took care of it as my own to keep it in order. Now I realize that we will spend the last days here. You will have to call the hostess tomorrow and refuse to rent. Where am I going in 3 months, when all this adventure will be over I had no idea, but one thing was clear - there will be enough money to start again.

Jack was not at home. It made me breathe. The children went to they room and I started cooking. There was peace and quiet at home. There was no loud music, the cans of beer didn't go anywhere. I had arranged and cleaned everything. The children played and I prepare dinner. I catch myself with the thought that I could get used to it, to such peace, to life without stress. I had to tell him tonight that it was all over. It could no longer be kept silent. I realized, the sooner we speak and put an end to everything, the sooner I can start my life from beginning.

I had almost finished cooking dinner when he came home.

- Hey! It smells so good, what’s for dinner today? - he came in and asked. As always, expected that everything will be served on a gold tray. Whenever I asked for something to cook, he never knew what. Only rarely he said what he wanted. It was not worth dreaming about bringing food home at all. Only after persuasion and discussions did we all go to the store together to buy the things we needed for the house.

- Meatballs with potatoes and salad - I answered in a neutral tone.

He smiled and went to the room. As always, he did not even offer help and did not ask how I did today, if everything was fine. Arranging the dishes on plates, I take them to everyone. We hadn't bought the seat chairs yet, so we ate where we could.

He ate his dinner while watching a series on the tablet and drinking beer. Beer had become his daily, at times it seemed that he had exchanged alcohol for me. He wasn't the aggressive type, but very annoying though. He tend to cause endless and pointless discussions, listen to music, play games and sexually harass me. It was up to my neck sometimes and maybe that was one of the reasons I agreed.

I quietly ate my dinner and took the plates. Then I went to help my daughter do her homework for school. She had already remained more independent. She did a lot of the work herself, but I still checked to make sure she understood everything correctly. And if there were mistakes, we talked together why it's different. Jack had helped her again only a few times and also just because I insisted on it.

It was too late when I entered the kitchen. He sat and smoked. I also took a cigarette and smoked it. The way back was no more, either now or never.

- What happened? he asked. Jack knew me too well and sensed that something was wrong. Probably my too serious facial expression betrayed me. I had too serious look and he sensed that I had something to say.

- We need to talk serious - I started - and I don't want you to interrupt me. I want you to listen to me to the end. What I will tell you is serious and you will have to accept it in spite of everything.

- What are you talking about? - he frowned asked.

- Jack, no matter how hard it is for me to say that to you and no matter how painful it is, we have to go our separate ways. By that I mean I want to divorce. I'm tired of this relationship and everything that's going on around. You said by yourself that you will not change and you do not want to do it, but I have realized that I can no longer stand it. I have decided that we are putting an end to everything today. I give you a week to figure out what and how to do it. Find where you can stay, maybe you can with a friend or brother, sister for now. I don't know, you have to figure it out for yourself. If you need financial help, I will help you. But what is happening in our family now cannot continue. - I finished my speech with one breath. I felt like I wanted to cry, but at the same time I felt a big wave of relief. It took me over and I felt light in myself. I finally said what I wanted a long time ago, I just hadn't found the courage in myself.

He looked at me and was silent. It bothered me a little. I wanted him to say something. Maybe I even hoped internally that he wanted to object, he wanted to change something to save the family, but his answer surprised me.

- You said all? Are you sure of youre words? There will be no going back, if I leave, then our relationship will be over. You speak so bravely, are you sure you will deal with everything. - I could see that he was laughing at me in silence.

I can't believe what he said. He wanted me to take my words back, but that's not what I expected. He wants me to repent and ask forgiveness, that I pray he doesn't leave and it was too much. My sadness began to turn into anger.

- How dear you!?! You hear what you say? You have destroyed this relationship with your behavior and drinking. My measure of patience is full. Did you really think I would suffer all my life? I do not deserve it. Think what you are talking about! - I spoke aggressively and with each word my anger grew.

- Do as you please, don't worry about me, I'll find a place to live and I don't need your money. But remember, I will not return, the only thing I want is to meet the children. - he determined and went to the room.

I was shocked. I walked into the room for a moment and looked at his lying body in the bed. This man didn't address me in any way. I no longer saw the nice guy I met 10 years ago. I didn't know this person anymore.

- I will live with my children for a few days with my mother. You will have enough time to figure out what and how to do. Just give me a message when you're ready to go, I'll come so you can give me the keys. - I determined with restrained anger. I wanted to slap him, I had a feeling he didn't understand what he was doing.

He just nodded. That night I slept in the children's room. I didn't want to be near him for a moment. I was hurt by his attitude and response. I didn't expect anything like that. I would like to see what kind of life he will live without me. I was derailed and couldn't fall asleep for a long time. My thoughts rang and I didn't even notice when I fell asleep. Everything changed and even faster than I expected.