Princess, It's Me

I Lost Control

We made our way to my room. I had to carry her since she was struggling to see. I wondered if she was blind since she couldn't see, but she claimed it to be too dark. Maybe that's a werewolf trait? Either way we made it to my room.

I led her to the other end of my room in order to get some candles lit for her. I hardly used them since I had no trouble seeing, but she needed them. As I lit the candles I could feel her eyes wandering the room and inspecting it and everything in her sight. Once every candle was lit and the room was illuminated as if it was the middle of the day, I explained to her that this was my room, that I prepared the bathroom for her use, and that I needed to leave for a moment.

Once that was settled, I ventured out and roamed the halls for awhile. I needed time to think and being in the same room as her or even being close to her made it difficult to concentrate on anything but her.

It was obvious that she didn't feel the mate bond since she didn't react the way I though she would. Which was similar to how I reacted when I first smelled the lavender in that room. However, I don't think she would have trusted me so easily without the bond. That would be a dumb move on her part. Also, she seemed to be calm the whole way through, but I could feel her heart racing. It could be from the nervousness or the fact that I was carrying her. Could it be that maybe she felt it, but didn't show it? 

The connection might be different.

"What do you mean?"

Well, we should have felt a jolt when we first touched her, but we didn't. I know for certain that she is our mate, but there is something missing. 

"Again, what do you mean?"

I don't know.

"Well, that was helpful."

After thinking about what Xavier said, I went back to the room. I opened the door expecting her to be out of the bathroom, but she was no where. I went to the bathroom door and knocked. I heard a small reply.

“Just wanted to let you know that I am back, and I will be waiting for you out here.” I told her. I sat down on the bed and my thoughts kept circling what Xavier had said: There should have been a jolt when we first touched and that there was something missing. I always believed that the mate bond was set in stone and that both parties felt the connection immediately. However, she is human, so that could cause some difference in how it was supposed to be. But I should have felt that jolt. Even if she didn't, I should have. Is it possible that she isn't my mate? Could I have just gotten it wrong?

After awhile of waiting and with her not coming out, I knocked again and asked if she was ok. Moments later she came out flying. "Woah!" I caught her feet kept running. Something scared her. "You ok? What happened?"

"There’s –" She started.

"What? There's what?" I asked starting to worry. What was scarring her so bad that she bolt out.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Was her response as she tried to break herself free of my hold.

"Nope. You are not allowed to lie to me. That’s the only rule I got in my room: No lies. So now you have to tell me the truth. What made you sprint out of the bathroom like that?" She stared at me for a moment and didn't say anything. "So?"

“There is no one there, but I heard a voice that I haven’t heard in a long time. Growing up I thought I was crazy because no one else heard her. I was the only one. I heard her again in there and I got scared because I don’t want to be crazy.” She said.

At this very moment I started to feel an electricity flow from her skin through my finger tips and then through my entire body. I stared at her in confusion as I felt our bond grow. She was my mate. Without a doubt. I started to release my grip and see how much I needed to touch her in order to feel this way. I was hovering over her skin and I still felt that connection.

Out of no where she pushed me away and ran to the door. 

Black. Everything went black. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything. All I saw was black.

Stop.

A voice spoke to me in the same way Xavier communicated with me. "Stop?"

In a blink of an eye everything came back. I was in my room, but I was in front of the door with my mate's wrists in my hands and her crying with her eyes shut. I released her wrists and she fell to the floor.

"Dammit!" I yelled. How could I have lost control like that? How could Xavier do that? "Listen, I–" We heard noise coming from outside, "Trust me," was all I could say as I grabbed her and threw her on the bed. With how small she was I could easily hide her. I climbed into bed and covered both of us.

Three knocks were heard before the guard came in. He looked around before closing the door and walking away. The guard was only half way down the hallway when she pushed me away. She attempted to run away, but I held her down. The guard would hear her if she made any noise. I had her pinned down with my hand on her mouth.

"Just wait a moment, please. I can explain, Just wait, ok?" I slowly released her and she pushed herself up and away from me.

"You see... well I'm a... a wolf. Well, I'm not actually a wolf per say, but I can turn into one. Ummm there is no excuse for what just happened, but I wasn't in control of myself. My wolf Xavier, took over and he is the one who... did that. Sorry." I stared at her to see her reaction, but she mirrored me. She and I just stared as I explained myself to her. When I apologized I felt so much shame that I had to look away.

"But why would you do that?" she asked. I know she meant no harm, but it hurt me that she thought of me like that.

I covered my face to hide the hurt clearly visible across my face and with a loud exhale I answered, "Listen, I would never in a million years ever do that to you. Never. It was Xavier."

"Ok, then why would Xavier do that?"

I removed my hands from my face and stared at her in disbelief. I was sure she would feel the jolt as I did. "You didn't– you don't– what?"

I stood up and paced the room. I needed to think, but I couldn't leave the room because I feared she would run away. I mean who wouldn't after what Xavier did, what she thought I did.

There has to be a clear reason as to why I seem to be the only one feeling the mate bond. She's human, or I think she is. Maybe there is the problem. I am assuming she is human. What of she isn't. I mean she just described to me that she has a voice that only she could hear talk to only her. So in other words, she has her own Xavier. Xavier is my wolf, so does that mean she has her own wolf? I haven't heard of any other were-anything. So she should be a werewolf and she should be feeling the bond as I do. However she isn't.

These thoughts circled my brain and before I knew it the sun started to rise. How long had I been lost in thought that the night ended so quickly. I look over and see her sleeping so soundly.

"I wish to always be by your side and to never hurt you in any way. I'm sorry." I said before I curled up next to her and drifted off to sleep.