Princess, It's Me

The Room

He opened the door and stuck his head out. He looked left and right, then just held his head out to listen. Nothing.

He pulled my hand slightly and I followed. We went deeper into the castle. At the end of the hallway we made a left. I decided that my blind trust in Stephan could only go so far. I paid attention to the directions he was taking us so that I could remember how to get back. I felt his hand slowly elevate before I fell on what felt like stairs. A small “Ow” escaped my lips before my other hand covered my mouth and fear started to consume me.

I felt him let go of my hand and for a moment I thought that he left me here to get caught and suffer the consequences of trespassing. Then I felt his arms around me. He lifted me off the ground with one arm under my knees and the other on my back. I could help but gasp the moment my body left the ground. My arms instantly wrapped around his neck. He walked up the stairs, then two more before he put me down. He held my hand and continued to walk towards our destination. We went down a hallway that had three doors: one on either side and one at the very end of the hall.

When we reached the end of the hall, he stopped and turned towards me. It was brighter here. I could see more than in the closet. I saw the outline of Stephan’s face so now I knew where to look. We stood there for a moment. Not sure why but we did.

“Ummm… Ok, so… yeah…” He stumbled through his words before he turned, pulled out a key, and opened the door.

It was dark in the room. There was no light, not a single candle lit. It was also cold, and I shivered as I followed Stephan through the doors. He led me into the room until we reached the other side. He let go of my hand and disappeared. I stayed there waiting. All I could hear was his footsteps fading in and out as he walked around the room. I heard him open something before a scrape lit the room. A match. He lit a candle that rested in a candelabrum and handed it to me.

I saw him. His facial features, the color of his eyes, everything. He couldn’t have been a couple years older than I was. His eyes were a hazelnut color. We held the candelabrum together for a moment as I examined him. He smiled then let go and went to light more candles that were disbursed throughout the room. I stayed where he left me, and I watched as he slowly revealed the room. Every time he lit a candle, I saw more and more of the space around me. I saw the colors of the walls and the paintings hanging on them. I saw the door where we entered was large and beautiful. It had intricate designs carved on the wood that gave it beauty. I saw the furniture in the room: an empty desk with a chair, a large bed with nightstands on either side, a dresser, a wardrobe, a small table by the door, a wall full of books, and a small living room. The living room was the closest thing to me. It has two couched, one long and the other short. They were joined together at the corners with a small table connecting them. A low table rested centered between the two couches.

When he lit the last candle, he turned to me and said, “This is my room so feel free to get comfortable. There is a bathroom over there for you to use. There is a towel and some clothes in there for you. I am going to leave for a moment, but I will be right back, ok?”

I replied with a quiet “Ok” before he looked at me and left. I walked to the bathroom and opened the door. It was spacious. A tub sat in the middle, a sink with a mirror on the left side of the bathroom, and on the right was the toilet. I turned the water on and waited a moment for the water to heat up. I filled the tub half way before turning the water off. I started to undress. I took my shoes off and felt relief as my toes stretched out of their confinement. Unlike the other ladies of the world, I wore pants instead of a dress. I took those off then my shirt and let them fall onto the ground. I turned to the mirror and saw someone. It was me, but I hadn’t seen myself in such a long time. I looked horrible. I was too skinny. I was dirty. I could see my bones poking out of my skin. The longer I stared at myself, the more I hated how I looked.

I turned to the tub and slipped in the water. It was a nice feeling. The warmth of the water hugged me and relaxed my aching muscles. I grabbed some soap that was nearby and started to scrub my arms. Black water dripped into the tub as my skin began to reveal its true colors. The scent of lavender filled the bathroom as the water got darker and darker. I had just finished scrubbing every inch of my body when two small knocks interrupted my solitude.

“Yes?” I asked afraid that no response would lead to the door being opened.

“Just wanted to let you know that I am back, and I will be waiting for you out here.” Replied Stephan.

I waited a moment and heard nothing else. It was strange that he didn’t come in here knowing that I would be unclothed. He had me trapped. He knew that I wouldn’t know where to go and that I didn’t have anywhere to go. He knew that I was trespassing and that I couldn’t possibly ask someone for help. He knew that he could do anything to me and get away with it, but why wasn’t he? I mean, of course I didn’t want him to do anything; however, I couldn’t help thinking of why he wouldn’t. I waited a couple more minutes and everything was the same.

I unclogged the tub and let the black water disappear through the drain. I filled the tub once more and rewashed myself. The soap that was near the tub was practically half gone when I finished. I let the water disappear a second time. This time the water wasn’t as dark. I got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around me. I walked to the sink and looked at myself for a moment. My now clean face twinkled and for a second I believed myself to be pretty. That thought ran through my head for a split second, then I removed my towel and saw the rest of me. My body was too skinny. It made me look pathetic. When I was dirty at least it made sense. Looking at my body now without a single grain of dirt, I felt so defeated. A tear rolled down my cheek before I turned away from the reflection.

I put on the clothing that Stephan had mentioned. It was a shirt and a pair of pants. The shirt fit too big and the pants easily slipped off my waist. I had a solution for the shirt: I just had to tie it in the back, and it wouldn’t be too long. The problem were the pants. The waist was too big, and they were really long. I decided not to tie up the shirt. If my pants were to fall, then the shirt can cover me up. I rolled the waist band of the pants are high as I could. Then I rolled up the bottom of the pants on each leg so that I wouldn’t trip over myself. I took a couple steps and had to readjust my pants.

Another two knocks were heard before Stephan asked if I was still ok. I caught myself smiling for a moment. In a perfect world, he would take care of me and make sure nothing would happen to me. He would make sure I had everything I needed and that I was happy. I wouldn’t have to sleep with one eye open and I could take a bath every night. In a perfect world I would be able to look in the mirror and like what I see, and he would tell me again and again how pretty he thought I was.

In a perfect world, you would not have met him, my dear.

The voice.

I knew no one was in the bathroom with me and I knew that only I could hear that voice. But fear ran through my body so quickly that I jolted out of the bathroom and ran into Stephan. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly that I couldn’t move. My heart was on overdrive and my breathing was out of control.

“Woah!” was all Stephan could say at the moment. He held onto me so tightly that there was no way I could escape his grip. “You ok? What happened?”

“There’s –” I didn’t want to tell him about the voice. He would probably think I’m crazy.

“What? There’s what?” Stephan asked. His voice was full of worry and his eyes darting from the bathroom to me.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” I replied and tried to get him to let me go.

“Nope. You are not allowed to lie to me. That’s the only rule I got in my room: No lies. So now you have to tell me the truth. What made you sprint out of the bathroom like that?” Honestly all I did was stare at him and it felt like time stopped. I just stared. There were no thoughts running through my head or emotion in my heart. I simply just stared at him. “So?” he asked with a half-smile.

“There is no one there, but I heard a voice that I haven’t heard in a long time. Growing up I thought I was crazy because no one else heard her. I was the only one. I heard her again in there and I got scared because I don’t want to be crazy.” I quickly said as I stared at Stephan half scared he will label me crazy like everyone else, and half hopeful he wouldn’t.

We stared at each other for a while. I had conflicting emotions, but he only had one: confusion. He stayed silent as he stared at me thinking. He slowly released his grip until he was barely touching me. I waited for him to let me go completely, but when he didn’t, I pushed him away and ran for the door. I was inches from the door knob when I felt his hand pass my head and slam the door. I stared at the back of his hand, too afraid to turn around or move.

A low and deep growl filled the room. It sounded like it was right behind me. There was no dog in the room when we came in. Did he bring it with him when he left the room? Stephan grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face him. His hand that was holding the door found my other wrist and he pinned me to the door. I was staring at him as he growled at me. He growled at me. He wasn’t a dog; how could he growl like that?

I found his eyes and they shined a different color than his hazelnut color from before. Now they looked red. Blood red. I wanted to escape, I wanted to run, but all I could to is stare at this person who looked like Stephan, but in no way was Stephan.

He moved forward. His eyes locked with mine. He was inches away when I started crying. Tears rapidly flowed out of my eyes. I heard him growl and immediately closed my eyes. I was too afraid to keep them open. Too afraid to look at him. I waited for him to close the small gap between us; however, I felt him release the grip on my wrists. At the same time my legs gave out.