Princess, It's Me

Xavier

I was on the floor. A crying mess. I kept my eyes closed, but I could feel Stephan still standing close by.

“Dammit!” Stephan yelled. The loudness of his voice startled me. “Listen, I – “

Loud noises where heard coming from the hallway. My eyes shot open and I covered my mouth to silence the gasp that was threatening to escape. “Trust me” was all I heard before I was thrown on the bed. Stephan stayed close as he covered us entirely with a blanket. I stayed still and listened to the noises that where getting closer and closer.

Three loud knocks where heard before a guard opened the door. He glanced around the room with a candle in his hand. After a moment of looking around, he closed the door. The loud noises from his armor slowly disappeared. Once I couldn’t hear his armor, I pushed Stephan away and ran towards the bathroom. I wasn’t even off the bed when Stephan pinned me down under him. He had both my wrists above my head and the other covered my mouth.

“Just wait a moment, please.” He said. “I can explain. Just wait, ok?” He waited a moment before he slowly released his grip on my wrists and mouth. I slid my wrists down and pushed myself away from under him. I sat up and stared at him in disbelief. How could someone so sweet and kind be so forceful and mean?

“You see… well I’m a…” Stephan started. As he stumbled over his words, I could tell he was back to his usual self and not that monster from before. “…a wolf.”

What did he just say? He’s a wolf? How could that even be possible. He has got to be joking. There is absolutely no way.

“Well, I’m not actually a wolf per say, but I can turn into one. Ummm… there is no excuse for what just happened, but I wasn’t in control of myself. My wolf, Xavier, took over and he is the one who… did that. Sorry.” During his explanation, Stephan’s eyes didn’t leave mine. Our eyes stayed connected and it felt as if I was in a trance. I heard and understood what he said, but for some reason I had trouble looking away. It wasn’t until Stephan apologized and broke our connection that I was able to regain control over my eyesight.

After a moment of silence I finally said, “But why would you do that?” Stephan exhaled loudly and covered his face with his hands.

“Listen, I would never in a million years ever do that you. Never. It was Xavier.”

“Ok, then why would Xavier do that?”

Stephan slowly uncovered his hands and looked at me. In disbelief he asked, “You didn’t – you don’t – what?” Stephan got up and paced the room. He mumbled to himself as he tried to figure out whatever was running through his head.

I stared at him as he paced. He was lost in thought and I began to be lost in my own thoughts as well. He was gentle and kind and there was no reason for him to have attacked me like that. Sure, he says he's some sort of shapeshifter and that he has a wolf inside of him that can control his body. Yet, as crazy as that sounds, I sort of believe him. I believe that he wasn't in control and that he apologizes for his actions; however, I'm still not convinced he is what he claims to be. If I could see it, then I would believe it.

But what if he wasn't lying. What if he does have a wolf named Xavier and he is the one who attacked me. I wouldn't want to see Xavier if that meant I would get attacked like that again. And what is stopping Stephan from losing control again? How am I safe with someone who isn't 100% himself?

How silly I felt defending someone I had only met moments ago. How could I be so certain that this person could keep me safe if only for a night? I could easily get hurt or killed just sitting here and no one would know. Yet, I still feel inclined to sit here. I still feel safe even after Stephan or Xavier attacked me. I still feel complete trust for the person pacing the room. 

Stephan continued to mumble to himself and I couldn't help but giggle. How cute he looked focused and determined. 

You like him.

It was that voice again. As scared as I was, I pushed passed the fear. I couldn't risk having to explain my craziness to Stephan when I had avoided that conversation thanks to Xavier. I stayed still and listened, but that voice stayed silent.

I laid down on the bed and focused on listening. I heard the quiet footsteps of Stephan pacing the room and the mumbling under his breathe. I heard a soft melody orchestrated by the crickets outside the window. The windows shook quietly as the wind passed by. I heard everything but the voice. I stared at the ceiling patiently waiting to hear that voice once more, but she stayed silent.

I felt my eyes grow heavy and slowly drifted off to sleep.