The greatest love

TWELVE

Maddie

Maddie was in a dream. Or it felt like a dream anyway. She was in a very expansive garden that she could not see the edges. All around her were flowers of every kind and colours and very green, very healthy grass. It was sunny yet she could not see the sun. It was truly beautiful. There was a flowery scent in the air. Words could not describe the beauty and peace of this place.

Maddie was wandering around, amazed by the beautiful flowers and feeling very peaceful. Suddenly she sensed a man walking towards her. She looked around to see a man with a white robe. She could not see his face. He was surrounded by a bright bright light. Yet Maddie could feel kindness and love radiating from the man. Maddie was not religious, she has not been to church since Sunday school when she was four or five years old, but somehow she knew this was Jesus.

What a very strange dream this is, Maddie thought. Am I in heaven then? Did I die?

Suddenly the “man” said as if replying to Maddie's thoughts, “You are in a very special place, Maddie. But it is not your time yet to be here. You are not dead. You must go back to your life on earth. You will serve a greater purpose in your life.”

His voice brought enormous sense of peace to Maddie. She said, “But I don't want to go back, Jesus. I am happy here.” It was true, she has never felt happier than now in this place.

Jesus replied, “You can do more good on earth. And your family miss you very much.”

And then an image appeared in her periphery. She could see her mother and her father sitting on either side of her. She was sleeping. Her mother and father was crying. They were saying they love her very much.

Maddie's heart tightened at the image of her parents. She loved them and missed them very much too. She knew in her heart she must go back.

“I love you very much Maddie. You are special and very much loved.” Jesus said with a smile. Maddie sensed the smile rather than saw with her own eyes. And then everything went black.

Maddie opened her eyes then. Confusion seemed to be filling her eyes for a moment. She knew she was no longer in a dream. She saw her mother sitting beside her. She was holding Maddie's hand and she looks pale.

Her mother exclaimed, “Oh thank God you are awake honey. How do you feel? Are you in pain?”

“What, what happened Mom? Where am I?”

She looked down at her arms where there was an IV line connected to her arms.

“You are okay honey. You are in the hospital but you will be okay. I promise,” said Allison.

And then Maddie remembered. What she had done. How she had felt when taking all those pills. Tears filled her eyes.

“I’m really sorry Mom. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to do this, but I really had no choice. I’m really sorry you had to find me like that,” Maddie said in a very small voice.

“Oh Maddie honey, you had nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m sorry you had to go through it alone. And I’m sorry you felt like you had no choice. But you did have a choice. You could have confided in me. You know you can always come to me. I love you so much, Maddie.”

Allison hugged Maddie gingerly for a long time while they both cried. Maddie knew she was in the right place now. This was her home, in the arms of her mother. She already felt her heart healing.

They were interrupted by the nurse coming in. The nurse then brought the doctor with her. The doctor checked Maddie’s statistics and her stomach. He declared Maddie was doing very well and she could go home the next day after completing the final dose of medicine.

Allison called her husband and told him to bring Timothy with him after his therapy. When the doctor and nurse had left, Allison helped Maddie to drink and eat a little bit of her meal.

When Maddie is resting, Allison told her softly, “Honey, I know what you’ve been going through. I am so so sorry. I wish I had known. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Upon her daughter’s confused face, she added, “I read your diary. I found it on your desk.”

Maddie began to cry earnestly while hugging Allison tightly. Allison stroked her daughter’s back. “I promise you will be okay. I promise I will always be there for you. Your father and brother too. We are and always be a family.”