The plus-Size Mate He Was Ashamed Of

Chapter 3

THE FIRST WARNING

I had stopped counting the days. Instead, I counted the pounds.

I stepped onto the scale every morning before eating anything. Every night, I went to bed with my stomach growling and told myself it was proof that I was getting closer.

Ronan had noticed, and that was enough.

“You’re losing weight,” he’d told me two weeks ago, his eyes moving over me with something that almost looked like approval.

I had smiled for the rest of the day. It wasn’t much, but it was progress, so I vowed to push myself even harder for him.

I woke before sunrise, ran until my lungs burned, trained until my legs shook, and ate barely enough to stand. Whenever hunger became unbearable, I reminded myself of Ronan.

That morning, Seraphine put us through an endurance drill. We had to run the training grounds, climb the wooden wall, and finish with a sparring round. I was already exhausted. My lungs burned, and my legs felt heavier with every step.

By the time I reached the wall, my hands were trembling. I grabbed the edge and tried to pull myself up, but slipped. Laughter came from behind me, and heat rushed to my face.

“Again,” Seraphine ordered.

I looked at her. “Commander, I—”

“Did I ask for an excuse?”

I swallowed. “No.”

“Then climb.”

I tried again. My arms screamed, but this time I managed to pull myself over the wall. I landed hard and crossed the finish line on shaking legs. I had done it.

I looked toward the edge of the grounds and found Ronan watching me. He gave me the smallest nod, and my exhaustion suddenly felt significant. I had made him proud.

Breakfast had become another part of my training. I sat at the table with a plate in front of me, staring at the food. My stomach growled, but I pushed the plate away.

“You're not eating?” one of the older kitchen staff asked.

“I ate earlier," I said, but that was a lie.

Ronan entered the dining hall a second later and my eyes immediately found him. His gaze dropped to my untouched plate before returning to my face.

“You're not hungry?” he asked.

I shook my head.

A faint smile touched his lips. “Good.”

That single word warmed me more than the food ever could. If eating less meant getting closer to the woman he wanted me to be, then I could endure the hunger so as long as it takes.

Later in the afternoon, me and Ronan stood behind the eastern training hall, where no one could see us.

“You've been quiet,” Ronan said.

“I was thinking,” I said.

“About what?”

I smiled. “You said I’m losing more weight now.”

His mouth curved slightly. “You are.”

The small praise warmed me more than it should have.

“I heard Edward talking to the elders earlier,” I said. “About the patrols.”

Ronan's expression became serious. “They're worried about the northern border.”

“Because of the Hollow?”

He nodded. “They're getting bolder.”

A shiver passed through me. “Then I need to get stronger too.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “Why?”

“So I can defend myself.” I touched my waist. “And if I'm going to stand beside you one day, I can't be someone you have to protect all the time.”

For a moment, he simply looked at me before he nodded. “That's the right attitude.”

I smiled. I would get stronger, lose weight, and learn to defend myself. One day, I would stand beside Ronan without being a burden.

“I’ve been trying harder.”

“I noticed.”

I smiled, but before I could answer, excited voices drifted across the training grounds. Ronan glanced toward the sound.

“Someone’s coming,” he muttered.

I frowned. “Who?”

“I don’t know.”

More voices followed, growing louder. Movement stirred near the main courtyard as several wolves hurried through the grounds.

Ronan’s expression hardened.

“What’s happening?” I asked.

“Nothing you need to worry about." He turned away.

I was about to follow him when pain exploded through my stomach.

“Ow!” I gasped as my hand flew to my abdomen.

“Elara?”

Another wave hit, sharper and deeper, until my knees buckled.

“Something’s wrong,” I said, my breath coming in shallow gasps.

Ronan moved toward me, but when footsteps sounded from the direction of the training hall, he stopped. His eyes immediately went toward the approaching voices before settling back on me.

I reached for his hand. “Please help.”

He didn’t take it. I stared at him. He was ashamed of me. That was the truth I had spent two years trying not to see. Ronan didn't want anyone knowing we were together, especially not seeing him touch me in public.

A future Alpha could not be caught caring for a girl who couldn't even shift, a girl he had repeatedly called too soft, too weak, and too fat and far from Luna material. Even now, while I could barely breathe from this strange pain, his first instinct was still to protect his reputation.

“Ronan,” I whispered.

“Get up.”

I stared at him. “I can’t.”

His jaw tightened. “Then stop making a scene.”

The words cut deeper than the pain.

“I think I need the pack doctor," I said as the pain intensified.

“Then I’ll call someone.”

He stepped back instead of toward me. I almost laughed through my tears. He wouldn’t even touch me.

He turned his head toward the path.

"Edward!”

His voice echoed across the grounds. Footsteps thundered toward us, and Edward appeared.

“What happened?” he asked, breathless as his eyes landed on me.

“She collapsed,” Ronan said.

Edward immediately rushed to me. He crouched beside me and carefully lifted me into his arms. “Easy.”

My head fell against his chest. I barely noticed him because my eyes remained fixed on Ronan.

He looked at me for one brief moment, then his attention shifted toward the noise coming from the courtyard.

“What’s going on out there?” Ronan asked, his eyes shifting toward the growing commotion.

Edward glanced toward the courtyard. “An important person has arrived at the pack. The elders are already gathering at the main gate.”

Ronan’s expression tightened. “Who?”

“I don’t know yet. But judging by the reception, it seems like their appearance has surprised everyone.”

Ronan’s jaw clenched. He didn’t look surprised. If anything, the news seemed to agitate him.

“Damn it.” He turned toward the noise.

“Ronan,” I called weakly.

But his attention remained fixed on the commotion as he walked toward the courtyard.

Edward carried me away as Ronan disappeared toward the commotion. I watched him until the distance blurred my vision.

He had been cruel and ashamed, but I still couldn't make myself believe he didn't love me. I told myself his fear of being exposed had made him cold, and that he would have held me if we were alone. So even as darkness swallowed my vision, I clung to the lie I had built my life around.

Everything happened because of the circumstances surrounding us. Ronan cares about me, he had to.

I couldn't let myself believe otherwise.