Love Finds A way

004

The buzzing in my pockets made me stop working. I pulled out the phone and saw it was an alarm I set for eight PM when I left home earlier. It was to remind me to ask Laura about progress on the plan, and see if there was a need to make changes.

Yet, here I was on a Tuesday, stuck on my computer for hours on end, punching in numbers even my wildest dreams wouldn't place in my bank account.

Raising my head, I took a glance around the Acc-Fin department and found it empty. Not a single person remained. I knew that there were people who usually stayed until around six PM, since I'd done so before. I just didn't know they left before eight.

No amount of bribe or torturing would make me admit it out loud, but seeing the room empty made me want to smile. Most of my day was spent trying to avoid people's gazes since the truth about what they knew always lurked between their eyes.

This made it nearly impossible to relate with my coworkers since I didn't have the confidence to look at them. It was worse when I needed to eat. I had to pretend I was on my phone throughout until I was back in Fin-Acc.

Even though I was stuck at the far corner of the room, work was rough at the start. Everyone coming in and looking towards the end of the room would see the blue ribbon holding my hair in a ponytail first. To avoid that, I had to look away from people.

Though it took me some hours, I eventually got the hang of it. Immediately I did, work was smooth sailing from then on. I managed to find a rhythm and continued to work.

Until the clock told me it was eight.

Packing my stuff, I left the hall and proceeded to go home.

The wind was the kindest thing that has touched me since morning and I found myself smiling as I let it wash over me. In that moment, all the bad things that had happened before fell away.

There was no whisper of Xavier's name. No one was looking at me like I'd eaten a human alive and was explaining it away.

Still grinning as I drank in more of the wind, my arms spread apart, I looked to the left and all the beauty of the world that was healing me — if even for moments — faded away.

It was too dark to tell who the duo were. But I could see the skirt that was hunched on the lady's stomach, her back resting on the wall, and the man kneeling between her legs.

There was a ringing in my head as the scene took me to two nights ago. Then, a burning that could only be fueled by anger welled jo, threatening to swallow me whole.

Curiosity nearly made me still around, to see who this girl is. But I didn't let it. I couldn't let it.

No man in his right senses would eat out his lady at the front of Tongues — except he didn't care about her. Except he thought of her as something to play with until he was ready to find his own woman.

Turning away, I walked down the steps leading to the ground and began walking. Home is what I'd have said if anyone asked me where I was walking to. But in that moment, I had no direction. My head was swollen with too many thoughts and I was walking to pour out as much of them as I could.

Xavier.

I shook my head, trying to retain the feeling of the wind sneaking through all the corners of my body, reminding me how good it felt to be alive, to not hate a man so much I plotted against him, but it was no use.

When the mind decides it wants to explore a memory, all the body can do is keep up with it.

***

Due to the nature of my work and how it always took me an hour to get home, I rarely went out. So, Laura and I came up with a plan. We'd go out at least once every week.

This week happened to be on Tuesday. There wasn't much work to do and I thought I could catch up the next morning before Jeremy would come after my head.

I didn't last twenty minutes at the bar, a glass of white wine in hand, looking at people just be… people when I felt the presence of someone beside me.

There's no word to describe the smell that filled my nose. All I could say if asked was that the person smelled sweet.

“Hello,” a voice made to swoon women said softly.

Turning to him, I knew I was done for. His face was enough to decide for me how the night would go. But I had kept away from men long enough, looks weren't going to be the only decider that night.

Xavier was friendly, was great at conversations and was so kind, I understood the confidence with which he approached me.

That night, he was like the mind — leading me on a journey I didnt know where it was heading but I knew that somehow, we ended up in a bedroom across the bar.

Drunk s*x had never happened to me before and I always tried to make sure it never happened. And that's what made the evening special. I wasn't drunk when we walked into that room, neither was I near anything that could be described as drunk.

My mind was clear through the night, and Xavier was patient. He didn't rush it like most guys did in movies. He started with the kisses and kept leading me onward until I was so hot, it felt like my head was short-circuited and the only thing it could think of was s*x.

By the end of the night, after Xavier had shown me the addiction that was s*x when done right, and explained without using words the reason why people made love when they were feeling down, I slept better than any I had done in months.

Then, I woke up and he was gone. And he acted like I was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

So, yes, I hated him. Passionately. I hated him for taking my virginity from me like a gentleman, only for him to act like a thug after.

And he would pay. I swear on the little things that go well for me.