Alsina is My Weakness

Chapter Eight: Grim Reaper

August

Ever since she told me, I've been out of it.

I can hardly remember the performance I had two hours ago. Hell, I'm not even sure if I performed.

Right now, I'm outside, getting higher than angels ever could.

Not really sure where I am but I don't care.

I stared at any light that came into view as my vision began to blur. I was coming down from my high, because reality is stronger than what I'm currently smoking.

She

Is

Sick.

She's kind, sweet, and sick.

She's a God fearing, bible verse reciting, poetry writing saint, and yet she is sick.

Why her? Lupus takes lives. I've seen it destroy people.

Affecting every 1 out of 250 people, why the f**k did she have to be that one?

May

I saved up money to buy a very extravagant dress. It was the most beautiful dress my young eyes had ever seen. On my prom night, I put the dress on. I did my hair really nice and I even put on light makeup.

I slid pretty bracelets on my wrists. I wore a necklace that was passed down to me from generations of beautiful women.

On my prom night, instead of having a rather handsome date, I was alone.

Instead of actually going to prom, I stayed in my dimly lit room.

I spent my prom night all dressed up laying on my bed remembering sweeter times.

I remembered all the times August and I spent together.

On my prom night, I laid on my bed all dressed up wishing August were there to be my handsome date.

Unfortunately, I spent that night all alone.

I spent my prom night physically dressed up and mentally messed up.

But somewhere in my sick twisted mind, I felt like prom queen.

9pm

The day was over. August had been gone all day. I, on the other hand, had no incentive to rise from the bed I laid on ever since he left.

My medication had me slightly drowsy and I didn't feel well emotionally nor physically.

I believe I need August right now. I think a kiss from him would save me right about now.

But he is still angry with me.

I just wish he'd come talk to me.

As some more time passed I began to feel extremely tired. I slowly fell into a state of unconsciousness.

12am

The room was fairly dark.

Footsteps had waken me up. It was August. I kept my eyes closed to pretend that I was still asleep.

He sat on the edge of the bed to unlace his shoes and to take them off.

I watched him intently.

"August.", I said lowly.

He didn't turn around or give me a response at all. He acted as if he didn't hear me.

"August, please talk to me."

I still got nothing. He remained completely still.

"August. I'm sorry. You promised me forgiveness, remember? I just want you to talk to me."

He turned around slowly. He faced me. "What you want me to say? I don't wanna talk right now."

I stared at him. He had been crying.

I hesitated. "Tell me that you want me still. Because I hope this isn't the end of us."

He simply shook his head and left to shower.

I on the other hand, laid back down feeling defeated.

I'm not sure why he shook his head, I don't know what that meant. But what I do know is that the relationship that August and I have will change drastically.

I suppose he again needs time. But then again, the last time he was granted time he abandoned me.

Now that August is back in my life, I can't imagine him out of it. I'd rather have the reaper come and get me than to live a life without him.

I closed my eyes and sulked.

When August returned I didn't speak to him. He laid beside me and I turned my back to him.

I'm so angry with him. He has never hurt me in this way before. Him not talking to me hurts. Even though he is beside me, I feel isolated from him.

A moment later, I decided to turn around. My face was met with his.

Immediately he turned his back to me.

"August, why won't you even look at me?", my voice cracked as I spoke to him.

He didn't answer me.

I simply turned back around and cried myself to sleep.

Someone tell the reaper I'm ready to go...