Pack: The Wolf Within

Chapter Six: Pack Mentality

Scout

He's pack. He's pack. He's pack.

The moon. The moon is calling.

I will not give in to this.

I am trinity; the wolf, the beast and I, we are three entities, somewhat crowded within the small confines of my head. It's a little claustrophobic truth be told.

My wolf insists we are pack, constantly. Just as he maintains that we three are pack, he insists that Rebel is pack too. And, eventually, Rebel will make us four. As we were once before. I ignore this last part. It's a sore subject.

The beast prattles on about the moon. It has limited interest in the rest of my life except when it comes to the full moon, but it too, has taken an odd interest in Rebel. It is oblivious of the wolf, or pretends to be. At times I can tell it sends out feelers, trying to sense the wolf, to see if he is here with us. Their connection to each other is precarious, at best, but he calls the wolf, brother.

Even, I am not aware of them all the time. Primarily when I have other things on my mind. Like Rebel.

I will not give into this.

I continued to reiterate this notion, to tell them as much as to reinforce it to myself, but my resolve has dwindled with the passage of time, not to mention his proximity. My walls have come down. The wolf has played with him, the beast has taken note of him and I, well, I am utterly smitten by him. My mantra seems to have fallen on deaf ears

The internal debate, if that is what it is, continues unabated. It is a situation I had not expected to find myself, again. Not since...

I sat up quickly, shaking off my contemplative mood.

I heard Elizabeth sneaking up the stairs. Despite her declared ninja skills, she is still just a little girl. There is no amount of stealth that can evade my senses. I smell her, a combination of her strawberry bubble bath and Johnson's Baby shampoo, and she has apparently gone down to the kitchen for some breakfast; mostly I smell the bacon. My stomach rumbled in response.

I heard a quick tap tap tap on the door. But it wasn't my door. Rebel grunted in response, but Elizabeth knocked again.

"I brought you breakfast." She explained, her voice muffled through the door.

I opened my own door and crossed the narrow landing. She'd never brought me breakfast. Ever. "Where's mine?"

"I dunno. Prolly downstairs." She turned back towards Rebel's door, her curls bouncing.

I snagged a piece of bacon before she could maneuver the plate away, accidentally banging it against the wall. "Hey! That's not for you!"

We both looked up as Rebel opened the door. His hair was an adorable mess. He wore a pair of dark blue sweat pants that hung low on his hips, the drawstrings framing his crotch. It took all my willpower not to to touch him; and by touch I mean pounce on him and wrestle him to the floor. I wouldn't describe him as muscular, but certainly he was well toned, morning shadows outlining his every feature. The boy had no fat on him at all. My eyes were drawn to him, every part of him, his flat tummy; more washboard than six pack, his shallow belly button, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the way he stood more prominently on his left leg, the way his toes...

A plume of heat washed across the threshold and along with it, his scent. It's not that I hadn't noticed it earlier, but he had caught me staring at him and his body's reaction was undeniable. I was starting to think, maybe, it wasn't the best idea to bring him to my spot in the woods. I heard a low grumbling growl.

"Elizabeth, go downstairs." I nudged her back behind me, then pushed Rebel back into his room.

"But I brought..."

I closed the door before she could finish, then stood quietly, watching him. His scent was dizzying, intoxicating. His nostrils flared and I knew he sensed my arousal. He bit his lower lip, fighting a grin. "Hey."

"Hey." My voice actually squeaked.

I couldn't tell what he was feeling, if he was reeling internally, as much as I was. A grin blossomed as his gaze slipped from my eyes down to my crotch. If he had any question about what I thinking, surely my obvious excitement made the math much easier.

"Is that a gun in your pocket..."

"Shut up." I stepped forward quickly and he danced back.

"Or are you happy to see me?" Rebel drew his gaze back up, looking me in the eye, his half grin taunting me.

"Cocky much?"

"You're one to talk. Rebel glanced down again for emphasis and it took a great deal of will power not to cover my crotch.

He shook his head, shaking off the ideas in his head. "I just feel..." He rubbed his bare arms. I could see goosebumps, not to mention his hard n*****s, as if he were cold, despite the waves of heating roiling off of him.

I knew what he felt. The pull of the moon affected us in more ways than the obvious. Truthfully I'd been perplexed by it since I was able to comprehend the fact that the moon, despite appearing to change, was the same moon floating in the night sky every night, the only difference; reflected sunlight. But clearly, there had to be something else, something uniquely different that would trigger a transformation with the full moon.

"How do you feel?" I watched him, looking for any tell tale signs. "You really should eat."

Rebel appeared perplexed, then looked at the door. "Well, I was about to before you made your sister leave." He stepped closer, snuffling. "Plus, you ate my bacon."

"It's bacon." I shrugged, unapologetically. "Who can resist bacon? I mean the only thing better than the smell of bacon....is the taste of bacon."

"Yeah, but that was my bacon." There was the barest hint of a whimper. I wanted to pet him, among other things, but caught myself before I could react to the desire.

"Seriously. How do you feel? This is going to be..."

"I know. I know." He insisted petulantly.

We'd been going over stuff, I guess my way of prepping him. but this morning even I felt different. I woke up feeling it, as I have every full moon since my first change. But, oddly enough, I felt it more today than I have in a long time. Maybe it was his proximity, a subtle pack mentality.

We are pack, the wolf agreed.

The moon is calling, the beast reiterated.

I watched Rebel. Did he hear the voices too?

My heart raced with the thought of Rebel's first transformation, a sympathetic anxiety pulsing through me. It would be easy to assume I knew what he would be going through. But the change wreaked havoc; in every possibly way imaginable and the pain is excruciating, especially the first time. Any attempt to explain it or prepare him falls short, as it did me. After the first change, the body develops a sort of muscle memory that facilitates the process, enabling rapid transformation. The first change, however, literally destroys the fiber of your being. How does one prepare a person for that?

Rebel shrugged and turned towards his bed, flinging his blankets and sheets aside, as if looking for something. An intoxicating plume of his scent filled the room. I stepped back gingerly, holding my breath, as both wolf and beast roared within, drowning out my own muted keening of desire. Rebel stood up, c*****g his head a bit as if listening. I could tell by his happy little aroma that he was grinning. "How do you feel?"

I wanted to bite him. I wanted to taste him. I wanted him. But I was not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. I shook my head, grinning wryly. Things seemed to be a little topsy-turvy. I was the one who was supposed to be confident and self assured. I'd been through this countless times but he showed no signs of anxiety as he pulled on a t-shirt and slipped on a pair of flip flops.

"Let's eat." He charged past me, bumping me aside playfully and ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I raced after him, my ponderous mood momentarily sidetracked by his carefree spirit.

We ate voraciously. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I saw the food, then everything but the food in front of me was forgotten, including Rebel. The few times I glanced up, I saw he ate just as ravenously.

It was natural to crave food before the transformation. I don't need to change with the moon, anymore; though the compulsion to do so, is tremendous. That is when the urge is strongest, but I've gained a modicum of control. Still, I feel the pull; the ebb and flow in my mood, it's almost tidal. But, right now, I seem to be suffering some pack mentality or maybe an empathetic hunger. Though I don't believe it's relegated to just hunger. Everything; my compulsions and desires, my senses, my energy, my appetite, seems to be heightened. More so than ever before.

He is pack. We are pack.

I turned at the certainty in the wolf's voice. I was taken aback. I didn't understand the wolf's insistence. Why was it so different?

We are pack

The moon is calling.

I shook off the voice and ate. I couldn't help but think my change tonight would be something new, something I hadn't experienced. I shuddered with trepidation. The pull was stronger, even more so than when I woke. I knew from past experience that as the day progressed the influence would grow stronger. I'd long been able to subvert it, but today, tonight was definitely going to be different.