Motorcycle Babe

Space behind the Bleachers pt.2

Raven

When she said those words—make me stop—I felt my pulse thrumming in my throat. My mind was a goddamn riot, screaming at me to just do it, to stop being the "protector" and finally be the disaster she was begging for.

I didn't move toward the exit. I couldn't. Instead, I closed the distance between us in two strides, crowding her until her back hit the cold concrete wall of the crawlspace. I leaned in, my shadow swallowing her whole. Her hazel eyes were wide and dark, speaking a thousand words she didn't have the memories to back up. Mostly, they were just saying touch me.

I finally broke. I let my hands find her thighs, the denim of her jeans hot under my palms. I moved up, cupping her face, my thumbs tracing her cheekbones, but I forced myself to hold still. I didn't kiss her. I didn't move. I just watched her chest heave, her breath coming in shallow hitches that told me exactly how much she wanted this.

Then she closed the distance. She crashed her lips onto mine, and the world simply vanished.

God, she tasted exactly like she did all those years ago—only better, sharper, more real. Instinct took over. My hands moved of their own accord, squeezing her breasts the way I used to when we’d hide away from the world. It earned me that low, shaky moan that had always driven me toward the edge of sanity. We moved in sync against the wall, our tongues sliding against each other in a battle for dominance that neither of us wanted to win.

Her lips were a haunting reminder of everything we’d lost, but I fought to stay in the present. I let my fingers pinch her n****e through the fabric of her shirt, and she let out another broken sound that vibrated straight into my marrow. I wanted her. I wanted to reclaim the girl she used to be. But I couldn't. Not here. Not when she didn't even know who I was.

We pulled apart just enough to breathe, our foreheads still pressed together. I didn't stop, though; I dropped my head, kissing her jawline before trailing my lips down to the sensitive skin of her neck. I reached out, taking her hand and lacing our fingers together against the wall. I brought her hand to my mouth, slowly licking the palm and then her fingers, watching her eyes flutter shut as I tasted the salt and heat of her skin.

She moaned again, a desperate, hollow sound, as I took her index finger into my mouth and sucked gently. Every cell in my body was screaming at me to strip her out of those clothes and finally finish what we started—a dream I’d been having every night for two years.

But I couldn't. There were too many reasons, too many secrets I wasn't allowed to tell her, and I wished to God I could just scream them all out.

I pulled her fingers from my mouth and kissed her cheek, the metallic taste of my own blood from the fight still on my tongue. "I'm sorry," I rasped, my voice sounding like it had been dragged over gravel. "I can't do this."

I stepped back, the sudden coldness between us making my skin crawl. I bolted for the opening before I could change my mind and crawl back to her.

"But why?" she called out, her voice small and hurt as I squeezed out from behind the bleachers.

I wanted to tell her. I wanted to turn around and say because you don't even remember why I'm the last person you should be kissing. But it wasn't my place to say anymore.

I hopped on my bike, the engine roar drowning out my thoughts. I couldn't go home—my mom would see the look on my face and start asking questions I didn't have the answers to. I just rode. I leaned into the curves, the wind whipping past me as fragments of us flashed through my mind. She doesn't remember. She doesn't know. And a dark part of me hoped she never would.

Fuck.

I nearly swerved as I remembered Arielle. I was supposed to meet her back at the school grounds at 6:30. I debated texting her to move the spot, but then I realized I was an i***t who didn't even have her number.

I’d have to go back. I’d have to see Arielle and try like hell not to run into Gabriella while I was there. But deep down, I knew I’d be looking for her. I’d be scanning the crowd to make sure Tyler or some other prick wasn't trying to get close to her while she was still daze-walking from what we just did.

Because even after the accident, even after the silence, the truth is that I still love her.